Ride Me

8:30 AM PT -- DMX has been released from jail, but there's a catch ... law enforcement tells us he's been placed under house arrest. It's unclear at this point how long he'll have to stay home.

And for the record ... DMX tells TMZ he was totally unaware there was any weed in the car.

7:44 AM PT -- According to the police report, obtained by TMZ ... DMX smelled like he was drunk and was in possession of WEED at the time of the arrest.

Cops say X was a passenger in an F350 truck that made an illegal lane change. When they stopped the ride, cops say they found a bag of weed sitting on the arm rest of the passenger door, where X was sitting.

Cops say one of the officers recognized DMX during the arrest and knew there was an active warrant for his arrest.

The officers proceeded to search the car ... and found 3 more bags of weed under the driver's floor board. ... so they cited the driver for possession of weed.

According to the report, DMX became "very aggressive with his words and was making multiple idle threats."

X was ultimately cited for weed and hauled to a nearby jail to deal with the warrant.

DMX was arrested in South Carolina last night -- but immediately called BS on the cops -- screaming out allegations that he was set up ... and it was all caught on tape.

According to DMX, the cops pulled over a car he was riding in for making an illegal U-turn. During the stop, cops say they found weed in the car and put the rapper in 'cuffs. Cops say they also noticed a warrant out for DMX stemming from a previous driving without a license case and informed him that he needed to go to jail.

X was pissed and began ranting about the situation while a female friend of his recorded the entire incident.

"This ain't no normal traffic stop," X screamed ... "18 cops, 5 cars, get the f**k outta here man."

X also claims the driver did nothing wrong -- and the car should never have been pulled over in the first place.

"It was legal ... they got nothing."

At one point, you can hear X say, "I'm sweatin' like a motherf**ker, yo."

X was eventually hauled to jail in Greer County, SC -- and he's scheduled to face a judge sometime this morning.

Law enforcement sources say ... X is expected to be sentenced to 15 days behind bars ... but will most likely only have to serve 10, if he's a good boy.

During the arrest, X suffered what is believed to be a slight asthma attack ... and paramedics responded to the scene to treat the rapper. Don't worry, he's fine now.

There once was a man from Missouri ... who almost died in a freak car explosion -- but now, Dick Van Dyke is actually joking about his near death experience in the form of a limerick.

The 87-year-old funnyman -- who calls himself the barefoot prince of Malibu on Twitter -- posted the poem on Twitter yesterday ... writing:

"I once drove a car that could fly
I had never driven so high
But, I recently found
Even back on the ground
U still can be left high and dry"

He also posted a photo of the burned out remains of his ride along with the caption, "Used Jag for sale REAL CHEAP!!"

TMZ has just obtained the 911 tape reporting that Dick Van Dyke was sitting in a car that was engulfed in flames, as one caller said, "I don't think he's aware it's on fire."

Several witnesses placed calls, saying the situation was dire. Dick was not moving out of the Jaguar.

One funny thing ... no one seems to know what a Jag looks like. It was misidentified as a BMW and a Mustang.

TMZ broke the story ... a good Samaritan stopped and pulled the actor out of the vehicle, just before it exploded in flames.

87-year-old actor Dick Van Dyke narrowly averted disaster moments ago on an L.A. freeway -- when his Jaguar burst into flames -- but thankfully, he was pulled to safety in the nick of time.

The hero who rescued him is a guy named Jason Pennington, who tells TMZ, he was driving along the 101 when he saw a car full of smoke on the side of the road ... and an elderly man hunched over at the wheel.

Pennington tells us, he pulled up and ran over to discover Dick Van Dyke struggling inside.

Pennington says he opened the driver door and pulled the actor out of the vehicle as flames tore through the engine.

We're told Dick was slightly disoriented by the experience but did NOT need medical attention. His wife came to pick him up shortly after and brought him home.

As for the car ... it's toast.

LeBron James is too damn famous to sit in traffic like a regular person ... so he used a police escort to get him where he needed to go -- which happened to be a Jay Z / Justin Timberlake concert.

The Miami Heat star posted a video of the detour on Instagram Friday night. As it plays you can see LeBron following a cop car with blinking lights down the wrong side of a street in Miami ... successfully bypassing the massive traffic jam to his right.

He added the caption "They treat us so well. Needed it cause traffic was nuts!!"

Ya might see Mark Geragos driving around town in a bright orange Lamborghini in the near future ... 'cause Chris Brown says it's the LEAST he could do for his super-lawyer for saving his ass ... again.

Brown hit the club scene in Hollywood last night after Geragos worked his magic and obliterated the hit-and-run case against the singer ... a huge deal considering Brown was facing jail time if convicted.

But outside Hooray Henry's, Brown told TMZ he's eternally grateful for his attorney ... and to show his gratitude, he's considering giving the guy an UNBELIEVABLE thank you gift ... the kind of gift that goes 0 to 60 in 2.9 seconds.

Chris Brown's hit-and-run case was just dismissed, even though prosecutors argued Chris deserved to be punished and punished severely for his alleged vehicular misdeed.

Chris and the victim struck a civil compromise -- she didn't want any money because the damage was so minor and she wanted the case dismissed. But the L.A. City Attorney objected, arguing to the judge this morning that Brown was very aggressive toward the victim after the accident -- calling her a "bitch."

The City Attorney also argued that Brown was on felony probation and therefore his alleged misconduct of leaving the scene without anteing up a California driver's license was all the more serious.

The judge, however, didn't buy the City Attorney's argument and dismissed the case.

Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos tells TMZ, "The case never should have been filed in the first place. It's unfortunate he was being prosecuted for who he is rather than what he's done."

Chris Brown is in a weird legal predicament in his hit-and-run case this morning -- the victim doesn't want him prosecuted, but we've learned the L.A. City Attorney is going full throttle to nail the singer.

As TMZ reported ... Chris was in a very minor fender bender and left the scene without providing the victim with a California license and other documentation. The City Attorney filed hit-and-run charges, but the victim then told us she DIDN'T want any money because the damage was so minor and DIDN'T want Brown prosecuted.

The City Attorney still pressed on because the victim hadn't told prosecutors what she told TMZ. But we've learned on Wednesday prosecutors met with her lawyer, who told them his client wanted the case dropped and didn't want any money.

The case is in court at 10 AM PT and we've learned the City Attorney will still object to a dismissal -- in other words, they want to prosecute Brown for hit-and-run.

The judge could ignore the City Attorney and dismiss the case.

One final, weird thing. During the last hearing in the case, we've learned a honcho from the L.A. County D.A.'s Office sat in the peanut gallery. We're told the D.A. is interested in the case because if Chris is prosecuted it could trigger a probation violation in the Rihanna case.

Kevin Hart isn't putting his ass on the line ... just to shave 30 minutes off a trip -- not if he has to ride an 800 mph aluminum pod to do it!!

We asked Kevin last night in Hollywood if he'd jump at the chance to ride the "Hyperloop" -- pods that will float through tubes at high-speed ... and could blaze from LA to San Fran in a half hour.

Elon Musk, co-founder of Tesla, just unveiled plans for the "Hyperloop" -- which sounds like the kinda thing celebs would totally dig ... after all, time is money, right?

Not even close. Not for Kevin anyway.

Soulja Boy has a lot in common with Alec Baldwin -- not that he's as talented, but he's definitely as disrespectful on American Airlines, because the renegade rapper got booted from an AA plane after causing a pre-flight scene.

Just like Alec, Soulja was on American Airlines Friday when the flight attendant took the mic and told everyone to sit the f**k down. Soulja, who was standing and walking the aisles, didn't follow the command.

Just like Alec, a flight attendant approached the rapper and repeated the order and explained the consequences if he didn't obey.

Just like Alec, the rapper blew her off.

And just like Alec, he was "removed" from the plane.

Unlike Alec, Soulja was actually contrite, telling TMZ, “It was a bad night and me and the flight staff didn’t see eye to eye. In hindsight, I’m extremely sorry for all inconvenience caused to the passengers and employees of the airline.”

Rapper Machine Gun Kelly educated TMZ on the fine art of intoxication during a wild night out in Hollywood this week ... but he was so blasted, he probably doesn't remember any of it.

Do you know what a "Rager Shot" is?? Neither did we ... but apparently, it gets TWO people drunk ... at the same time.

We should let MGK explain ...

The gold truck Katy Perry commissioned to promote the release of her new album -- Prism -- was just hit by a drunk driver ... TMZ has learned.

The collision occurred 15 minutes ago near a truck stop in Pennsylvania. We're told the driver of a semi-truck slammed into Katy's whip, causing substantial damage to the cab. We're told the semi driver is in the process of being arrested for drunk driving.

Now the good news. The precious cargo is fine ... because Katy wasn't in the truck at the time of the crash. As for the others who were inside, we're told they're ok.

4:55 PM PT -- Law enforcement tells TMZ ... the accident occurred in a Walmart parking lot.

We're told the driver of Katy's truck was inside the Walmart when the collision happened.

"Big Brother's" got nothin' on Tyga -- 'cause the rapper says he's no fan of "gay ass" stuff.

The comments came flying out of Tyga's mouth outside Supperclub in Hollywood this week ... when a TMZ photog tried to ask the "Make It Nasty" rapper about the two $10 million lawsuits he's facing from some ladies who say their nipples were exposed in a Tyga music video.

At first, Tyga addressed the question -- saying, "Look at my car. Do I look like I care about a lawsuit, bruh??"

Then, he unleashed the insults on our photog -- "What you got a camera for? That's gay as s**t."

He continued, "You got a CAMERA on a n**ga ... go in [the club] and get some bitches."

When our guy explained that he was doing his job, Tyga shot back -- "That's a gay ass job."

Leonardo DiCaprio's annoying perfect life just got more awesome -- dude got to try that really cool water jetpack thing for your feet ... as if we needed more reasons to be jealous of him.

The pics were taken Tuesday in Ibiza -- and in case you're wondering, yes, Leo also had a yacht filled with beautiful women just a few feet away.

He's like the adult version of the "Blank Check" kid.

Just like George Zimmerman ... the police officer who snuck a pic of Zimmerman's driver's license during a routine traffic stop has been cleared of wrongdoing, TMZ has learned.

TMZ broke the story ... Trayvon Martin's shooter was pulled over for speeding last week in Forney, Texas -- and audio from the dash cam footage revealed one of the officers snapped a photo (thanks to the unmistakable sound of the iPhone camera shutter).

Cops opened an investigation ... because pics for personal use are strictly prohibited.

The Forney City Manager, Brian Brooks, tells us ... the photo was Kosher. Brooks says the cop took the pic so his Lieutenant could see he pulled over the notorious defendant ... kind of a CYA.

More trouble for the New York Jets -- ANOTHER running back was arrested. This time, the perp is Joe McKnight who was busted in Jersey on outstanding warrants during a routine traffic stop.

McKnight -- who was drafted out of USC in 2010 -- was initially pulled over in Hanover Township on July 30 around 11am after cops noticed his 2010 Mercedes speeding and changing lanes without signaling.

But during the stop, the officer ran Joe's plates -- and noticed outstanding warrants for his arrest for (1) failing to pay a $200 fine because he didn't have proof of insurance during a previous incident and (2) failing to pay a $120 fine for a prior routine traffic violation.

According to the New York Post, 25-year-old McKnight was cuffed and hauled to a nearby station where he was booked and released after posting the $320 bail.