The Kardashians

In a move that might revitalize both his basketball and his reality television career ... Lamar Odom is heading back to Los Angeles ... 'cause he's officially been picked up by the Clippers.

Odom was the main piece in a four-team trade that was finalized this afternoon. LO will be leaving the Dallas Mavericks, where he spent one absolutely terrible season.

Lamar is in the final year of his contract and will make $8.2 million this year.

This will be Odom's second stint with the Clip Squad ... he was drafted 4th overall by the team back in 1999. He later spent seven season with the Lakers.

Sources connected with the negotiations between Lamar Odom and the L.A. Clippers tell TMZ ... Kris Jenner had nothing to do with the deal.

There are reports Kris created the master plan to get Lamar back on an L.A. team, but our sources say Lamar's agent, Jeff Schwartz, propelled the negotiations.

Lamar could be traded to the Clippers as early as today, but there are several pieces to the puzzle that have to fall into place for that to happen.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are one smooth couple ... so smooth that they even went to a laser hair removal clinic together.

With Kim in the drivers seat of a Rolls, the slick power couple showed up to zap some pesky hairs away at a L.A. area clinic on Thursday.

Kourtney Kardashian was set on a natural water birth until a few days ago when she witnessed one first hand ... and now when her water breaks she's making a beeline for Cedars ... TMZ has learned.

Our Kardashian sources tell us ... Kourtney and baby daddy Scott Disick heard water birth is better for the baby because it's a less shocking transition from the womb. Water births are often done without administering drugs ... which some experts believe is also safer for baby and mom.

Kourtney has a friend who gave birth a few days ago and she allowed Kim's sis to witness the blessed event. So Kourtney was ringside when the mother screamed like a mutha as she reared back and pushed in a tub of water.

Kourtney told friends it was "horrific" ... "looked brutally painful" -- and that was all she wrote.

So KK has decided to give birth Beyonce/Jessica Simpson style -- in a mega-suite at a fancy hospital.

Kourtney, who is due any day, will deliver her baby epidural style at Cedars-Sinai. And speaking of deliveries, Jerry's Deli is right across the street.

Pastrami on rye ... hold the water.

It's the Kardashian family's creepiest shopping spree ever -- Kim and co. hit up a famous cemetery in Hollywood yesterday ... to purchase space for their DEAD BODIES.

Sources close to the Kardashian klan tell us, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Rob, Bruce and Kris all stopped by the Hollywood Forever cemetery to buy a family plot. We're told they haven't picked out the exact place yet, but scoped out several locations ... including a giant mausoleum.

Right now, we're told the major logistical concern is size -- Kim and her sisters aren't sure how many kids they'll have ... but they want plenty of room for all. Like we said -- creepy.

FYI -- Kim's dad Robert Kardashian is buried in another cemetery.

Kris Humphries told his ex, Myla Sinanaj ... he KNEW Kim Kardashian hooked up with Kanye West because he was mysteriously absent from the big wedding ... sources close to Myla tell TMZ.

We're told Kris groused to Myla about how Kris Jenner suspiciously referred to Kanye as "a close family friend" -- someone Kim knew for a long time. Kris H told Myla, "If he was such a close family friend, why wasn't he invited to the wedding?"

We're told Kris confided in Myla he "felt played" by the whole thing and was genuinely devastated when news of Kim's new relationship broke.

Kris Humphries invented the story about Kris Jenner masterminding Kim Kardashian's sex tape in order to live out a "disgusting" fantasy -- this according to Kim's sister Khloe Kardashian.

Khloe was out in New York today when we asked her about the TMZ story -- that Humphries told his ex-girlfriend that Kris Jenner directed Kim to make her infamous sex tape ... and even had Kim re-shoot it because the first take wasn't pretty enough.

Khloe responded, "That is just disgusting and disturbing, and probably HIS fantasy!"

It's a shocking statement coming from the woman who defended Humphries just days ago -- calling him "a good guy" unfairly caught up in a cruel extortion plot.

Kris Humphries trashed Kim Kardashian and her family in conversations and text messages to his former girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj ... telling her Kris Jenner not only directed Kim to shoot her sex tape, but to re-shoot because Kris J didn't think the first one was pretty enough.

As TMZ first reported, Kim has subpoenaed Myla in Kim's divorce case, and we've learned Myla has a lot to say about what Kris told her about his relationship with his famous estranged wife.

In addition to the sex tape, sources tell us Myla has numerous text messages in which Kris says she is the love of his life and he wants to get the divorce over with quickly so they can spend the rest of their time on earth together. In several of the messages, we're told Kris says specifically that he's "moved on" from Kim.

The information is extremely damaging to Kris, because he's alleging in his divorce that Kim has destroyed him emotionally by allegedly defrauding him into believing it was a real marriage. Turns out, Kris has been banging Myla since mid-January, so his devastation argument may be hard to swallow.

Sources close to the Kardashians tell TMZ ... Kris is lying about the sex tape. They say Kim made it clear at the beginning of their relationship she would not discuss the tape because she didn't want to be judged by it. Our sources say the sex tape never came up in any subsequent discussions between Kim and Kris and it just shows he's delusional.

Kris Humphries hasn't burned ALL of his Kardashian bridges -- it seems he still has a friend in Khloe ... who insists her sister's estranged husband is a "good guy."

Khloe was leaving La Scala in Beverly Hills yesterday when we asked how she felt about Kris' extortion case with his ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj.

Khloe -- who seemed pretty concerned about Humphries -- replied, "Well, that shouldn't happen to anyone ... Kris is a good guy."

We asked Khloe if she thought Kris and Myla really had a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship ... Khloe shot back, "I don't know who [Kris is] f**king, it's just not my sister, that's all I know."

A picture of a naked woman scarfing down a meal and looking suspiciously like Kim Kardashian was posted on Twitter last night ... and word circulated Kanye West was the one who originally tweeted it.

We've done our due diligence, and here's what we found. First, the woman in the pic appears to be porn star Amia Miley. Miley tweeted the same photo of herself on her twitter account in 2011, and she tells us it's her. She also says she's never hooked up with Kanye.

Second, although the pic has been sent around with credit to Kanye, we've learned it was never posted on Kanye's account. A source close to Kanye confirms ... he didn't do it.

We're told it's all part of #WanksterWednesday -- a prank day where people try to get bogus rumors started.

Nonetheless ... we likey the pic.

1:24 PM PT: Kanye's rep just emailed us a statement, claiming the pic is NOT Kim K -- saying, "This phantom tweet never occurred on his account. This is obviously the desperate, sad act of someone seeking to gain media exposure by exploiting Kanye’s notoriety."

The rep adds, "Kanye doesn’t even know this person, has never seen this picture, and hasn’t been on his Twitter account for a day.”

Khloe Kardashian wants a baby bad, and we've learned she's undergoing fertility treatment.

Sources connected with Khloe and Lamar Odom tell TMZ ... they have tried in vain for months to get pregnant. So Khloe went to ART Reproductive Center in Bev Hills Monday ... to start the process.

With Kim Kardashian by her side for moral support, Khloe gave up some blood so the docs could evaluate her hormone levels. She's waiting for the results, and will then get a stylized treatment program.

Our sources say fertility treatment has been a long time coming -- they were going to start the process while living in Dallas, but distractions with Lamar's BB career put everything on ice.

The Kardashian sisters did NOT sell bogus diet pills to millions of gullible consumers ... they just coaxed 'em into buying them -- this according to new legal docs, obtained by TMZ.

Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian just filed their response to a $5 million lawsuit that accuses them of peddling lies to the public about the diet pill QuickTrim. The product's main ingredient is caffeine, which the FDA has decided is not an effective weight-loss drug.

But Kim & Ko. are now firing back -- claiming they're NOT the sellers of QuickTrim, they're just the pretty faces promoting the product ... so they shouldn't be held responsible for QuickTrim's lies.

What does the woman who has everything get the man who has everything for his birthday? If you're Kim Kardashian, you buy your boyfriend Kanye West a rare $750,000 Lamborghini. Ball so hard!

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ ... Kim purchased the Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 in L.A. for her new BF, who's celebrating his 35th birthday today. But Kanye can't play with it yet because he's in Ireland on the Watch the Throne tour.

So we're told Kim wanted to give him a taste of his gift -- so she took a video of the car to show him ... and we're told she's screening the video in person tonight on the Emerald Isle.

Kris Humphries' new woman is already taking swipes at her man's famous ex -- claiming Kim Kardashian's stepdad Bruce Jenner's face "scares me."

Myla Sinanaj has been tweeting constantly since she began dating Humphries in mid-January -- frequently about Kim and the men in her life. Just a couple weeks ago, she unloaded on Bruce, writing, "Bruce Jenner's face scares me- it should be on the 'Why not to get plastic surgery' poster."

A month earlier, Myla targeted Kim's new man Kanye West and his diss track "Theraflu" -- in which Kanye raps, "And I admit I fell in love with Kim ... 'Round the same time she fell in love with him ... That's cool, babygirl, do your thing ... Lucky I ain't had Jay drop him from the team."

Myla wrote, Kanye should be "bigger than taking petty shots at sh*t that got nothing to do with him. Lost respect."

But when it comes to Kim herself -- Myla put the claws away, re-tweeting a pic of Kim with the caption, "Looks like JLO."

We're guessing that's a compliment.

Her daughter is dating him, but the question remains ... can Kris Jenner name one Kanye West song?

Lamar Odom the basketball player and Lamar Odom the reality star are two completely separate people and he likes to keep it that way ... but maybe he should think about merging the two.

Our photog spotted the former Los Angeles Laker out in L.A. yesterday and asked him if Kris Jenner (mega-manager that she is) is handling his basketball career. Lamar explained, "Those are two separate entities -- the basketball player and the guy that's on reality TV ... She handles the reality star."

An interesting statement from L.O. because when he and Khloe pulled the plug on their reality show ... he claimed he was going to focus on his basketball career. Not a good move on Lamar's part to say he's still in the reality TV world ... if he's serious about having a team take him seriously.