The Kardashians

Kim Kardashian's mini-me gave birth this weekend -- LIVE on stage -- complete with Mini Kanye and even a mini-baby ... yes, that's possible.

Just hours after the real Kim gave birth ... Mini Kim pretended to pinch out a baby of her own during Beacher's Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood Saturday night.

The lil cast included a little person playing lil K&K's baby girl -- and the real Kim K's real BFF, Jonathan Cheban, just happened to be in attendance to deliver the kid.

Mini mazel.

Kim Kardashian and her brand new baby girl are both "doing great" ... and the kid is friggin' BEAUTIFUL ... this according to Kris Jenner.

Just one day after Kim gave birth, her mom Kris hit the red carpet at the 40th Annual Daytime Emmys in Beverly Hills yesterday and talked about the newest addition to the Kardashian family.

"We're all fine ... we're all good ... and extremely happy and thrilled for the new baby," Kris told HLN’s Showbiz Tonight. ... "She's doing great and she's beautiful."

Kim Kardashian has given birth to a baby girl ... TMZ has learned.

Source close to KK tell TMZ ... it was a NATURAL CHILD BIRTH. She started having contractions Friday night and went into full labor early Saturday AM.

Our sources tell us the baby and Kim are both in good health. We're told Kim delivered the baby at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center this morning ... 5 weeks early.

Our sources say BF Kanye West was there for the entire thing -- in the delivery room by Kim's side. We're told Kanye cancelled his appearance at his own record release party last night when Kim told him she was feeling "a little off."

It is the first child for Kim and Kanye.

Kim Kardashian's bff Jonathan Cheban -- a regular on "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" -- found himself in the middle of an airport emergency when a woman on his plane threatened to stab him with a knife.

Cheban was flying from JFK to LAX -- when a woman on his flight tweeted at him, "Jonathan Cheban is on my flight, should I cut him with my weapon?"

She added in another tweet, "I gotta pretty intense pocket knife with mehhh."

Cheban, a former PR exec, responded, "Police?"

When the plane landed at LAX, the woman was escorted off by police and subsequently detained. We're told cops were deeply concerned about her claim that she got a knife through airport security.

She later tried to bury the hatchet, tweeting back at Cheban, "It was a bad joke ... you look really hot babe." But airport police weren't taking any chances.

Police searched the woman outside the plane and determined she did NOT actually have a knife. She was subsequently released without further incident.

Cheban tells TMZ, he never personally alerted authorities -- someone else reported the tweets -- but later in Bev Hills he admitted the incident was very "scary."

Rob Kardashian's topless paparazzi drama is officially over -- the judge has officially dismissed the charges against RK for allegedly attacking a female snapper who took shirtless pics of him back in March.

We broke the story ... RK was charged with battery and theft after Andra Viak claimed an angry Rob got physcial with her and swiped her memory card when she took photos of the 26-year-old leaving a West Hollywood gym without a shirt.

Besides the criminal charges -- Viak sued Rob over the incident ... but she dropped the lawsuit last week when Kardashian agreed to pay for the camera equipment.

The only remaining formality was those 2 misdemeanor charges ... but Andra didn't want to pursue them ... and today, the judge officially dismissed the case.

They've both achieved international fame, both are extremely powerful, and both have their fair share of controversies -- but don't you DARE compare the Kardashian family to the Kennedys ... so says Robert F. Kennedy's daughter.

Kerry Kennedy -- a major human rights activist -- was out in D.C. yesterday when we asked how Kim K and the rest of the Kardashian squad could build a lasting family legacy like the Kennedys.

Kerry's response -- LAUGHTER ... followed by, "Are you comparing the Kennedys to the Kardashians?" ... followed by more laughter.

Sure, the Kardashians might be lacking in the accomplishment department, but they're also trailing when it comes to national scandals.

Kerry told us her family isn't worried about branding -- they just want to "serve" the American people.

Kanye West's swollen forehead has been avenged! The sign that took him down has been sentenced to hanging ... a few feet higher than before. Celebrity ... justice?

Kim Kardashian did her best to keep the goings on inside her baby shower yesterday a secret, but she failed to wrangle her crazy Aunt Karen ... who blabbed all about the party to the paps ... but some of what she said was just plain wrong.

Karen Haughton, who is Kris Jenner's sister, clearly had a good time and was as chatty as can be as she made her way out. She struck up conversations with photogs and posed for pics with fans ... all while she spilled details of what went on inside.

Karen -- who may have had a mimosa or 2 -- had a couple of teeny-weeny facts wrong:

-- She said the guests scored Rolexes as shower gifts (not true)
-- Kanye and Kim are the same height (not true)
-- She says she ate cake, and then seconds later said there was no cake, just cookies

Bruce Jenner's memory is disappearing faster than Kim's figure ... because the Kardashian patriarch has met Kanye West SEVERAL times, despite claiming he's only met the rapper once -- and Kim is pissed at her stepdad for saying it.

We've done our research -- and came up with at least FOUR different occasions where Bruce and Kanye were both present ... Kourtney's baby shower in May 2012, a taping of "X Factor" in November 2012, a Clippers game in December 2012, and the Kardashian family Christmas party.

The photographic evidence contradicts what Bruce told Extra this weekend ... that he only met Kanye once in his entire life, saying, "[Kanye is] not around."

We're told Kim's upset with her 63-year-old stepdad ... because Bruce makes it sound like Kanye doesn't care about the family.

And here's a clue that maybe Bruce isn't so into Kanye -- back in April, 2012, he said he was "not that excited" when Kim started dating the rapper ... because he felt Kim was rushing into a new relationship too quickly after leaving Kris Humphries.

That stupid, red parking sign that bashed Kanye West in the face last month will NEVER HURT ANYONE AGAIN ... 'cause it's just been raised WAAYYY above head-bashing range, TMZ has learned.

The sign (sporting a 1-0 record in street fights) ... famously K.O.'d Mr. West back in May when the rapper was trying to walk to a nearby restaurant while shielding his face from the paparazzi.

Kanye went BALLISTIC after the sign attack ... and unleashed a legendary screaming, running, angry tirade at the photogs.

Now, we've learned the people who own the property have decided to take action -- raising the sign by several feet ... so it towers over any regular-sized person.

Of course, it's possible the sign-owners made the move to prevent a future lawsuit ... but as for Kanye, we're told he hasn't made any sort of legal threat since the incident.

Bottom line -- the streets of Bev Hills are now safe for walkers ... unless you're a giant.

Here's a glowing Kim Kardashian in the middle of nearly flashing her pregnant goods in Santa Monica on Wednesday (left) -- and the now infamous and controversial JCPenney tea kettle (right).

All hail, Kim Kardashian.

Looking like the latest Kardashian TV show spin-off, movie director M. Night Shyamalan brought along his gorgeous brunette wife and three daughters to the premiere of "After Earth" in New York City on Wednesday.

While the 42-year-old "The Sixth Sense" filmmaker has not revealed any plans to exploit his beautiful brood by having a bunch of cameras follow them around documenting every single scripted scenario, you never know what kind of last minute twist M. Night might have up his sleeve.

A wardrobe malfunction turned Kim Kardashian into the brunette Marilyn Monroe.

While walking around Santa Monica in flats on Wednesday, the pregnant 32-year-old let a breeze get the best of her maternity dress ... and almost flashed more than just her baby bump.

Although she's no stranger to showing off the goods, Kanye West's baby mama recovered in time to make sure the photo was rated PG.

Even when she attempts to keep her maternity style casual, Kim can't help but make a spectacle.'

Rob Kardashian has settled with the photog who accused him of robbery -- stealing her camera equipment -- and this will almost certainly mean the end of the criminal case against Rob.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... Rob has agreed to pay Andra Viak the value of the camera equipment.

TMZ broke the story ... Viak was waiting for Rob in the parking garage at a West Hollywood gym in March and when Rob started taking his clothes off she started taking pics. Rob then grabbed her camera's memory card and kept it.

Prosecutors charged Rob with battery and petty theft. There was a hearing in court today and the lawyers told the judge a civil settlement had been reached.

Our sources say Viak is now satisfied and doesn't want to pursue the criminal case. It's pretty much a formality that the judge will end the matter without prosecution.

It's the closest thing to a Kardashian family sex tape you'll ever get ... a K-fam porn spoof -- and everyone from Kim to Kris ... and even Khloe are getting the XXX treatment.

TMZ has learned ... porn star Kiara Mia -- star of "Bra Busters 4" and "Shrimp Fried P****" -- is taking on the Kardashian fam in her directorial debut ... a parody of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."

We're told there are no plans to mock Kim's infamous sex tape with Ray J in the film -- but a Ray-J-alike will make an appearance during a sex scene between not-Kim and not-Kanye.

A porn star playing a porn star -- doesn't get more meta than that.

Frances Bean Cobain ended one war with Kendall Jenner, but then started another ... calling KJ a self-absorbed rich kid who complains about her problems on Twitter to get attention.

The war of words started earlier this week when Frances called Kendall a "f**king idiot" after Kendall complained on Twitter that she wished "things could be easier sometimes" -- Frances taking offense to someone as well off as Kendall complaining about life to total strangers.

Kendall responded rather eloquently, saying she was aware she is "very privileged and blessed" but asking, "who are u to judge me?"

Well it took Frances a few days to consider that question, and last night she apologized (sort of) by saying "I don't know you nor do I think ur a bad person" ... while also slamming Kendall again by writing, "Publicly complaining about how hard your life is is completely self serving ... I believe that venting about ones problems via the Internet is a blatant cry for attention. "

She also offered this piece of advice, which also served as another insult toward Kendall: "I try to deal w/ pain in a manner that pertains to my real life not in a way where strangers throw me a pity party."

So we ask ...