Weird News

It's almost incomprehensible ... James Woods' infamous "OOH A PIECE OF CANDY" joke on "Family Guy" was nearly a bust ... because he tells TMZ, he didn't think it was all that funny when he did it ... at first.

Woods -- who said he loved playing himself on FG "more than anything you can imagine" -- tells us, the joke just didn't make any sense ... and then it occurred to him ... that was kinda the point.

And the candy joke is just the tip of the iceberg ... Woods says some of the stuff that went on backstage with Seth MacFarlane should've landed him in jail.

Check out the -- OOH A PIECE OF CANDY!

He got laughs from coast to coast ... to make us smile ... but now Bob Saget tells TMZ there's one clip that ran on "America's Funniest Home Videos" that he tried to BLOCK from the show.

Saget -- who hosted the show from 1989 to 1997 -- was leaving LAX yesterday when we asked if there was ever a hilarious clip that producers would NOT allow him to show.

Saget's response -- "I think it was more that I wanted to NOT show, if I recall."

So, what's the clip that crossed the line with Bob? We THINK we located it on YouTube based on Saget's description ... and he's right, it's pretty gross.

We got WWE superstar John Cena to reveal his pre-Wrestlemania ritual -- which involves a lot of shaving. So, win or lose ... he'll definitely be the smoothest guy in the ring!

Ewww.

John Cena and The Rock are 2 days from squaring off for the WWE championship belt in Wrestlemania 29, but TMZ found another competition going down today -- WING-OFF 1 ... there will be bones!

We got pics of 3 WWE stars ... Yoshi Tatsu, JTG, and the Great Khali doing battle over 3 massive platters of hot wings at the Chili's in Hoboken, NJ.

We're told Khali choked down the most wings before the other 2 guys had to tap out.

Even more amazing -- we're told the enormous meals only set 'em back $40 ... and all 3 hit the gym afterward.

Kim Kardashian was faced with a choice the likes of which haven't been faced since Sophie -- papas or paparazzi.

Kim joined her sisters for what was supposed to be a delicious lunch at Casa Vega in the Valley Thursday ... but the pesky pappers were blocking her entrance and wouldn't follow instructions to "MAKE A HOLE!"

As the smells of the fried burritos and chimichangas wafted to her waiting SUV, Kim made the hardest decision since agreeing to let Ray J really have his way ... She left.

Most guys dream of being a fireman or a football player when they grow up ... our NYC photog has always wanted to be the bait meat in a "To Catch a Predator" sex sting ... and yesterday he finally got his shot!

It all went down on the streets of New York, when "TCAP" honcho Chris Hansen stopped to talk to us about his favorite moments from the NBC show ... and (shocker) they involved nudity.

But the best part of the clip -- when our guy makes his desperate plea to "be the guy who lures the guy in" ... HILARIOUS.

It's about damn time New Jersey banned children from tanning -- at least without parental permission -- this according to the face of the biggest underage tanning scandal in history.

Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil got emotional on the street yesterday ... telling TMZ, she fully supports Governor Chris Christie's new "Tan Mom Law" that bans anyone under 17 from going to tanning salons without a parental stamp of approval.

Patricia tells us, "I don't think children ever should tan ... I believe that it should be something that's spoken about and now it's been rectified after I went through a year of mockery for something I never would do and did not do."

Quick recap: Patricia was arrested last year on child endangerment charges after being accused of putting her 5-year-old in a tanning booth. Patricia denied the charges from the beginning, and a grand jury opted not to indict her.

Al Roker's underwear can breathe a huge sigh of relief, because he returned to the White House -- scene of his now infamous shart -- and made a clean escape!

That we know of ...

Maria Shriver has no plans to take down those pesky Christmas lights ... even though it's ALREADY APRIL ... telling TMZ, they're way more than just Christmas lights.

TMZ broke the story ... Maria's neighbors have been complaining about the unseasonal decorations outside her Brentwood home, saying they're an eyesore. (TMZ shot video of the lights last week ... and they really do stick out like a sore thumb).

But Maria tells a slightly different story ... and says the lights represent something much deeper than a single holiday, which is why they're still up.

Or maybe she's just making excuses.

What's "Sesame Street" to do when the man who used to voice Elmo gets embroiled in an underage sex scandal? Find someone who is just as androgynous as Elmo to replace him.

TMZ was at the White House Easter Egg Roll today where the new person doing the voice of Elmo was there to entertain the children.

Not trying to be rude, just being honest ... we don't know if it's a guy or a girl.

You have to wonder if the "Sesame Street" people made this choice on purpose ... since Kevin Clash, the guy who used voice Elmo, lost his job after accusations of underage sex with boys.

But don't get too attached to the new voice actor (or actress) ... a rep for Sesame Workshop tells us the puppeteer is just a temp ... because "no decision has been made for a permanent replacement as of yet."

7:20 AM PT -- The mystery is solved!!!! The person who does the voice is Ryan Dillon ... and it's ... a ... MAN!!!

Paris Hilton is no Kardashian abductor ... in fact, she tells TMZ the leaked Ford print ad that shows her kidnapping Kim's family is "stupid" 'cause they're still good friends.

Ms. Hilton was signing autographs for fans at LAX this weekend when she was asked how she felt about the controversy stemming from the ad ... which depicted Paris driving off with Kim, Khloe and Kourtney tied up in the back of a Ford Figo.

Paris blew the whole thing off ... calling the situation "ridiculous" and "stupid" -- but the most shocking part was how she described her relationship with Kim ... considering they had a huge falling out a while back.

Put this in your trivia pipe and smoke it -- what's former MTV veejay Carson Daly's favorite music video of all time?

We got the answer straight from Carson in NYC, aaand ... you'll have to watch the clip to find out.

But here's a hint: The video in question was banned from TV upon its release in 2000 because of its depiction of violence against women, and its nudity.

The full unedited version of the video aired in 2002 as part of a "Most Controversial Videos" countdown ... it ranked #1.

A bunch of farmers want to crush Matthew Perry's "Field of Dreams" -- as in the famous baseball diamond -- because they think it will end their dreams ... of crop dusting.

Just last month, the former "Friends" star joined an investment group (Go the Distance Baseball, LLC) that is planning to build a national youth baseball and softball tournament and training campus on land next to the field made famous by Kevin Costner's movie.

But locals are crying foul -- the Residential & Agricultural Advisory Committee thinks the project will prevent farmers from hauling manure ... and make it next to impossible to move farming vehicles and complete aerial spraying ... aka crop dusting.

They also think increased traffic will cause noise pollution in the area.

Now the group has fired off a letter to Perry claiming, "It is no exaggeration to say that our very way of life is at risk."

TIME magazine is offering a limp excuse for its new Grumpy Cat photo spread -- telling TMZ the fact that it appears to be a flagrant and shameless rip-off of some lesser known feline photos is a total coincidence.

The other spread -- featuring an Internet celeb cat named Lil Bub -- first appeared in Bullett Magazine back in October. The TIME piece ran last week.

And the similarities are glaring -- down to the actual poses and the matching pink backgrounds.

The people at Bullett are understandably pissed, telling us, "Inspiration is one thing, but some of these photos are nearly identical. If it was indeed a copycat, it shouldn't have happened in the first place."

The art director behind the Bullett piece adds, "It's not about the money. It's more the lack of journalistic integrity and general laziness, the mere audacity that they thought no one would notice.”

For TIME's part, the mag's rep would only call the similarities "a complete coincidence."

All that monkeying around has finally caught up with Justin Bieber (literally) after officials in Germany confiscated his monkey because Biebs didn't have the proper paperwork.

Bieber arrived at the Munich airport on Thursday and was confronted about the monkey when he went through customs. Since Bieber didn't have the proper documentation for the monkey (and you know how Germans about having your papers in order) they took the monkey into quarantine.

It appears the monkey was a recent gift from record producer Mally Mall, who tweeted the above photo earlier in the week with a caption, "OG MALLY FIRST PIC WITH HIS POPS @JUSTINBIEBER."