You Might Want to Rethink

One L.A. parking enforcer just bought himself a one-way ticket to the naughty list ... 'cause he GAVE SANTA CLAUS A PARKING TICKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Claus -- who must have been letting all the reindeer rest before their upcoming gig -- parked his sedan at a meter in downtown L.A. Thursday ... while he ran some last minute Xmas errands in his classic red suit.

Enter the Grinch -- a.k.a. parking-ticket-man -- who noticed Santa's meter was expired, and slapped him with a ticket soooo fast ... even the elves were stunned (and everyone knows elves are fast).

According to an eye-witness on scene ... Santa tried desperately to get out of the fine ... but no cigar.

We're told the shop wanted $10k for the shoes ... but Chad managed to haggle his way down to a reasonable $8k.

It's a helluva deal -- considering rapper Tinie Tempah dropped $37,500 on a pair of the Nike kicks during a charity auction for the Michael J. Fox Foundation last year.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is partying like it's 1942 ... so says his new haircut.

The Guv was leaving some event in NYC on Thursday, when he showed off his shorter new 'do -- which at first actually looks pretty decent ... but then takes a turn for the worse once the weirdly buzzed sides and interesting dye job meet to reveal an unfortunate bald spot.

When it comes to hair fashion, Arnie will always be number ein.

Calls to Michael Jordan's mustache were not returned.

Katt Williams claims the reason he pimp-slapped a Target employee in the face last month is because the guy called him the n-word ... and TMZ has video of Katt's explanation.

Katt was performing last night at the Comedy Store in Hollywood when he described what went down immediately before the November 25th attack in Sacramento -- telling the audience, "This is what the dude at Target said ... 'Your assistant is already suing you, you p**sy ass n***er."

The jab is a reference to this lawsuit -- in which Katt's former assistant is suing him for $5 million, claiming the comic punched her.

Katt said he flipped when he heard the slur and asked the employee, "Did you just say the n-word in front of Katt Williams?" -- to which the employee answered, "You say it all the time."

Katt says he shot back, "Say it again and see what happens" -- and that's when he knocked the guy upside the head.

Katt then compared his racism plight to that of Dave Chappelle, explaining, "That's the same sh*t that drove [Chappelle] out of the f***ing business."

Katt seems to be alluding to Chappelle's claim that he quit his Comedy Central show and went into seclusion over an argument with producers about a sketch that he believed was racist.

As we reported, the Target employee -- a guy named Forrest Liebenberg -- was fired from his job shortly after the incident. Target wouldn't explain why. Multiple calls to Liebenberg weren't returned.

A confused Kristen Stewart must have thought she was walking the worst ever Victoria's Secret runway show, because she showed up to the NYC premiere of "On the Road" in this bizarre retro bra and panty sheer paneled dress thing last night.

Although the hot neon Christian Louboutin heels are fierce -- but perhaps slightly too big -- they do nothing for the unfortunate Erdem smock.

While KStew is back with Robert Pattinson, she may now want to break up with her stylist and re-issue her infamous apology, "I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected."

On a positive note, at least the 22-year-old can finally say "Twilight" is no longer the worst thing she's ever been in.

Two Mexican police officers have been ARRESTED -- after officials say they stole items from the Jenni Rivera plane crash site.

According to government officials, at least one of the cops is suspected of leaking crash scene photographs to the media ... including shots of body parts and personal documents.

Officials say investigators searched the homes of the alleged crooked cops ... and found items belonging to some of the victims.

One of the cops is 23 years old ... the other is 24.

Corrupt cops in Mexico? Who'da thunk it.

11:20 AM PT -- A rep for the Mexican Consulate in L.A. tells TMZ ... "We have over 2,000,000 police officers [in Mexico], and unfortunately some of these officers have been corrupt in the past, but we cannot generalize that the whole force is corrupt."

The rep adds, "Mexico has been working very hard to make their citizens and tourists safe, however it is not fair to judge the whole tree based upon a few bad apples."

9:26 AM PT -- A rep for the Nobel Institute is now essentially calling out Sarah's people. The rep tells TMZ, "This individual (the shoplifter) is NOT an employee of and has no connection to the Nobel Institute, which awards the Peace Prize and presents the Peace Prize Concert. She is a freelance make-up artist who was contracted by an outside agency that specialized in that area."

8:00 AM PT -- A rep for Sarah tells us the culprit was NOT SJP's assistant, and was not on her payroll ... but was traveling as part of Sarah's entourage.

A source connected to Sarah claims the alleged shoplifter was actually working for the Nobel Peace Prize. SJP was in Oslo to host a concert for the organization.

If you were flying from Oslo, Norway to NYC on United today ... you would be plenty pissed off, because the plane was delayed for an hour while police dealt with a little shoplifting incident involving Sarah Jessica Parker's assistant.

Sources who work at the airport tell TMZ ... Sarah -- seen above arriving at the United terminal -- and her entourage were ready to board the plane when they were confronted by cops, who were called after an airport shop owner claimed one of Sarah's minions pilfered a pair of expensive sunglasses.

Police blocked the assistant from boarding and worked out a settlement of sorts -- a fine of $1,400, which was paid on the spot. We're told Sarah and the assistant then got on board and the plane took off.

WHEN WILL IT STOP??? Just days after bitch-slapping a Target employee last week, Katt Williams unleashed microphone fury on an unsuspecting audience member, knocking the man upside the head with his mouthpiece ... HARD ... and TMZ has video of the attack.

Katt was performing at the Paramount Theater in Seattle last Friday at the time -- and judging from the video, Katt was upset because the victim was recording his show.

Katt subsequently addressed the audience saying, "It could happen to you. Record me and see what happens to you. Go home and get your raggedy pistol and bring it back. I already got mine."

The victim -- a man named Carlos Casto-Lino -- has since filed a $250,000 lawsuit against Katt and the theater ... claiming Katt gave him a concussion and left him with contusions on his head.

No, this is not a picture from a gangster movie ... it's Korean rapper Psy puffing a cigarette in the back of his car -- right BEFORE watching his new-found American fame almost go up in smoke.

Psy looked cool as a cucumber out in NYC on Thursday ... just hours before footage unearthed, which showed the rapper at a concert back in 2004 singing "Kill those f-ing Yankees" and smashing toy American tanks.

Psy apologized as soon as the news broke, claiming the concert was years ago and his words were a reaction to the Iraq war.

Psy is scheduled to perform in front of President Obama on Sunday and petitions (which have since been pulled down) were reportedly circulating earlier today in an effort to ban the rapper from performing in front of POTUS.

The White House confirmed Sunday afternoon that Psy will perform as scheduled.

PSY -- the pop singer behind the hit "Gangnam Style" -- says he "will forever be sorry" for performing a song in 2004 that called for the killing of "Yankees" ... and is begging for Americans to accept his apology.

The song in question was called, "Dear Americans" ... and featured the lyrics, "Kill those f*cking Yankees who have been torturing Iraqi captives."

He continues, "Kill those f---ing Yankees who ordered them to torture ... Kill their daughters, mothers, daughters-in-law and fathers ... Kill them all slowly and painfully.”

Now, PSY has released a statement explaining, "The song I featured on in question from eight years ago -- was part of a deeply emotional reaction to the war in Iraq and the killing of two Korean schoolgirls that was part of the overall antiwar sentiment shared by others around the world at that time. While I’m grateful for the freedom to express one's self, I’ve learned there are limits to what language is appropriate and I’m deeply sorry for how these lyrics could be interpreted. I will forever be sorry for any pain I have caused by those words."

Read the whole statement after the jump ...

With a functioning bathroom just feet away, "Savages" star Emile Hirsch relieved himself outside a West Hollywood nightclub last night ... surrounded by strangers ... directly onto an innocent cactus.

AND HIS FACE IS PRICELESS.

Hirsch was outside Bootsy Bellows nightclub on the famous Sunset Strip -- along with his trusty red Solo cup -- when nature called ... and clearly ... the guy didn't feel like waiting in line to use the club's restroom. (It happens to the best of us.)

Former "General Hospital" star Senait Ashenafi is the passenger from hell -- TMZ has learned, she was arrested at a Dallas airport for public intoxication last weekend ... after allegedly raising a drunken ruckus on board an airplane.

According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, 46-year-old Ashenafi was arrested at DFW airport when police determined she was so drunk ... she was a danger to herself and others.

Sources on board the airplane tell us, Ashenafi threw a fit while everyone was boarding because she was stuck in coach ... instead of first class.

We're told she was also pissed her carry-on luggage had been relegated to the back of the plane due to limited overhead space.

According to the police report, Ashenafi allegedly even pushed a flight attendant during her temper tantrum.

The airplane's crew kicked Ashenafi off the aircraft and cops met her on the jetway. According to the report, they immediately noticed the smell of alcohol on Ashenafi's breath.

Officers then escorted her off the jetway and placed her under arrest for public intoxication.

Kelsey Grammer's 4-month-old baby doesn't just party at the Playboy mansion ... she also dangerously rides in vehicles WITHOUT A CAR SEAT ... and it was all caught on tape.

Kelsey and his wife Kayte arrived at LAX yesterday with their adorable (and fragile) baby daughter Faith ... when they were met by a waiting chauffeured SUV.

But as Kayte was about to enter the car with the kid, she realized there was no car seat in the SUV ... but she got in the car with the baby anyway.

Kayte seatbelted herself in the car, and with the baby cradled against her chest, the car took off ... a clear violation of the California car seat law.

We're assuming the baby made it home unfazed ... but according to various safety organizations, it's a STUPID risk to transport your newborn without a proper child safety seat ... considering car seats can significantly reduce the risk of injury in an accident.

Of course, Britney Spears took all sorts of heat when she drove around with her baby in her LAP several years ago.

Kelsey's rep, Stan Rosenfield, insists there was a car seat inside the vehicle ... though there's no evidence of that in this video.

You'd have to be CRAZY to go on camera and unload on the LAPD ... talking about how much you HATE them. Well, just call Travis Barker crazy.

As TMZ first reported, Barker was pulled over by the LAPD last month -- for the second time in a year -- and he believes it was because of his tatted-up appearance.

When we asked Barker about the situation last night in Beverly Hills, he told our photog, "I f**king hate the police," and then continued to rail on law enforcement.

Question: What kind of dumbass packs a freaking grenade in his carry-on ... and accidentally tries to take it onto a plane? Answer: Flaming Lips singer Wayne Coyne. And he shut down an Oklahoma City airport in the process.

The grenade wasn't live -- thankfully -- but according to the police report, Coyne still accidentally packed it in his bag on November 10th and triggered an alarm at the TSA checkpoint at Will Rogers airport ... like a dumbass.

Needless to say, TSA freaked ... and shut down the terminal while officers frantically tried to figure out how to handle the situation.

And how's this for hilarious -- according to the police report, the TSA ran around like a chicken with its head cut off ... because it didn't have any "bomb guys" on duty. (Editor's note: isn't that the whole point of TSA?)

According to reports, Coyne was flying to LAX to catch a preview of the new Flaming Lips musical "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots" -- and told police he was given the dead grenade at a party as a joke.

Shocker, the grenade reportedly resulted in several missed flights ... and lots of wasted money -- but once TSA determined it was harmless, they let Coyne go.

Coyne tweeted following the incident to make up for the SNAFU, writing, "Sorry Sorry Sorry!! Everyone that was inconvenienced by my grenade at OKC airport."

You're a 20-year-old female pop star and you've just broken up with a famous fella ... who better to understand what you're going through better than the Queen of Breakups ... Taylor Swift.

Yes, Selena Gomez shared a meal in L.A. last night with the woman who has famously been linked and then unlinked with the likes of Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Cory Monteith, Toby Hemingway, Jake Gyllenhaal, Zac Efron, Garrett Hedlund, Eddie Redmayne, Harry Styles and Conor Kennedy.