Brooklyn Nets

THIS. IS. FUNNY!!!!

'Memba when Nets player Andray Blatche was shuttin' down that big-assed woman in Bev Hills last week?? Well, Lakers star Nick Young sure does ... and last night, he REENACTED the whole scene.

Young was out in front of the Roosevelt Hotel when he brought up the TMZ Sports video featuring a drunken Blatche trying to duck a thirsty jock-chaser like his life depended on it.

So, in an obvious tribute to his former Washington Wizards teammate ... Young and a friend acted out the moment right in the street -- it's pretty damn hilarious.

Ya gotta watch the clip.

This video is HILARIOUS -- a pretty hammered Brooklyn Nets player getting smothered by a hot chick with a big ass in the middle of the day -- and he wants NONE OF IT!!!!!

The NBA player is Andray Blatche -- who hit up Crustacean in Beverly Hills with a girl named Sandrina Smith ... and it's clear, they had been indulging in a few cocktails. Ok, a LOT of cocktails.

But the best part of the clip ... when Sandrina grabbed him around the waist and tried to get him to admit they have some sort of relationship -- Blatche bobs and weaves like a young Cassius Clay!!

You just gotta watch the video -- if they are together, he might be sleepin' on the couch tonight!

To the victor go the spoils ... just ask Russell Wilson, who's sitting courtside at the Brooklyn Nets game with Beyonce and Jay Z.

With the Super Bowl just days away, Seattle Seahawks superstar Richard Sherman took a break from hardcore preparation ... to unwind at a Brooklyn Nets game with some of his teammates.

Sherman -- along with linebacker Bobby Wagner -- got the complete VIP treatment at the Barclay Center Monday night to watch the Nets take on the Toronto Raptors.

The Hawks didn't just get to hang out in a pimped out VIP suite, they also got to kick it courtside for a while ... where they had seats right near Michael Strahan.

We're told the people at the stadium went all out for their guest stars -- treating the guys to all the Skittles they could eat and a special guest visit with the Brooklynettes dancers.

In the end, the Nets couldn't quite switch into Beast Mode ... and lost to the Raptors 104-103.

Former NBA star Jason Kidd just pled guilty to drunk driving in New York ... but the Brooklyn Nets coach won't spend a single day behind bars.

As we previously reported, Kidd was arrested on July 15, 2012 ... after crashing his Cadillac SUV into a telephone poll around 2am. Cops say he reeked of booze.

In the hours leading up to the crash, Kidd was partying at a club and appeared so drunk, he had to be carried out of the place.

This morning, Kidd pleaded guilty to one count of misdemeanor DWI (driving while intoxicated) ... and was placed on interim probation. Kidd was also ordered to speak to high school students in Long Island about the dangers of driving drunk.

FYI -- "interim probation" is a voluntary version of regular probation. Bottom line -- if Kidd violates his probation, the judge can still throw his ass in jail.

NBA superstar Paul Pierce tells TMZ ... just because he left Boston doesn't mean his career's over -- he wants to play another TEN YEARS in the league!!

35-year-old Pierce was leaving a grocery store in L.A. with a bunch of water (it's important to hydrate) when we asked how he felt about being traded from the Celtics to the Brooklyn Nets this late in his prolific career.

Paul's reaction was CLASSIC -- "Who says it's the end of my career? I plan on playing ten more years dude."

We're not saying it's an impossible goal ... but it's gonna be pretty tough -- considering no one in the modern NBA era has played until the age of 45 (Dikembe Mutombo and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played until they were 42 and Kevin Willis was 44).

The nasty feud between Mark Cuban and Jason Kidd is officially OVER ... at least for now ... 'cause Mark tells TMZ the two have made up -- and have even started emailing each other again.

Cuban famously TRASHED Kidd in the media last year after Jason decided not to re-sign with Cuban's Dallas Mavericks ... and instead struck a deal with the NY Knicks.

Cuban had said he was "more than upset" with Kidd -- and said there was "no chance" he'd ever honor Jason by retiring his Mavs jersey.

But something happened over the last few months ... 'cause when we asked Mark how he felt about Jason landing the Brooklyn Nets head coaching job this week, M.C. told us:

"I'm excited for him. He has great knowledge on the game so I'm sure he will do well. And yes we have started emailing again so all is well with the world.”

Kris Humphries says claims made by his bitter ex-assistant in a recently filed lawsuit are about as real as he says his marriage to Kim Kardashian was ... i.e. bogus.

Kris is firing back in legal docs against a woman named Tracy Paradise who sued KH back in April. Tracy claimed she and Kris entered into a one-year contract, in which Kris agreed to pay her $75,000 (plus housing costs) in exchange for personal assistant services.

Problem is, Tracy says she worked for KH from February to September 2012, but was abruptly fired and never saw the rest of her cash.

She also says Kris' mom stole a bunch of items from her including a mountain bike, a Whistler's mug and a Magic Bullet blender. Random.

But Kris says Tracy got her facts wrong, claiming in docs, she was NEVER a contract employee and should ONLY get paid for hours clocked.

Second, he says he had a good reason for giving her the axe ... claiming she refused to relocate with him to New York. A pretty big deal breaker for a personal assistant.

As for the blender et al ... Kris says Tracy left the items behind in his Miami pad and there was a delay in returning them due to his busy travel schedule.

Kris Humphries might have walked away from his divorce from Kim Kardashian with squat ... but he still had enough green to go grocery shopping near his apartment in NYC this morning.

Brooklyn Nets guard Joe Johnson made it clear to a judge in Georgia -- postpone his baby mama trial until AFTER the NBA playoffs ... or risk angering the entire team's passionate fan base.

As TMZ first reported, Joe filed a suit against baby mama Shannon Beckton to be legally recognized as the father of their kid and share custody. The case was set to be heard between April 15 and May 5.

Like teammate Kris Humphries, that trial window was a BIG problem for Joe ... since the Nets made the playoffs and it could easily conflict with court times. To get the date moved, Joe explained to the judge he's a key member of the Nets and "a vital part of that team's success."

Joe also argued that his absence violate his contract (worth $126 million) and could seriously "harm" the Nets' championship dreams -- which would mean less cash for him and less cash for his kid.

The judge agreed and postponed the trial.

Kris Humphries -- who was once obsessed with proving to the world that Kim Kardashian was a love fraud -- now says he gave up his battle because of his love of BBall.

A rep for Kris tells TMZ, "Kris and his family are excited to move forward and are grateful for all the support they have received in this process."

The rep then sets the priorities straight: "His commitment to the Brooklyn Nets and the team's incredible fans is his number one priority and he is excited to head into the playoffs tomorrow with this situation behind him."

Kim Kardashian is officially a single woman ... because the judge dissolved her marriage to Kris Humphries in today's court hearing ... and we've learned Kris walked away with NOTHING.

Here's what sources connected with the case tell TMZ:

-- Kris gets NO money from Kim. As we've reported ... he had previously demanded $7 mil.

-- Kris dropped his demand for an annulment based on fraud.

-- Each party will pay their own attorney's fees.

This is not just a settlement. It's a WIN for Kim and her lawyer, disso-queen Laura Wasser.

The judge sent 2 different messages -- on the one hand saying the status of the marriage was dissolved, but then said it's over when they sign the official papers. But it seems like she's officially divorced, especially since the judge said to Kim, "Congratulations on your dissolution."

One final thing. The judge was about to slap Kris with a financial penalty for being a no-show at last week's hearing, but Kim asked the court to drop it, and Kris skated.

9:00 AM PT -- The judge just announced in court what we told you earlier today. The divorce case is settled. The terms have not been disclosed, but the big news for Humphries ... he won't have to pay any penalties for blowing off last week's settlement conference.

TMZ has learned Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian have settled their year-and-a-half long divorce battle, and it looks like it will be announced in court today ... this according to sources directly connected with Kris.

TMZ broke the story Thursday ... Kris had softened his position about demanding an annulment because his case had gone South -- in other words, there was no proof Kim committed fraud when she married him.

Our sources say Kris will not show up in court today. Sources connected with the bballer tell us ... he's with his team today, gearing up for the NBA playoffs. This is significant, because Kris was ordered to court -- a judge wants him there when he gets hit with fines for not showing up last week.

We're told Kim will show up.

As for the settlement, it's confidential so far, but you can bet this was a divorce and NOT an annulment.

To put this in perspective, the divorce battle raged on for 536 days. They were married for 72 days.

Kris Humphries has made Kim Kardashian's life miserable for the last year-and-a-half -- but Kim is actually excited to see him in court today ... and even says she still loves him.

Kim and Kris will face off in court for the first time since their split on Halloween weekend, 2011. They're in court for a settlement conference ... and as we reported it's possible they could strike an agreement before leaving the building.

Sources very close to Kim tell TMZ ... Kim is actually looking forward to seeing him. She's saying she does indeed still love him as a person, acknowledging, "We just didn't work as a couple."

We're told Kim has actually reached out to Kris numerous times, but he never responded.

Kim is saying they have "unfinished business" and need to talk things out so they can truly move on.

Who knows if it's possible? What we do know is that Kris has softened his position on demanding an annulment ... largely because he sees the handwriting on the wall -- that he's going to lose at trial. If he does, he'll almost certainly get socked with Kim's attorney's fees. The bill on both sides will approach $1 mil if they can't settle.

We'll be in court, so stay tuned.

4/19/2013 9:16 AM PT -- And now it's official ... Kim and Kris are officially divorced.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries could settle their never-ending divorce case as early as tomorrow ... TMZ has learned.

The fleeting lovebirds are both ordered to appear in court tomorrow for a settlement conference. The big hang-up is that Kris has been fighting for an annulment based on alleged fraud, and Kim has steadfastly refused to go down that road. She wants a clean, simple divorce.

Sources close to Kris say there are various factors that are softening his position, including:

-- There's an ironclad prenup, if the case goes to trial Kris will get NO money from Kim (although as we previously reported Kris has demanded $7 mil from her -- good luck with that).

-- After all the depositions and legal docs flying back and forth, no evidence has surfaced showing Kim defrauded Kris -- and that goes to the heart of his claim.

-- Kris is about to get nailed with monetary sanctions for being a no-show at the last hearing and, in the process, he's pissed off the judge who would be presiding over the divorce trial.

-- If the case goes to trial and Kris loses, he could be in the hole for as much as a million bucks in attorney's fees. Sources tell us each side has already racked up $300k in lawyer's fees, and they'll spend another $200k if the case goes to trial. We broke the story, if the case goes to trial and Kim wins, she'll ask the judge to make Kris pay HER lawyer's fees.

Our sources say it's by no means a done deal that the case is going to settle tomorrow, but as one source put it, "Kris is opening his eyes a little bit, and what he sees doesn't look good."

Kim Kardashian has undeniably had problems with males, but not mails ... because she just blocked Kris Humphries from getting his hands on her personal writings.

Kim's lawyer, disso-queen Laura Wasser, was in court this AM ... objecting to Kris' demand to see various emails Kim sent on some closed accounts. The hearing was supposed to go down May 2, but Kris' lawyer asked the judge today to hear it today ... the judge said no.

Here's Kris' problem ... The trial is supposed to start on May 6. Even if the judge orders her to turn over the emails when Kris' motion is heard on May 2 ... she'd have 10 days to deliver the goods. By then the divorce case will be over. Translation -- even if Kris wins, he loses.

And that's all she wrote.