Dating

Heather Locklear threw a little accidental shade at David Spade's new gf, but he can't possibly be pissed because she also dropped a huge advertisement ... for his junk!

We got Heather at LAX and asked why Spade has an endless track record of scoring smoking hot chicks -- including Heather. She briefly fell under his spell back in 2006.

Spade's secret is simple, according to Heather -- giant sense of humor and something else ... even bigger. She's laughing here, but she ain't joking.

Fun fact: The "Mister" Heather refers to in the clip is her dog. Not David's, umm ...

The only thing moving faster than J Lo and A-Rod's relationship is the jet taking them all over the place.

The latest "Where In The World Are J-Rod?" episode landed in Miami Tuesday night, and the couple did dinner at Prime 112 Steakhouse. Talk about racking up the miles ... they spent Easter Sunday with their kids in the Dominican Republic, where J Lo performed the night before.

They also shacked up at a $10k a night private estate. The week before that ... they were hanging in NYC.

Next stop, please!

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have not even started the process of figuring out who gets what in the divorce, because they made a real attempt during their separation to work things out rather than just end things.

Sources on both sides say there's no animosity between Ben and Jen. We've learned Ben's now dating someone, though "not seriously." He's moving out of the family guesthouse and into a new home. As one source said, "He's ready to move on."

As for Jen ... we're told she cares deeply for Ben, but his stint in rehab was the culmination of a difficult period for the family and she too felt it's now the right time to end the marriage.

We're told Ben and Jen never discussed dividing assets because they were ambivalent about the divorce, so now they have to deal with a fortune in assets. As we reported, there is no prenup, so everything goes into one pot ... property, art and other items must be valued, sold or split.

It will take a minimum of 6 months before the divorce is final, and sources say because of the amount of property, it will probably take longer.

Selena Gomez and The Weeknd had to sneak some affection at Coachella ...making out in between snack breaks.

The couple roamed the grounds of the Empire Polo Club this weekend with friends, when Selena and Abel made their relationship clear to all ...

He drops his water and meets her halfway, but then cuts it just as fast when his bud returns with what appear to be fries ... priorities, right?

Who said you couldn't have your cake and eat it too?

Joe Jonas is all good to the power of 2!

Joe and gf Sophie Turner were strolling through the SoHo district Thursday in NYC and it's pretty damn clear Joe's delivering the goods. Actually ... more like good, good, and Sophie seems plenty satisfied.

If her smiling face doesn't say it all then just take a closer look ... it's literally written all over her left hand and in plain view -- "Joe Gives Me Da Good Good."

Good work, Joe ... and get it, Sophie!

Morena Baccarin won big in court Thursday -- a judge greatly reduced the amount of spousal support she has to pay her ex, partly because her TV and movie gigs ain't a lock just yet.

Morena's lawyer, Samantha Spector, told a judge her client's income was truly up in the air, and she couldn't afford to keep paying Austin Chick $20k per month.

Spector pointed out Morena's TV show, "Gotham," hadn't been picked up yet for a 4th season -- and she's not a lock for "Deadpool 2" either. She also argued Austin could support himself with a j-o-b ... at Starbucks.

Morena's been fighting to get this discount, claiming Chick was sucking her finances dry instead of finding work. As of June 1, she'll only have to pay him $5k/month.

Seems Elisa Johnson is BACK ON with her quasi-boyfriend, Anthony Alcaraz -- 'cause they were all over each other on the beach in Miami!

Last we saw Magic Johnson's daughter, she claimed she wasn't really in a committed relationship, despite the on-again, off-again thing with the male model.

But here they are in Miami ... letting it all hang out.

Chris Brown is angry, feeling like he was stabbed in the back by Quavo from Migos ... a man he thought was a good friend until he started dating Karrueche Tran.

Our CB sources say ... Chris had both a business and personal relationship with Quavo ... inviting him to his home, collaborating on songs before Migos hit big, and supporting the group by attending multiple promotional parties.

Chris is livid that he actually helped promote Migos' recent hit album, "Culture," at the same time Quavo was secretly seeing his ex-girlfriend.

Chris believes it's no coincidence Karrueche got a restraining order against him at the very time she started getting tight with the Migos rapper. He believes this was orchestrated by both Karrueche and Quavo to clear the decks so they could date, without caring they would make him look like a chump.

Before Chris found out the 2 were dating, he did an interview with Billboard and called Migos "my real friends and brothers" and said, "I will never hate on you ni**as."

Well, now he does.

Good news for A-Rod, Fat Joe isn't pissed he put the moves on Joe's "little sister," Jennifer Lopez ... telling TMZ Sports he's "all for" the brand new celebrity relationship.

Khloe Kardashian says she's DEFINITELY down to marry Tristan Thompson ... even though he hasn't exactly proposed yet.

Karrueche Tran and Quavo from Migos are definitely the real deal, but their relationship isn't real romantic just yet.

Sources connected to both of them tell us Quavo's been hanging with Chris Brown's ex-GF for a few months, and while it started in the friend zone ... they've gotten much closer lately. They've juggled their schedules to wedge in a few dates.

That includes this past weekend in Biloxi where they rode off together following Migos' concert. We're told neither's calling it "exclusive" at this point -- they're just enjoying each other's company.

Sounds a lot like happily banging ... to us, anyway.

Before Karl-Anthony Towns and his Minnesota Timberwolves lost to the Lakers this weekend, he was rollin' on Rodeo Drive with his smokin' hot girlfriend, Kawahine Andrade.

If you don't know her ... you're welcome for this.

Kawahine is a fitness model with an insane physique. She often flaunts it on the 'Gram. You should probably click the follow button.

Couldn't happen but notice Kawahine and Karl-Anthony were right by the Cartier store ... which specializes in diamonds and rings.

Just sayin' ...

Mariah Carey is done with Bryan Tanaka and vice versa, and we're told it's over 2 things ... his insane jealousy and her shutting the cash register drawer on his fingers.

Our sources say Bryan had unbridled fury over Mariah's relationship with ex-hubby Nick Cannon. She's been chummy with him for sure, mostly for the benefit of their twins. They vacation as a family and go to dinner and parties together, sometimes without the kids. We're told it drove Bryan insane.

We're told Bryan would lash back at her by flirting and even coming onto women in plain view of Mariah.

The last straw came at the Kids' Choice Awards last month, when Nick and Mariah took the twins. We're told Bryan felt the display "disrespected" him and during the event he demanded she come home.

As for the cash register part, we're told Mariah got sick of footing the bills for her BF ... for things like Gucci and Balmain and super expensive shoes. Bryan also loves jewelry, and we're told he was always in the market for expensive watches and chains ... and guess who footed the bills?

She also felt Bryan slid in after she broke up with James Packer, and his endgame was fame.

They haven't seen or spoken to each other since they went to Cabo together at the end of March.

They were together for a little over 5 months. And we thought this one was gonna last.

Anthony Kiedis might be getting older, but judging from the babe he was smooching in Venice, Italy ... his chicks just keep getting younger.

Kiedis and his mystery brunette were spotted all over each other Sunday. The Red Hot Chili Peppers were in town for a private performance at a new Damien Hirst art exhibition.

Looks like Anthony did more than just observe the city's works of art.

Billie Lourd is making big TV deals at the same time she macks it up with Taylor Lautner.

Carrie Fisher's daughter just snagged a role on "American Horror Story," which begins shooting in June. The theme is the 2016 Presidential election.

The 24-year-old is perfect to play Chelsea ... we're just sayin'.

Brielle Biermann and her White Sox pitcher boyfriend, Michael Kopech, like covering all bases ... even in public.

The couple got in a few innings of suck face and carnival rides last week at a fair in Mesa, AZ ... near where he was hurling 107 mph fastballs in Spring Training at the time.