Hook Ups

Chad Ochocinco's already on the rebound with a new chick ... and there's no denying it, girl's got some SERIOUS JUNK ... even compared to a random girl in the background doing stripper moves.

The video was shot a few days ago in Miami -- showing Ocho and his new lady getting touchy-feely near the beach ... and she's got an ass like an onion. It makes us wanna cry.

BONUS: While Ocho cuddles up with the mystery woman, some random chick in the background felt it was a great time to practice her stripper moves on a pole. Gotta love Miami.

FYI -- it's been six months since Ocho's domestic violence arrest ... when he allegedly headbutted his wife Evelyn Lozada. The two have since divorced.

UPDATE: The photo agency that shot Chad and the unnamed "whooty" tells us the video is from February 7. Right now Chad is in Spain with a different woman -- Lauren Popeil ... heiress to the Ron Popeil infomercial fortune.

A source close to Lauren tells us she and Chad are great friends taking in a Real Madrid soccer match -- but they're not "dating" yet.

Today is Valentine's Day ... a holiday that commemorates the day on or about the year 270 A.D. ... when St. Valentinus was beaten with clubs and beheaded by the Romans (look it up).

And to honor him, here's a photo gallery of Taylor Swift with all of the people she's rumored to have hooked up with.

Erin Andrews and her L.A. Kings BF Jarret Stoll's answer to a simple Valentine's Day question sparked a hysterical convo -- about V-Day for gays and lesbians.

Warning: the following train of thought may derail. Frequently.

Kristen Stewart might get a thank you note for ruining Liberty Ross' marriage ... 'cause it seems LR has upgraded BIG TIME from adulterous Rupert Sanders to music honcho Jimmy Iovine.

Liberty and Jimmy were seen leaving a NYC hotel together this morning -- amidst rumors they've been dating for the past couple of weeks.

The timing makes sense, since Liberty just filed for divorce from Rupert on January 25 ... 6 months after the "Snow White and the Huntsman" director cheated on her with K-Stew.

Proving he's always got time to help out a hot, blonde chick ... Tiger Woods provided his private jet to injured skier Lindsey Vonn ... so she could fly out of Austria after her devastating crash earlier this week

Vonn -- who's rumored to be Tiger's new "girlfriend" -- boarded the jet in Salzburg this morning.

FYI, Vonn -- whose divorce from ex-husband Thomas Vonn was finalized last month -- has claimed she and Tiger are "just friends" ... friends who share private jets.

As we reported, Vonn was competing at the Alpine World Championships in Schladming on Tuesday when she lost her balance and skidded into a gate ... at top speed. Following the accident, Vonn was airlifted to a nearby hospital where she was treated for injuries to her knee and shinbone.

9:42 AM PT -- A rep for Brown says the singer did NOT write the Instagram post ... insinuating that it was drafted by an imposter.

You really buyin' that?

Hours after Chris Brown was accused of cheating the system, he got some serious support from Rihanna ... who rode shotgun with the singer following a recording session in L.A..

The two were pictured leaving the L.A. studio together around 4:30 AM ... following an angry statement from Brown in which he said his life is PURE HELL.

We broke the story ... prosecutors believe Brown LIED about doing community service -- and could face serious jail time for allegedly participating in a conspiracy to dupe authorities.

But last night, Brown reportedly took to Instagram to unload about the situation ... telling his fans he can't relax because the stories about his life are constantly being covered on TV, radio and everything else.

Brown's frustrations are obvious -- "Im wise I can handle the hate but enough is enough, yo!!"

He continued ... "Im a human being and I honestly think I deserve respect Im sick of being accused ... Im tired yall Just don't understand Ive been going through this sh*t since I was 19 years old .. You cant sit here and tell me to calm down, when am I gonna get a positive outcome out of anything I do?"

"Im not gonna sit here and play victim, Im just tired of this sh*t ... I pray every day and night for a new outcome ... and just when everything seems to be going good some new sh*t happens."

And then Brown -- a convicted woman beater -- had the balls to write, "A day in my shoes is a day in hell, believe it or not!"

A hearing in the community service matter is set for today in L.A. at 2:00 PM PT.

Stay tuned ...

Bar Refaeli's mouth has the power to turn a regular man into a bona fide Casanova ... 'cause that geek she sucked face with in the Go Daddy commercial says chicks have been all over his jock ever since the spot aired.

The lucky sonofabitch in the commercial is Jesse Heiman who tells TMZ his life has completely changed in the past week ... and obviously, all for the better.

"I’ve actually had guys tweet me that they wish they were me, and girls tweet me saying they wish they were Bar.”

But the interest from the ladies isn't just from the cyber variety -- Jesse explains, "I have girls run up to me and take pictures with me, tweet me for dates.”

Jesse tells us his career has also exploded ... saying, "There are lots of inquiries coming in to my agent and manager, their phone has been ringing off the hook, but they are really letting me enjoy the moment right now.”

Time to fire up the Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez rumor mill ... because Selena was spotted returning home yesterday after hanging out allllll night with the Biebs.

The on-again/off-again (to the infinity power) couple hasn't actually been seen together in some time ... and we're told this is the first time the two have seen each other in a month.

It's clear these two young lovebirds just don't know how to quit each other.

Kris Humphries only had one point during last night's Brooklyn Nets game, but saved his real scoring for afterward ... where he landed a hot chick at a NYC nightclub.

Humphries was spotted leaving a club called Finale at around 3:00 AM ... arm-in-arm with a new squeeze. We're told Kris came to the club with a group of friends, but was only talking to this girl all night.

Our spies inside the club say Kris and the girl were very affectionate and dancing together the entire time and Kris went out of his way to avoid pics while inside. After the pics were taken, we're told the pair got into a cab and drove off.

Sources close to Kris tell TMZ they don't know who the girl is, but said she is definitely "not his girlfriend."

"Game of Thrones" star Jason Momoa -- who also played Conan the Barbarian in the 2011 remake -- is finally revealing how he maintains his insane physique ... sexercise.

Momoa -- who recently chopped his trademark locks -- was out in NYC last night when we started talkin' gym habits ... specifically, how do you stay in shape ... CrossFit? Pilates?

"I f*ck a lot" ... Momoa said.

Seems like it's working ...

Lindsay Lohan isn't offended that The Wanted singer Max George completely denied their relationship on Twitter this week -- because as far as she's concerned, there IS no relationship ... they're just hook-up buddies.

Lindsay posted the above photo on Instagram a few days ago -- showing her and Max joking around together -- and Max's fans erupted on Twitter ... writing things like, "If you date Lindsay, I will die!"

Max responded to the complaints, flat-out denying he was dating Lindsay whatsoever -- and called speculation about their relationship "rumors ... That's all ... Like I said ... 1 million percent."

But Lindsay's telling friends, she doesn't feel burned -- because Max is telling the truth ... they aren't boyfriend and girlfriend ... they just have a no-strings-attached non-exclusive hook-up thing going on.

Paul Nassif is taking the high road -- rather than bashing his ex, Adrienne Maloof, for dating a much younger man ... he's just happy that she's happy.

Maloof has been seen all over town this past week with her new beau, Sean Stewart, who happens to be 20 years her junior.

But when we saw Nassif last night at RivaBella in West Hollywood, he acted like a perfect gentleman, saying, "As long as she's happy, that's all I care about."

Sean Stewart and Adrienne Maloof enjoyed a pleasant lunch (or should we say ... a happy meal?) as they hit up a McDonald's drive-thru in Hollywood yesterday.

32-year-old Sean Stewart is over the moon about his new relationship with 51-year-old Adrienne Maloof -- telling TMZ, "I'm very happy ... She's a very very very good lady" ... and anyone who criticizes their age difference is just SEXIST.

Stewart was out in L.A . today when he addressed rumors he'd already moved into Adrienne's pad -- just weeks after they started dating -- and he said, it's just not true ... "I actually have my own place."

But things got heated when the topic turned to the couple's age difference -- Stewart said, "If men can date younger women, why can't an older woman date a younger man? It's sexist."

It's official ... newly single Adrienne Maloof is dating Rod Stewart's son Sean -- who's nearly 20 years her junior -- but she tells TMZ, "Age is just a number."

Adrienne tells us, she met 32-year-old Sean very recently through a mutual friend. Sean had wanted to pitch her a business idea and the two just hit it off.

TMZ posted a video of Sean and Adrienne leaving a Bev Hills restaurant together this weekend -- and Adrienne says it was just one of several recent dates. But she adds, the two are keeping things casual for now.

Adrienne -- who is 51 -- isn't bothered by the age difference either, telling us, "It's about how good of a person you are ... [Sean] is a very funny guy. He's very giving, he mentors at the mission, works with at-risk children, and gives his time and money to get children off the streets."