Hot Mamas

Jessica Simpson has 2 glorious rewards for giving birth almost 3 months ago -- and if you think we're talking about her kids ... you're definitely NOT looking at the image above.

You also don't know us very well.

Lindsay Lohan and Madonna were accidental (we think) twinsies in NYC last night ... which is great for Madonna, and ... not-so-great for LiLo.

Madge threw a party for the release of her new short film -- and posed for a photo with Lindsay ... both of them in matching black outfits, matching red lipstick, and matching curly blondish hair.

Kim Kardashian says she hasn't been in hiding since the birth of North West ... it's debatable.

Kim was leaving a Sherman Oaks restaurant when one of the photogs asked her how it feels to be out of hiding. Her response is interesting.

The Hollywood post-baby game is to dump a lot of weight before stepping out in public. It's been 3 months since the kid was born and we've hardly seen Kim. She's definitely trimmed down and is pretty much back to being herself.

No surprise ... she's mum on Lamar.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian went back to Mecca last night -- Bev Hills -- for their first real night out on the town since North West jacked their lives!

They had dinner with Tyga and Blac Chyna at Hakkasan. Kim looks good and they seemed in a decent mood.

Here's what interesting .... the photogs -- including ours -- didn't ask one damn question. How 'bout, "How's the baby?" Something ... but we got nothing.

There's another way of looking at it, though. Maybe Kanye actually won, and he's intimidated the photogs into silence.

Christina Aguilera flaunted her hot new bod last night ... but it wasn't her body people are talking about ... it's her face -- because it looks ... well, different.

She didn't explain how she did it last night on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno."

So we gotta ask...

Are you planning to marry Kate Upton one day???

Well, good news ... she's probably gonna stay hot ... at least judging by this photo of her mother.

21-year-old Kate took a little stroll with her mom Shelley yesterday after the two lunched at super-pricey, celebrity eatery, Nello in NY.

Good genes in that family.

Ex-beauty queen Shanna Moakler knows all about quick weight loss ... because she just had 2.5 liters of fat slurped right out of her ... and TMZ has the photo to prove it.

Shanna stopped by Elite Body Sculpture in Beverly Hills on Tuesday for some quick body work -- a procedure called Airbrush Laser Liposculpture.

According to the EBS website, the doctor doesn't use a scalpel, but rather a circular-shaped device that leaves a scar that's smaller than a pencil top eraser.

We're told Shanna wanted some extra help tightening up her stomach ... because she's had a tough time getting back into pre-baby shape after birthing 3 kids.

After the procedure, the doc gave Shanna a jar of the removed lard -- which measured out to 2.5 liters of the fat stuff.

For all you metrically-challenged people -- 2.5 liters is equal to 84.5 ounces ... which is almost 3 Big Gulps.

The best part -- after Shanna lost the fat, she raced straight from the doc's office to Boa Steakhouse on the Sunset Strip and woofed down a big ol' juicy steak ... 'cause why the hell not?

Dina Lohan may not have encountered 15 men on a dead man's chest at a Labor Day party, but it sure looks like she found that bottle of rum.

Dina, who played Tennille to a very eccentric Captain -- millionaire Sir Ivan Wilzig -- partied Sunday at Ivan's estate ... which people call the Playboy Mansion of the East Coast.

Several party-goers tell TMZ ... Dina went full bore, slurring her speech and at times zoning out, as she bragged that Oprah was interviewing her today for the Lindsay Lohan docu-soap.

We're told Dina was telling people at the party -- billed as "Sailors and Sinner Soiree" -- she was a good mother. She also said there was nothing ever wrong with Lindsay.

Today is Labor Day ... a time to honor the hard work and dedication of our labor force, and no one is workin' it harder than Alessandra Ambrosio -- and her perfectly sculpted ass.

Dear Mexican drug cartels,

Here is Kate Beckinsale ... in a bikini ... in Mexico.

Please don't behead her.

Less than a week after celebrating her 55th birthday ... Madonna ventured out in Rome Wednesday wearing a shiny gold grill piece.

2005 called ...

This video is pretty great ... Kristin Cavallari messing with the paps after a night of clubbing in Hollywood -- shakin' 'em down for cab fare in exchange for a photo ... and it's awesome.

It's that classic KC bitchiness we all know and love ... with the reality star shaming the paparazzi for $5 outside Hooray Henry's in Hollywood -- "I just posed for you. Pony the f*ck up."

Eventually, one of the snappers opens his wallet ... but Kristin was clearly not impressed.

It's not like she needs the money -- her husband Jay Cutler is at the end of a 5-year $50 million contract.

It's a brawl of the Brazilian models!

Ana Beatriz Barros (31) strolled on the beach in Greece with a sexy striped bikini and wild sunglasses yesterday (left) -- while Alessandra Ambrosio (32) wore an even stripier bikini and even wilder sunglasses along side her (right).

Normally, we wouldn't feel so guilty checking out Gwen Stefani's incredible ass during a bikini-clad boat outing in France ... but her kid was there.

So, we put a black bar over his face.

And now we feel less guilty.

Enjoy!

Here's a photo of Beyonce -- sporting either a wig or extensions -- looking like she's ready for a cameo on "90210."