The Situation -- Rollin' On Expensive Dubs

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It's the car that abs bought -- a 2008 Bentley coup for The Situation, and all he had to shell out was around $100,000.

But Sitch isn't rollin' alone ... his brother, Marc Sorrentino, got a slightly less-expensive 2008 Bentley.

Our Sitch sources say both cars were paid for through the brothers' company -- MPS Entertainment ... brokered by Andy Eminger from Celebrity Rental.

We're told the boys are getting the cars suped up with custom rims and sweet sound systems.

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THE GANG'S ALL HERE

Only in America.

The Situation's Gonna Be Late to the 'Dance'

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The Situation's "Dancing with the Stars" career has already hit a major setback -- TMZ has learned dude will get significantly less time to practice for the show ... all thanks to "Jersey Shore."

Sources connected to The Situation tell us the "stars" are scheduled to begin rehearsing on Monday -- but since Sitch still has serious "Jersey Shore" obligations (taping, appearances, etc) that dude won't be able to slip on his Capezios until at least September 8.

... and since it'll probably take a couple more days to shake that nasty "Jersey Shore" hangover ... who knows when Sitch could be ready to begin practicing for the September 20 premiere.

Bottom line -- Sitch will get almost half the prep time as Bristol Palin, Kurt Warner, David Hasselhoff and Audrina Patridge ... then again, he's the only one with a job.

So will Situation be hoisted by his own unitard? We gotta ask ...

The Situation -- Now with D-Bag Hair, Too!

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For once, "Jersey Shore" belly flasher The Situation wasn't flaunting his abs in the Garden State yesterday ... just his new Christian Audigier-approved shaved haircut.

It takes $5 million to look this, er, good.

Snooki -- Carefully Preserved in Alcohol

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Snooki has officially been immortalized on the "Jersey Shore" -- according to the owner of her favorite bar, the famous guidette's drink of choice has been permanently renamed in her honor.

Beachcomber Bar & Grill owner Michael Carbone tells TMZ, Snooki comes into the bar every other day and orders the same thing -- a cocktail called the "Scooby Snack" -- which contains coconut rum, creme de bananes, melon liqueur, pineapple juice and whipped cream.

Because of her loyalty to the Seaside Heights establishment -- and all the business she attracts -- the bar has officially decided to rename the drink "Snooki Snack" ... effective immediately.

For those who can't remember which drinking hole this is -- it's the same place Snooks got punched in the face last season.

The Situation Wants You to Drink His Protein ... Vodka

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If you have ever thought to yourself, "Man, I want to drink whatever vodka The Situation drinks. And I wish it had protein in it too. But nah, that will never happen" -- boy, do we have a surprise for you!

Sources tell TMZ the "Jersey Shore" money machine scored a $400,000 signing bonus to be the spokesman for a vodka company called Devotion.

But this ain't no ordinary booze -- Devotion contains a clear protein called Casein ... which can support an increase in lean body mass and a decrease in body fat if the user is also on some sort of weight training program.

We're told The Sitch's brother, Marc Sorrentino, brokered the deal through the company they run together, MPS Entertainment.

As we previously reported, Sitch is expected to rake in $5 million this year -- we're guessin' he'll drink to that.

The Situation Makes More Money Than He Should

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In news that is sure to make you re-evaluate all your life choices -- The Situation is estimated to make more than $5 million in 2010, this according to the Hollywood Reporter.

The Sitch takes in roughly $60,000 an episode -- after bonus incentives, a source tells HR. Dude is also expected to rake in $1 million this year in appearance fees.

And there's more -- Situation is also getting paid for "developing" several products -- including an ab-centric workout video and a line of chewable supplements.

The HR also claims Sitch scored a six-figure deal to promote a line of vodka -- plus he'll get partial ownership in the company. He's also released a rap song on iTunes and has signed endorsement deals with Vitamin Water, Reebok and a clothing company.

And get this -- The Situation got a six-figure advance on his autobiography. The book on tape will probably be fascinating.

Snooki's Ex -- I Should Have Made a Sex Tape!

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Spencer Pratt's guido protégé Emilio isn't quite on his level yet ... because he didn't shoot a sex tape with Snooki like Spencer did with Heidi -- but he wishes he had!

Emilio shot a dating show pilot for Spencer's production company called "Fist Pumping 4 Love." He tells us he thinks the Speidi sex tape is "an amazing idea" and he envies Spencer for it.

But rest easy -- there is no sex tape with Emilio and ex-GF Snooki. Emilio says, "Wish I did that with Snooki. But I'm still learning and wasn't as smart as him."

It's probably a good thing -- the world isn't ready for a Snooki sex tape.

Snooki to Judge: They Got Nuthin!!!!

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Snooki from "Jersey Shore" (like there's another one) just pled not guilty to three charges following her arrest on July 30 in Seaside Heights, New Jersey.

Snooki -- who was not present today in Seaside Heights Municipal Court -- faces misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct, creating a nuisance and annoying people at the beach (for real).

As we previously reported, Snooks plans on fighting the charges tooth and overly-manicured nail.

Snooki's next court date is set for September 8 ... she faces a couple of hundred dollars in fines if convicted.

Snooki -- I Ain't Goin' Down Without a Fight!

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Get ready for a war in Jersey -- because TMZ has learned Snooki is launching a full-scale legal offensive over her messy arrest in Seaside Heights last month.

Snooki's lawyer is demanding that prosecutors turn over all of the evidence they plan to use against the "Jersey Shore" star in her disorderly conduct case ... and that includes everything from witnesses to lab reports to photos and even video footage.

And there should be plenty of that -- in fact, TMZ posted several photos of Snooki partying earlier that day with a beer bong ... though it does appear that she was only pouring soda into the funnel.

But this video of her desperately trying to mount a bicycle ... and then falling off of it ... could be harder to explain.

'Jersey Shore's' Ronnie Busted Over Parking Tickets

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"Jersey Shore" cast member Ronnie Ortiz-Magro was taken in to custody by Seaside Heights PD this morning ... and we're told it's all over unpaid parking tickets.

A source close to production tells TMZ ... Ronnie went in to the police station this morning, paid the tickets, and is already home.

Compared to other "Shore" police activity, this one was pretty minor.

UPDATE: A press release from the Seaside Heights PD says, "On August 15, 2010 Ronald Ortiz was placed under arrest for outstanding warrants from two separate jurisdictions ... Mr. Ortiz was transported to the Seaside Heights Police Department where he was processed and later released after satisfying the conditions of these warrants."

Ronnie and Sammi Grease & Sweat & Muscles

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Greasy and hairless second tier "Jersey Shore" cast members Ronnie and Sammi took time out from unnaturally tanning to do it the old-fashioned way yesterday on the beach in Seaside Heights, NJ.

GT and more T.

'Jersey Shore' -- New Girl A Season 1 Reject

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The newest guidette on "Jersey Shore" knows all about rejection -- producers kicked her overly-tanned ass to the curb when she tried out for Season 1 ... and TMZ has obtained

.

The foulmouthed Snook-alike -- 23-year-old Deena Nicole Cortese -- originally auditioned for the show last year ... right around the time Snooki, The Situation and the rest of the cast interviewed for a spot on the show.

It's unclear why Deena didn't make the show the first time around -- during her audition, she drops the F-bomb 21 times in 3 minutes.

TMZ Live: Lohan, Snooki, and Bill Cosby

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We took your questions on everything -- including Lindsay Lohan being released from jail and then sent to rehab, Snooki being arrested for disorderly conduct, and Bill Cosby lives on despite Twitter rumors to the contrary.

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Plus: Chelsea Clinton, Alicia Keys, and T.I. all got married this past weekend.

Snooki's Mug Shot Her Mascara Runneth Over

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TMZ has obtained Snooki's mug shot -- taken moments after the Seaside Heights PD arrested the "Jersey Shore" star for disorderly conduct Friday afternoon.

Snooki -- aka Nicole Polizzi -- was in held in custody for several hours ... before she was released on her own recognizance.

As we previously reported, Snooki had been partying on the boardwalk earlier in the day with a beer bong ... and at one point, she fell off of a bicycle.

Sources tell us Snooki went out to dinner with one of her cast members after the incident last night.

Snooki -- A Little Loopy

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Snooki didn't get arrested yesterday -- instead she hit up a few rides on the boardwalk in Seaside Heights.

This time if Snooki thought the room was spinning, it had nothing to do with drinking.

Angelina's Boyfriend -- Banned from 'Jersey' Set

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TMZ has learned Angelina Pivarnick's cop boyfriend has been banned from the "Jersey Shore" set -- but the people who laid down law weren't MTV execs ... they were his own superiors.

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Angie's boyfriend Paul Imperiale -- who is a police officer in Seaside Heights, NJ -- tells TMZ his bosses won't let him go anywhere near the "Jersey" production anymore ... after he was busted for "sticking up for my girlfriend" while wearing his uniform recently.

TMZ also spoke to Police Chief Boyd, who says Paul was "spoken to" and will be reassigned "to an area where there will be noconflict."

Now if "Jersey" could only get rid of Angelina...