Kids

Brooke Mueller is quietly smiling to herself -- because she believes she's already won her custody battle against Charlie Sheen ... all thanks to his self-sabotaging rants ... and it's gonna cost him big.

Sources close to Brooke tell TMZ, they believe Brooke has gained the upper hand in the custody war after Charlie's foul-mouthed blustering against Brooke, the judge, and the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services.

Thanks to the diatribes, we're told DCFS now believes Charlie is off his rocker ... and it's more inclined than ever to give Brooke full custody of twins Bob and Max, which is what DCFS always wanted.

But that's not it -- we're told Brooke isn't just confident she'll get full custody, she believes the judge will now award her even MORE child support from Charlie than she previously received ($55,000 per month).

Ca-ching!

8:50 AM PT -- Sources close to Brooke tell us, Brooke is looking to move because she believes that's what the court wants. We're told Brooke is under the impression she can't live under the same roof as her children -- and when her brother Scott moves in today with the twins, she feels she's required to find another place to live full-time until her custody rights are fully restored.

Brooke Mueller seems to be subscribing to the adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," because she's got her sights set on moving out of Charlie Sheen's neighborhood.

Brooke was shopping for condos in Bev Hills Monday ... just a day before twins Bob and Max will be living with her full-time, under the watchful eye of Brooke's brother Scott.

Here's what's interesting. Brooke has been living in a house Charlie bought just blocks from where he lives. Things have gotten so bad between the 2, Charlie has been making noises that she's becoming persona non grata, so condo shopping is not surprising.

As for who will end up paying for the condo ... it's likely good ol' Charlie will end up footing the bill. Brooke's child support was sliced in half after losing custody, but now that the kids will be living with her full-time, it's a safe bet Charlie will have to ante up $55k a month, just like in the good ol' days.

Kanye West clearly has new priorities ... leaving an epic birthday party for Leo DiCaprio in NYC and flying all night back to L.A. for North West's doctor's appointment.

We're told Kanye and Kim landed just before 6 AM ... and rushed home where Kanye picked up Nori and headed to the doctor's office in Bev Hills. FYI ... guess who didn't go? Mama K was otherwise engaged.

The kid's fine. It was just a routine baby visit.

Maybe it'll impress the judge in the assault case.

TMZ has seen the VIDEOTAPE of Tom Cruise's deposition, and here's what's clear ... he scoffs at the comparison between his job as an actor and a soldier in Afghanistan, but only at the end of a contentious exchange with the opposing lawyer.

We were not able to record the video but we viewed the portion in question several times. You see a buttoned-up Tom -- wearing a coat, a vest and a white shirt -- sitting almost motionless with his lips pursed, as the lawyer asks:

-- "Now, your counsel has publicly equated your absence from Suri for these extended periods of time as being analogous to someone fighting in Afghanistan. Are you aware of that?"

As the question is asked, Tom does not change his expression. He doesn't scoff, laugh or show any sort of shock. He sits impassively.

Tom's lawyer objects and then says he can answer. Tom remains stoic.

Then he answers:

-- "I didn't hear the Afghanistan, but that's what it feels like, and certainly on this last movie, it was brutal. It was brutal."

When Tom says "I didn't hear the Afghanistan, but that's what it feels like," he doesn't laugh but moves in his chair. When he says "It was brutal, it was brutal" ... Cruise laughs.

Then when the lawyer says "Do you believe the situations [being in a movie and fighting a war in Afghanistan] are the same?" ... Cruise becomes almost indignant and says, "Oh come on." At this point he is clearly saying they're not the same.

Five short years after swearing she'd never do porn again, Jenna Jameson is back getting naked on camera for money -- and she tells TMZ, it's all for the sake of her family.

Jenna recently made her return to the adult industry as a webcam model -- stripping and doing sex acts online in exchange for tips -- and she says her kids are a HUGE motivating factor behind locking down a steady paycheck.

As we reported, Jenna's been having money issues. She recently lost her Hollywood Hills home to foreclosure.

But it's all especially shocking -- because back during the AVN Awards in 2008, Jenna swore up and down that she'd "never ever ever spread my legs again in this industry. Ever." It was awkward.

Sarah Palin has no love for the daddy of her grandson ... because she just barked out to TMZ that Levi Johnston is a 'deadbeat dad.'

As TMZ previously reported, Levi just filed legal docs asking for 50/50 joint custody of 4-year-old Tripp. He says it's in the boy's best interest.

As for whether Levi should get joint custody ... Palin is incredulous.

But here's the rub ... Levi is roughly $66k behind in child support.

Charlie Sheen runs into his neighbor, DCFS honcho Charles Sophy, who's incredulous Sheen trashed him on Twitter.

SOPHY
Charlie, you're such a jerk. This isn't gonna help your case with the twins.

SHEEN
Shut up you miscreant! You're as warped as Judge Anus Brain.

[SCENE]

You could be watching this confrontation soon, because TMZ has learned a TV production company has contacted Dr. Charles Sophy, the Medical Director of the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services, asking him if he would participate in a TV series profiling the real-life drama/comedy in Charlie Sheen's gated community.

Sources connected with the production company tell us ... they saw the post on TMZ, in which we revealed Dr. Sophy lives in the very same gated community as Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards, Brooke Mueller and all the kiddies. And don't forget Paris Hilton, who lives down the block.

We're told the production company wants to do a loosely-based series and asked Dr. Sophy if he was interested in helping. We're told Sophy in no uncertain terms said he was not interested.

It is pretty compelling -- in a city as big as L.A., everyone involved in the drama lives blocks apart from each other and, we're told, they pass each other often on the street. Sources tell us ... the only person who has been fairly anonymous was Sophy, who was not recognizable.

Our Brooke sources say Brooke didn't realize Sophy was her neighbor until he called her in for a meeting with Denise last week.

Our sources say the production company has NOT given up on the idea.

Stay tuned.

Mark Burg, Charlie's manager, tells TMZ, Charlie is exclusive to FX, so thanks but no thanks.

Brooke Mueller celebrated her birthday with twins Bob and Max ... and you could see the wheels turn as she made a wish before blowing out the candles.

Brooke was at the L.A. Zoo with the 4-year-olds she had with Charlie Sheen, when everyone stopped for a makeshift birthday celebration. The video was taken in August, just after she lost custody of her kids.

Charlie Sheen is a self-absorbed, psychologically screwed-up parent who is quick to blame others for the plight of his twins, but unwilling to step up to the plate ... so claims the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services.

DCFS sources tell TMZ ... they're pissed that Charlie is hurling grenades at everyone involved in the mess that has become his family -- calling Brooke Mueller a "whore," the judge an "anus brain" and DCFS "incompetent and lascivious."

Our DCFS sources -- who work in the trenches -- say Charlie has NEVER made a real move to take custody of Bob and Max. As one source put it, "He cares more about his drugs and porn stars than he does the kids."

There seem to be 2 schools of thought at DCFS -- one is that Charlie is so psychologically screwed up and angry that he should never have the kids, and the other that he has never given the Dept. the chance to take a serious look at him as a custodial parent.

Either way ... DCFS -- not fans.

5:55 PST -- Charlie just tweeted this picture saying "a day of miracles on a field of dreams ... hashtag a real modern family."

The trio came together in Tarzana today for an awkward -- yet respectable -- moment ... and didn't seem too fazed standing side by side ... by side.

Makes sense ... since K-Fed made it clear to us last month he had moved on with his life and didn't really care about things going on with Britney anymore.

Charlie Sheen just violated the gag order in his custody case in a spectacular way, calling the judge Mr. "I'm Italian judge anus-brain," and threatening him if his kids are hurt in the newest custody configuration.

It's something of an understatement to say Charlie is not pleased that the judge just made Brooke Mueller's brother Scott the temporary guardian of twins Bob and Max. The judge also allowed Scott and the kids to live with Brooke so they could be close to school. That effectively puts Brooke back in the position of having full custody while she tries to beat her latest drug abuse problem.

Charlie just tweeted, "So lemme see if I got this straight ... my twin boys are now in harm's way and in grave danger, being 'raised' by a gaggle of incompetent and lascivious marionettes all ruled and fooled by an Adderall snorting husk called Brooke."

Now it gets good ... "And guess what CPS and 'I'm Italian' judge anus-brain, you may have gagged me temporarily, but mark my unspoken words, anything happens to my boys, and you will get to know me, know who I truly am, a loving father."

He ends, "Tag -- I'm it."

The judge just hauled Charlie into court a few days ago, telling him he's going to jail if he violates the gag order again.

Suri Cruise has the confidence and maturity that far exceeds the norm for a 7-year-old ... so says Suri expert Tom Cruise.

In his deposition in the defamation case, Tom says Suri is a good communicator, which allows him to have meaningful conversations with her when he's not with her.

But more than that ... Cruise swore under oath ... his daughter is "confident" and has "a good sense of herself."

Brooke Mueller loves her kids, but her feelings over custody seem to have a direct correlation to how much money she was getting from Charlie Sheen.

Here's what we know ....

-- Before Brooke lost custody of her kids, she was getting $55,000 a month from Charlie.

-- In May -- after DCFS removed twins Bob and Max from her house and gave them to Denise Richards under a guardianship -- Brooke fought tooth and nail to change the arrangement so that her brother Scott would get the kids. Sources familiar with the situation say Brooke wanted Scott because she'd be less likely to lose her child support if he had them.

-- In June, our sources say Brooke changed her tune with Denise, because there had been no movement to alter child support. We're told Brooke was downright cordial to Denise -- even grateful.

-- Everything changed in July, when Charlie filed legal docs to cut off Brooke's child support. Brooke was fighting Charlie, while Denise watched the kids.

-- In September, the family court judge cut Brooke's child support IN HALF. We're told the judge said Brooke could get the full amount back when she had the kids for a certain number of hours per week. Sources say that's when Brooke declared WAR on Denise, saying she was brainwashing the boys against her and scheming with Charlie to hurt her.

Pauly D's baby mama Amanda Markert doesn't deserve ANY custody of their child -- so says the father of her first kid, who thinks Pauly couldn't possibly be a worse parent than Amanda already is.

Lance Gerbino is obviously biased, but he's still got a lot to say -- telling TMZ, Amanda has done nothing but spew huge, wretched lies ever since they met.

Get this ... Lance claims a month before he knocked up Amanda she told him she had cancer and couldn't get pregnant. Further, Lance says when she did get pregnant ... Amanda left him in the dark about whether he was the daddy.

Lance says Amanda's now doing to Pauly what she did to him -- lying and playing games -- and that's why he believes Pauly should get full custody of Amabella.

Amanda declined to comment ... but we spoke with a close relative of hers who told us Lance is full of BS and called him "a freaking, druggie liar."

Pauly D has his own reservations about Gerbino ... one reason Pauly wants full custody of Amabella is because there's a felony drug arrest warrant out for Gerbino, and he doesn't want his baby anywhere near the guy.

Brooke Mueller's got her hands back on her and Charlie Sheen's twins -- picking them up from school today and bringing them to her home ... for the foreseeable future.

As we reported, the judge ruled 4-year-old Bob and Max will move in with Brooke along with Brooke's brother Scott, who is now the legal guardian.

Scott became the temporary owner of the twins after Denise Richards said she could no longer care for the boys -- because they had become violent with her daughters and because she couldn't handle Brooke's craziness.

The L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services has opened a fresh investigation into allegations that someone hurt Bob, one of Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller's twins ... and we've learned Brooke is pointing the finger at Denise Richards.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... Brooke reported the incident over the weekend, just after Charlie appeared on TMZ Live and railed on her. We've learned Brooke told DCFS ... there was a cut on Bob's back that was deep enough to scab over, and she said it happened on Denise's watch.

As you know ... Denise was the guardian of the twins while Brooke tried to beat her latest bout of drug abuse. Denise threw in the towel yesterday, saying the kids were too violent, and now Brooke's brother Scott is the guardian.

We're told social workers went to Bob's school and determined the cut had been there for more than a week, which means it could have happened while Bob was under Brooke's care. DCFS then interviewed Denise, who said the cut had been there for more than a week.

Our DCFS sources say the timing of Brooke's complaint is suspect because the accusation came on the heels of Charlie attacking her on TMZ Live.