NHL Star Dustin Penner I Need to Settle My Divorce FOR THE SAKE OF MY HOCKEY CAREER!

Anaheim Ducks star Dustin Penner begged a judge to sign off on his divorce from his hot actress wife ASAP ... claiming the legal war is messing with his head and distracting him from playing like the kind of guy who deserves a FAT contract, TMZ has learned.

We broke the story, Penner -- who killed it for the L.A. Kings during their Stanley Cup run back in 2012 -- was hit with divorce papers from Jessica Welch last year. She's an actress who once appeared in an episode of "Are You Afraid of the Dark."

After splitting in February '12, Penner and Welch banged out a settlement agreement and submitted it to the court -- but the case dragged on for more than a year.

So last month, Penner submitted a plea to the judge ... begging him to sign off on the divorce as soon as possible because the stress from the split could affect his game ... which could ultimately affect his wallet.

In the court docs, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Penner writes ... "I am 30 years old. It is important for me psychologically to enter the upcoming season with this dissolution finally behind me so I can try to secure a multi-year contract."

He adds, "Training camp starts September 21st and I would like to have this matter completed before then."

Penner's wish was finally granted on September 9th -- so if he has a crappy season with the Ducks this year, he's all out of excuses.

Porn Star Taylor Stevens I Can SAVE the L.A. Kings ... with My Boobs

Porn star Taylor Stevens knows ... if the L.A. Kings are going to come back from an 0-2 deficit in the Western Conference finals, they're gonna need her boobs to distract the Chicago Blackhawks -- and tonight, she's READY TO STEP UP!!!

FYI -- Taylor has become a master distractor at the Kings games ... strategically sitting behind the opposing team's bench (with cans in full view) in the hopes of taking the players' minds off the game ... and it's worked in the past.

So, with the Kings' championship hopes on the line ... Taylor tells TMZ she's carefully selected her battle threads for Game 3 in L.A. tonight ... and judging from the pics, it's clear she means business.

Tom Cruise & David Beckham The Kings Game Face-Off

It was Team Cruise vs. Team Beckham at the L.A. Kings game last night.

Wearing father and son leathers, Tom Cruise and Connor Cruise watched the Kings beat the San Jose Sharks sitting alongside David and Victoria Beckham and their kids Romeo, Cruz, Brooklyn and adorable little Harper Beckham.

While the two A-list broods have no rivalry and have been good friends since back when Katie Holmes was still in the picture, Team Cruise clearly had the better seats in the house.

Even after all of David's hard work, soccer still gets no respect in the States.

L.A. Kings Announcer Hey Keyshawn ... BIEBER'S RIGHT HERE!!!

Everyone watches hockey for the fights ... and last night, the L.A. Kings announcer did his part to set up Keyshawn vs. Bieber by calling out JB during the live broadcast.

Right before the 3rd period, the camera found Bieber and some pals sitting rinkside at last night's Game 7 between the Kings and the Sharks (Go Kings Go!).

The announcer -- clearly abreast of the whole "Keyshawn Johnson vs. Justin Bieber Showdown in Calabasas" -- had a personal message for Key ... come and get him, HE'S RIGHT HERE!!!!

Unfortunately, Keyshawn didn't show up ... we're guessing he's not a big hockey fan.

Tom Cruise Ridin' with REBOUND CHICK ... Or Is He??

Tom Cruise fired up his Ducati and barreled out of a fancy Hollywood hotel late last night with a BRAND NEW CHICK ridin' on the back ... at least we think it was Tom Cruise ... LET'S INVESTIGATE!!!

Here are the facts ...

We know ... a mystery man sporting a motorcycle helmet left the Chateau Marmont hotel around 11:00 pm with a woman on the backseat.

We could see the man's brow line and nose ... and they bear a striking resemblance to Mr. Cruise.

We also know ... Tom was in town Thursday night, because he was photographed at the L.A. Kings playoff game at Staples Center earlier in the evening.

Plus ... it's no secret that Tom has a penchant for riding Ducatis ... and owns a Ducati superbike ... though the bike he's usually photographed on does NOT have a backseat.

As for the chick ... we don't know squat about her.

We called Tom's rep who insists it's NOT Tom -- Still, we gotta ask ...

REPORTER FAIL!!! Matthew Perry CONGRATULATED For Show Being Cancelled!

File this under, "EPIC FAILURE BY A SIDELINE REPORTER!"

Here's the setup ... reporter spots Matthew Perry at the L.A. Kings game on Friday night, hours after NBC made a huge announcement about Perry's show, "Go On."

Reporter decides to CONGRATULATE Perry on the announcement, LIVE on the air.

Problem is ... the announcement was that NBC had CANCELLED the show (whoops!).

What ensues is nothing short of HILARITY.

"You know, the show that I was doing was really getting in the way of Kings games," Perry deadpanned.

Brilliant.

Props to Awful Announcing & Danny Deraney for finding this gem.

Lakers Owner Jerry Buss Dies in L.A. Hospital

Jerry Buss -- owner of the Los Angeles Lakers -- died early this morning at the age of 80.

Buss had been hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in L.A. for the past few months due to a previously undisclosed intestinal problem ... though it was revealed yesterday he'd been battling cancer the entire time.

After starting his career as a chemist, Buss soon found his true calling in the real estate biz ... snapping up properties all over L.A. before moving on to the sporting world.

In 1979, Buss made history when he purchased the Lakers, the L.A. Kings and The Forum for $67.5 million -- at that time, the largest transaction in sports.

Under his ownership, Buss watched dozens of all-time greats -- including Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, James Worthy, Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant -- win the Lakers 10 NBA Championships. He was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2010.

Buss was also an avid poker player ... and appeared on several TV shows, including "High Stakes Poker" and "Poker After Dark."

He is survived by his six children.

Erin Andrews & Jarret Stoll What NOT to Say About Valentine's Day

Erin Andrews and her L.A. Kings BF Jarret Stoll's answer to a simple Valentine's Day question sparked a hysterical convo -- about V-Day for gays and lesbians.

Warning: the following train of thought may derail. Frequently.

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L.A. Kings Drew Doughty Officially Cleared in Rape Investigation

L.A. Kings star Drew Doughty has been officially cleared of raping a woman he hooked up with in a bar ... TMZ has learned.

As TMZ first reported, the NHL defenseman had been investigated after the woman accused him of forcibly having sex with her at his home back in March ... after bumping into each other in a Hermosa Beach, CA bar.

According to the the L.A. County District Attorney's Office ... the alleged victim "told the investigating officer that she had consensual sex with suspect" a few months prior to the March incident.

The D.A. says there is insufficient evidence to prove the case beyond a reasonable doubt -- and as a result Doughy will not be prosecuted.

Law enforcement sources have told TMZ there were "major issues" with the woman's credibility.

L.A. Kings Star To Be Cleared in Rape Investigation

L.A. Kings defenseman Drew Doughty is being investigated for rape following an incident back in March -- when a woman accused him of forcibly having sex with her -- but TMZ has learned, the D.A. will be rejecting the case.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, the woman in question filed a police report following the March 1st encounter -- claiming she bumped into Doughty at a bar in Hermosa Beach early that morning, and he asked her to come back to his place.

We're told ... the alleged victim told police she loudly rejected Doughty in front of his teammates -- calling him an "a**hole" -- and his teammates laughed.

Sources say the girl told police Doughty was embarrassed following the diss -- then wrangled her into a cab, took her home, and raped her.

The girl said she took a cab back to her place after the sex and later went to the hospital -- where police interviewed her and collected rape evidence.

The case has been under investigation since -- but police sources tell us, it will be rejected by the D.A. due to lack of evidence. We're told law enforcement has "major issues" with the woman's credibility.

Bottom line -- Doughty will be off the hook.

Calls to Doughty's camp were not returned.

Stanley Cup Boozing with Little People ... and Chuck Liddell

The Stanley Cup was a whore last night ... because it let all sorts of strangers rub their mouths and butts all over it for hours ... and TMZ has the pics.

The enablers were several members of the world champion L.A. Kings -- who treated Stanley to a night of mayhem at Beacher's Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood.

During the show, the Kings were entertained by The Little Kings -- a band of little people dressed up like their NHL counterparts ... who used the cup as a chair when their tiny feet got tired.

We're told the Kings arrived to the party with David Beckham ... and were met at the venue by UFC legend Chuck Liddell ... who filled the cup with beer and had the Kings hoist it up so he could chug with the champs.

But Stanley's night ended early -- 'cause the cup has a curfew. We're told right before midnight, reality star Frankie Delgado and his partner Josh Richman helped the cup's minders whisk Stanley out of the venue ... so it could be all gussied up for today's championship parade.

New Jersey Devils Party Bus Rolls After Stanley Cup Loss

The New Jersey Devils had a rough time scoring on the L.A. Kings -- which didn't stop them from trying to go top shelf ... on a couple of chicks outside their party bus! What Stanley Cup defeat?

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L.A. Kings The First Place We Took the Cup Was ...

The Stanley Cup is probably nursing the mother of all hangovers right now ... 'cause hours after the L.A. Kings beat up the NJ Devils, the champions took the trophy to their favorite local bar in Hermosa Beach.

Stanley Cup Finals MVP Jonathan Quick -- along with several of his teammates -- brought Stanley to the North End Bar and Grill last night ... where the unofficial team celebration went down.

But Stanley wasn't the only piece of championship hardware in the building, Quick also brought along his MVP trophy ... which sat right next to Lord Stanley's Cup at the front of the bar.

Go Kings Go.

NJ Devils The Losers Can Party Too

The NJ Devils couldn't have been too upset after the L.A. Kings destroyed 'em in the Stanley Cup Finals last night ... 'cause the whole team put on their finest suits and partied their faces off in Hollywood!

Jacob Josefson and a bunch of his teammates hit up the AV Nightclub for a little while ... before piling into cabs and limos and speeding off into the night.

In case you missed it, the Kings took the cup in Game 6 last night ... and in a shocking turn of events, nobody destroyed the city in a crazy victory riot. Suck on that, Vancouver!!

Taylor Swift Ditches CMTs to Jump on Kings Bandwagon

Despite having three nominations, country darling Taylor Swift skipped the CMT Awards in Nashville last night ... to watch the the L.A. Kings at a bar instead.

Wearing a floral prairie dress and sensible shoes, the 22-year-old -- who also lost in all 3 nominated categories -- was spotted leaving The Cut Saloon in Brentwood after watching Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

The serial dater's award no-show comes on the heels of John Mayer complaining in Rolling Stone magazine that he was "humiliated" by Taylor's song "Dear John," which is allegedly about the adult-contemporary crooner.

Anyway, Kings lost to the N.J. Devils. So ... good choice, Taylor.

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