Real Housewives

As we first reported, a lawyer for the Salahis emailed the cast of "Real Housewives" ... threatening to sue if any of them use the "defamatory" phrase -- because, according to their lawyer, they technically never crashed the dinner.

Mark Lane, a lawyer for cast member Lynda Erkiletian, tells TMZ the Salahis could clear this whole thing up by just showing off the invitation. Lane says, "After eight months of exhausting the taxpayer's money investigating this issue, she could save everyone's time and money by just producing the invitation."

Lane says Erkiletian plans on using the phrase just the same, but with one concession -- she'll throw the term "alleged" in front of it ... complete with air quotes.

Tareq and Michaele Salahi have lawyered up with Lisa Bloom, who fired off an email to the cast of the show, telling them there has been an exhaustive investigative study of the famous White House dinner. The conclusion: "The Salahis did not 'crash' the White House dinner, nor the Black Caucus dinner."

Bloom goes on to say, "It is simply a false statement of fact, and defamatory, to call the Salahis 'party crashers,' as it suggests they have committed crimes."

Bloom then threatens legal actions if the girls dare use the words.

Laurita has been called as a witness in a ferocious defamation case between Staub and her ex-husband Kevin Maher. As we previously reported, Maher claims Staub should fork over $5 mil for allegedly spreading horrific lies about him.

Maher has tapped Jacqueline for his witness list -- and expects her to testify about Staub's "dishonest reputation."

But Jacqueline tells TMZ, "I didn't even know I was on the list ... it's not really a list I want to be on ... can I be taken OFF the list?"

She adds, "I really don't want to go back to that dark place. Every time I've moved on the tide tries to pull me back in. I'm enjoying the sun. Let me be."

Sheen rolled in to Blizz in Sherman Oaks along with Adrianne Maloof-Nassif and her husband -- and loaded up on yogurt and Fruity Pebbles toppings.

The owner of The Funkey Monkey in Delaware tells TMZ ... just as they green lit the table-flipping contest for Teresa's appearance Saturday, Bravo caught wind of it and shut it down.

A rep for Bravo tells us the network has a hands-off policy regarding personal appearances -- but according to inside sources Teresa was told the contest might be a dumb PR move ... so she'd be better off not flaunting her famous Season 1 move (see video).

It's all over the $5 million defamation suit the former "Real Housewives of New Jersey" star's ex-husband Kevin Maher filed against her -- claiming she falsely accused him of raping her on broken glass, sticking a loaded gun in her privates, and murdering her dog.

According to the new docs, obtained by TMZ, Staub wants to make sure any evidence depicting her as "a prostitute, or a slut, or a whore" -- including her sexual history and sex tape -- is excluded from the trial.

In the papers, Staub claims her dirty laundry would turn a jury against her.

TMZ obtained Simon Barney's mug shot. He's in the process of divorcing Tamra, and sources tell us they were arguing over their dog when Simon allegedly threw the dog's leash at Tamra and hit her wrist.

Manzo spilled it on camera during a deposition in Staub's nasty defamation lawsuit against her ex-husband, Kevin Maher.

During the depo, Caroline said, "I did tell Bravo and Sirens that there is no amount of money you could put on the table for me next year."

She added, "If Danielle Staub is on the show, I am out because my integrity means too much to me ... so for Season 3, they know it's either Danielle or myself."

Manzo sat in front of a camera on July 22 for a deposition in Staub's ferocious legal war with her ex-husband Kevin Maher ... who's demanding $10 million for alleged defamation.

During the depo -- Manzo claims Staub told stories about her alleged abusive past with Maher ... including one situation where Maher allegedly raped Staub on broken glass, killed her dog and "inserted a pistol up her vagina."

Staub has claimed Maher has "no evidence" she ever made those statements about him.

Best part of the tape -- Manzo is asked about Staub's "propensity for truthfulness" ... and Caroline just unloads.

TMZ has learned the former "Real Housewives of New Jersey" star is set to spill her guts in a videotaped deposition in her bitter legal war with her ex-husband Kevin Maher.

As we previously reported, Maher is suing Staub for $5 million -- claiming she damaged his reputation by falsely claiming he killed her dog, raped her on a bed of broken glass and stuck a loaded gun into her genital region.

Staub -- who wanted to make it VERY clear that she didn't get fired from "RHONJ" -- tells us she starts taping her "spin-off" next week ... followed by an "over-the-top hosting show."

Staub insists her "spin-off" will be a reality show based around her family drama -- including her daughter's fashion career.

The man behind the lawsuit is Dr. Navin Singh -- from Ivy Plastic Surgery in Maryland -- who tells TMZ, he performed several "procedures" on Salahi last April -- but Michaele never paid the bill in full.

According to the suit, filed in district court in Virginia, Salahi still owes a cool $500 for unnamed procedures.

Dr. Singh wouldn't confirm the nature of the procedures -- but according to sources connected to the lawsuit, it's all over unpaid Botox injections ... which we're told Salahi had requested for a fundraising event a few days later.

The manager at Payless ShoeSource in Paterson, NJ tells TMZ, Kim -- along with her sidekick Tom Murro -- rounded up everyone in the store last Monday ... and personally threw down for their back-to-school purchases, which included "Star Wars" and Hello Kitty-themed backpacks.

But based on the receipt -- obtained by TMZ -- there weren't that many shoe shoppers out on the holiday ... because the total bill was only $143.60.

And not just artsy "top half" naked -- we're talking full-frontal, birthday suit naked.

Salahi's rep tells us the shoot will go down later this month -- and Michaele is "very excited" about posing down.