Tying The Knot

Kim Kardashian and her wedding posse of 460 were too loud for the neighbors ... law enforcement tells us the residents were so pissed off over the noise, they called the cops.

We're told several neighbors reached their limit at 11:30 PM and called the Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Department. Deputies paid a visit to the ritzy estate where Kim's bash was in full gear, and asked them to turn the music down, which they promptly did.

A Sheriff's official tells TMZ ... none of the neighbors wanted to sign an official complaint so no one was cited.

Well, we hate to break the news ... but it's official -- Kris Humphries is off the market.

Kris exchanged vows yesterday in Montecito, CA with his blushing bride, Kim Kardashian (maybe ya heard of her?)

The star-studded guest list included the likes of Ryan Seacrest and his girlfriend Julianne Hough, "Dancing With the Stars" pro Mark Ballas and his date Cheryl Burke, Brody Jenner and his girlfriend Avril Lavigne, dress designer Vera Wang, Demi Lovato, Ciara, NBA star Carmelo Anthony and La La Vasquez and the Lohans ... Dina, Ali and Lindsay.

Kim's older sisters Kourtney and Khloe served as maids of honor, while younger sisters Kylie and Kendall were bridesmaids. The ring bearer was Kim's nephew, Mason Disick, who carried wedding bands designed by Lorraine Schwartz, who also designed the 20.5-carat engagement ring.

Bruce Jenner walked Kim down the aisle.

Kris wore a tailor-made white tuxedo jacket with black pants and a white bow tie by Ermenegildo Zegna. He changed into a traditional black tux for the reception.

The dinner was catered by Wolfgang Puck and the bride and groom were introduced and then serenaded by Robin Thicke.

Kim Kardashian doesn't do anything for free (get your mind out of the gutter) so it only figures her wedding day would be a HUGE pay day for Kim K.

People magazine won the bidding war for exclusive wedding day photos, says The Hollywood Reporter, to the tune of $1.5 MILLION.

The trade says Kim and hubby-to-be Kris Humphries also raked in $300,000 for the engagement announcement back in May and $100,000 from OK! mag for bridal shower pics.

We thought weddings were supposed to cost money?

Wedding crashers BEWARE -- Kim Kardashian's party planning team is taking drastic measures to keep uninvited guests OUT ... with security treating the event "as if it was the White House."

Sources connected to the wedding tell TMZ ... party crashers are being treated as a serious threat ... and not only will security constantly patrol the grounds at the Montecito estate ... but we're told they'll also get support from the sky ... in the form of roaming choppers.

We're told the majority of the wedding festivities will take place either indoors or under tents to thwart the paparazzi -- because the Kardashians don't want the footage to leak out before their special airs on TV.

TMZ has obtained a copy of Kim Kardashian's wedding invitation, and it has all the makings of a fancy schmancy affair.

The wedding, which will be held on Saturday, August 20, is strictly black tie.

The ceremony will be held in Montecito, California -- near Oprah's mansion.

Of course, the bash is being thrown by Kris Jenner and her sidekick, Bruce.

Why would Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari break off their engagement right after her WEDDING DRESS photoshoot? We came up with 4 awesome theories ... kinda ... sorta.

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ they've been going over their favorite passages in hopes of picking a few to be engraved on their wedding bands. We're told Kim will pick a passage for Kris' ring, and Kris will pick one to be engraved on Kim's.

According to our sources ... they are each taking it very seriously and they both want to pick something "with meaning."

As we previously reported, Kim already has a bible verse engraved into her massive engagement ring.

Only a handful of people attended the shindig Wednesday -- including Craig's 18-year-old daughter, Ella, and Weisz's 4-year-old son, Henry.

NPH and his partner David Burtka have twins together, and Neil tweeted this morning the couple has been engaged for years ... just waiting for it to become legal.

According to People.com, 27-year-old Cutler proposed to the 24-year-old actress (?) during their weekend getaway to Cabo San Lucas.

A rep for Volo Auto Museum in Chicago tells TMZ they would be honored if Prince William and Kate Middleton used the priceless car as transportation for their wedding next month.

The car was purchased specifically for Diana’s visit to the Windy City in 1996 -- her last time in the U.S. before she died -- and it's been sitting in the museum since 2007.

Hef's third wedding is just 10 weeks away, but we're told he hasn't raised a prenup convo because he "actually cares" about Crystal and doesn't want to ask her to sign one.

We're told Crystal doesn't think Hef will bring it up before they tie the knot.

The joke condoms aren't affiliated with the royal family -- but that doesn't make the website's description any less hilarious ... "Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure."

But don't sheath your sword just yet -- there's a disclaimer at the bottom of the site that reads, "Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are a novelty condom not suitable for contraception or protection against STDs."

Baby Spice posted a pic with her ring on and the message, "Yahooooo I'm Engaged! Love you Jade! I'm a very happy lady!"