Weird News

The star chatted up our camera guy on his way to the Ivy, doing some one man comedy about O.J. Simpson's fashion choices, picking who he'd rather -- Paris or Britney -- and even asking if we'd be available to film any upcoming car crashes in which he might find himself.

After filling Ling in on the Juice's legal issues last night in front of Koi, Bai tried to tell us that O.J. needs some new hobbies -- "I hope somebody have more interesting thing to do than just robbering and kidnapping."

The West Hollywood meter maid who seemingly tried to trade nude photos of Vida Guerra in exchange for leniency on a ticket has apparently been relieved of his duties.

TMZ spoke to several on-duty Parking Enforcement Officers, who all agreed that L. Salgado had been "fired" from his ticket writin' job.

According to Parking Enforcement Manager Eric Ruiz, officer L. Salgado will not be patrolling the sidewalks while the City conducts an official investigation into the incident. Furthermore, buzz inside the station is that Salgado, who is said to be 18 or 19-years-old, will be fired.

TMZ caught the whole thing on tape over the weekend, showing that after ticketing Guerra, Salgado was heard telling Vida's friend, "You got a naked picture of her, we make the price stay right."

Cameras spotted the always entertaining wacktress outside of club Play last night, where she was "nice" enough to give TMZ a preview of her new song. That's right, Bai Ling is now a quadruple threat; actress, author, singer and chicken dancer extraordinaire.

Her singing is comparable to a breathier Paris Hilton and a warbling Gollum. Bai Ling sang along with her track as she pumped it from her car stereo -- forgetting some of the words to her own tune! Be warned, this singing excerpt is not for the faint of heart ... or anyone else for that matter.

The 42-year-old "Sex and the City" star turned up at the launch of her new fragrance in New York, tressed-out in Duane "Dog" Chapman's white man's mullet! For the love of Carrie Bradshaw!

Setting up shop in London for the next three weeks, Prince wants things his way at the Dorchester Hotel -- very, very dark.

"He wants everything to be black, from the curtains and carpets to all the furniture," an insider tells the Daily Star. "His entourage even asked for a black M&Ms machine, as well as an oxygen bar which will be manned by a team of foxy women." Hey, Apollonia is probably available -- it's her birthday!!

TMZ has learned that Britney's self-arranged photo shoot and interview with OK! Magazine was a complete disaster. We're told that the photos are so bad, execs at the magazine are, at this moment, trying to decide whether to report what actually happened -- or sanitize the truth to protect the pop train wreck.

According to multiple sources, Britney's behavior during the interview was "nothing less than a meltdown." She was, according to our sources, "completely out of it" during the shoot. The photos are "so bad" we've learned, that to publish them could "kill her career."

Apparently, Brit Brit's eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead. Her mood, we're told, was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks our source says, and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her. Out of control y'all!

We've also learned that Brit had some issues with hygiene on the set as well. At one point, Britney ordered up some fried chicken to munch on. We're told after she chowed down, she wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar dress that she was wearing for the shoot, staining it with grease. Yuck! One of her dogs also needed some assistance in the housebreaking department. Our on-set spy says that the dog pooped all over the floor, and Brit used (what else?) -- a dress to clean it up! How trashtastic!

During last night's four-letter fest in honor of the "Flavor of Love" star, Kimmel was poking fun at the fact that Flav has several children with several different women, when he said that "Chris Benoit is a better father than you." What, too soon?

A TMZ staffer who was at the roast (airing August 12 on Comedy Central) just happened to be sitting next to two censors for the network. When Kimmel made the crack, the censors looked at each other and laughed while shaking their heads "no." One immediately put down "Chris Benoit" on a list of jokes to cut. Another joke to make the list came at the end, when the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli, called the "Flavor of Love" girls sprinkled throughout the audience "nappy headed bitches."

Perez Hilton has thrown down the digital gauntlet and dared Gummi Bear to find out which of them can chow down the most hotdogs -- is this kosher?

The Queen says he's going to be outside of Kitson on Robertson Blvd., Thursday at 5:00 PM, where they'll see which of the two bloated loudmouths can run a mile and then down the most dogs. There she blows!

Perez has asked TMZ boss Harvey Levin to officiate, and he has agreed -- on the condition that they eat only Hebrew National dogs. No word yet from Team Gummi.

"Little Miss Sunshine's" Abigail Breslin is only 11 -- and already has everyone eating out of The Palm of her hand! Move ovah Dakota Fanning ... there's a new kid in town!

The preciously annoying Oscar-nominated celebutween has teamed up with The Palm steakhouse to cook up the chain's first ever summer kids menu. Need a highchair?

Starting July 24, moguls-in-training will be able to choose from items like filet mignon tenders, mac & cheese, steak or sweet potato fries, apple cobbler and brownie cheesecake sundae. Good thing childhood obesity isn't an epidemic! The menu will also include a "child-friendly" version of the their popular Strawberry Mint Lemonade Cocktail. Lindsay Lohan would be proud!

TMZ has learned someone called Children's Services on Britney Spears multiple times last week -- but it turns out he's a nut.

Sources say Britney has a "stalker" who has become irritated with her. The man began calling the L.A. County Department of Child and Family Services and lodging "bizarre" complaints against Spears.

We're told someone from the Department made contact with one of Britney's reps, but it became obvious during the call that the complaints were bogus -- and the matter was dropped.

TMZ spotted the director sucking the nail polish off some random woman's foot at Empress sushi joint on the Sunset Strip recently. After the "meal" and a few drinks, Q posed for pictures and hopefully downed some Scope.

The singer, who just canceled her concert tour over low ticket sales, had the misfortune of getting locked out of her car last night just as she was engulfed by a paparazzi storm. Damn childproof locks!

After dining with Reba McEntire at Koi -- where the country legend announced the two will be performing a duet together on an upcoming album -- Little Miss Clarkson retreated to her SUV ... well, she tried to. With the keys not working on the passenger door, photogs began bombarding Clarkson with questions about her plagued album and scrapped tour -- the original "American Idol" became very visibly uncomfortable.

TMZ was at the trainwreck-heavy birthday party for porn star Mary Carey Friday night at Club Play, where the "Lost" guest star was quick to show off her "moves" on the dance floor.

The King may have left the building but his prescription pills are still here: A bottle that contained Elvis Presley's prescription antihistamines was sold this week at an auction for more than $2,600. That's a mighty expensive prescription plan! While the bottle still contained some of The King's original pills, L.A. County police told auction house Julien's that it would be a federal crime to sell the bottle with pills included.