Weird News

Master P is blaming his birthday flash mob meltdown on Ashton Kutcher ... telling TMZ he thought he was being "Punk'd." Seriously ...

Problem is ... Ashton wasn't there and had NOTHING to do with the botched surprise party.

You remember the scene ... Master P and his son Romeo stormed away from the surprise birthday dancing flash mob organized specifically for the No Limit founder in L.A. last week.

At the time, one of the organizers chased after P and begged him to stay ... but the rapper ignored her pleas and hightailed it outta there anyway.

But last night on his way into Mr. Chow, P seemed to realize he overreacted -- and THANKED the real people behind the surprise (friends and loved ones). He also offered up his "Punk'd" conspiracy theory. Ya gotta hear it.

"Nobody ever did that for me before," Master P said.

... and after the way he reacted, we're guessing no one will ever do it again.

Wyclef Jean says he wants to convert weapons into music ... so he made himself a guitar shaped like an AK-47 ASSAULT RIFLE ... and whipped it out on the streets of NYC.

Interesting concept ... but brandishing something that looks like a FIREARM in the middle of the street???

Pretty ballsy move ... especially considering law enforcement in the city is on high alert ever since officials discovered those terrorist brothers were targeting New York.

Check out the video -- 'Clef not only explains the idea behind the musical weaponry ... but actually lets our guy PLAY the assault guitar, while the founding Fugee sings along.

Here's former child star turned perfectly bronzed and coiffed "Splash" host Joey Lawrence in L.A. on Monday (left) -- and Jude Law as the humanoid robot Gigolo Joe in the 2001 flick "A.I.: Artificial Intelligence" (right).

Whoa.

Anne Hathaway's parents didn't raise her right -- because she hopped into the car of a TOTAL STRANGER ... rather than have to talk to one of our photogs.

The "Bride Wars" star had just landed at LAX and rushed right into the first waiting SUV she could find, but it wasn't her ride. Rather than get out of the car, she politely asked the driver if she could stay until her car came ... and he said yes!

Anne's ride eventually showed and she quickly jumped out of the wrong car and into the right one.

Rebecca Martinson -- the sorority girl whose expletive-filled email set the Internet on fire this week -- clearly thinks her former sisters are no fun, so a webcam site wants to give her the chance to hang out with some livelier ladies (aka STRIPPERS).

The folks at ScoresLive.com are reaching out to Martinson (who quit her sorority after the email went viral) to give her the chance to come work for them ... as an online chat host for certain "special events."

In their offer letter, the folks at Scores attempted to butter up the volatile Martinson by saying, "We feel with your 'girl next door' looks and your unique use of vocabulary you would be a perfect fit."

The gig would not require nudity (but would pay more if she were willing) and even includes at $10,000 signing bonus ... which is less than the guys in the NFL Draft get this weekend, but awesome for a college kid.

Master P hates flash mobs ... HATES THEM ... at least, it seemed that way when he stormed away from a mob that was organized especially for his birthday yesterday ... and TMZ got the whole thing on tape.

P was enjoying a nice relaxing lunch with his son Romeo in Santa Monica ... when a flash mob broke out right in front of Master P's table.

But Mr. P clearly wasn't amused ... and right in the middle of the performance (during a Gangnam Style routine), the No Limit founder got out of his seat and beelined it for the exit, clearly upset.

As he left the restaurant, a woman connected to the event chased after P and begged him to come back ... saying, "Don't leave ... it's your birthday."

The woman also told P the name of the person who organized the event in the hopes P would have a change of heart ... but P didn't care, and continued to storm off.

On his way out, we commented to P, "That didn't go like they planned, huh?"

His response -- "Nah, it did not."

So, why was P so pissed off? We're trying to find out ... maybe he just isn't a fan of Psy?

10:05 AM PT -- We just spoke to Phil's coach, who told us ... "This is a nasty custody battle, and people are gonna say things that are completely not true ... He's one of the nicest people ... he's a Christian and he's a role model. In fact, he just got back from the Dominican Republic building churches and schools."

And here's a weird one ... Vantris just posted on Facebook that it's all a lie ... saying "Those pictures are not even me ... ." Never mind that she's SAID she filed the same photos ... in court documents.

UFC star Phil Davis has a huge fight Saturday night in New Jersey, but the bigger fight may be May 7 in San Diego, where his baby mama will accuse him of crazy brutality, including violent sex ... and she blames it on martial arts.

According to legal docs -- obtained by TMZ -- Vantris Patterson claims Davis body slammed her on a couch with such force ... when the couch slid into the wall paint came off. She took pictures (below) which she claims show the injuries.

And Patterson says, Davis -- aka Mr. Wonderful -- would often choke her during intercourse, and when she'd plead with him to stop he'd respond, "Shut the f*** up, bitch."

She says Davis has threatened to kill her numerous times if she ever slept with another man.

Now here's the hook -- Patterson claims Davis' alleged propensity for violence has escalated because of his involvement in the UFC. She says, "I am afraid that the numerous fights have negatively impacted his mental stability," and she can't defend herself because of his "increased strength and attacking ability."

Davis makes his own claims ... that Patterson is the violent one who put a pic of a Glock up on Facebook and wrote, "... His day will come." He also says she texted him, "I can't wait until the day you die so I can spit in ur face [painful and slow]."

As for his MMA training, Davis says he's never used his skills outside the Octagon.

When they're in court on May 7, they're both asking for permanent restraining orders and each wants full custody.

Forget Magnums ... Eli Roth's strapping up with extra small rubbers these days ... thanks to a nasty bite from an OCTOPUS in Hawaii.

Eli tells TMZ, he recently overcame his fear of the ocean while on vacation in the Aloha State -- following a terrifying sea urchin attack in 2010 -- and decided to test the waters with a sea scooter expedition.

But curiosity got the best of him when he reached out to touch a baby octopus ... and the 8-legged bastard bit him on the pinky.

Eli -- the man behind the new Netflix series "Hemlock Grove" -- says his finger bled profusely for hours after the bite, and now he's gotta keep the wound covered with little pinky condoms until it heals.

And the best part, if he ever runs out ... he can always ask Justin Bieber for spares.

Mark Wahlberg's offer to reunite with the Funky Bunch is even more impressive when you realize he'd be sharing the stage with a guy named "Hector the Booty Inspector." Heart o' gold ... that Marky Mark.

Former Philadelphia Eagles QB and soup pitchman Donovan McNabb was put to the test -- when asked to name the best soup of all-time. Get ready ... for the first (and probably last) Soup-er Bowl!

She can't pee in a toilet ... and you probably can't milk her nipples ... but Internet cat sensation Lil Bub is still BFFs with Robert De Niro.

"The World's Cutest Cat" and De Niro hit it off earlier today at the Tribeca Film Festival in NYC ... Mr. Jinx be damned.

De Niro's been dying to meet Bub ever since he heard she'd be featured at the festival -- telling the Hollywood Reporter, he REALLY wanted to take a picture with the deformed feline ... and De Niro always gets what he wants.

(FYI, Bub suffers from several genetic mutations including dwarfism, polydactylism, and a deformed lower jaw.)

Now, a word from Jack Byrnes on why cats are better than dogs...

That was fast ... a rookie news anchor in North Dakota has been fired before he even started ... less than a day after dropping an embarrassing f-bomb on live TV.

The anchor's name is A.J. Clemente -- and you have to see the footage, which aired yesterday ... his first day on the job. It's incredible. Not only does he cuss on the air, he also plain sucks.

And A.J.'s superiors didn't waste any time cutting him loose -- he tweeted this morning, saying he'd been canned over the flub. He wrote, "Rookie mistake. I'm a free agent. Can't help but laugh at myself and stay positive. Wish i didnt trip over my 'Freaking Shoes' out of the gate."

Arnold Schwarzenegger's no longer just wining and dining new GF Heather Milligan ... he's showing her off to friends during double-dates.

Arnie and Heather hit Spago in Bev Hills this week with another couple ... we're told the the guy is an old friend of Arnold's.

By the way, Heather is reportedly 38 years old ... while Arnie is 65 -- and his buddy seems to be around that same age.

Sooo ... gotta wonder what the dinner conversation was like during the foursome's night on the town.

Question: Where is the last place on Earth you should bring your dad and your kid?
Answer: Your sex tape negotiation. Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

But that's exactly what "Teen Mom" star Farrah Abraham did on Sunday when she hit up the offices of Vivid Entertainment to negotiate a possible deal for her sex tape.

Farrah told our photog she is negotiating with two other companies and that she is considering Vivid's offer. She said she only brought her father along "for support" ... but when you check out the video, you can tell how uncomfortable he is about the whole thing.

Our photog also spoke to Vivid honcho Steve Hirsch after the meeting ... and even he thought bringing a young child to a porn office was a bad idea.

At least someone is the voice of reason.

Boston Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was a big fan of "Breaking Bad" ... praising the show for teaching him how to dispose of corpses.

Since his capture Friday ... a lot of information is surfacing about the 19-year-old Chechan college student who helped mastermind a deadly attack on the Boston Marathon and led police on a massive manhunt.

Turns out Dzhokhar was a fan of violent TV shows ... in particular "Game of Thrones" and "Breaking Bad."

He tweeted earlier this year ... "Breaking Bad taught me how to dispose of a corpse."

As TMZ previously reported, his 26-year-old brother Tamerlan -- who was killed by cops during the manhunt -- was deep into hip hop.

Kevin Hart's never shied away from a good ol' fashioned racism joke -- but even he was stumped by Mexican Barbie. What? Stick a chihuahua under a doll's arm and everyone gets bent outta shape!