Weird News

Callahan, the crime fighting llama, needs to find a new watering hole -- because a public health investigation just got his ass banned from a popular Hollywood nightclub.

TMZ broke the story -- Como T. Llama, the camelid star of the show "Llama Cop," dropped by nightclub Bootsy Bellows recently for a premiere party, enraging the Los Angeles Department of Health.

The inspector tells us, he officially admonished the club -- which admitted allowing Como inside for the private party -- and reminded management that ZERO live animals, other than service animals, are allowed inside.

The club assured the health department it was an isolated incident -- and according to the inspector, vowed never to let it happen again.

We're told the club can only be cited if the inspector witnesses the incident first hand -- so Bootsy got off with a verbal warning this time, but it's now on the health department's radar.

"The Program" star Andrew Bryniarski claims his neighbor stabbed him with a shank made out of tweezers ... and now, he wants justice.

Andrew claims his neighbor Frank Harvey was caught by another neighbor rifling through Bryniarski's trunk back in November ... and when he approached Harvey a few days later about it, he got attacked.

In the docs, Bryniarski says Harvey said "Suck my d**k" and lunged at him -- a fight started -- but eventually Andrew says he got his neighbor to the ground and noticed he was holding a weapon.

Andrew says his neighbor was threatening to kill him ... so he refused to release the guy until he dropped the weapons from his hands -- which he claims were a wrench and a 8 in. shank made out of tweezers.

According to the docs, Andrew got a temporary restraining order on Harvey ... but Andrew's lawyer says the guy bailed on their court hearing and now he's M.I.A.

Naturally, the actor has himself a reality star for a lawyer. Andrew's case will be featured on "Loredana, Esq." on the Sundance Channel.

It's not hard for John Oates to listen to music in bed ... in fact it's NEVER hard, because he can't get a boner.

We got Oates in NYC Friday night and asked him how many people lost their virginity to Hall & Oates songs ... and he volunteered why he can't get hard listening to ANY music.

It looked like a Jackson 5 reunion ... when a Michael Jackson impersonator got together with 4 Jackson brothers Saturday at their concert in Vegas -- but it cost him a pretty penny.

Carlo Riley -- an MJ tribute artist -- tells TMZ he finally got to meet Jermaine, Tito, Marlon and Jackie at their Planet Hollywood show ... but he had to pay for the privilege.

Riley says he flew to Vegas from Denver and dropped $400 dollars for a VIP package that included front row seats, an autographed program and a backstage meet-and-greet with the Jacksons.

Carlo tells us the backstage visit was quick ... he shook hands with the brothers who told him they were impressed by how much he looks like their brother. And during the show, he says the Jacksons pointed to him in the front row ... where he was dancing and taking photos with other fans.

Pretty cool ... but it still can't compare to the time he met Michael himself in Japan in 2007.

The nursing home that allowed a male stripper to do his thing with female Alzheimer's patients also satisfied the male patients -- with a big basket of wings at Hooters.

Sources who work at the East Neck Nursing Center in New York tell TMZ ... a while back the men took a field trip to Hooters, and some of the female patients started to grumble.

The nursing home holds resident counsel meetings and one of the women -- who is now dead -- pushed through a proposal to bring a male stripper to the joint for an entertainment day.

And that's why a male stripper showed up at the facility and wooed an 85-year-old woman with Alzheimer's and a few dollar bills. Her son sued the nursing home claiming she was swindled.

We've been flooded with calls and emails from people who have connections to nursing homes and tell us strippers have been guests at their facilities as well. The dude below -- Black Caesar -- called into "TMZ Live" Tuesday and said he's stripped at nursing homes himself.

Others have contacted us and insisted ... people with Alzheimer's and dementia have sexual urges and feel pleasure from such human interaction.

Really too bad that old lady died before she could see the fruits of her labor.

Move over grassy knoll ... there's a new conspiracy in town -- animal regulators in Texas REFUSE to necropsy the dead animal some believe to be a Chupacabra.

Mike Cox (yes, really) from the Texas Parks and Wildlife Dept. tells TMZ ... there's no reason to perform tests on the raccoon-like animal captured in Ratcliff, TX this week because his agency has determined Chupacabras are mythical creatures.

TMZ sadly broke the story ... the couple that captured the animal -- which they named Chupie -- had it put down after they were told it was suffering. The know-it-alls convinced them it was a mange-riddled raccoon.

So, we asked, what is the scientific basis to definitely exclude a Chupacabra as a possibility? Cox fired back, "There hasn't been a new mammal discovered in Texas in centuries."

Oh really Cox? Well, Smithsonian scientists announced last August ... they had discovered a new species of mammal called the Olinguito ... part of the raccoon family.

So there are still undiscovered treasures in the animal kingdom ... even mangy ones.

As for the the final resting place of Chupie ... it's a fireplace mantle. The finders are taking it to a taxidermist.

Andrew Dice Clay hates his marriage but he loves his wife -- so he filed for divorce ... even though the comedian plans to stay with his woman 'til death do they part.

The Diceman filed the papers last month -- but he tells TMZ, it's NOT because he wants to get away from his wife Valerie Vasquez.

56-year-old Clay says, "The word 'marriage' was putting a pressure on our relationship and since we filed, we’ve been more in love and have had more respect for each other than ever before." Clay says the couple even celebrated their divorce at a fancy Hollywood restaurant.

Vasquez and Clay were married in Vegas on Valentine's Day in 2010. They have no kids together.

Someone dropped the 'Chupacabra' ... permanently -- TMZ has learned the weird-looking creature captured in Ratcliff, Texas has been put down.

Jackie Stock, the woman who found the animal which resembles a raccoon with mange tells TMZ ... she was advised to euthanize the animal because it was suffering.

Stock said after video of the creature went wide Thursday ... PETA started sending her and her husband messages, saying they were upset by the fact that the animal was in captivity and not receiving proper treatment.

She was also told if the animal really was a Chupacabra, it would have sucked the blood out of the goats next door before its capture. Stock was advised it was most likely a raccoon with mange that was in pain.

Stock adds the animal was never examined or tested to specifically identify it.

She took it to the shelter and was told "it went to sleep very peacefully," adding, "I had gotten attached. I was calling him Chupie. He will be missed."

Leave it to Texas … a family claims they have captured a Chupacabra in their own backyard … forgetting momentarily the creature DOES NOT EXIST.

According to legend, a Chupacabra eats livestock and is known to drink their blood. Local news interviewed the family at their home in a small town in South Texas, and the husband told KABC, "I hunted coons for 20 years with dogs and I ain't never seen nothing looks like that right there."

A wildlife expert guessed the creature was probably some kind of canine suffering from mange, though the creature in the video can be seen eating with its hands ... leading a lot of people to think it's some kind of raccoon.

The LAPD is conducting a formal Internal Affairs investigation triggered by photos obtained by TMZ ... in which a patrol officer appears to have let a woman he stopped sit on his chopper as he took a bunch of photos ... then allegedly let her go without ticketing her.

The incident occurred Friday afternoon in the mid-Wilshire area of L.A. An eyewitness tells TMZ ... the cop stopped the woman ... apparently for running a stop sign.

We're told the officer got off his bike and appeared ready to write her up, but the eyewitness says the woman began flirting ... apparently with some success.

The eyewitness says the woman got out of the car and mounted his motorcycle, with his permission. He took her phone and obligingly began snapping pics.

TMZ was flooded with emails and phone calls this morning tipping us off that Johnny Depp just married Amber Heard ... but now we know they were all fooled by a PHENOMENAL impersonator.

A guy who looks just like Jack Sparrow tied the knot yesterday at the Ventura County Courthouse. It was a real marriage ... not a hoax.

The guy was a DEAD RINGER for Depp (above) ... even dressed just like him. Everyone thought he was really Johnny ... and lots of Depp fans took pics with him.

Let's hope the wedding video comes out better than the "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequels.

David Blaine is still the king of street magic ... and last night he proved it yet again by doing a crazy card trick for one lucky (and mildly frightened) TMZ photog.

Blaine was outside of Acabar in Hollywood where -- after a lot of off-camera begging from our guy -- he agreed to perform a trick. It started as your standard "pick a card" routine, but of course ... that's not how it ended.

We've seen desperate attempts to break into Hollywood before, but this is legendary -- an L.A. homeless woman has filed a lawsuit against Halle Berry, Amanda Bynes, Armie Hammer, and Disney ... for the express purpose of pitching them a TV show.

Jo Anne Vandegriff -- who describes herself as homeless -- freely admits the suit is a ploy to get everyone in a room so she can sell her 2,000-page original Civil War romance mini-series, "Heaven's Angels."

Vandegriff describes her script as "an extraordinary work in its length, complexity, and scope, though not yet a masterpiece work."

Vandegriff is targeting Disney because she wants to open up the studio -- which she claims produces lily-white content -- to Black and Hispanic females.

She doesn't apologize for using the legal system to make a buck, because, as she says in the lawsuit, "a mini-series of this nature only comes along once every twenty to thirty years."

So why sue Halle? Vandegriff wants her in the leading role. As for Amanda ... it would be a great comeback for her. And Armie ... he could finally be a leading man (and rid himself of the "Lone Ranger" stink -- that's our take).

And Vandegriff promises her script will help stimulate the economy ... and promote "peace and harmony, health and happiness."

The guy who correctly guessed the remaining letters in "Ne_ ____ _____" on "Wheel of Fortune" last night -- ON HIS FIRST TRY -- tells TMZ, the game was not rigged ... he really did pull the right answer out of his ass.

Emil De Leon -- who won $45,000 for the insane guess -- is a nursing student at the NCP College of Nursing in San Fran ... and while the show was being filmed in January, he was studying pediatrics.

Emil says he had babies on his mind during the show and got completely lucky -- once you watch the clip, you'll understand why this makes sense. Emil also says he's watched "Wheel of Fortune" forever and he's pretty much a pro at solving word puzzles.

Emil adds, Pat Sajak and Vanna White even pulled him aside afterward and told him he was one of the best players ever.

As for what Emil plans to do with his money -- he says he'll be putting most of it towards his nursing degree ... but plans to splurge a little on a trip to Cabo very soon.

See if you can guess Emil's answer before watching the clip.

The "Jeopardy" champ who angered viewers for cheating the system and making the game dull as dirt is now going redneck ... something even more difficult than Obscure Painters for $1,000.

Arthur Chu -- a name not immediately associated with farmer's tans and pickup trucks -- is taking to the stage ... and he's feeling generous. Artie scored nearly $300K on the show, so he's taking to the stage in Ohio and offering his services for free.

Arthur -- who has done acting and voiceover work -- agreed to work gratis on the play, "Handle With Care" ... about a young Israeli woman who falls in love after coming to America. Arthur says he plays a "dumb redneck."

"Naked and Afraid" might be the grossest show on television … because just LISTENING to two contestants talk about the various bodily fluid-related obstacles they had to deal with made us sick.

Our photog caught up with Laura Zerra and EJ Snyder from the new season of the show (which debuted last night) and their stories of bug bites, poop trenches, and "time of the month problems" turned our stomachs.

Let's just put it this way ... the phrase "X marks the spot " has a whole new meaning now.