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Kobe Bryant took it all the way back to 1992 Monday night ... busting out a slam poem about the legendary Steve Urkel from "Family Matters" -- and he kinda killed it.

The Mamba delivered his performance on "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" -- and with a soft bongo beat in the background, Kobe waxed poetically about Steve vs. Stefan.

He even dropped a "Did I Do That?"

So many questions ...

Colin Kaepernick turned up in Brooklyn, NY on Monday -- hanging at the Chris Brown concert at the Barclays Center where he posed for a photo with boxing star Adrien Broner.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. is waving the white flag on his storied career -- announcing he'll retire from NASCAR after the 2017 season.

The 42-year-old has racked up 26 wins (including TWO Daytona 500 victories) in 603 starts since turning pro in 1999.

He suffered a concussion back in 2016 that forced him to miss roughly half the season -- but he's since returned to the track and now the retirement tour begins.

Think Kobe Bryant ... but faster.

We recently got Dale Jr. out and talked about his recent marriage and the possibility of kids in his future ... and whether he would pass on the famous Dale Earnhardt name.

The moment a massive earthquake struck off the coast of Chile Monday an adorable little dog sprang into action ... running for his life.

The harrowing moment was captured on video by a guy in Valparaiso, Chile -- the 7.1 magnitude quake struck 22 miles off the coast of the port city. He was outside on his deck when the shaking hit and the pup, looks like a dachshund, started barking and sprinting.

The dog eventually makes it into the apartment and finds its owners. There are no immediate reports of damage or serious injuries.

Shaquille O'Neal says WWE is squarely to blame for dropping the ball on his highly anticipated WrestleMania 33 matchup with Big Show ... saying, "They messed it up."

The 7-footers had been calling each other out for months in the hopes of colliding in the squared circle at the biggest wrestling event of the year ... but it didn't happen.

Mel B says her estranged husband is involved in the porn industry, and that means he shouldn't be allowed to have unmonitored visitation with their kids.

Mel B's attorneys are in court fighting Stephen Belafonte's efforts to regain visitation rights. Mel currently has a restraining order which bans him from all contact with the kids.

In court, her counsel said there was "evidence" on multiple computers in the family home that indicates he's connected to porn, and possibly shooting it himself. They claim there's a paper trail on him renting spaces around L.A. to shoot porn.

The hearing is still in progress, but so far the judge is leaning toward awarding Stephen monitored visits with Madison, the daughter they have together. However, the judge is also denying Stephen's efforts to get any visitation with Angel ... Mel and Eddie Murphy's daughter.

Guests have arrived to Aaron Hernandez's funeral in Bristol, Connecticut -- including family members, friends and NFL stars.

Aaron's close friends, Mike and Maurkice Pouncey, arrived earlier in the day and spent time at the funeral home before the service.

Mike -- who plays for the Miami Dolphins -- was spotted using a cane due to a recent hip surgery.

Both Mike and Maurkice have known Hernandez since they were teammates at the University of Florida and spoke with him in prison regularly.

NFL wide receiver Riley Cooper -- who also played college ball with Hernandez -- was on the guest list though it's unclear if he has arrived.

Brandon Spikes was also on hand. Spikes played with Hernandez in college and with the New England Patriots.

Aaron's mother and brother are in attendance and flanked by security and police officers.

President Trump was pretty dumbfounded after learning NASA astronauts are drinking their own urine in space ... and he has a message for them -- "Better you than me!!"

The prez on Monday asked Peggy Whitson -- who video chatted as the new NASA record holder for most days in space -- what astronauts are learning up there.

Peggy revealed this golden nugget -- astronauts are purifying their urine to make it drinkable!

Zlatan Ibrahimovic vows to return to professional soccer after his recent knee injury -- and he posted a photo of his insanely vascular legs to make his point.

The Manchester United star destroyed his knee Thursday -- and the team is describing it as "significant ligament damage." There are reports it's so bad, the 35-year-old might never play again.

But Zlatan says that's a bunch of crap ... he'll be back.

In a social media post, Zlatan acknowledged he'll be "out of football for a while" ... but added, "I will go through this like everythings else and come back even stronger."

You'd think Kyrie Irving would get a pardon in Ohio over his whole "The Earth is flat" comments -- but, nah ... that ain't happening.

The latest person to roast the Cleveland Cavs star over his insanely misguided comments is Ohio governor John Kasich ... who happens to be a pretty big Kyrie fan!

But even Kasich couldn't help himself from taking a shot at the NBA superstar over the weekend.

At least he went softer than notorious smart guy Neil deGrasse Tyson, who said all flat-Earthers should be launched into space!

Serena Williams is opening up about her pregnancy -- with an emotional message to her unborn child describing how the experience is changing her life.

Paulie Giganti -- a star on "Hell's Kitchen" who was found dead in his home Thursday -- accidentally OD'd ... TMZ has confirmed.

The Philadelphia Medical Examiner's Office tells us Giganti's body tested positive for drugs from a standard urine drug screen. The office wouldn't say which drug or drugs were found in the chef's body.

Law enforcement sources tell us cops got a call Thursday from a neighbor for a foul odor. When cops showed up, they found the door wide open and his body sprawled on the floor of his bedroom.

Giganti -- who famously feuded with Gordon Ramsay in season 16 -- was 36.

HUGE NEWS from Ice Cube Friday morning ... courtesy of his co-star and movie dad, John Witherspoon -- there's a new 'Friday' movie coming!

John was on the radio in Orlando when he dropped the bombshell news, saying he'd just spoken to Cube, who told him the project got the greenlight from studio honchos.

It's been 15 years since "Friday After Next" ... and a lot's changed since then. Cube's a bonafide power player in Hollywood now -- with the success of "Straight Outta Compton" -- which could mean bigger budget for the 'Friday' sequel.

The big question: can he get Chris Tucker, aka Smokey, back this time?

Aaron Hernandez's fiancee is concerned evidence from the ex-NFL's star's death could be discarded ... so she's suing the Dept. of Corrections to make sure they preserve every single thing that could possibly prove he didn't kill himself.

Shayanna Jenkins -- the mother of Aaron's 4-year-old daughter -- filed court docs Wednesday asking a superior court judge to prevent state officials from destroying video recordings, physical evidence and prison records connected to Hernandez.

And why?

Aaron's attorney, Jose Baez, has suggested Hernandez's death wasn't suicide -- it was murder -- and he vowed to run his own investigation to get to the truth.

It appears Jenkins is doing her part to help Baez's investigation.

The judge is hearing the matter Friday.

Sandy Gallin -- who repped the likes of Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Cher, Richard Pryor, Barbra Streisand, Whoopi Goldberg, Neil Diamond, Donny and Marie, and many, many others -- has died ... TMZ has learned.

Gallin was clinging to life at UCLA Medical Center where he was in ICU after suffering a relapse of multiple myeloma, a type of blood cancer.

The former powerful Hollywood manager's condition had deteriorated over the last few days to the point his closest friends -- including Calvin Klein, Jeffrey Katzenberg, David Geffen and many others -- visited Sandy in the hospital.

Gallin's powerful clout in Hollywood transcended into politics as one of the Democratic party's driving forces ... raising millions for various candidates and causes. Gallin, who is gay, also lent huge support to gay rights legislation.

He also found success in real estate ... making untold millions as the house flipper to the stars.

Gallin was 76.

#RIP

Jameis Winston didn't always dream of becoming a superstar in the NFL ... instead, the Tampa Bay Bucs QB says he wanted to work on FEET for a living.

The Pro Bowl signal caller revealed his childhood inspiration in a Twitter Q&A ... saying a family podiatrist left such a big impact on his life, he wanted to follow in her FOOTsteps.

Winston says the doc helped out with his grandma's type 2 diabetes and his dad's "terrible feet," and he developed a strong relationship with her over the years.