Humor

Jon Voight still has a vicious set of chompers ... 21 years after his infamous "Seinfeld" bite, he flexed his powerful jaws again.

Our photog caught up with Jon at LAX Thursday and talked about the 1994 episode where George compares teeth marks on a pencil to the bite mark Jon left on Kramer's arm.

You gotta see the clip -- Jon was happy to recreate the awesome Seinfeld scene. And yeah ... the pencil's definitely going in our TMZ hall of fame.

As soon as we get one.

Conan O'Brien's no Fat Jewish -- he insists he and his staff came up with the jokes they're accused of stealing from a blogger ... who's not all that original anyway, according to Conan's new legal docs.

Robert Kaseberg sued Conan for copyright infringement, claiming several of his monologue jokes were lifted from Kaseberg's online blog -- but Conan responded to the suit this week, saying his material is 100% "independently created."

Truth is, some of the jokes are very similar -- but Conan says Kaseberg's comedy was so general and based on current events, it can't be copyrighted. For instance, they wrote almost identical shrinkage quips about an announcement the Washington Monument is 10 inches shorter than previously thought.

Conan's kinda calling Kaseberg's jokes lame. Yes, that also comes off like a shot at his own monologue writers, but Conan's bigger point is you can't steal something so unoriginal.

Marlon Wayans has a perfectly good explanation as to why his 12-year-old son is such a terror on the b-ball court ... the kid's actually father could be NBA star Steph Curry!!

Remember people ... Marlon is a comedian.

We got Wayans leaving Equinox in L.A. when we asked about his son Shawn ... who's freakin' dominating the middle school hoops circuit these days.

Check out the clip -- Marlon says he has absolutely ZERO hoops talent ... so there's only one way the kid could be so deadly on the court ... the DNA of the best player in the league.

Now that we look ... there is a slight ... naw.

Talk about revisionist history ... the Cal Golden Bears posted a little #TBT Thursday -- reminiscing about the time Marshawn Lynch led Cal over Oregon in overtime back in 2005.

Problem is ... it didn't really happen that way.

Fact is ... #23 Cal LOST to #15 Oregon 27-20 thanks to a 4-yard TD pass from Brady Leaf in OT.

Lynch had 2 touchdowns of his own that game ... but definitely no game winning heroics.

Tiger Woods' caddy is a complete MORON for comparing his job to slavery ... because, "For the money [Tiger] was paying this guy, he should've bent over and let Tiger shove the clubs into his ... "

Well, you get the point.

These are the thoughts of Jim Norton -- a huge comic who's been in movies like "Trainwreck" and "Cop Out."

The caddy under fire is Steve Williams -- who just wrote a book about his time as Tiger's right-hand man in which he claimed the working conditions were so bad, "It was like I was his slave."

So, when we saw Norton out in NYC Wednesday, he didn't take kindly to Steve's comments ... saying, "He makes me sick to my stomach. ... [he] could have just quit the job if [he] didn't like it."

You gotta love the honesty from Eric Dickerson ... who says if he was a young, star athlete today -- there's no way he'd date just one woman ... he'd try to sample ALL of the Kardashians!!!

This clip is awesome ... the NFL Hall of Famer tells TMZ Sports, athletes should go out and have a good time and enjoy ALL of the perks of being a celebrity ... as long as they do their job.

But when we specifically asked about Kim, Khloe, Kendall and the rest of the K-squad, Dickerson's answer was the best.

"Let me put it to you like this here ... if I was in my 20's, I'd be dating them all."

Everyone can go home now, Verne Troyer has won "Hotline Bling."

Verne uploaded this epic video to his Facebook ... every frame is a GIF-able moment.

Your move, Drake. On second thought, you're now in second.

Sen. Bernie Sanders ain't afraid to get his "Hotline Bling" on, but he's terrified at the thought of someone actually VOTING for him because he gets turnt on the dance floor.

The presidential candidate was in D.C. Wednesday ... riding the popularity wave of the viral video Ellen DeGeneres made this week of Bernie doing his best Drizzy.

So, check this out ... the senator is clearly aware his clip's now a thing on the Internet -- and it might help him reach a new audience. It's also clear that if he wins the White House we won't be watching him whip, nae nae, stanky leg or hit the quan ... in the Rose Garden.

And that's good.

Hipster Barbie --- who took Instagram by storm -- died Wednesday after 22 weeks on the social media app.

The account's owner, Darby Cisneros, finally revealed herself and declared she is shutting down the account after becoming an overnight sensation and gaining more than 1.3 million followers.

Cisneros tells us she never intended for it to be a long term project and started it as a simple way to mock hipsters. Ironically, Hipster Barbie went mainstream. Totally not hipster.

She says she got offers from big companies to do promos, but naturally turned them all down. Totally hipster.

Cisneros thinks this is the perfect time to shut it down because HB is still relevant.

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Michelle Rodriguez says members of the LGBT community who are upset over her gender reassignment movie "Tomboy" are missing a big point.

GLAAD is upset about the movie's storyline ... a male assassin who is tricked into undergoing gender reassignment surgery.

Michelle feels strongly ... the fact that movies are being made with transgender themes is a victory in itself.

Bindi Irwin and Derek Hough have rumors brewin' ... 'cause during "Dancing with the Stars" it sounded like one of 'em let a celebration fart rip.

At the end of Monday night's results show, Bindi and Derek found out they were safe. Derek promptly scooped up his 17-year-old partner and you can clearly hear the alleged toot. It's unclear just who done it, but it sounds way too much like a didgeridoo to not at least bring Bindi in for questioning.

But hey, if all else fails ... blame a dingo.

Kevin Hart ain't got time for amateurs ... something a Hollywood nightclub MC learned the hard way when he foolishly tried to go insult-for-insult with Kevin in front of the whole club.

The impromptu roast broke out at Project Club LA over the weekend. The MC, Branden King, got Kevin onstage to pump up the crowd for the Halloween party. Good move on Branden's part.

The bad move came when he decided to retaliate after Kevin ribbed him about not dressing up for Halloween. Branden dared to bust a short joke (a good one) on Hart, and then things got ugly ... and hysterical!

John Kasich was true to his word Friday, trying to insert himself in interviews ... even with the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Arnold showed up at the Montage hotel in Bev Hills for a Kasich fundraiser, when our photog asked if his super good-looking son Patrick would ever run for a political office ... after all, he's a Kennedy.

Arnold was guarded, and that's when Johnny jumped in with his 2 cents, which honestly made it a little entertaining.

Mark Cuban -- swag game weak.

The Dallas Mavericks owner is havin' a tough week -- first, he loses to the Clippers ... and now, one of his own players is blasting his fashion sense.

Chandler Parsons went to Twitter to try and social media shame his boss -- posting a pic of Cuban in a Three Commas t-shirt, a pair of dad jeans and some sneaks ... with the caption, "NBA needs a new dress code for owners."

BTW, we didn't think the shirt was thaaaat bad.

There was a problem. Ice did not solve it ... instead the rapper watched helplessly as his friend was bucked off a horse at a polo practice ... and TMZ Sports has the video.

Ice was shooting for his reality show "The Vanilla Ice Project" and trotted out some horses at the Grand Champions Polo Club in Wellington, Florida so he and his friend Wes Kain could learn how to play.

But while Ice was shooting a selfie video, Kain got the heave-ho from his horse ... and rolled off the back of the animal.

Seems Mark Cuban buried the hatchet with Clippers owner Steve Ballmer Thursday night ... 'cause last night, they were blowing kisses to each other on kiss cam.

Cuban and Ballmer were both at Staples Center for the first time their teas faced off since the infamous DeAndre Jordan incident over the summer ... where D.A. backed out of a deal with the Mavs and re-signed with the Clips.

You knew there was gonna be tension between the owners ... but nothing a little smoochie smooch couldn't fix, as captured by our friends at BSO.