Humor

Yep, that headline is a direct reference to Michael Irvin's junk.

We were talking with the Playmaker about celebrity underwear endorsers (yeah, it was a weird convo) ... when we brought up guys like Justin Bieber, who's a spokesperson for Calvin Klein undies.

That's when Irvin told us point-blank he couldn't rock the same drawers as JB because of ... well ... junk size.

"Those are small guys. I may not be able to fit in their underwear ... if you know what I mean."

Bold statement considering the whole "Bieber's Got a Huge Penis" revelation of 2015 (remember that?).

Kevin Federline's first rap track in 9 years goes deep into the Hollywood scene -- and by deep we mean Kanye West's ass and Amber Rose's fingers.

The song's called "Hollywood" and the music video stars a fake 'Ye and fake Amber, umm ... working out their finger issues (lube included). It also features a parody of Leonardo DiCaprio sweating out the Oscars.

The track itself is a collabo with rapper Crichy Crich (of Tara Reid tattoo fame). Sources connected to the rap duo tell us their intent wasn't to mock Yeezus or Leo ... they were just reacting to what was hot on social media when they shot the video.

Some days you're on bottom, some days you're IN it.

Out of total fairness, we sure hope these contortionists switch roles every now and then.

The International Contortion Convention is going down in Las Vegas this week, and as you can see ... it can be a dirty job.

One man's poster is another man's cherished memory ... 'cause Terry Crews says not only was he not embarrassed he got dunked on by Shaq ... he was actually HONORED.

Terry was out at LAX when we asked him about the video that's gone viral ... Shaq punishing Crews with a one-handed tomahawk blast in a celebrity game last Sunday.

One might think TC -- a former NFL player -- might be a little miffed he got yammed on in front of the whole world ... but he tells our guy, "If you get posterized by Shaq it's all good."

Must be ... Patrick Ewing used to get paid for it.

Check out the poster moment below.

Ed Asner not only copped a feel Sunday night ... he oil checked Sally Struthers.

The 86-year-old -- who filed for divorce last year -- presented an award to the "All in the Family" star and macked on her like a 20-something stud.

Truth be told, if Sally wasn't down with it, it would probably qualify as assault, but no harm, no foul.

You gotta watch the whole video. Sally ends splayed out on a chair.

NASCAR star Dale Earnhardt Jr. just revealed to the world he happily eats mayonnaise and banana sandwiches ... and the world responded with appropriate disgust and shock.

Dale took to his Twitter account moments ago and posted a picture of the half-made mayo and 'nana monstrosity, with the caption "Making my favorite sandwich. I swear it's delicious. @Hellmanns."

Obviously no one believed him ... and the reaction in the Twittosphere was swift with Dale getting clowned mercilessly in his comments section. Here are some of the best.

"@DaleJr is this a cry for help?"

”@DaleJrIs this some sort of sick joke?"

"@DaleJr Perhaps South Carolina or Tennessee will welcome you and your shenanigans with open arms but that will not be tolerated here."

The melee that erupted around Kylie Jenner -- between a defensive grandfather and photogs -- was fueled by alcohol ... according to the grandpa's family.

We spoke to the mother of one of the 3 girls who were waiting for Kylie outside The Nice Guy Saturday night ... when the girls' grandfather opened a can of whoopass on the paps.

Sporting overalls and a cig hanging out of his mouth -- gramps looked like he was straight out of central casting, but his daughter says the fight wasn't an attempt to grab the spotlight ... it's just that he was drunk.

The mother, who wants to remain anonymous, tells us grandpa had a few drinks before going out, and then some more at a bar in Hollywood. She says the family had gone to The Nice Guy specifically to see KJ, because her 11-year-old daughter and her 2 friends are obsessed.

She says the girls are now grounded from following Kylie because she doesn't want people thinking they're stalkers. As for grandpa -- she insists he's normally a "warm, caring man."

This is Courtney Stodden at her most interesting -- setting herself on fire. Seriously.

She was attempting some sort of seance on Periscope Sunday night when she apparently unwittingly dipped her bleach blonde hair into a burning candle.

You gotta see it, and it's cool to laugh about it ... 'cause she's okay. One question: Why didn't the so-called psychic, Sham Ibrahim, right next to Courtney warn her what was about to happen?

Russell Westbrook ain't gonna like this ... Amar'e Stoudemire is throwing the gauntlet down ... the fashion ... saying it's him and only him who reigns as the most fashionable guy in the NBA.

Stat was leaving the Beverly Wilshire hotel -- looking spiffy as always -- when we wanted to know once and for all who the best dressed baller in the entire league was.

There's a lot of competition ... Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, and the aforementioned Russell Westbrook make every press conference a runway ... displaying wild styles to the masses.

Check out the clip -- Stoudemire ... the OG of the fancy thread game ... says there's "no comparison" between him and the rest of the league ... staking his claim to the NBA best dressed championship.

We'd weigh in ... but we're wearing sweatpants right now.

Good news for the Los Angeles Lakers and Philadelphia 76ers ... legendary UConn coach Jim Calhoun thinks there are teams you can actually DOMINATE ... college teams.

We got Calhoun out in NYC and we had to ask the 3-time National Champion if he thought any of the best teams in the Final Four would have a shot against the NBA's worst.

Bottom line ... Calhoun says don't let the madness of March fool you ... reminding us all that it'd be men against boys and the college kids would "lose by 30."

Furious masturbators were probably a little more furious this morning ... 'cause Pornhub pulled a major April Fools' Day prank, but here's a kernel of truth to calm 'em down.

Anyone who went to the porn site this morning was greeted with glorious money shots ... of CORN -- and the entire site looks like it's been changed to something called cornhub.com.

Fear not Internet sex fiends ... it's not a hack, just April Fools' Day ... and users are just a click away from getting past the prank page.

The guy who caught -- and then sniffed -- Kobe Bryant's shooting sleeve after the Lakers vs. Jazz game this week says he's sorry he embarrassed Laker Nation and wants to "clear his name."

This is actually pretty hilarious ...

We got an email from Dorjbat Dorjmenchim with the subject line: "Guy who smelled Kobe's Sleeve" ... so naturally, we had to read it.

Inside was a letter explaining and sort of apologizing for ripping the sleeve away from another fan and inhaling the hell out of the scene live on television.

For the record, we asked Dorjbat what the sleeve smelled like -- "greatness and a little bit of sweat."

Here's the letter ...

This is pretty damn funny ... if you're not NBA star Festus Ezeli.

The Golden State Warriors star was targeted for a hilarious prank by some of his teammates, including Andre Iguodala and Klay Thompson ... who executed a plot to convince Festus he'd been cut from the team.

Kim Kardashian down! We repeat ... Kim K down!!

This video's insane -- and will probably piss off Kanye West -- but Kim and Lil' Kim caused absolute chaos outside West Hollywood hot spot Craig's on Wednesday night.

The first annual Kim Conference was a huge hit with fans and paparazzi who swarmed the ladies as they left. Kim K actually had to lead Lil' through the insanity, but watch what happens as they get to their car and one of the paps takes a spill ... right into Kanye's wife.

She came out of it okay, but will that matter to Yeezus?

We don't see the Kims hanging that often. They hooked up at Kanye's MSG show last month, and there's this ... from nearly 10 years ago. #TBT.

Nope.

For the 3rd straight time, the Lakers are giving away a Kobe Bryant bobblehead that looks absolutely nothing like the Mamba.

The previous two bobbleheads looked more like Danny Glover and Will Smith than Kobe ... but this last one is so off, we can't even come up with lookalike.

Thoughts?

Natalie Portman's suddenly famous doppelganger -- a 13-year-old BOY -- spent a good chunk of his life explaining he's NOT a girl, and it's all because of his rock 'n' roll fantasies.

We got Clyff, the now 24-year-old dude whose teenage pic -- side-by-side with Natalie -- blew up on Reddit this week. He's laughing it off now, but Clyff told us his adolescence was rougher than the average kid.

Funny part ... Clyff says he wasn't going for a Queen Amidala look at all. He really idolized Led Zeppelin's frontman.

DNA (and kids) can be cruel.