Nurse!

Mumford & Sons bass player Ted Dwane is sporting a shaved melon and a gnarly head scar following last week's emergency surgery for a blood clot on his brain ... and this morning, the rocker shared a pic of his new look.

Dwane -- who usually sports a long shag -- shared the photo on the band's official blog along with the message, "Bear with a sore head! Thanks so much for all the well wishing, it seems to be working! I’m home."

Dwane was rushed to a hospital for emergency surgery last Monday, forcing Mumford & Sons to cancel several shows. They'd hoped to make their big performance at Bonnaroo ... but instead, the band was forced to shut down their summer tour after doctors said Ted wasn't ready for the road.

At least his bandmates had a sense of humor about it ... saying, Ted "has been nothing short of heroic in how he has handled the whole ordeal, and now it has been medically proved that he does indeed have a brain."

Paris Jackson DETESTS Justin Bieber, largely and ironically because he wouldn't speak up about teenage girls cutting themselves ... TMZ has learned.

Sources connected to the family tell TMZ ... Paris -- who is currently at UCLA Medical Center after cutting herself with a knife and downing 20 Motrin -- thinks Justin is a terrible role model for young girls. She was enraged after some of Justin's female fans started tweeting about cutting themselves as an expression of love for the singer and he went radio silent, rather than talking the girls out of it.

We're told Paris got very angry after seeing the pics TMZ posted of Justin smoking weed in a hotel room in early January. She thinks he owes his fans more as a role model.

Paris -- who lives in Justin's Calabasas gated community -- thinks Justin's various missteps in the hood are "a disgrace."

Seems Kobe Bryant started a German trend ... 'cause NBA star Jermaine O'Neal took Kobe's lead and flew out to Germany for a special medical procedure that ain't exactly legal in the U.S. of A..

34-year-old O'Neal -- a 6-time NBA All-Star -- just posted a photo standing next to famed German surgeon Dr. Peter Wehling along with the caption, "Just finished up my last day of a week long of treatments out here in germany with the great Dr Wehling!"

There's only one reason O'Neal would go to Germany -- Regenokine ... a special procedure involving the manipulation of red blood cells that's believed to accelerate the body's healing process.

The only catch ... the procedure ain't exactly approved by the American FDA ... 'cause according to Grantland.com, it violates an FDA regulation that mandates that all human tissues (such as blood and bone marrow) can only be "minimally manipulated."

Obviously O'Neal isn't afraid ... neither is Kobe ... and even A-Rod is reported to have gone to Deutschland for a quick German fix-me-up.

It's unclear which body part O'Neal was hoping to fix -- but last year, Wehling reportedly worked on Jermaine's knees ... and it seems to have worked. J.O. played 55 games in the 2012-13 season ... the 2nd highest he has played in the last 10 seasons.

The NBA doesn't seem to mind the procedure ... 'cause Kobe never faced any repercussions from the league -- in fact, he played noticeably BETTER after he came back.

As for O'Neal ... he's not just hungry for an NBA championship ... he's also craving some high quality food ... recently tweeting, "Anybody know what's the best steakhouse to go to out here in Dusseldorf, Germany?"

Paris Jackson is stable and doing OK ... but she's dealing with some pretty heavy issues, including the fact that she hasn't dealt with Michael Jackson's death -- this according to sources connected with the Jackson family.

Our sources say Paris -- who's currently receiving psychological help at UCLA Medical Center -- has indeed felt bullied, but NOT by schoolmates. We're told Paris has had an obsession with comments people leave about her on social media and websites -- and the negative comments "really get to her." Our sources say she currently does not have access to her phone or the Internet, so the problem is temporarily solved.

Paris, one source says, is a "rebel." We've learned Paris almost got expelled from school after punching a student who "talked smack about her father."

We're told Debbie Rowe has expressed deep concern about some of the friends Paris has been hanging with -- friends who she believes have been a bad influence.

And there's this ... we're told the shrinks who have been helping Paris believe she has not really gone through the grieving process over her dad's death. In other words, a lot of emotional upset has been building for nearly 4 years.

We're told when Paris gets out of UCLA ... she and Debbie Rowe are going away together for 6 to 8 weeks so she can get better. Our sources say Debbie feels very strongly it's important to get her the hell out of L.A. for the summer.

Corin Nemec -- star of the '90s sitcom "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" -- is suing the filmmakers he claims are responsible for the boating accident that mangled his leg, insisting it's THEIR fault he suffered permanent injuries ... and now he's out for payback.

As we previously reported, the accident occurred in January in Belize -- Nemec was riding on board a boat to the set of B-horror movie "Rise of the Dinosaurs" ... when the vessel slammed violently into a submerged barge.

Nemec told us the crash sent him flying into the side of the boat -- and as a result, he broke his femur in 3 places, lost TONS of blood, and needed emergency surgery (including blood transfusions) to keep him alive.

Now Nemec has filed a lawsuit, claiming the filmmakers were negligent in hiring an operator who drove the boat recklessly. And to make matters worse, Nemec claims the filmmakers weren't even carrying required worker's comp insurance.

The suit says the accident left Nemec with permanent injuries ... and that six months later, he's still being treated. He's suing for unspecified damages, exceeding $25,000.

We reached out to the production company behind the film ... no word back so far.

Liberace's ex-lover Scott Thorson is a man with priorities ... his first stop after getting sprung from jail -- a doctor's office where he was pumped full of Botox.

The photos were snapped in Vegas ... just days after Thorson was released from the pokey where he'd been rotting since February 22.

Thorson -- portrayed by Matt Damon in the new HBO movie "Behind the Candelabra" -- pled guilty to burglary and identity theft in May. He was eligible to bail out while he awaited sentencing in July, but couldn't make bail until last month, with the help of Bunny Ranch brothel owner Dennis Hof.

Once free ... he made a beeline for the Botox doc. We're told the procedure cost $1,200 ... and famed Bunny Ranch prostitute Air Force Amy (above) footed the bill.

Pretty insane ... considering Thorson sued Liberace for cajoling him into getting so much plastic surgery so Thorson would look like Lee ... he got addicted to painkillers and other drugs. So getting more work done seems a bit strange.

Bob Tur -- a legendary news helicopter pilot who captured the Reginald Denny beating that triggered the L.A. Riots, the O.J. Simpson slow-speed chase and countless of other seminal news events -- is in the midst of a transgender procedure that will make him a woman.

Tur was on TMZ Live Wednesday ... and explained he always felt he was a woman trapped in a man's body. He's currently in the early stages of the procedure, has been receiving hormone injections and says he's already "thinking like a woman." When the procedure is done, he says Bob Tur will be "dead" and he will become Zoe.

Tur -- whose daughter Katy is a star reporter on "NBC Nightly News" -- did say something troubling. He says he doesn't believe women can make the same quick, decisive decisions like men when piloting an aircraft.

Jonah Hill is taking a page out of the George Clooney scrotum-grooming manual -- telling TMZ, he'd totally consider getting his ball bag ironed out to remove the wrinkles.

A little background ... Clooney's joked over the years that he'd gotten some unique cosmetic work done: "I did get my balls done ... I got them unwrinkled. It's the new thing in Hollywood -- ball ironing."

Clooney was obviously kidding ... but the comment JUST inspired a real-life cosmetic procedure called "Tighten the Tackle," which uses a real laser to tighten up excessively loose scrotal skin. (Note: scrotal skin is supposed to be loose)

Zooey Deschanel played the role of caring girlfriend this week ... when her boyfriend was wheeled out of an L.A. hospital with bandages all over his face ... but don't worry, he's gonna be fine.

The "New Girl" star helped her screenwriter BF Jamie Linden out of his wheelchair and into a waiting Tesla outside of the hospital Tuesday ... sparking concern that something was seriously wrong.

But Zooey's rep tells TMZ it looks worse than it is -- explaining, "Jamie had a very minor and routine sinus procedure done, all is well."

Now we can all breathe easier ... especially Jamie.

TMZ has obtained the emergency call made from the Lost Hills Sheriff's Dept. to the L.A. County Fire Dept. on June 5 ... reporting that Paris Jackson had "OD'd on 20 Motrin and cut her arm with a kitchen knife."

During the call, the Sheriff's Dept. tells Fire that Paris is "awake and breathing."

The Fire Dept. also asks the Sheriff's Dept. if they want Fire to "stage" -- which is shop talk for "waiting" until the Sheriff's Dept. deems the situation safe to enter.

The Sheriff's Dept. told Fire they didn't have to "stage" because it was not a dangerous situation.

The call was made after Paris herself contacted a suicide hotline.

We broke the story ... Paris was taken from the family's Calabasas home by stretcher at around 2 AM on June 5 ... and an ambulance rushed her to a nearby hospital.

She was placed on an involuntary psychiatric hold for 72 hours at Children's Hospital in L.A. She was moved Sunday to the UCLA medical center for further psychiatric evaluation ... the same place her father died 4 years ago this month.

Mumford & Sons bass player Ted Dwane was rushed to a hospital for emergency treatment yesterday ... where doctors are treating the rocker for a blood clot on his brain.

The band issued a statement on its website ... saying, "Our friend and bandmate Ted has been feeling unwell for a few days, and yesterday he was taken to a hospital to receive emergency treatment."

"The scans revealed a blood clot on the surface of his brain that requires an operation. Ted is receiving excellent care and we are being assured that he will recover quickly from surgery."

M&S says it will postpone its next 3 shows ... and will reschedule "as soon as we can."

Shawne Merriman looked like a million bucks walking out of the gym today in L.A. -- completely laughing off rumors that he suffered from a drug overdose last night.

As we reported, the 29-year-old retired NFL star was transported from Colony nightclub to an L.A. hospital around 9:30pm Sunday night, following a 911 call reporting that he had possibly OD'd.

The caller said Merriman was "barely conscious" -- but just hours later, following his brief trip to the hospital, Merriman was back at the club looking like normal.

Retired NFL star Shawne Merriman is adamant ... he did NOT overdose on drugs at an L.A. nightclub last night ... telling TMZ he was simply dehydrated.

The 29-year-old -- who was transported from Colony nightclub to an L.A. hospital around 9:30pm Sunday night -- tells us ... "I didn't feel well and they called the ambulance for me to make sure I was good."

Merriman says he doesn't know who called the ambulance.

We're told the person who called 911 reported that Shawne was "barely conscious."

After Merriman was admitted to the hospital, the ex-NFL star says, "They told me to drink some fluids and sent me on my way."

Shawne says he's been running himself ragged recently -- "I've been finishing my MBA, shooting a bunch of films, launching my LightsOut [company] and still training."

In fact, Shawne says he had just gotten off a plane from Canada ... and went straight to the clubs last night.

Shawne's rep tells us, "At the hospital, he got fluids and felt fine ... so he went right back to the club."

8:20 AM PT -- Merriman is now acknowledging he was hospitalized, and tweeted that he was just "dehydrated" -- which might explain why he looked so sober and coherent in our video.

Mystery solved?

For a guy who was allegedly hospitalized at 9:30 pm Sunday night, retired NFL star Shawne Merriman appeared incredibly SOBER when TMZ shot him out just 3 hours later.

The whole situation is bizarre ... considering law enforcement has confirmed with NFL.com that the former NFL All-Pro was transported to an L.A. hospital for an undisclosed "medical emergency" around 9:30pm Sunday night.

In fact, law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... officials responded to a "possible overdose" at Colony nightclub with a caller reporting a man who was "barely conscious."

Sources tell us ... the 29-year-old former NFL All-Pro had been inside the club -- but was "escorted out" after people inside believed he appeared like he was going to pass out.

In short -- our sources are ADAMANT Merriman was hospitalized last night.

Which brings us to the video ...

Our TMZ photog noticed Merriman leaving Greystone Manor (a short cab ride from Colony) around 12:26 am on Monday morning ... and struck up a normal TMZ conversation with the guy.

In the footage, Merriman appears lucid, conversational ... and in no way like a person who was "barely conscious" just 3 hours before the video was shot.

At one point in the video, Merriman asks us "So, what's up?" Our guy responds, "Just livin'."

Merriman quickly jokes back, "Yeah, me too."

Plus, Merriman was tweeting around 2:40 am ... telling people he was partying with rapper The Game.

Paris Jackson was transfered to UCLA Medical Center this evening, effectively ending her 72-hour psychiatric hold, and TMZ has the exclusive video of her being wheeled into the hospital.

As TMZ first reported, Jackson was rushed to the hospital early Wednesday morning after Jackson allegedly cut her forearm with a meat cleaver. Jackson was taken to a local hospital and placed under a 5150 psychiatric hold for 72 hours.

Our photog spotted Jackson and a slew of bodyguards outside UCLA Medical Center as Jackson was being wheeled in this afternoon. Our photog tried to get an update on Paris' condition from one of the bodyguards. He was mum, but his mood suggested Jackson was doing better.

Michael Douglas' hypothesis that oral sex caused his throat cancer has sent Americans reeling. So we gotta ask ...