Kardashian Sisters We're Not Shameless Snake Oil Peddlers!!!

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The Kardashian sisters did NOT sell bogus diet pills to millions of gullible consumers ... they just coaxed 'em into buying them -- this according to new legal docs, obtained by TMZ.

Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian just filed their response to a $5 million lawsuit that accuses them of peddling lies to the public about the diet pill QuickTrim. The product's main ingredient is caffeine, which the FDA has decided is not an effective weight-loss drug.

But Kim & Ko. are now firing back -- claiming they're NOT the sellers of QuickTrim, they're just the pretty faces promoting the product ... so they shouldn't be held responsible for QuickTrim's lies.

The sisters claim there's currently no law that holds spokespeople accountable for false advertising -- and it should stay that way.

The Kardashians want their names dropped from the lawsuit.

Kim Kardashian Buys Kanye West SICKEST Birthday Present Ever

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What does the woman who has everything get the man who has everything for his birthday? If you're Kim Kardashian, you buy your boyfriend Kanye West a rare $750,000 Lamborghini. Ball so hard!

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ ... Kim purchased the Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 in L.A. for her new BF, who's celebrating his 35th birthday today. But Kanye can't play with it yet because he's in Ireland on the Watch the Throne tour.

So we're told Kim wanted to give him a taste of his gift -- so she took a video of the car to show him ... and we're told she's screening the video in person tonight on the Emerald Isle.

So it's probably safe to say the car won't be Kanye's only present this year.

Kris' New Woman -- Kim K's Stepdad is a Plastic Surgery Nightmare

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Kris Humphries' new woman is already taking swipes at her man's famous ex -- claiming Kim Kardashian's stepdad Bruce Jenner's face "scares me."

Myla Sinanaj has been tweeting constantly since she began dating Humphries in mid-January -- frequently about Kim and the men in her life. Just a couple weeks ago, she unloaded on Bruce, writing, "Bruce Jenner's face scares me- it should be on the 'Why not to get plastic surgery' poster."

A month earlier, Myla targeted Kim's new man Kanye West and his diss track "Theraflu" -- in which Kanye raps, "And I admit I fell in love with Kim ... 'Round the same time she fell in love with him ... That's cool, babygirl, do your thing ... Lucky I ain't had Jay drop him from the team."

Myla wrote, Kanye should be "bigger than taking petty shots at sh*t that got nothing to do with him. Lost respect."

But when it comes to Kim herself -- Myla put the claws away, re-tweeting a pic of Kim with the caption, "Looks like JLO."

We're guessing that's a compliment.

A rep for Humphries tells TMZ, the NBA star isn't dating Sinanaj -- claiming, “Kris is and has been single since October 31st 2011."

Kris Jenner Can She Name ONE Kanye West Song?

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Her daughter is dating him, but the question remains ... can Kris Jenner name one Kanye West song?

Place your bets and then watch the video.

Lamar Odom Kris Jenner Is NOT My Momager-in-Law

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Lamar Odom the basketball player and Lamar Odom the reality star are two completely separate people and he likes to keep it that way ... but maybe he should think about merging the two.

Our photog spotted the former Los Angeles Laker out in L.A. yesterday and asked him if Kris Jenner (mega-manager that she is) is handling his basketball career. Lamar explained, "Those are two separate entities -- the basketball player and the guy that's on reality TV ... She handles the reality star."

An interesting statement from L.O. because when he and Khloe pulled the plug on their reality show ... he claimed he was going to focus on his basketball career. Not a good move on Lamar's part to say he's still in the reality TV world ... if he's serious about having a team take him seriously.

Then again, considering the Kardashians are printing money ... and Lamar's NBA career is well, y'know -- perhaps it IS time to let Kris take over.

Kim Kardashian/Kanye West Both $elling their Homes

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Kim Kardashian and Kayne West have both discreetly listed their homes for sale, setting the stage for the big, "We're movin' in together" ... TMZ has learned.

Kim has given a "pocket listing" to a realtor for her $4.8 mil Beverly Hills home -- a pocket listing doesn't appear in official real estate documents. We're told Kim's asking price is $5 million.

Ditto Kanye, who listed his L.A. home as well -- again, a pocket listing.

Sources close to the couple confirm ... both are selling their homes so they can rent a house together. They're looking for a really private place to live ... behind gates.

Kylie & Kendall Jenner Working on Their Kardashian Tan

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With Kim, Khloe and Kourtney nowhere to be found, Kris Jenner's youngest daughters Kylie, 14, and Kendall, 16, enjoyed having the spotlight and some bikini tanning time in Hawaii on Wednesday.

Kylie and Kendall know keeping up with the Kardashian glow takes work.

Kim Kardashian Luggage Thieves Jacked PRICELESS Sunglasses

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Kim Kardashian says the British Airways employees who ransacked her luggage have stolen something that money cannot replace -- sunglasses that have a profound meaning.

When Kim arrived home from France Friday night, she noticed her luggage was significantly lighter than when she left. A search inside the suitcase quickly revealed the thieves made off with a pair of vintage sunglasses her dad, Robert Kardashian, gave her just before he died -- sunglasses she only wore on very special occasions.

And there's even more thievery. Kim is telling friends the baggage bandits made off with several extremely expensive purses and Tumi luggage.

Kim tweeted after the incident, writing, ""Very disappointed in British Airways for opening my luggage & taking some special items of mine! Some things are sentimental & not replaceable."

We're told Kim has already filed a report with the airline, demanding they produce surveillance catching the culprits in the act.

If the airline doesn't fork over the footage, we're told Kim's going to the cops.

Kim K. Staffer CHEWS OUT Cop for Seeking Autograph

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One of Kim Kardashian's handlers got into a shouting match with an LAX police officer when she claimed the guy was more interested in getting Kim's autograph than protecting her from fans and paparazzi.

The heated exchange was captured Friday evening as the woman -- who was clearly part of Kim's entourage -- accuses the officer of asking Kim for an autograph when he should have been keeping her safe.

The officer got PISSED ... insisting loudly, "I don't appreciate you coming here and telling us we're here for autographs. I don't do that."

The cop adds, "We're not here to do any service for [Kim Kardashian]. We're here for the needs of the international terminal."

Kim's handler then storms off.

Scott Disick Having a Ball with Rob Kardashian

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After what looks like one too many bloody marys, Scott Disick was caught sleeping with a Kardashian other than his baby mama Kourtney ... her brother Rob Kardashian.

Kim Kardashian tweeted this adorable pic of Scott cuddled up with his head nestled up against Rob's comfy crotch at the airport ... not that there's anything wrong with that.

The Kardashians really do like to keep it in the family.

Kim Kardashian Call Me a Pill Popper And I'll Go After You

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Kim Kardashian is telling friends she's totally klean ... and God help the tabloids that say she's a pill popper.

Our Kardashian sources tell us Kim is furious over a report in an Australian mag claiming she takes Valium and sleeping pills in dangerous amounts, and the family is alarmed. Based on what we're told, it appears Kim is not only Rx free, but she barely touches alcohol.

We've learned Kim has summoned her lawyers, who are about to fire off letters to the media outlets that report or pick up the Australian story ... saying they'll do so at their own peril.

BTW, the article also say Khloe has given her an ultimatum -- either stop taking pills within 3 weeks or she'll tell Kris Jenner and Kanye. Our Khloe sources say it's totally false.

'KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS' TORN 2 PIECES

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The Hidden Hills home that was the centerpiece of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" for 5 seasons has been sold -- and the TV producer who bought it has exorcised all Kardashian demons by tearing the whole thing down ... except for one precious piece.

The new owner had the homestead disassembled piece by Armenian piece ... the toilets, cabinets, even the roof were donated to Habitat for Humanity. The upshot -- Kardashian remnants will adorn homes throughout the world.

We're told the owner plans on building a modern, industrial-type home in its place.

As for the one piece the owner kept ... the stripper pole, which will become a coat rack.

Total downgrade.

Kim Kardashian Skechers Got My Ass in Order

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Kim Kardashian doesn't care WHAT the Federal Trade Commission says ... she says Skechers worked for her, and THAT'S why she became the company's pitch person.

Kim made a 1-year deal with the company, which touted Shape-Ups as a shoe that promotes toning and weight loss. The FTC now says the claims are bogus ... that there's no proof the shoes do squat.

But Kim is telling friends and family ... when she signed the original deal, she was a habitual Shape-Ups user and it toned the back of her legs and her considerable ass.

Kim says she signed a 1-year deal that ended in January, but even before the expiration she started to hear about the new research which showed the shoe didn't work, so she stopped promoting it all together.

Even though she wasn't about to promote the shoes for other people to wear, Kim had conflicting feelings about using the product herself.

Kim says she wouldn't endorse the shoe now -- but she's not throwing her Shape-Ups out. She still has them and might still wear them.

Hope springs eternal.

11:00 AM PDT -- A rep for Skechers tells TMZ, the company stands by its toning claims despite agreeing to pay out $40 million in settlement costs. Under the settlement agreement, the rep says Skechers is still permitted to market Shape-Ups as a toning shoe.

According to the rep, Skechers only agreed to settle because fighting every single lawsuit would've been really expensive.

Feds: Kim K Hocked BOGUS Shoes

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The Skechers fitness shoes Kim Kardashian tried to convince you to buy don't actually work ... not even a little bit ... so says the federal government.

The Federal Trade Commission has determined Skechers made unfounded claims about its Shape-Ups shoes ... pushed by hot-bodied spokespeople like Kim K and Brooke Burke.

According to the FTC, Skechers lied about clinical studies which the company said proved the shoes help people lose weight and strengthen muscles in the ass, legs and stomach.

In fact, Skechers has agreed to pay $40 million in settlement costs ... and anyone who bought the shoes will be eligible for a refund.

Still, Skechers is reportedly disputing the FTC decision -- and plans to conduct more research on the effects of the shoe.

Kim K & Kanye West No Relationship Stuff on Reality Show

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Kanye West will be seen with Kim Kardashian on the next season of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" -- but sources close to the couple tell TMZ ... none of their relationship will be featured on the show.

After the Kris Humphries debacle, Kim had said she would never put her relationships on screen again ... but then gave an interview saying Kanye would be a part of her show.

But according to our sources, Kanye's personal interactions with Kim will not be aired. We're told if Kanye happens to be at an event with Kim ... and the cameras are rolling ... then so be it. In other words ... this won't be a "Khloe and Lamar" type situation.

Probably for the best.

Khloe Kardashian's Accuser Pants On Fire!!!

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The transgender person who claims she was violently beaten by Khloe Kardashian at an L.A. club has a tiny problem ... ALL of the evidence shows she's full of crap.

Chantal Spears has filed legal docs saying she'll drop the case if Khloe antes up $150,000. But we did some digging and here's what we know.

- There is surveillance video which shows there was NO contact between Khloe and Chantal
- The video shows ... after Khloe and Lamar enter the club, Chantal seems completely unfazed
- The valet who escorted Khloe and Lamar out of their car on December 5, 2009 says he was standing between the couple and Chantal and there was never any contact
- Chantal was interviewed by the LAPD and said she was not injured
- The LAPD investigated the case and decided there was nothing there and declined to prosecute

The only question -- Will Khloe pay something to make Chantal go away.