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John Schneider's production studio lot in Louisiana has been ravaged by Hurricane Ida, and while his life was spared, the actor needs some help.

The 'Dukes of Hazzard' star's movie/TV magic sanctuary in Holden, LA got torn up this week as Ida continues to rip through the area. Among the casualties on his property was a massive tree that toppled over, crashing down onto his orange "General Lee" stunt car.

Don't worry ... it ain't John's one and only -- he has several models on hand.

John's rep tells us he's doing just fine, but was off the grid for a while due to bad cell service ... he's leaving for Nashville in just a few hours.

With that said ... JS uploaded a video that's pretty sad to watch considering the devastation he -- and thousands of other Louisianans -- are going through right now. He's asking the public to give him a hand by going to his studio store and buying merch ... which is gonna go a long way to getting the place up and running again.

Forget about where Justin Bieber gets his peaches -- the better question is where he shaves his legs ... at least based on this hilarious billboard swap that has him slipping into Kim Kardashian's underwear line.

Check out this giant tower-sized Balenciaga ad on a Sunset Strip building with Bieber as its leather-jacketed star -- but as you can see, he's lost his lower half somewhere along the way.

Instead of JB's lower abdomen and legs, you see a different set of body parts ... seemingly belonging to a woman rocking SKIMS, Kim's shapewear company.

It's pretty hilarious -- it looks almost intentional due to how seamlessly JB's top mixes with the SKIMS bottom. Even the SKIMS model's arms appear to line up almost perfectly with the Biebs'.

Of course, this had to have been a massive mistake. We can't see a crew working on it in the pic ... but we're guessing they were in the middle of swapping from one ad to the other.

P!nk seems quite concerned a teen influencer is being used by her parents in an unsettling way -- but the kid's speaking for herself, saying she is in the driver's seat here.

Piper Rockelle -- a YouTuber who just turned 14 -- tells TMZ ... "The first thing I want everyone to know is that my mom doesn't make me do anything. Quite the opposite, I'm a kid who had a dream and my mom is amazing enough to help me live it out."

She adds this of P!nk's worries ... "I don't think P!nk has ever seen one of my YouTube videos because if she did she'd see it's just my friends and me having fun and acting like ourselves. The content we make is the kind of stuff anyone can watch."

ICYMI ... P!nk took to social media over the weekend to address what she considered the over-sexualization of children -- and specifically name-dropped Piper to make her point. The singer seemed to take exception with a bikini photo posted to Piper's IG recently.

Piper touches on that too, telling us she rocked the bikini 'cause ... well, it's summer, adding she doesn't see anything sexual about a 14-year-old wearing a 2-piece in and of itself.

The YT'er told us she just did a crash course on P!nk, and learned she started following her dreams for stardom right around the same age Piper is now ... so, she questions why P!nk's giving her flak for doing the same thing.

The U.S. Marine who got relieved of his duties for criticizing the U.S. Afghanistan pull-out is beating his bosses to the punch by quitting -- but not before going off about a psych evaluation he says he was asked to undergo, and lots more.

Lt. Colonel Stuart Scheller is getting his feelings out on social media after his dramatic announcement -- that he'd been disciplined for speaking out on the way the U.S. handled the withdrawal.

In a new YouTube vid he said he'd actually be resigning, and turning down a lucrative retirement he's owed to avoid being silenced -- but he also pointed out this was far from dishonorable as some might suggest. He dared superiors to ask anyone he served with about about his rep in battle.

While Scheller repeatedly says he's not considering legal action just yet ... it sure sounds like he might be soon, because he ominously warns this is far from over.

Then on FB, he addressed another issue Monday ... claiming his commanding officer asked him to get a mental health checkup, because they were apparently worried about his first video last week.

Scheller says he gets why that request was made, but he feels reducing behavior like this to a PTSD claim is perhaps the biggest disservice the U.S. military can do to any of its members.

He goes on to say all he wanted from leadership was accountability and a confession that the mission was botched -- but because of what he characterizes as a system of silence and following orders no matter what, he didn't get that ... so he's exiting on his own terms.

A Southern California teacher is in the hot seat for suggesting her students pledge allegiance to the Pride flag ... instead of the American flag.

The lady's name is Kristin Pitzen, and she works for the Newport Mesa School District in Orange County -- which can lean pretty conservative compared to L.A. To that point, she apparently pissed off a lot of parents and Twitter users over this video she posted.

Check it out ... Pitzen says she packed away the U.S. flag in her classroom during COVID -- because it made her uncomfortable -- and hasn't been able to find it (nor does she seem to want to). The lady's giggling through her story pretty much the whole way through.

Fast-forward to the 2021 school year, where she says some students -- at least those who've chosen to partake, that is -- have asked what they're supposed to pledge allegiance to during the morning announcements ... seeing how Pitzen still hasn't gotten Old Glory back up yet.

She jokingly says she told one of the students who asked her that ... well, there's one flag they could pledge to if they wanted -- and pans to the rainbow flag behind her.

The video has reportedly triggered outrage in the community for a variety of reasons -- some feel like she's "indoctrinating" their children while others feel she was just outright disrespectful to the flag and the U.S. by extension ... especially hurtful during this Afghanistan moment.

Offset is going from Main Street to Wall Street -- and he's doing it with his wifey by his side ... as they celebrate their music publishing company going public.

The rapper couple was on hand Monday at the NYSE in Times Square to do the honors of ringing the opening bell. Well, Offset did anyway ... but Cardi B was right there too for moral support. They posed for some photo-ops too as they hyped their new venture.

If you hadn't heard, Offset and the Migos' music catalog now belongs to Reservoir Media -- or RSVR -- which has snapped up a ton of masters and rights for a variety of artists in recent months, this as they were ramping up for an IPO last month.

The company hit the exchange in July, but now -- a month later -- the Wall Street heads invited Offset, Cardi and other Reservoir investors for a belated celebration ... and let 'em have some fun with the age-old bell-ringing tradition in the process.

We got Offset on his way out, and he made it pretty clear that this is something he's excited to be a part of -- not just because it's one the first female-led businesses of its kind to put itself out there, but because there's something in it for him and other musicians.

The idea behind Reservoir, it seems, is putting the power of publishing and control back into the actual artists' hands, and based on what Offset says here ... he's all about that.

As people continue to scramble to flee Afghanistan, so too are a number of four-legged allies ... and one guy's nonprofit is in desperate need of a major donor to make it happen.

His name's Joshua Hosler, President of Veteran Sheepdogs of America ... which is working frantically right now to help evacuate dozens of military dogs used by U.S. service members and others in and around Kabul, which don't seem to have many options for getting out.

He posted a TikTok video explaining the dire sitch -- with a photo of a ton of carrying crates in front of a chopper. Josh says this is just a fraction of the dogs left behind in the mass pull-out. There are military personnel on the ground that Josh is currently working with to coordinate a rescue, but the bottom line is ... he needs resources (like a 737 plane) which ain't cheap.

JH shoots his shots with the multi-millionaires and billionaires of the world -- including guys like Musk and Gates -- who could presumably cut a check for at least $1.67 million to fund an aircraft that could accommodate all these dogs to land somewhere outside the country.

Sounds like some active armed forces members are vouching for him online -- telling folks he isn't a fraudster or anything of the sort, and that he and his cause do, in fact, need all the help (and money) they can get ... thanking him for his sainthood in the process.

Based on @VetSheepdogsUS's tweets, it seems like things are coming down to the wire. The account last wrote some 8 hours ago, "We were told just now if the dogs aren't on the plane we will be forced to leave them in hanger! WE NEED A MIRACLE!"

Kanye West hosting Marilyn Manson at his latest "Donda" event has spurred a reaction from one of the latter's most notable accusers ... Evan Rachel Wood's got a response, in song.

The actress hit the Bourbon Room in Hollywood Saturday night, where she got on stage and did an impromptu performance of the New Radicals' "You Get What You Give" ... with just a guitarist and an iPhone on hand to help out.

It's pretty clear who ERW was dedicating the song to, because her caption alluded to "survivors" who she feels were betrayed this week -- of course, in relation to Manson. Also, as you may know, Manson is name checked in the lyrics ... and when she sang that line (4:40 in the video), Evan threw up a middle finger.

She writes, "For my fellow survivors who got slapped in the face this week. I love you. Don't give up." Evan also said that she'd been saving this cover, and that Saturday felt like an appropriate time to let it rip.

This all comes on the heels of Kanye's third listening show in Chicago this week -- where he not only had Manson come hang out, but DaBaby as well ... both of whom have been embroiled in controversy of late. Manson, however, is another level ... he's been accused of rape and sexual abuse by numerous women -- all of which he's vehemently denied.

Still, it was a bizarre move on Ye's part to bring both of those guys out -- not to mention feature them on one of his tracks. DB and MM are on "Jail, Pt. 2." Some reports say Kanye did it just for shock value and publicity ahead of the release ... which if true, is bonkers.

Speaking of the chaotic upload of "Donda" ... Ye spoke on that just today, saying it was put out by UMG without his final approval. But, he still appears to be firmly in support of "Jail, Pt. 2" being included. For the record ... the song did end up making it on Apple and Spotify.

This could be the dumbest, most ridiculous woke move ever ... Sarah Paulson is getting dragged for wearing a fat suit portraying Linda Tripp in "Impeachment: American Crime Story," because some critics think the role should have gone to someone with Tripp's body shape.

Yes, there are people who think an actor of Linda Tripp's size was denied a role that rightly should have gone to her.

Now, this is not to say it's not legit to debate actors wearing fat suits. But, is it essential to the role? As Sarah says, "There's a lot of controversy around actors and fat suits, and I think that controversy is a legitimate one. I think fat phobia is real. I think to pretend otherwise causes further harm. And it is a very important conversation to be had."

But, saying size matters in casting a role ... that's another thing altogether. What about actors who use prosthetics? What about a blonde actor who plays a redhead? Or an actor who gains or loses a lot of weight for a role ... a la Christian Bale or any other method actor???

Sarah brilliantly shut down the haters ... "I do think to imagine that the only thing any actor called upon to play this part would have to offer is their physical self is a real reduction of the offering the actor has to make."

She goes on ... "I would like to believe that there is something in my being that makes me right to play this part. And that the magic of hair and makeup departments and costumers and cinematographers that has been part of moviemaking, and suspension of belief, since the invention of cinema. Was I supposed to say no[to the role]."

Sarah was vague at the end, saying now that she knows what she knows, she would respond differently if offered the Linda Tripp part. She says, "I think the thing I think about most is that I regret not thinking about it more fully ... Should I have known? Abso-f***ing-lutely. But I do now. And I wouldn't make the same choice going forward."

A woman fleeing Afghanistan gave birth on a Turkish Airlines flight headed for the U.K. ... but the citizenship of the baby is something of a mystery.

Soman Noori, a 26-year-old Afghan with 2 kids, was on board the jet when she started having contractions. As the plane cruised at 33,000 feet above Kuwait, she gave birth.

The baby's name is Havva -- in English, Eve.

There have been other births during the evacuation as well.  Several other Afghan women gave birth either on a U.S. aircraft or at a U.S. military base in a foreign country.

One woman gave birth on a U.S. military plane that landed in Germany. Medics jumped on board when the plane landed and tended to her. The parents named the newborn girl Reach ... the call sign of the C-17.

According to the State Dept's Foreign Affairs Manual, "A U.S.-registered aircraft outside U.S. airspace is not considered to be part of U.S. territory," thus "a child born on such an aircraft outside U.S. airspace does not acquire U.S. citizenship by reason of the place of birth."

If a child is born over U.S. airspace, they would become a U.S. citizen.

It's unclear if a baby born on a military base in a foreign country would be eligible for U.S. citizenship.

Justin Bieber has left every other artist on Spotify in the dust -- hitting a major milestone by attracting the most listeners ever, which begs the question ... is he MJ's heir apparent???

The Biebs broke a record this week ... raking in the most monthly listeners on Spotify over the course of the streaming platform's history, with a whopping number of 83.3 mil -- the first time that's been accomplished -- this as his "Justice" album continues to surge on the charts.

And, don't get us started on his hit single with The Kid LAROI, "Stay," which continues to cruise at #1 several weeks after its release. Safe to say, August has been good to JB.

BTW, as far as Justin's Spotify lead ... he's far ahead of the rest of the pack by millions of listeners. The Weeknd clocks in at #2 with 74.5 million monthly listeners, Ed Sheeran is #3 with 72.4. And his female contemporaries are even further behind ... in the 60s.

The record before this was around 82 mil monthly listeners -- held by Ariana Grande for a good while. In any case, some major congratulations are in order ... and maybe some title-bestowing too. A lot of people are throwing around the term "Prince of Pop" right about now.

There's some controversy with that ... some feel he isn't deserving (for a variety of weird reasons) -- but the numbers don't lie, and Justin's longevity speaks for itself. So yeah, he may just be the modern-day prince of the genre ... behind the all-time king, Michael, of course.

Speaking of MJ, the dude's music continues to hit new benchmarks in its own right ... even today, more than a decade after his untimely death. "Thriller" was just certified 34X Platinum this week -- yep, people are still playing that classic.

Kanye West and Drake's beef has trickled into real life harassment -- some fan(s) of the latter took it upon themselves to hit up Ye's childhood home with some hateful words in tow.

Photos surfaced this weekend of three different signs that appear to have been left on the front steps of the South Shore Chicago house that Kanye grew up in ... and which he bought in recent years and is reportedly in the process of renovating.

It also served as the centerpiece of his latest listening event there in town -- with Ye creating a replica version of the crib to help tell the story of his "Donda" album. Now, it's tainted.

Somebody left signage touching on Drake's lyrical shots that he fired last weekend ... in which he called Kanye "burnt out," among other things. One sign echoes those words exactly, while another warns that Drizzy's album, "Certified Lover Boy," is coming soon.

And, the middle sign randomly takes a swipe at Justin Laboy -- a social media influencer who's been relaying a lot of Kanye "Donda" news lately ... seemingly on his behalf.

Luckily, no real damage to the home was done ... but it still feels like crossing the line into a space that's obviously sacred to Ye. Unfortunately for him, the address is widely public ... and doesn't seem to have any barricades or security around to keep nosy prowlers out.

The fact someone had the gall to go to Kanye's actual house to do this perhaps speaks to the stunt he pulled on Drake this week ... posting the dude's Toronto address publicly.

Eric Clapton is putting his anti-vaccine sentiments into song -- the guy just released a ditty that's all about resisting COVID vaccines and restrictions ... and it's surreal.

The legendary rocker and guitarist debuted his new track, "This Has Gotta Stop," Friday ... which at first feels like a social justice-like protest song -- based on the lyrics and visuals. But, when you read between the lines and read up on EC's recent COVID remarks ... it's clear what he's talking about.

The chorus goes, "This has gotta stop, enough is enough // I can't take this BS any longer // It's gone far enough, you wanna claim my soul // You'll have to come and break down this door." His first talks about knowing something was wrong when the proverbial man started laying down the law ... which Eric says made him apprehensive and break out in sweat.

He goes on to talk about what he thinks this future (of COVID mandates, vaccine requirements, etc.) will mean for his kids down the road. There's also a lot of animations of people being controlled by strings and hypnotized ... so it's clear what he thinks of it all.

Of course, that's no surprise ... Eric made his feelings known about a month ago when he announced he wouldn't perform at venues with vaccine requirements ... going on to liken it to "discriminated audience(s)." Even before that, he's been pushing anti-vaccine rhetoric pretty much all throughout the pandemic -- so, now, it appears he's channeling that in music.

A Marine Corps lieutenant colonel was swiftly disciplined after railing on the Secretary of Defense, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and other military leaders for bungling the disastrous exit from Afghanistan.

Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller, a 17-year-veteran who has served in Afghanistan, says he knew the brass would come down on him like a hammer, but he felt it was his duty to publicly demand accountability for failing to protect the troops.

Lt. Col. Scheller was relieved of his duties after posting his video, in which he says, "People are upset because their senior leaders let them down. And, none of them are raising their hands and accepting accountability or saying, 'We messed this up.'"

The lieutenant colonel, who says he had a personal relationship with one of the fallen soldiers, says he knew his criticisms would result in a high cost to him, his family and his career, and also said he was urged by some of his fellow Marines not to say publicly what they were all feeling privately.

The Lt. Col. zeroed in on what he believes was a fatal error ... not securing the Bagram Air Base before evacuating our soldiers and Afghan allies.

The Marine brass said they disciplined Lt. Col. Scheller because they lost trust and confidence in his ability to command.

Afghan-American actor Ali Olomi is heartbroken about what's going on in Afghanistan, and sadly ... he expects it to get even worse.

We got Ali out in L.A. Thursday as news was pouring in about the attacks at the Kabul airport -- which left at least 12 U.S. service members dead -- and he predicts the violence will continue ... especially after America fully withdraws.

Like Ali points out, if this sort of mayhem is already happening, it's hard to believe it will go away once we leave.

The actor -- who's had guest roles on TV shows like "NCIS: Los Angeles," "SEAL Team" and "Madam Secretary" -- is asking everyone to send positive thoughts and prayers to the Afghan people ... because they're in a terrible situation right now.

Actress Allyssa Brooke's teenage son was viciously attacked on a basketball court ... and it was all filmed by other kids who just stood by and laughed.

You see Allyssa's son, Nick, driving the lane before he's shoved to the ground. Nick quickly gets up to confront the guy who committed the flagrant foul but he's pushed ... and then, someone comes out of nowhere and punches him in the face.

Nick suffered a broken jaw in 3 places, a severe concussion and whiplash. When he got to the hospital, a baseball-sized lump had formed on the back of his head ... prompting concerns from doctors that there might be internal bleeding in his brain.

Allyssa -- whose acting credits include "Stranger Things," "Ozark" and "Queen of the South" -- told 11Alive she spent Nick's 17th birthday feeding him liquids through a syringe because his jaw's been wired shut for 6 weeks.

Allyssa's angry at those who found joy in the beatdown. She said, "I don't expect everybody to be a hero and run in to save the day if that's not your style. But, to laugh and applaud, and cheer, that's not humanity."

Nick's got a long road of recovery ahead. Once his jaw's unwired, Allyssa says he'll need additional weeks of bands to strengthen and retrain his bite. He also faces 6 months to a year of wearing braces to realign his teeth ... several of which she says were twisted out of place.

As for the attackers ... the kid who broke Nick's jaw has been charged with assault as a juvenile. But, Allyssa says the kids who filmed the incident should also be brought to justice. She has since started a Change.org petition toward that end.