CELEBRITY JUSTICE ™

The Chicago PD says the crash investigation involving a Porsche registered to Lance Briggs is now officially closed -- and the NFL star WILL NOT be arrested or charged with a crime.

We broke the story ... the Porsche was found smashed into a bartending school on the morning of January 20th -- and no one seems to know how it got there or who was driving.

When cops arrived, there was no driver on scene. Cops would not say if Briggs was involved in the crash ... but TMZ Sports has confirmed the car is registered to the ex-Chicago Bears linebacker.

Cops looked into the crash and ultimately determined it was a "regular auto accident" -- not a hit and run -- and therefore a civil matter.

We spoke with Officer Sedezic who confirms the case is officially closed, the civil matter has been resolved -- and no tickets will be issued.

Sources with close knowledge of the case tell us ... someone did come forward claiming to be the driver -- an associate of Briggs -- and that person settled the matter through his insurance company.

As for Lance, we reached out to him about a billion times -- and briefly spoke with him on the phone before publishing this story -- but he refused to comment.

He did however tweet about the situation on the day of the accident -- saying he "Ubered home" -- but never explained how his car ended up in the front of a bartending school.

Ex-Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle has been arrested again -- after an attempt to crash at his ex-girlfriend's Texas home early this morning went terribly awry.

Cops say Randle was driving through Irving County on his way to Kansas -- when he stopped at his ex-GF's home around 3 AM and asked if he could sleep there for a while.

But officials say he was REJECTED from the home -- and the people inside called police.

When cops arrived, they ran a check on Randle and found he had a warrant out for his arrest stemming from a speeding charge ... so, he was arrested and taken into custody.

Bail was set at $359.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's property is strictly a no pee zone ... just ask the guy who almost got arrested.

Our law enforcement sources say cops were called to the couple's Hollywood Hills home last week after their security guards noticed a man lurking in the bushes.

They thought they had a trespasser on their hands, so they detained him until the men in blue arrived.

Turns out it was just nature's call. The guy was homeless and in desperate need of a leak. He had no outstanding warrants at the time and no history of bothering the Jolie-Pitts. Cops looked at surveillance video and the story checked out.

We're told neither Brad nor Angie were home at the time.

Kris Jenner is way too proud about her #ProudMama ... according to the jeweler who's one step closer to launching a full-scale legal war over the hashtag.

TMZ broke the story ... Jenny Present, who owns a jewelry company and the trademarked phrase "Proud Mama," issued a warning to Jenner when the momager attempted to get her own trademark.

Present says Kris hasn't backed down, so she's just fired off a cease and desist letter to the momager's company. Tensions are definitely rising since Kris recently announced she's doing her own jewelry collection.

Present's letter demands Jenner stop using #ProudMama on all promotional platforms.

Azealia Banks is getting off scot-free for attacking an L.A. nightclub bouncer, even though the melee was caught on surveillance cameras.

TMZ has learned the L.A. City Attorney rejected the case for lack of evidence. As we first reported, Azealia went OFF in October on a door guy at Break Room 86. LAPD investigated, but we're told the security footage alone was not enough.

Law enforcement sources who've seen the video footage say it's unclear who the aggressor was in the brawl and since the bouncer didn't have any injuries ... it would be tough to prosecute.

One down, one to go. Banks still has a boob biting incident in NYC hanging over her head.

Chris Brown's baby mama claims the singer is not only a bad influence on their kid ... he's making the child sick.

Nia Guzman claims 1-year-old Royalty has developed asthma, and she says it's all because Chris has exposed her to an extreme amount of secondhand smoke. Brown is a weed and tobacco enthusiast.

Nia says when Royalty comes back from a visit with Chris she usually reeks of smoke.

Guzman also claims in legal docs she's worried Chris is abusing drugs and has relapsed ... especially with sizzurp.

Nia wants to restrict Chris' visitation ... asking the judge to force him to hire a full-time nanny or pull back on his right to be around the child.

She also wants the judge to force Chris to take random drug tests, prohibit him from using drugs or consuming alcohol around Royalty, and stop him from smoking around their daughter.

And Nia wants more child support ... she's getting $2,500 a month but wants it upped to nearly $16k a month.

We've reached out to Chris' attorney for comment ... so far, no word back.

Rihanna has an alleged stalker who was so invasive in her life, he sent her a masturbation video.

According to a search warrant, obtained by TMZ, the man had been dogging Rihanna, sending her threatening tweets between April and June of last year, saying among other things, "Should have killed @rihanna a minute back I would be good right now."

The man also said, "I use guns, bout to get a gun license."

But the search warrant makes it clear the man did things even more deranged, posting a 15 second masturbation video to Rihanna.

As we reported, the man also posted a pic (below) of him standing outside Rihanna's former home, saying, "Outside yo house."

The warrant says Rihanna's in fear for her life.

Stacey Dash is going after a strip club she says is sullying her Fox News image by plastering her pic on its flyers.

According to Stacey ... Deja Vu, a DTLA strip club, jacked a pic from her 2006 August Playboy shoot and used it to promote a birthday party for one of their employees ... Tony, in case you were wondering.

Stacey says she obviously is not a stripper but the club is telegraphing something different. She also says she never gave the club permission to use her image.

Stacey tells us it's all pretty simple ... she's going to sue.

We reached out to Deja Vu ... so far no word back.

7:24 PM PT -- TMZ has just learned Blac Chyna was just charged with drug possession ... more than 1 gram but under 4 grams.

Blac Chyna was arrested Friday after allegedly getting drunk and becoming belligerent during a trip to London ... TMZ has learned.

Chyna was busted in the Austin-Bergstrom International Airport Friday afternoon. Cops tells us, she was on her way to board her connecting flight to London when she started getting loud. She stormed toward the gate, got on the plane and screamed at a flight attendant, "Nasty ass bitch!"

That was enough for cops ... they got on the plane and arrested her on the spot.

An eyewitness tells TMZ, Chyna appeared "heavily intoxicated" and was "fighting" with a flight attendant, acting "like a drunken fool." Another eyewitness says, at one point she screamed, "Y'all got no respect for me. I gotta tie my shoes. Let me tie my Yeezys."

She'd just taken off a few hours earlier from LAX aboard a Delta flight.

An eyewitness tells us, Chyna was handcuffed and crying as cops took her away.

Chyna was in jail at the time of this post. She was booked for public intoxication.

Story developing ...

Tila Tequila is not mentally stable enough to continue calling the shots for her daughter ... according to the kid's father.

Thomas Whitaker is fighting for full legal custody of 1-year-old Isabella, and wants to make all decisions for the little girl. He claims Tila has delusions of grandeur ... such as believing she's God.

Thomas says they don't have a formal custody arrangement right now. He's asking the court to grant him child support, and change Isabella's last name from Nguyen (Tila's real last name) to Whitaker.

He's also requesting some new ground rules: no booze for Tila 24 hours before she gets Isabella and while she has her -- plus, no bad-mouthing dad.

The Shannon Twins were the victims of quite possibly the strangest, grossest alleged burglary attempt of all time -- and it involved a real life keister job.

Cops responded to a burglary call at the twins' Beverly Hills salon, Glam. Witnesses tell us a woman snatched cash from the register, slipped it inside her vagina and tried to make a run for it -- but an employee stopped her until cops arrived.

Law enforcement sources tell us the woman was indeed "secreting money from an orifice" when officers arrived ... although they couldn't specify which hole. Witnesses say a female cop had to literally "rip it out of her."

The twins weren't there during the freak incident, but had plenty to say afterward.

The woman was taken to a hospital for a psych evaluation.

As for just how much dough she allegedly smuggled ... the twins don't have an exact count yet. One of their employees made the wise decision to wash the cash. Money laundering -- sometimes it's necessary.

Wu-Tang Clan's $2 million album contains illustrations that were allegedly ripped off -- at least that's how an artist feels after getting a peek at the liner notes.

Jason Koza tells TMZ he's both "flattered and annoyed" after seeing that several pieces of fan art he created in 2014 made its way inside the "Once Upon a Time in Shaolin" packaging.

Martin Shkreli, who bought the only print of 'Shaolin,' let Vice post a few pages from the top secret album's notes ... and Koza says he immediately recognized his handiwork.

Koza believes Wu-Tang used his art, assuming it would only be seen by one pair of eyes. He says he knows Wu is familiar with his work because the group reposted some of his fan art from social media.

Koza says he's trying to contact the group to get some compensation, but adds he's still a fan. What pisses him off most is that Shkreli ended up owning his art.

We reached out to a rep for Wu-Tang, no word back.

The folks behind Coachella have issues with the hood ... which is why they're going to court to gripe about an urban version of the festival.

Hoodchella is set to go down in April in the City of Angels. It's being advertised as a 2-day festival featuring a bunch of DJs.

Coachella has certainly made a name for itself since it launched 17 years ago, and the people behind it say they own the name and changing a few letters isn't going to fly.

Here's what's strange. This marks the SECOND annual Hoodchella, and it doesn't appear the Coachella people objected the first time around.

But under the category "Better Late than Never," they've filed legal docs demanding that the folks behind Hoodchella change the name.

7:30 PM PT -- Taryn's legal team says Hartman's request for a restraining order is "suspect" because Taryn hasn't had contact with her in many months. They claim it's actually Hartman who is "under investigation for stalking Ms. Manning and for theft and other crimes" in multiple cities -- and feel Hartman is trying to "obscure her own wrong doing."

Sources connected to Taryn tell us she is planning to take legal action against Hartman, and the restraining order was merely a preemptive tactic ... that failed.

Taryn Manning got in a knock down drag out fight with her makeup artist, daring the woman to stab her to death ... according to the makeup artist.

Holly Hartman filed to get a restraining order against Taryn after several alleged brawls. She says the most recent one happened in November at Taryn's NYC apartment. In the docs, Hartman says the "Orange Is the New Black" star headbutted her in the face, whipped her with a wet towel, sprayed Windex in her eyes and mouth and put her in a headlock.

The way Hartman describes it, Taryn has a death wish. She says during the fight, Manning yelled ... "Pick a knife. I'm wearing a white shirt there will be a lot of blood. You will be famous for killing Taryn Manning."

Even though the alleged violence went down in NY, she filed the docs in L.A. That was a problem for the judge, who's denied the restraining order for now.

Caitlyn Jenner and Kim Howe's stepchildren have filed to dismiss the lawsuit over the fatal crash on PCH, and we've learned a settlement has been reached.

According to court docs, William Howe and Dana Redmond filed dismissals on Tuesday. Their stepmother was driving the Lexus during the multi-vehicle wreck almost a year ago ... where Caitlyn slammed into the back of one car starting a chain reaction.

Sources connected with the case tell TMZ it settled for a "very modest amount" because everyone realized the stepkids had no legal standing to press the case. As a result, we're told a small amount of money changed hands, but it was paid by insurance. No money came out of Cait's pocket.

She's still facing a suit from the family that was in the Hummer during the PCH wreck.

Anaheim Ducks player Clayton Stoner has pled guilty to hunting without a license when he killed a grizzly bear in British Columbia in 2013 ... and has been banned from hunting for 3 years.

Stoner was originally accused of making false statements to wildlife officials in order to scam his way into getting a license ... though he denied ever lying.

The issue at hand ... hunting licenses are only given to people who spend at least 6 months out of the year in British Columbia. Stoner says he mistakenly believed he qualified.

The judge bought Stoner's story. In the end, 4 charges were dropped -- including knowingly making a false statement to obtain a hunting license, hunting out of season and unlawfully possessing dead wildlife.