Johnny Weir Olympic Paycheck Couldn't Buy Me a Purse!

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Johnny Weir appears to be way more cash strapped -- and less marketable -- than anyone thought, because reports that he made a cool million for the Winter Olympics are exaggerated 40 times over.

TMZ has obtained a draft of the contract Johnny signed with NBC. The network offered him an anemic $25,000 for the Sochi games. And get this ... NBC also wanted him to FLY COACH for the domestic flights.

Johnny's lawyer didn't even push back and make a counteroffer.

There were a few extras. NBC offered an addition $40K for Johnny to show up at 8 non-Olympic events. So the grand total for Mr. Weir was a whopping $65K.

FYI -- a Hermes Birkin 35 Pelouse Porosus Crocodile will set you back $78,000 ... and that's USED!

Bruce & Kris Jenner Don't Be Mistaken ... We're 100% Separated

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Bruce and Kris Jenner may still be wearing their wedding rings ... and occasionally even be touchy feely ... but they are NOT back together.

Kardashian family sources are scoffing at reports the couple rekindled things in Thailand.

We're told they don't hate each other. It's actually the opposite ... they're still close.

That said ... they are leading very separate lives. As we previously reported Bruce has had it with Hollywood and is living alone in Malibu. Kris is cranking out more shows at her home base in Calabasas.

As for Bruce's comment at LAX Wednesday -- insinuating they were never separated -- well, everyone tells a little white lie occasionally.

As for both of them wearing their rings again after a hiatus ... they both consider them "friendship rings."

Andrew Dice Clay Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater ... He's Divorcing His Wife But Wants to Keep Her

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Andrew Dice Clay hates his marriage but he loves his wife -- so he filed for divorce ... even though the comedian plans to stay with his woman 'til death do they part.

The Diceman filed the papers last month -- but he tells TMZ, it's NOT because he wants to get away from his wife Valerie Vasquez.

56-year-old Clay says, "The word 'marriage' was putting a pressure on our relationship and since we filed, we’ve been more in love and have had more respect for each other than ever before." Clay says the couple even celebrated their divorce at a fancy Hollywood restaurant.

Vasquez and Clay were married in Vegas on Valentine's Day in 2010. They have no kids together.

And Hollywood just gets weirder and weirder.

Bruce and Kris Who Said We Separated?

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Bruce and Kris Jenner may have decided to consciously re-couple, because they not only held hands together as they arrived back in the U.S. ... Bruce seemed to say they were never apart.

Kris and Bruce were at LAX, returning from Thailand, when one of the photogs asked if they were together again. Listen closely ... he says, "We've been together."

And ... it looks like both are wearing their wedding rings.

Here's the problem ... Kris herself said publicly last October they had separated, and Bruce moved out of the family home and put down stakes in Malibu.

So who to believe?

Bruce Jenner I Love You Long Time, Kris

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Bangkok really changed Bruce Jenner -- he returned to L.A. holding hands with his estranged wife today.

Kris Jenner was grinning for cameras as she and Bruce walked out of LAX with a tight grip on each other -- which seems odd for a bunch of reasons ... not the least of which being the fact they separated back in October.

Then again ... they're coming back from a Kardashian family trip to Thailand for their TV show -- so, as always ... hard to tell what's real and what's just for cameras.

Maybe Bruce just talked Thai real well.

Vladimir Putin Divorce Final Let Freedom Ring!

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Ladies, the bread line forms to the left.

Johnny Weir Crying Fit Over Fabergé Egg

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Johnny Weir clashed with his husband's lawyer this weekend -- over the sale of their Fabergé egg and other fancy belongings -- and it got so emotional ... Johnny broke down in tears ... sources tell TMZ.

According to sources, Johnny met with Victor Voronov's lawyer Sunday at the NJ storage locker containing the ex-couple's $20,000 Fabergé egg, a bunch of Louis Vuitton luggage, and other pricey community property -- in order to determine how it would all be sold off in the wake of their divorce.

TMZ broke the story ... Johnny and Victor agreed to sell off their expensive community property and place the proceeds in a trust to be split at a later date.

Sources tell us, Johnny asked to take all the items and sell them himself, but Victor's lawyer refused to let that happen because he didn't trust Johnny to follow the rules. We're told the argument escalated so bad Johnny started to cry.

We're told it took Johnny and Victor's lawyer 6 hours to come to a compromise -- ultimately, Johnny walked away with the egg and his wedding ring, and Victor's lawyer walked away with the LV luggage and Victor's wedding ring.

We're told each party agreed to sell his portion and deposit the proceeds in a trust -- clearly the only trust left in their relationship.

'Too Close' Singer I've Never Hit My Ex She's Lying

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Raphael Brown flat out denies allegations of physical abuse made by his estranged wife ... telling TMZ he's never laid a hand on her.

As TMZ first reported, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Brown -- best known as one of the guys from the group Next -- was granted a temporary restraining order after alleging the singer was abusive towards her ... including an incident where she claims he once kicked her in the stomach while she was pregnant.

But Brown tells TMZ ... he knows he was verbally abusive to his estranged wife Juliette, but it NEVER turned physical. He tells us, "I never kicked her in her stomach when she was pregnant with our son, who's now 10 years of age, nor when she wasn't with child. I never punched my ex-wife in the face, I've never grabbed my ex-wife by her neck or pushed her to the floor."

Brown claims Juliette harasses him online with a Twitter account she keeps private ... with no followers and no one following her. According to him, some of the tweets are racial in nature (Juliette is not black). For her part, she claims she is not racist and says she has shut down the account.

Brown says he just wants to get the divorce finalized and move on with his life ... telling us, "I have peace in my life and I have moved on. That chapter is closed and I want her to respect my position and do what's best for our children."

Gwyneth, Chris Divorce Amicable Because It HAS to Be

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Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin will end their marriage amicably ... in large part because they've each done things during the marriage they DON'T want ending up in legal docs.

Sources close to the former couple tell TMZ ... this is NOT a separation. They are definitely getting divorced. But both are concerned about serious PR damage if the divorce turns ugly, and they don't want to open the door to media reports about them straying from the marriage as well as other issues.

The concern ... even if the case doesn't go to trial ... any allegation put down in legal docs could end up getting leaked ... and both Gwyneth and Chris agree ... that's the worst case scenario for both of them.

The soon-to-be-exes even spent the weekend together ... with friends ... in the Bahamas -- more proof this is gonna be totally civil.

We're told the divorce will be relatively quick and there are no apparent conflicts. They will not fight over money and they won't fight over custody.

Nikki Reed I'm Lifting My Legs in the Air Now That I'm Single

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Nikki Reed ditched her wedding ring and tucked her head between her legs Saturday in Los Angeles ... just a day after announcing her divorce.

Reed hit up a yoga studio yesterday in Los Angeles and seemed to be in a pretty somber mood -- makes sense, her and "American Idol" star Paul McDonald just ended their marriage.

The couple says they're still working on an album together ... but they've been living separately for the past 6 months.

Don't worry Paul, Dunkleman feels your pain.

Johnny Weir's Husband I'm Going to Battered Women's School

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Johnny Weir's estranged hubby Victor Voronov was so traumatized from being bitten and allegedly abused by Johnny Weir ... he's going to take battered women's classes ... on Johnny's dime.

We've learned Johnny and Victor struck a private deal Friday in their ongoing divorce war. Victor wants to get therapy to regain emotional balance after all the tumult. And he thinks the place to go is a school that teaches groups of battered women how to cope.

There's no such thing as battered men's classes, so Victor is breaking new ground

Johnny is going to foot the bill for the classes.

That's what happens when you bite.

Terrell Owens' Wife Yes, Those Are My Nude Pics ... But Only T.O. Had Them

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Nude pics of Terrell Owens' estranged wife have popped up on the Internet ... and she's hinting that T.O. may be responsible for leaking them.

The photos of Rachel Snider hit Twitter today showing the ex-postal worker posing for bathroom selfies ... some topless, some bottomless ... and some that look like they're straight out of Hustler.

Gotta say ... some of 'em do make ya think T.O. should try to patch things up.

Snider confirmed the pics are definitely her, but adds they were taken for T.O. ... and intended for his eyes only.

Translation: she thinks he could be connected to the the Twitter handle sending out the pics.

Rachel says she's contacted Twitter HQ to report the user behind the x-rated tweets, but so far they're still up.

T.O.'s rep hasn't responded to our calls for comment.

2:40 PM PT -- Rachel's pics are down ... Twitter shut down the account.

Trace Adkins Divorce a Long Time Coming

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Trace Adkins' life sounds like a country song -- a drunken fight, rehab, the death of his father and now a divorce -- and it was anything but a spur-of-the-moment decision.

Trace's wife, Rhonda, filed divorce papers this week to end their 17-year marriage ... but Trace says they're still united in a way more important way -- making sure their children come first. The kids are 16, 12 and 9.

We're told Rhonda's decision to divorce was a long time coming -- and both say they're torn up by it.

It's been nothing but bad news for Trace since January ... when he got into a drunken fight with an impersonator on a cruise ship. He entered rehab to deal with his booze problem ... then bailed on rehab two weeks later to tend to his ailing father, who died in early Feb.

And then this week ... the divorce. It's unclear if the split is related to his alcohol issues.

Johnny Weir & Husband Settle Bitter Dog Custody War ... For Now

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The dog once shared by Johnny Weir and estranged hubby Victor Voronov now has TWO DADDIES once again -- the divorcing couple has agreed to joint custody of the pooch ... pending a full-blown custody trial ... TMZ has learned.

Weir and Voronov have been warring over the dog since their split. Under the arrangement, Voronov will get the dog for 1 week a month ... and when Weir leaves town for more than 2 days.

As we reported, Johnny took the dog while he was cleaning his stuff out of Victor's house -- and Victor looked on in tears. Johnny later claimed Victor used to beat the dog back when they were together.

And we thought Hollywood divorces couldn't get any more Hollywood.

Trace Adkins Wife Files for Divorce

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Lady don't love this country boy -- Trace Adkins' wife has filed for divorce ... after nearly 17 years of marriage.

Rhonda Adkins filed the docs in Tennessee, citing "irreconcilable differences."

According to the docs, the couple was married in 1997 and separated on Monday. They have three daughters (aged 16, 12, and 9). Rhonda wants primary residential custody as well as child support. She also wants alimony.

And this is interesting ... she wants to be named the sole beneficiary of Trace's life insurance policy.

It's unclear if the divorce is related to Trace's alcohol issues -- as we reported, the singer enrolled in rehab earlier this year after getting into a drunken fight with a Trace Adkins impersonator while on board a country music cruise.

Chris Martin His Fave Stones Song ... Is a Huge Shot at Gwyneth

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Chris Martin dropped a GIANT hint he and Gwyneth Paltrow were on the rocks when he revealed his favorite hit by the Rolling Stones -- and it wasn't "Miss You" ... or "She's a Rainbow."

Back in January 2013 -- around the time Chris and Gwyenth say they started "working" on things -- we got Chris in Santa Monica and asked him to pick his #1 Stones tune. Without missing a beat he said, "She's So Cold."

You've gotta see how quickly he answers ... it's pretty telling.

Also telling -- the lyrics:
- Yeah, I tried re-wiring her, tried re-firing her ... I think her engine is permanently stalled
- She was born in an arctic zone
- And when I touch her my hand just froze

On the bright side, Gwyneth ... he didn't say, "Beast of Burden" or "19th Nervous Breakdown."