Celebrity Divorce

Andre Agassi said a pretty horrible thing to Brooke Shields in the middle of their nasty divorce back in the day ... so says Brooke, who decided it was finally time to call out her ex on live TV yesterday.

Shields was co-hosting the "Today" show and discussing divorce with legendary disso-queen Laura Wasser -- who was plugging her new book, "It Doesn't Have to Be That Way: How to Divorce Without Destroying Your Family or Bankrupting Yourself."

But when the topic turned to divorces that involve children, Shields chimed in with a shocker ... claiming Andre once told her, "Be happy we don't have children or I would not have made this easy for you."

After an uncomfortable laugh, she continued, "And therein lies why I'm not there anymore."

FYI -- Agassi and Shields divorced in 1999 after a rocky 2 years together. After they split, Agassi penned an autobiography in which he said he never should have married Brooke in the first place.

We're guessin' the feeling is mutual.

Apparently Britney Spears heard Kevin Federline's threat loud and clear ... because she's backed off her comment that Sean Preston will join her on stage for her Vegas concert series.

Britney said in an interview during her big announcement last month ... "Preston will probably be on stage but I think Jayden would have a hard time with it."

The next day we got video of K-Fed ... and he made it clear, his 8-year-old would NOT be performing with Britney.

Britney's rep tells TMZ ... she was "joking" when she said Sean Preston would join her on stage. Frankly, it didn't sound like a joke. What's more, there's history ... the kid occasionally came out and danced on stage during her Femme Fatale tour.

In fact, during Britney's Circus tour back in 2009 ... K-Fed had beef with Brit over taking the kids on the road, but he settled it after getting $5k a week, as well as, all-expenses paid when he joined them on the road.

Paulina Rubio needs to have her head examined because she's frickin' crazy ... so claims her ex- husband who is trying to get a judge to order a psych evaluation on her.

We broke the stories ... Paulina and Nicolás Vallejo-Nájera have been battling for more than a year over their son. It's ultra-bitter, with each accusing the other of alienating the boy from them.

Vallejo-Najera is now pulling out all the stops. He claims she hasn't undergone a psych exam as ordered by the judge, so he now wants hizzoner to make it clear -- she better get her head shrunk, or else.

BTW ... Vallejo-Najera says he handed the tyke over to the "X Factor" judge on August 3, and hasn't seen the kid since.

George Zimmerman has a new set of legal woes -- his mother-in-law just filed a police report, claiming George stole furniture and a TV from her house.

Shellie Zimmerman's mom owns the house where George and Shellie were living before they split. The mom claims George was ordered to vacate no later than yesterday ... and apparently when he did her stuff went missing.

The house was also the scene of the gun incident earlier this month, where Shellie called 911 and claimed George was threatening her with a gun.

Michael Douglas took advantage of the senior discount at an Outback Steakhouse in New Mexico yesterday to celebrate his 69th birthday.

M.D. drudged along to his car with a friend after the meal ... no sign of ex Catherine Zeta Jones -- who he's reportedly trying to mend relations with.

We're not sure what he ordered ... but if it wasn't a bloomin' onion, then SHAME!!!

Shellie Zimmerman -- who stood solidly by husband George Zimmerman during his trial for gunning down Trayvon Martin -- now says she has doubts about George's innocence.

Shellie -- who's in the middle of a nasty divorce -- appeared on the "Today" show, saying "I think anyone would doubt [George's] innocence, because I don't know the person that I've been married to."

As for why Shellie's changing her tune ... she says it's all about the incident at their home this month when she called cops and claimed George was threatening her with a gun.

Robert Kennedy, Jr. is on the hunt for someone to date his cousin, Maria Shriver.

We got Robert in Hollywood last night ... and he said Maria's on the hunt for a man -- especially since Arnold now has a GF.

The environmentalist advises potential suitors to write Ms. Shriver a letter.

Kate Gosselin is gunning for a way to protect her 8 kids from a trigger-happy ex-husband ... TMZ has learned.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... Kate is talking to her people about getting the judge in their custody case to modify the order, requiring Jon to exercise restraint when it comes to firing weapons when he has the kids.

We're told she is "profoundly concerned" that Jon was armed last weekend when he left a restaurant, returned home and fired a warning shot in the air to scare a trespassing photog off his property. She says it was an "extreme reaction."

Kate is saying she's dumbfounded that Jon didn't just call 911 to report the trespasser.

When it comes to Jane Lynch and marriage ... she wants you to know the doctor is NOT in -- and yes, you can take that a couple of different ways.

We caught up with Jane outside her usual spot ... Kings Road Cafe, where she was chilling with Matt Sorum -- the Velvet Revolver drummer and soon-to-be groom -- and we've never seen her laugh this hard.

Jane absolutely busted up when we asked if she was giving Matt tips on achieving marital bliss. Her response is hysterical ... and maybe a little sad.

TMZ broke the story ... the "Glee" star is divorcing her wife, Dr. Lara Embry -- though she seems totally chill with the sitch in this clip.

Kevin Federline is crapping on Britney Spears' bright idea ... to put one of their sons on stage during her Las Vegas show, essentially saying, "Over my dead body."

When Brit announced her Vegas extravaganza she said 8-year-old Sean Preston would "probably be on stage" ... making surprise appearances from time to time.

Apparently K-Fed was not consulted ... and he made it pretty clear to us yesterday he's not keen on the idea. BTW, his opinion matters, since they share joint custody.

As for checking out Britney's show in Vegas ... K-Fed says he'll take a pass, because he's got better things to do in Sin City.

Arnold Schwarzenegger appears to have sealed his split from estranged wife Maria Shriver with a kiss ... for his new chick.

Arnold was photographed planting a big wet one on Heather Milligan Friday night after a romantic dinner in Santa Monica. (FYI, they ate at Fig in the Fairmont Hotel. Nice choice.)

They arrived and left separately, but that didn't stop Arnold from slipping Heather a sloppy goodbye kiss as she got into her car. They've been rumored to be dating for months.

Note to process server: All Mexicans don't look alike.

Luis Miguel was about to perform at a concert in Bakersfield, CA last night, when a process server was locked and loaded to serve him with papers in a child support case. Luis was in a limo when another dude got out and the server lunged.

The video is terrible, but you can hear the dude say he's not Luis. His name is Daniel.

Problem is ... the surprise was spoiled and the process server was ordered to leave ... but before his exit he planted the papers on the windshield of the limo.

Luis' ex, Telenovela star Aracely Arambula, has been after the singer for not paying child support for their 2 kids.

It seems Luis is not too keen on the justice system running its course, because he's making it hard for confused process servers.

FYI ... under California law ... service on a windshield is valid if the subject is inside the vehicle and the process server announces what he's doing in a clear, loud voice. We don't hear the process server say anything, so service is dicey.

George Zimmerman's divorce proceedings are on hold, TMZ has learned ... because he's gone Bigfoot on his wife.

The divorce can't move forward until George is served with papers, but his estranged wife Shellie's lawyer tells us, George is MIA.

The lawyer says he can't find George anywhere and has no idea how to track him down.

Sources close to George's family tell us they're in contact with him -- and he's safe -- but they don't know exactly where he is. We're told George plans to lay low for the foreseeable future.

"CSI" actor Wallace Langham has all the evidence anyone needs ... that his 11-year marriage is DOA ... TMZ has learned.

Langham -- who plays lab technician David Hodges on the show -- has filed for divorce from his wife, Karey Ann Richard... and it's the usual MO ... irreconcilable differences. They've been separated for the last year and a half.

There's one kid -- a 7-year-old daughter. Langham's asking for joint custody ... plus, he's asking the court to not award his wife any spousal support.

Case closed.

It never ends ... Dwyane Wade's ex-wife is poking the hornet's nest again -- this time demanding the right to publicly bash the NBA star.

Dwyane and Siovaughn Funches wrapped up their bitter six-year divorce in July, after Wade agreed to provide a generous financial settlement. As part of the deal Funches agreed to a gag order, prohibiting her from talking smack about their relationship.

But Funches has now filed legal docs challenging the settlement, claiming she never agreed to several terms -- including the gag order.

She wants a judge to nullify the agreement, which would force Wade back to the bargaining table.

As for the gag order, Funches says ... if Wade is free to bash her in his book , she should have the same right to bash him. A judge has yet to rule on her request.

Bethenny Frankel and soon-to-be ex-hubby Jason Hoppy can't pull a Watergate on each other anymore, because a judge has now prohibited them from secretly recording each other ... and for good reason.

Sources connected to the former couple tell TMZ ... since their separation, Jason has secretly recorded Bethenny on both video and audio. What's more ... we're told he also recorded their nanny and the Skinny Girl staff, working out of Bethenny's home-office. And, we're told Jason has gotten into the emails of Bethenny and her staff.

Our sources say the recordings don't go both ways -- Bethenny has never recorded Jason.

TMZ has learned ... the judge has ordered both Jason and Bethenny NOT use tape recorders, cell phones or computers to record each other. They're also prohibited from recording the nanny. And they're prohibited from intercepting emails.

We've learned the judge ordered Bethenny and Jason to ante up any video or audio recordings by October 15. That should be interesting.

Anyone miss Nixon?