Nurse!

Liz Dickson knew damn well her ass would be IN PLAY when she agreed to put a tee in her butt for a golf stunt at a Playboy event in 2012 ... and TMZ Sports has obtained audio that proves it.

We broke the story ... Liz filed a lawsuit against Playboy claiming she thought comedian Kevin Klein would only be POSING with his golf club for a photo op ... and was shocked when he took a whack.

But in audio recorded on the day of the stunt, Kevin makes his intention crystal clear -- saying to Liz, "Would you allow me to place a golf ball on a tee in your butt and attempt to tee off a shot right now down this first fairway?"

Liz initially responds, "Maybe" ... and then says, "What did I get myself into?"

Moments later, she lays down on her stomach and allows a member of Klein's team to place a tee in her butt ... and seems to be 100% in on the stunt.

At one point Klein asks, "How does the golf tee feel in the butt?"
Liz responds, "Ummm ... it's poking my butt."

Klein asks, "Do you enjoy it at all?"
Liz responds, "I love it."

Eventually, Klein takes a swing and smacks Liz in the cheek. When asked if it was painful, she says "it hurt" ... but never seems to object to Kevin taking a swing in the first place.

Miley Cyrus' tour bus went up in flames last night ... and when we say up in flames ... we mean UP IN FLAMES.

Miley's sister Noah posted a series of videos on Instagram last night with the caption "Tour bus down!" She later confirmed on Twitter that no one was injured.

Yes, everyone got out safe no one is injured what so ever!! everything is okay!!

— Noah Lindsey Cyrus (@noahcyrus) March 18, 2014

9:20 AM PT -- The tour bus was ferrying Miley's mom and sister before it burst into flames. We're told the fire was caused by a tire that exploded, but thankfully, they both escaped unharmed.

There was one casualty however -- the stuffed bunny they got at Cracker Barrel earlier in the day. Noah Instagrammed the bunny photo after the accident.

Terrell Owens just experienced his first L.A. earthquake ... and he's handling it just like we thought he would -- crying.

Moments after a 4.4 shaker rolled through Westwood early Monday morning, T.O. went right to Twitter ... saying, "I'm scared!! Can I get someone to come cuddle with me?! I'm from Alabama, we don't get stuff like this! #earthquake."

T.O. wasn't the first athlete to go through the L.A. rite of passage this morning -- Grant Hill also joined the club ... tweeting, "Just felt my first earthquake tremor in LA... Scary!!!"

But the best reaction had to go to L.A. native Baron Davis -- who wrote, "Hopefully this earthquake will convince a lot people living here,, 2 move back to where they live before... Cutdown traffic #justsaying."

We're rockin' and rollin' in L.A. this morning ... 'cause we just had an EEEAAARTHQUAKEE!!!!

Early reports are that SoCal was hit with a 4.7 and the epicenter is near Westwood, home of UCLA.

We definitely felt it here at the TMZ offices (except for a few people in the kitchen) .... don't worry we're fine.

During the shake, Harvey terrifyingly jumped off a live radio interview ... either because he was that concerned about the staff or because he thought he was going to die. We're not really sure.

Jillian Michaels and her crew got an unexpected surprise on her tour bus Sunday ... wild turkey.

Sadly it wasn't the fine bourbon ... it was a dead bird.

A turkey large enough to feed the entire "Sister Wives" group for Thanksgiving smashed into the bus windshield so ferociously ... it shattered the glass and went tumbling inside.

No humans were injured in the accident.

Jillian was travelling from Nashville to West Virginia giving motivational speeches on her "Maximize Your Life" tour.

Kendra Wilkinson has NO SYMPATHY for the model suing Playboy ... telling TMZ Sports only an IDIOT would let someone hit a golf ball off a tee shoved in their butt.

Kendra was leaving the Planet Blue clothing store in Bev Hills this week when she UNLOADED on Liz Dickson -- who claims she suffered injuries during the ass-stunt, which took place at a Playboy event back in 2012.

"That's HER fault," Kendra said ... before spending another minute ripping the model.

The girl who puked all over Lady Gaga's chest during SXSW this week says Demi Lovato needs to calm down ... because their performance wasn't meant to glamorize squat.

Performance artist Millie Brown tells TMZ ... she and Gaga did not intend to offend anyone struggling with bulimia -- they were attempting to challenge the concept of beauty.

Millie says, "there's a clear difference between using my body to create something beautiful, to express myself and feel powerful, rather than using it to punish myself and conform to society's standards."

As we previously reported ... Demi blasted the performance yesterday saying it glamorized bulimia.

No wonder this chick's so teed off -- TMZ has obtained video of model Liz Dickson taking that golf club to her ass at a Playboy event ... and it's gnarly as hell.

TMZ broke the story ... Dickson is suing Playboy for more than $500,000, claiming she was badly injured at a Playboy golf tournament in L.A. back in 2012 -- after she was asked to lie on her stomach with a tee between her butt cheeks ... while comedian Kevin Klein took a golf swing.

The video is crazy -- but the photo tells the real story.

In addition to the massive welt, Liz Dickson's attorney tells us, the model damaged her hip ligaments and nerves as a result of the accident. He also says she's incurred more than $33,000 in medical bills so far ... and still feels numbness and tingling in her right leg.

David Brenner -- who holds the record for number of appearances on the "Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson -- is on his death bed and people close to him say it's just a matter of days.

Sources close to Brenner say the 78-year-old comedian has cancer that has been aggressive ... spreading rapidly.

We're told Brenner slipped into a coma this week ... and doctors don't expect him to pull through.

David sat on Carson's couch 158 times ... and even hosted the "Tonight Show" a few times.

He was also a frequent guest on Howard Stern's radio show.

Demi Lovato -- who's struggled with an eating disorder for years -- says Lady Gaga's puking stunt at SXSW was despicable because it glamorizes a terrible disease in the name of art.

Lovato just laid a thick amount of shame on Gaga via Twitter ... saying "Sad ... As if we didn't have enough people glamorizing eat [sic] disorders already."

Demi adds, "Putting the word ART in it isn't a free card to do whatever you want without consequences."

This is nuts -- Wesley Warren (the man famous for his 132-pound scrotum) has passed away from a non-scrotum health issue.

According to reports, Warren passed away Friday at University Medical Center after suffering two heart attacks in recent weeks.

Warren's friend told the Vegas Review-Journal, Warren's been hospitalized for the last 5-and-a-half weeks for infections stemming from his diabetes, and suffered the heart attacks while in the hospital.

Prior to his surgery last summer to remove the exercise ball-sized growth, Warren used to wear hooded sweatshirts as pants, using the hood as a makeshift scrotum sling.

Warren had suffered from an extreme case of scrotal lymphedema, which causes the scrotum to swell with watery fluid. He appeared on the Howard Stern Show as well as Comedy Central.

Warren was 49.

Lady Gaga's antics are sometimes vomit inducing, but this is ridiculous ... last night at her SXSW show, she actually let some chick VOMIT ALL OVER HER while she performed.

The vomiter is no amateur ... she's actually a "vomit painter" (actual profession) named Millie Brown, who is known for drinking various liquids and then vomiting them up onto a canvas. In this case ... the canvas was Lady Gaga.

Gaga was playing drums on a song called "Swine" when Brown, after drinking neon green liquid, proceeded to stand over her, stick her fingers down her throat, and vomit the green liquid all over Gaga.

FOX Sports' Jay Glazer is laid up in the hospital fighting double pneumonia, but it could've been much worse -- TMZ Sports has learned his condition was touch and go 3 days ago.

Glazer was having a back procedure to treat a broken disc Tuesday morning ... but shortly after doctors put him under he got sick and started choking on his own vomit -- the fluid ended up filling BOTH lungs.

Glazer was rushed to an L.A. area hospital where his breathing was so shallow his blood oxygen level dropped into the 70s (90-100 is normal) -- which over any prolonged period can easily turn into a life or death situation.

FOX's NFL and UFC insider is still getting treatment to clear his lungs, and has improved slightly ... but it's unclear how much longer he'll be hospitalized.

Chris Brown claims an Orange County nightclub is hanging him out to dry by settling up with a woman who sued both Chris and the club ... claiming Chris brutalized her after his performance.

It's a weird lawsuit ... Deanna Gines claims as Chris was leaving Heat Ultralounge last June in Anaheim, he bulldozed through her path, knocking her to the ground and injuring her leg.

Chris calls BS on her story, and frankly he's got a point. In the surveillance video, she limps on one leg and when she appeared on TMZ Live she had a cast on the other leg.

Nonetheless ... Heat Ultralounge settled with Deanna for $15K, which means the only defendant left in the suit is Chris.

Chris' lawyer, Mark Geragos, thinks the settlement is grossly unfair to his client, because it will leave Brown holding the bag. So Geragos has filed documents asking the judge to block the settlement.

Ass-chewing ants ... and vagina-devouring mosquitoes -- just a few of the stars on a brutal new episode of "Naked and Afraid."

The runaway cable hit kicks off a new season with 2 suckers contestants -- Tyler and A.K. -- literally up to their crotches in the native bugs of the Amazon jungle.

As A.K. puts it ... "Right now they are eating my vajayjay alive!!"

We got this clip from the show that airs Sunday at 9PM on Discovery ...the damage these mosquitoes do to a body is just shocking.

Miley Cyrus' tongue has finally pissed off the wrong person -- and now he's filed a lawsuit.

Charles Nicholas Sarris filed his lawsuit against ShowFx Inc. -- an L.A. equipment supply company that was hired to make the giant novelty tongue slide for Miley's new Bangerz tour.

Sarris says he was hired to assist in the slide construction, and last month, he was badly injured on the job -- after the equipment and tools provided to him failed, causing him to fall and hurt himself bad.