Sex

Tori Spelling knows she could easily make a quick million or more by releasing her sex tape ... but TMZ has learned she has plans to do that ... NEVER.

Sources close to Tori tell us ... what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom ... and she's flat out rejecting Vivid honcho Steve Hirsch's offer to take a look at a bone-n-groan vid she claims to have made with her husband Dean back in 2009.

The exact quote: "She would never entertain an offer like that ... ever!"

We first reported ... Hirsch wrote a letter saying he's prepared to make a "substantial offer" for the video ... but wants to see it first to make sure it actually exists.

Fact is ... almost no one knew it existed ... until Tori decided to write about it in her new book.

Miley Cyrus is more trick than treat this Halloween ... at least judging by the photo of some very X-rated pumpkins she just posted on Twitter.

It's unclear if Miley carved the Jack-o'-lanterns herself -- but she's definitely proud of the 3 pumpkins, 2 of which contain images of people bangin' (one lesbian scene) and another gourd contains an image of a giant marijuana leaf.

And to tie the whole thing together, there's a sign that reads, "Happy F**king Halloween."

You stay classy, Miley.

If she was shy before, she sure as hell ain't now -- Tami Erin (who starred in the 1988 Pippi Longstocking movie) has gone full-on Vegas stripper after her sex tape hit the market ... and she's even making out with one of Tiger Woods' ex-mistresses.

The pics were snapped at a Halloween party she hosted over the weekend at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club -- surprise -- and the ex-mistress on the receiving end of her smooches is porn star Joslyn James ... aka Tiger mistress #11.

We're told Tami wasn't originally supposed to strip -- she was just hired to host the party -- but when she took the stage to thank the crowd ... she got into the stripping mood real quick ... people even tipped her. (No lap dances though.)

"Jersey Shore" star Vinny Guadagnino says he doesn't wanna knock up any ex-Hooters waitresses like Pauly D ... so he makes sure to wear a jimmy hat -- on top of his condom.

Vinny was strolling through NYC when we asked about co-star Pauly D's baby mama drama ... and he was pretty open about the whole thing.

V.D. says he's not lookin' to knock up ANYONE ... so when he bangs around, he double bags his junk ... just in case. No love child for this Guido.

Fun Fact -- Wearing two condoms actually INCREASES the chance of pregnancy ... 'cause the friction can break the condom (duh, remember 4th grade sex ed?)

One day Pauly D will tell his daughter the heartwarming story about that time he had a drunken, condom-less one night stand in Las Vegas ... with her mom.

Ok, maybe not so heartwarming.

Pauly D's bloodline will live on, because he has a little girl crawling around -- near the Jersey Shore ... TMZ has learned.

Here's what we know ... The mother is 25, born in Jersey but she met Pauly in Vegas last year. We're told they hooked up while he was DJing in Sin City.

The baby is a few months old, living with her mom.

The mom has filed court docs in New Jersey to formally establish paternity, but we've learned Pauly has already taken a DNA test and he's the dad.

Pauly tells TMZ, "I'm proud I'm a father. I am excited to embark on this new part of my life."

If a woman can read "Fifty Shades of Grey" in public ... then a man should able to peruse a "Playboy" wherever he wants, so says famed author Anne Rice who tells TMZ she supports PORN EQUALITY!

Anne is a literary titan -- penning the books behind "Interview with the Vampire" and "Queen of the Damned" -- and she's also big into erotica.

If you think Kanye West is proprietary about Kim Kardashian's ass, think again, because he clearly believes it's awesome and is glad she's sharing it with the world.

We're told his response when he saw Kim's Instagram pic was that he loves having a hot chick.

Kanye retweeted the link to the photo and wrote, "HEADING HOME NOW." In case his message isn't clear ... it was put to us this way ... he's proud of it because it's his girl.

Kanye West -- into sharing.

Oklahoma Sooners wide receiver Trey Metoyer has a problem -- he can't stop masturbating in public ... this according to police docs obtained by TMZ.

The sophomore -- who was a 5-star recruit out of high school -- was charged with 2 counts of felony indecent exposure after allegedly throwing a J in public on 2 separate occasions.

Here's the breakdown, according to cops:

8/29/13 -- Someone called police in Norman, OK to report a man wearing a blue shirt and blue pants pleasuring himself inside of a red Pontiac Grand Am.

9/17/13 -- A woman called police saying Metoyer approached her while she was walking her dog and asked to borrow a pen. She went inside her apt. to grab it and when she returned outside, Trey was outside of her front door"masturbating in front of her apartment."

The woman said Trey then asked her "if she would want the pen back."

We're guessing she declined his offer.

Cops say Metoyer initially denied the allegations -- but later acknowledged them and said " the incidents were a mistake and he was not thinking clearly at the time.''

Blake Shelton exercised his oral skills on his way out of a West Hollywood nightclub, urging the Westboro Baptist Church to wrap its head around his.

Blake was clearly tipsy as he left Usher's birthday bash at Bootsy Bellows nightclub ... but he was lucid enough to go after the hateful group that has urged a boycott of his concerts -- repeatedly saying the "Church" could "BLOW ME."

Members of the cretin org have beef with Blake, because he supports gay rights -- tweeting about his recent song, "Ya the boys 'round here think it's ok to be queer." They're also attacking Blake for having an affair with Miranda Lambert while he was still married.

Good thing to know Blake practices safe sex ... hate is not an STD.

(Harvey wrote that last line ... we don't get it either.)

Porn legend Lisa Ann -- famous for her lead role in the XXX movie "Who's Nailin' Paylin?" -- wasn't lying when she said NBA legend John Salley might have THE biggest penis on the planet ... at least, Salley didn't correct her when we asked about it.

FYI, Lisa -- who's seen plenty of penises in her lifetime -- went on Howard Stern last month, and said Salley's sausage DWARFED every other schlong she's ever seen. By a long shot. We won't go into the details, but she basically said it was like squeezing salami through a keyhole.

And Salley ain't denying it ... he was out in L.A. last night when we asked about his big braciola ... and he laughed, saying, "I take all compliments."

AND WE WOULD TOO. Great video.

World Series of Poker champ Greg Raymer -- aka "FossilMan" -- won't rot behind bars for allegedly soliciting a female prostitute in North Carolina back in March ... he paid his debt to society another way.

As we reported, 49-year-old Raymer -- who's married -- was busted at a Wake Forest hotel during a sting operation, and was subsequently charged with soliciting a hooker.

According to the court documents, obtained by TMZ, officials believe Raymer intended to commit a sexual act that is described as an "abominable and detestable crime against nature."

The document does not specify which "abominable and detestable" sex act he allegedly had in mind, so, you can let your imaginations run wild with that one.

But good news for Raymer ... both charges have been dismissed ... after the man successfully completed 75 hours of community service at a local non-profit.

According to official documents, Raymer -- whose total tournament winnings exceed $7.2 million -- also underwent a mental health assessment.

Not the best hand. But not the worst either.

It's the next logical step in Miley Cyrus' career ... PORN ... and one company just offered the singer a cool $1 million ... TO GET BEHIND THE CAMERA ... TMZ has learned.

Adult retailer GameLink is NOT asking Miley to strip naked, but they definitely want to get her elbow-deep in a hardcore sex scene ... from the director’s chair.

GameLink fired off a letter to Miley's people on Wednesday, offering her $1 mil for the directing gig (including full creative control) and even took a pot shot at Sinead O'Connor while they were at it. Burn. Check out the letter.

Now ... here's our list of Miley porn name ideas: 1) Wrecking Balls, 2) Dirty Twerk, 3) She Can't Stop, 4) MTV VMA-nal ...

Kris Jenner is not looking to bang anyone, nor is Bruce, in the wake of their separation ... so says Kris.

Jenner tells TMZ ... her separation from Bruce was not in the least bit acrimonious ... she says she and Bruce still love each other, get along great, work together, talk on the phone 12 times a day, and remain "best friends." She says there was no "last straw."

So that begs the question ... Why separate? Kris simply says, "We're just happier living apart."

And, she's neither ruling out divorce or, for that matter, getting back together ... "Who knows? We don't have a crystal ball."

Kris says she and Bruce were talking yesterday about planning their big, annual XMAS eve party, so "everything is normal."

As for dating someone else, Kris says, "WE haven't even discussed. There hasn't been a thought or a twinkle."

As for reports Bruce felt bullied by the women, Kris scoffed and said, "He's a big boy. He can more than take care of himself."

Britney Spears' dad/conservator and her manager deny pressuring her to sexualize her music videos.

Britney said in a radio interview she felt she was being pushed further than she wanted to go, although she didn't name names. She said she watched what she shot and cut out some of the raciest scenes.

Jamie Spears and manager Larry Rudolph tell TMZ, "Britney is never pressured into anything. She reviews all creative and for her 'Work Bitch' video she discussed toning down some parts in finding a balance of sexy and being a mom."

The reason this is so significant -- Britney is under a conservatorship, meaning she's fragile and not mentally stable enough to fend for herself. That's why Jamie was placed into the position of being her protector, and Larry is pretty much required to respect that as well.

So the question. If not Jamie and Larry, who was pressuring Britney, and why was anyone allowed to pressure her in the first place?

Britney Spears claims she's under a lot of pressure to make hyper-sexual music videos -- but now, Britney says ... she's over it.

31-year-old Britney called in to The TJ Show on AMP 103.3 in Boston this morning ... and when the conversation turned to her racy new video for "Work B**ch," Brit made it clear she's being pushed too far.

"A lot of sex goes into what I do. But sometimes I would like to bring it back to the old days when there was like one outfit through the whole video, and you’re dancing the whole video, and there’s like not that much sex stuff going on."

She continued, "It’s about the dance and it’s about being old school, it’s like keeping it real and just making it about the dance. I’d love to do a video like that.”

Britney also said the original cut for the music video was too risque ... and she had to put her foot down to protect her reputation:

"Oh my god, we showed way more skin and did way more stuff for the video than what is actually there. Like, I cut out half the video because I am a mother and because, you know, I have children, and it’s just hard to play sexy mom while you’re being a pop star as well."

"I just have to be true to myself and you know, feel it out when I do stuff.”

At one point, the DJ asks Britney, "Are they pushing you further than you wanna go and then you sit in the editing room and say, 'No that has to go' and that's pretty much how that's all lined up?"

Britney laughs nervously and then responds, "Yes."

What's interesting -- the video for "Work" is probably the least sexualized video she's done ... maybe ever.