Arnold's Love Child Spitting Image

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TMZ has obtained lots of information -- as well as photos -- of the boy Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered out of wedlock -- and he looks shockingly like Arnold himself.

The mother -- Mildred Patricia Baena (she goes by Patty) -- was a housekeeper/assistant for the family for more than 20 years. Her jobs included cleaning, laundry, cooking and other chores.

Sources tell TMZ -- in the late '90s Patty began to "pursue Arnold." She told friends they would have unprotected sex during the day at the house. Patty never slept overnight at the house and no one ever caught them in the act.

We're told when she became pregnant, she didn't tell Arnold he was the father. Arnold didn't learn he was the daddy until the boy was a toddler.

Patty -- who made $1,200 a week -- was treated well by Arnold once he found out. Sources say Arnold was always "generous."

Patty -- who has recently retired -- now lives in a 4 bedroom house with a pool, several hours outside of L.A. with the boy and her 3 other kids.

We are not revealing the identity of the boy, however his features are eerily like Arnold's. We have various pictures of him at various ages (he's now in his early teens) and each picture shows striking similarities, especially the mouth and teeth.

Kirk Cameron Stephen Hawking is WRONG!!!!!

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Super Christian Kirk Cameron says Stephen Hawking is WRONG about the non-existence of Heaven -- insisting Hawking is just as ignorant as ... (wait for it) ... John Lennon.

Kirk -- who is HUGELY active in his evangelist church -- tells TMZ Hawking has no scientific evidence to back his claim that Heaven is merely a, "Fairy story for people afraid of the dark."

Cameron tells us, "Professor Hawking is heralded as 'the genius of Britain,' yet he believes in the scientific impossibility that nothing created everything and that life sprang from non-life."

He adds, "Why should anyone believe Mr. Hawking's writings if he cannot provide evidence for his unscientific belief that out of nothing, everything came?"

So how does John Lennon fit in to all this? Cameron explains:

Danielle Staub I'm A STRIPPER Now

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Now that she's no longer a "Real Housewife of NJ" ... Danielle Staub has picked up a new career as a fully nude, reconstructed, 48-year-old STRIPPER ... and for better or worse, we've got the photos to prove it.

TMZ has learned ... Staub recently signed a 3-year deal with the people at Scores Gentleman's Club in NY -- in which Danielle agreed to do one live appearance and occasionally appear on ScoresLive.com.

Of course, Staub is no stranger to public nudity -- who can forget her infamous sex tape ... in which Danielle erotically advises her partner about the perils of downing an onion and cheese bagel ... and some broccoli ... right before boom boom time.

Hot.

Lindsay Lohan I'm Being STALKED!!!

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Lindsay Lohan claims she has footage and text messages proving she's being stalked by a person who has been "threatening to kill" her ... and she's now going to the cops for help.

Lilo went on Twitter today and posted a photo of the man allegedly posing the threat -- saying, "This is the freemason stalker that has been threatening to kill me- while he is TRESPASSING! I'm actually scared now."

She continued, "all my fans, my supporters, please stand by me. g-d bless xxL."

We're told LiLo believes the man has been obsessed with her for nearly 4 years ... frequently dropping by her home and leaving weird gifts for the actress. We're also told he's been sending her "insane" text messages for the past few years.

Sources tell us Lindsay does not know the identity of the alleged stalker -- but she wants the cops to help keep the mystery man away ASAP.

Cali Swag Fatal Shooting -- Beef Over A Girl?

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Murdered Cali Swag District member M-Bone may have been targeted after a Twitter war over a girl ... sources connected with the group tell TMZ.

Our sources say M-Bone's friends have been in touch with cops, telling investigators after he got back to L.A. from his tour, he got involved with a girl. M-Bone's friends say a guy who lived in the woman's building didn't like the relationship, and allegedly began threatening M-Bone via Twitter.

We're told M-Bone did not back down and the two men started cyber smack-talking each other.

TMZ has learned ... the black car in which M-Bone was shot is registered to the woman.

Cops are trying to figure out why M-Bone was driving the woman's car and whether the cyber war is in any way related to the shooting.

And one more important detail. Witnesses tell TMZ, the shooter fired, left, then pulled a U-turn and came back around, possibly to see if he hit his target. The upshot -- it might not be random, as first suspected.

Botox Mom Loses Custody of Daughter

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The woman who admitted on national television that she injected Botox into her 8-year-old daughter ... has now lost custody of the girl.

Child Protective Services in San Francisco launched an investigation last week after Kerry Campbell went on "Good Morning America" and told the world she gave her daughter Britney the anti-wrinkle injections herself ... to help her compete in beauty pageants.

According to ABC News, Britney has been removed from the home by CPS and taken into their custody while an investigation is conducted.

Britney is reportedly "doing well."

Donald Trump: Hail to Someone Else -- I'm Not Running

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Donald Trump says if he ran for President of the United States he'd win, but he still decided against doing it.

Trump says, "I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run I would be able to win the primary and ultimately the general election." But, Trump concludes, "Ultimately business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector."

Trump, always shy, says, it was a hard decision, "especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country."

And in a shocker, Trump didn't wait until the finale of "Celebrity Apprentice" -- he pulled out a week before he crowns the winner. Timing, Donald.

Stephen Hawking Declares 'There Is No Heaven'

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Renowned scientist Stephen Hawking doesn't want to rain on your parade or anything -- but he'd like you to know there is no such thing as heaven when you die. Debbie Downer!

In an interview with the Guardian, Hawking explained, "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark."

If there is no heaven ... how does he explain bacon, Bar Refaeli, and the iPad?

M-Bone Victim of Random Drive-By Shooting

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M-Bone -- who was fatally shot last night -- was the victim of a drive-by shooting, and it appears to be a random act of violence ... law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

M-Bone -- aka Mante Talbert from the rap group Cali Swag District -- was next to his car in front of an Inglewood, CA liquor store at 11:32 PM Sunday when shots rang out. Our sources say the shooter was driving down La Brea Avenue alone in his car when he fired.

Inglewood detectives are investigating, but right now it looks like M-Bone was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We're told M-Bone, who became famous with his group for the song, "Teach Me How to Dougie," was taken to the hospital where he was pronounced dead.

Sheridan: Cherry Says Parker Was Gay to Marry Eva

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Nicollette Sheridan claims "Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry committed the ultimate wedding faux pas -- claiming Tony Parker must have been into boys as he said "I do" to Eva.

TMZ obtained Nicollette's declaration in the brutal legal fight she's having with Cherry over her firing on the show.

In the declaration, Nicollette claims, "I was present at Eva Longoria's wedding to Tony Parker, when Mr. Cherry commented that 'Tony must like boys, because he is marrying this -- this little, small girl with no t*ts and -- that looks like a boy.'"

For the record, he couldn't be that gay because he divorced her. Kidding.

Willow Palin Busted for Speeding ... In an ESCALADE

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Sarah Palin's 16-year-old daughter Willow pulled a fast one last week -- because TMZ has learned she got a speeding ticket in Alaska ... for driving nearly 20 mph over the speed limit.

According to docs filed in Alaska -- Willow was pulled over last Thursday for driving 84 in a 65 ... in the Palin family's black Escalade.

According to the docs, she was issued a "minor offense" citation for $162 and let go without further incident.

Better luck next time.

Hollywood Club Attack Suspect -- ARRESTED

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The man suspected of brutally coldcocking a Hollywood clubgoer Wednesday morning has been arrested ... TMZ has learned.

According to law enforcement sources, the unidentified suspect -- said to be in his 30s -- was arrested this morning in his L.A. home on suspicion of felony assault ... and is currently being held on $500,000 bail.

Shocker ... law enforcement tells us, alcohol played a key role in the incident outside the Roxbury nightclub -- when the attacker delivered a devastating punch to the head of a man who had just walked out of the club.

As for the victim -- we're told he suffered a fractured skull, but is expected to make a full recovery.

Oxygen Network BANS 'Bad Girls Club' Star

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Former "Bad Girls Club" star Christina Hopkins has been BANNED from appearing on the Oxygen network EVER AGAIN following her vile, racist rant ... TMZ has confirmed.

A rep for Oxygen tells us, "Oxygen condemns those comments… she will never appear on Oxygen again."

TMZ broke the story ... Hopkins unleashed a disgusting, racist rant directed towards an African-American woman last month -- dropping the N-word 12 times in less than 90 seconds.

Hopkins later apologized -- saying the rant "wasn't meant in a derogatory way."

Charlie Sheen: Ashton's Going Down With the Ship

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Charlie Sheen delivered the ultimate back-handed compliment to Ashton Kutcher, telling TMZ he's talented but the show will tank.

Charlie tells TMZ, "Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer ... Oh wait, so am I!!"

Charlie continues, taking a shot at the show, saying, "Enjoy the show America. Enjoy seeing a 2.0 in the demo every Monday, WB." Essentially, Charlie is saying the age group that supported him is going to tune out.

Charlie adds, "Enjoy planet Chuck, Ashton. There is no air, laughter, loyalty, or love there." Of course, Charlie is referring to his nemesis, "Men" creator and Executive Producer Chuck Lorre.

Mystery Celeb Negotiating Herpes Settlement

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Sources connected with the mystery celebrity herpes lawsuit tell TMZ ... the lawyer for the person who allegedly contracted herpes during a Las Vegas romp has been negotiating a financial settlement with the celeb. And, by the way, the incident DID NOT OCCUR ON APRIL 1.

Our sources say before the lawsuit was filed, attorney Keith Davidson contacted the celebrity's rep and began negotiating a settlement, but the amount was "way too low" for the plaintiff. We're told Davidson then decided to file the lawsuit "as a warning shot across the bow."

After the suit was filed, our sources say negotiations have continued and the celeb has upped the settlement ante, although the parties are still far apart.

TMZ broke the story ... Davidson filed the suit on behalf of an unnamed plaintiff, claiming the celeb -- also unnamed -- assured the plaintiff before having sex that he was herpes-free. The suit claims the celeb gave the plaintiff herpes.

Now get this ... TMZ has learned the alleged sexual encounter occurred LONG BEFORE APRIL 1, 2011. The suit claims the incident occurred "on or before April 1." We're told the actual incident occurred many months before April 1, but attorney Davidson intentionally put April 1 so reporters would not begin speculating who was in Vegas and who might be the culprit.

'Men' a Go Ashton to Make Way Less than Charlie

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Ashton Kutcher has officially signed on to "Two and a Half Men" ... and TMZ has learned he'll be making more than half of Charlie Sheen's base salary ... but less than $900,000 an episode.

Sources tell TMZ, Charlie's base pay on the show was $1.25 million an episode. We've learned Ashton will get more than half -- more than $625,000 -- but less than $900,000.

There are reports Charlie received upwards of $2 million an episode, but that includes his profit participation.

And TMZ has learned, CBS honcho Les Moonves has already signed off and he will announce the show is coming back for Season 9.

And sources say the remaining cast -- including Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones -- will be coming back.

We're told Ashton spent time with creator and Executive Producer Chuck Lorre and the two got along great -- something that was essential for Lorre, who was at war with Charlie.

Ashton will NOT be playing the Charlie Harper character. He'll be playing someone new, who comes into the "Men" Malibu house.