Hook Ups

Katy Perry's got an unlikely new BF -- rapper Riff Raff -- at least that's on Riff Raff's wish list ... because he's SMITTEN after the two went on a date last week ... despite his obvious addiction to other women in thong bikinis.

Raff was out in Miami Tuesday when we asked about his date with the "Dark Horse" singer -- Raff says he took Katy out for the Holy Trinity ... sushi, bowling, and drinks ... and he had a blast.

If Katy's down -- Raff says he'd love to see her again ... maybe next week when she's back in the country.

We're a little surprised though -- Katy's a busty woman ... and from this clip, it's pretty clear Raff's an ass man. You gotta see it.

Khloe Kardashian is steaming mad at Joan Rivers for spoofing her sister's sex tape by doing a pretty hilarious rendition with Ray J ... so she bailed on co-hosting Joan's show at the last minute.

Khloe was scheduled to shoot Wednesday for Joan's E! show "Fashion Police," but sources close to production tell us ... Khloe pulled out .... hmmm, just like Ray J.

It's thrown Joan's show into panic mode -- probably to the satisfaction of Khloe -- because they have to scramble for a new co-host and re-do the script.

TMZ broke the story ... Joan filmed a comedy sketch with Ray J for her new WE tv show "Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?" -- spoofing Ray J and Kim Kardashian's famous sex romp.

It's pretty hilarious ... but the Kardashians aren't laughing.

It's the most unlikely truce in history -- Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz' ex-wife Mashonda ... the same woman who once publicly accused Alicia of breaking apart her marriage.

The photos were taken this weekend in St. Barts -- showing Swizz, Alicia, and Mashonda all vacationing together with their children (Swizz fathered kids with both women).

It's wild -- nearly 5 years ago, Mashonda wrote a nasty open letter to Alicia in the wake of her divorce from Swizz, blaming Alicia for taking part in the affair that destroyed her marriage and family.

From the letter, you'd think Mashonda and Alicia would be enemies for life -- but the photos tell a much different story.

Swizz Beatz -- the new Simon Cowell.

Ray J has re-entered the world of porn ... and he's gone from blow jobs to nose jobs.

The man famous for making Kim Kardashian a star hit the sheets with Joan Rivers for a very dirty session. Ok ... nowhere near as dirty as he got with Kim, but in old lady terms, it's raunchy.

As Joan does so well ... they faked sex for her WE tv show, "Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?" (which premieres March 29). You gotta watch ... it's pretty funny.

Even though it's all for gags ... Vivid Entertainment honcho Steven Hirsch tells TMZ he did meet with Joan to discuss the possibility of making her his first GILF star. He tells us, "I'd pay her $100,000 right now!"

The question is ...

Our photog gave Karrueche Tran plenty of chances to rip her ex Chris Brown to shreds last night ... but she took the high road each time.

We got Karrueche walking into 1 OAK in West Hollywood where our guy peppered her with questions -- asking her about jail, his alleged cheating, his new modeling agency -- all designed to get her to trash CB ... but she did not take the bait. Not once.

Karrueche Tran didn't dump Chris Brown because of the girl he allegedly banged in rehab -- sources close to the model tell TMZ ... she dropped the hammer on their relationship because he refused to stop texting his army of jump offs.

There's been speculation that Karrueche pulled the plug when she found out he had hooked up with another girl in his facility at the beginning of March -- but we're told the break-up preceded that ... We're told Karrueche ended things after she visited Chris in rehab the month before.

Sources tell us ... Karrueche saw Chris' phone during her visit -- and it was filled with inappropriate texts from other girls. It was the last straw. We're told Karrueche was especially pissed because she'd been nothing but supportive to Chris throughout his ordeal, even going to court with him.

The Duke men's basketball team now has all the incentive they need to win March Madness ... because the school's most famous student (sorry Jabari) will have a gift waiting for them if they cut down the nets.

TMZ Sports caught up with Belle Knox -- the girl who was recently outed as a student putting herself through college by doing porn -- outside Headquarters Gentlemen's Club in NYC, where she just made her first strip club appearance.

After our photog admitted to being a "huge fan" of her work, Knox gave her Final 4 picks. Of course she included Duke, saying, "If Duke wins March Madness, then I will give every one of the basketball team members ..."

Watch the video to see how she finished that sentence. It's not quite as good as you'd think.

George Clooney has met his match with what appears to be his new girlfriend ... and if he doesn't marry this one, it ain't happening, period.

George and Amal Alamuddin were leaving the ritzy Carlyle Hotel in NYC Tuesday night when a photog snapped this pic.

How to say ... this chick has credentials. She's a lawyer (schooled at Oxford and NYU School of Law) who specializes in international law and has represented WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. She is fluent in French and Arabic and co-wrote a book entitled, "The Law and Practice of the Special Tribunal for Lebanon."

So if George is looking for a babe -- check. lf he wants someone smart who can hold her own in a conversation -- check. If he wants someone who already has a career who isn't interested in becoming a star -- check.

Which brings us to the question ...

Paula Deen can drop all the n-bombs she wants ... DJ Paul is still down with the celebrity chef, and says he'd love to get in the kitchen with her today.

The Three 6 Mafia rapper -- slash chef and celeb caterer -- told us yesterday in NYC ... he's unfazed by the whole controversy surrounding Paula using the n-word.

Paul says he was hanging out with Deen at a food festival in NYC minutes before he got arrested in 2012, and added ... "I look at Paula Deen as a mom" ... and she can holla at him anytime.

But the Academy Award winner revealed the chef he wants more than a phone call from is Rachael Ray. You gotta hear his metaphor about his weenie and RR's pot ... classic.

Chris Brown will stay in jail until April 23 ... he was SHUT DOWN in court Monday afternoon in his bid to win release.

Chris was arrested after getting booted from rehab Friday. The judge had ordered him to stay in rehab while he decided whether Brown violated his probation in the Rihanna case. The judge had Chris arrested almost immediately after the rehab facility kicked him out.

The judge said Chris had an "inability to stay out of trouble." Hizzoner was especially concerned at a statement Chris made at the rehab joint, "I am good at using guns and knives."

So Chris will sit in jail until April 23. The judge wants Chris in the slammer until a D.C. jury decides if Chris committed criminal assault in an unrelated case. That trial is set for April 17 and should only last a few days. It's unclear if the judge will let Chris back to attend the trial.

The L.A. judge will hold a probation violation hearing on April 23, and if Chris is convicted in D.C. he's in big trouble. Worst case scenario ... he could be sentenced to 4 years in prison for violating probation in the Rihanna case. One of the conditions -- obey all laws.

TMZ broke the story, Chris was booted from rehab Friday for violating three internal rules at the facility -- most significantly ... violating a rule specifically for Chris -- stay at least 2 feet away from every woman in the facility. He was seen touching a woman's elbow and hands.

He also violated the rule requiring him to submit to a random drug test. He belatedly had a change of heart and came up clean, but the initial refusal was a violation.

And Chris talked smack about rehab during a group therapy session.

Chris was arrested immediately after he got kicked out ... staying in rehab was a requirement of the judge pending his trial in D.C. next month for assault.

Jason Aldean is dating the "American Idol" alum who broke up his marriage -- and we're told they've been hooking up ever since he filed for divorce.

Brittany Kerr -- the A.I. floozie -- was photographed backstage in the wings of Aldean's concert Friday night ... and now we're told it's official ... they're a couple.

It's pretty stunning ... in September, 2012, the two of them were photographed making out at a bar on the Sunset Strip -- it was so obvious they could be seen from the street.

Aldean said at the time it was a one time deal -- a drunken mistake -- and he took a taxi home alone.

Aldean filed for divorce last May.

So now the question ... did they ever really stop seeing each other? No one is saying, but we do know Kerr was in the crowd at his show on January 10th in Austin.

She didn't make it far on "Idol" but she's clearing home base with Aldean.

Chris Brown was thrown out of the Malibu rehab facility Friday for violating 3 internal rules ... including a special rule imposed specifically on him -- STAY AT LEAST 2 FEET FROM THE WOMEN.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... the rehab facility imposed the 2-foot rule because of the Rihanna case -- specifically, that he beat her. The people who run the facility imposed the highly unusual rule, and we're told Chris violated it by touching elbows and hands with a woman.

As for the 2 other violations, we're told Chris left the facility last week on an authorized outing, but when he returned he was told to submit to a random drug test and he refused. Our sources say he later took the test and the results were negative, but the initial refusal was a violation of rules.

And the third violation ... the facility claims Chris made a mockery of rehab during a group session with some harsh comments.

Our sources say Chris was also in some sort of sexual encounter with a woman at the facility at the beginning of the month, but for some reason that is not part of the basis for booting him.

TMZ broke the story ... Chris was arrested Friday because he violated the order of the judge in the Rihanna case ... the judge required him to stay in rehab for anger management until mid-April, when his Washington D.C. assault case ran its course.

He's currently being held in jail without bail. His lawyer, Mark Geragos, will appear in court Monday with Brown in an attempt to get him freed. We're guessing Geragos will ask for house arrest until the D.C. trial.

Rihanna's locking it down -- she and Drake are officially exclusive.

Multiple sources extremely close to the couple tell us, Rihanna and Drake have gone from casually hooking up to seriously dating ... they've decided to give it a serious shot.

We're told Rihanna wants to spend as much time with Drake as her schedule will allow -- because he treats her better than anyone she's ever been with. Not a high bar.

As we reported, the pair have been virtually inseparable while Drake's been touring in Europe -- we're told Rihanna has spent every single night with him since she arrived.

Porsha Williams isn't wanting for cash after her ex-husband screwed her over in their divorce -- sources tell TMZ, she's now knocking boots with the exorbitantly wealthy son of an African dictator ... notorious for human rights violations.

According to sources, Porsha has been seeing 42-year-old Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue, son of Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo, President of Equatorial Guinea ... since 1979.

Mbasogo (the father) is known as one of Africa's most brutal and corrupt rulers -- not only for having his predecessor executed and political opponents tortured, but for pillaging his own country's oil wealth ... while its people live in abject poverty.

And his son is reaping the benefits -- living like a king in Malibu and all around the world.

We're told Mangue (the son) has been showering Porsha with expensive gifts for the last month -- Louboutin shoes, Chanel ... even a Rolls Royce -- and Porsha has been posting photos of the gifts on Instagram.

Sources say the romance is pretty new ... but it's escalating fast -- we're told Mangue is currently looking to buy Porsha a multimillion-dollar house in ATL.

Things are looking up for newly separated Matt Roloff ... a dating company catering to little people wants to plaster his adorable face on its website and in return help him score a fresh piece for himself.

DateALittle.com made the offer to the "Little People, Big World" star after news broke he separated from his wife. Matt -- who's like the George Clooney of little people -- has a deal on the table to become the official spokesperson.

The company's pitch to Matt is that there's something far more valuable than monetary compensation ... the opportunity to find a new relationship.

Fact is ... DateALittle.com has delivered in the past. It's where Bill and Jen Arnold, from "The Little Couple," first connected ... and lived happily ever after.

If Matt rejects the offer, they'll reach out to Amy, which we're guessing won't go over well.

Turn Ons: Short walks on the beach.
Turn Offs: High kitchen cabinets.

Rihanna and Drake are doing it! And by doing it we mean this is the first video of them holding hands.

Drake had performed earlier Tuesday night and had an after-party at Club Entourage in Manchester England, when a photog got the first real romantic shot of the duo.

They went to a bowling alley after and stayed til 4 AM. We're told they rented out the entire joint.