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Hugh Jackman said it with a sexy grin but it still hurt like hell -- Wolverine will NOT appear in "Deadpool 2." A thousand apologies, Ryan Reynolds.

We got Logan himself in NYC on Thursday and pressed him about Ryan -- who plays Wade Wilson's alter ego, Deadpool -- still desperately trying to get him to hop on the Marvel flick crossover. Ryan said as much last week ... even though "Deadpool 2" is being released next Friday.

Hugh was asked about it on 'GMA' Thursday morning and straight-up said Ryan's coming off a little too thirsty ... saying, "Ryan ... back it up a little. Play a little hard to get. It's too much. It's not sexy."

Amy Schumer broke a huge rule on the comedy club circuit by crashing an up-and-coming comedian's stand-up set, according to fellow comic Michael Blackson.

We got Blackson at LAX Thursday afternoon where he told us what Amy did this week at Carolines in NYC was just plain rude. If ya missed it, she interrupted Brendan Sagalow Tuesday night, right in the middle of his set to practice her monologue for 'SNL.' She's hosting this week.

Sagalow has said he's cool with how it went down, but other comedians are taking Amy to task. Michael says it's not that an A-lister like Amy doesn't get preferential treatment -- it's just that there's a way to do it, and Michael says Amy should know that.

He had some harsh advice for her, for which we suspect HE's gonna catch some flak.

Jeremy Roenick says he's sick and tired of Brad Marchand's face-licking antics on the ice ... and says the guy needs to save his tongue for the bedroom.

Marchand went on a mouthy tear during the NHL playoffs -- licking opponents faces at close range to try and piss them off. Shocker, it worked.

"It was disgusting," Roenick tells TMZ Sports.

"I love Brad Marchand. Love the way he plays, but he's a superstar. Superstars don't need to lick other people's faces."

Roenick says he's no stranger to the oral attack on the ice -- noting that Matthew Barnaby once kissed him during a game to try and get in his head.

Turns out, they actually became close friends afterward!

The crowd at the Met Gala was silent as Madonna dramatically laid on the floor during her highly anticipated performance ... building up suspense before singing "Hallelujah."

... and that's when Tiffany Haddish chimed in!

The actress -- feeling the moment -- shouted at the stage (in a good way) trying to hype Madge up before the second part of her show.

Madonna had come out singing "Like a Prayer" -- but slowed things down before "Hallelujah" ... performing an artsy dance routine while surrounded by a bunch of people dressed like monks.

Don't worry, Haddish didn't break Madge's concentration -- in fact, she absolutely slayed the Leonard Cohen classic.

Katy Perry almost didn't make it to the Met Gala this year, all because her ride started acting like an old hunk of junk ... but she had a prayer somewhere there in the engine.

Katy was literally en route (parade style, it seems) to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC ahead of the Gala Monday, when all of the sudden her 1930s-style whip wouldn't start about a block away from the venue. Eyewitnesses say it was working just fine moments earlier.

In the video -- obtained by TMZ -- you see the panic set in as her driver tries a couple times to get it turned on, to no avail at first. Luckily for her ... the third (fourth? fifth?) time proved to be a charm. She got a big cheer from the crowd around her ... and someone even called her "such a babe" and "so hot" in her fallen angel outfit.

Ken Jeong often plays a doctor on TV, but his real-life medical training helped out tremendously when a woman suffered a seizure during his live show ... TMZ has learned.

Ken was doing a comedy set at Stand Up Live Saturday night in Phoenix, where a lady began seizing in the third row toward the beginning of the show. Eyewitnesses tell us Ken appeared to think it was a heckler, but the audience quickly made it clear she needed help.

As soon as he realized what was happening, we're told Ken hopped off the stage and rushed to the woman's aid. Sources say he cleared the area and attended to her while paramedics arrived. An audience member who was also an EMT assisted as well. Oh, and in case you didn't know ... Ken actually obtained his M.D. back in the '90s. So, he's legit.

Ken stayed with the woman until an ambulance arrived -- we're told at some point she regained consciousness while under his care and was brought back to her feet. She was eventually taken to a hospital, and Ken resumed the show. We're told he quickly addressed the situation, saying he was happy to be able to help ... and got a round of applause.

Paging "Dr. Ken" never sounded more serious.

Kevin Hart once had a fun guys' night out on the town with J.T. "Action" Jackson -- the guy charged with extorting Kevin in the sex tape case -- and a TMZ photog captured the whole hilarious scene.

J.T. and Kevin were leaving dinner at Philippe Chow back in June 2010 ... and while Kev was anxious to get in his Range Rover and go home, J.T. wanted to clown around and show off his pro bowling card to our camera guy.

Kev eventually got fed up with waiting and bolted. You've gotta see how J.T. reacted. We'll say this -- dude was quick on his feet as he chased down Kevin's SUV.

It was hysterical then, and it shows just how close they were. As we told you, J.T. was charged with attempted extortion and extortion by threatening letter ... both felonies. Prosecutors believe he threatened to release the sex tape shot of Kevin and a woman in a Vegas hotel room.

We're guessing Kevin's wishing he'd ditched JT for real that night, IF he's guilty.

Wayne Brady says the guy who got slammed into the friend-zone on "Let's Make A Deal" only has himself to blame ... 'cause he should've nailed down his relationship status before the show.

We got Wayne outside K Bakery in Pacific Palisades Wednesday, and he swore the brutal-to-watch diss -- which has gone viral -- was painfully real. If ya missed it ... contestants Steve and Jessie dressed in matching '70s prom outfits, prompting Wayne to ask how long they'd been together.

It all went downhill from there.

Wayne says he feels bad for Steve, but it's clear the guy missed some important social cues.

Yes, this is REAL!!!!!

UFC superstar Paige VanZant was giving a rear naked choke demonstration to U.S. troops during a USO event with Max Holloway ... when she actually CHOKED OUT THE DUDE UNCONSCIOUS!!!

VanZant had selected a volunteer who agreed to let Paige apply the choke in front of a crowd of very excited soldiers.

But, just a few seconds after she began to squeeze, the soldier's lights went out -- and when Paige released the hold, he collapsed to the floor.

Danielle Bregoli called David Spade an "ugly ass" to his face and David fired right back at her ... all part of her new music video for her hit song, "Gucci Flip Flops."

Danielle -- aka Bhad Bhabie -- just dropped the vid featuring Lil Yachty, and Spade as the milk man. Danielle's taken shots at Iggy Azalea in one of her tracks, and went surgical on a faux Kylie Jenner for her "These Heaux" vid ... but this is the first time she's scored a big-time celeb to cameo with her.

Spade and Bhabie have some history. If you forgot, back in May 2017, David posed with Danielle for a pic and posted this caption on IG:

Danielle clapped back saying she thought David was the waiter. That was actually pretty hilarious.

Anyway, it's all water under the bridge. We're told Danielle kept in touch with David via social media and reached out to him for the role in her music video.

Tiffany Haddish got a massive bouquet from none other than Oprah ... which is great news for her, and the worst possible news for TMZ.

Tiff was feeling the love as she showed off the beautiful flowers her "Auntie Oprah" sent. They really are quite lovely. Unfortunately, she put O's arrangement on a table riiiiight next to the single red rose she received from one of our camera guys over the weekend ... and proceeded to hilariously floral-shame the hell out of us.

If ya missed it ... our guy delivered the lonely rose while apologizing to Tiffany for not helping her and her friends load their luggage a week ago at LAX.

Tiffany Haddish forgives TMZ ... we think.

Our photog caught Tiffany and her crew Sunday coming out of LAX, where he tried apologizing with a rose for not helping them load their luggage last weekend.

As you'll recall ... Tiffany railed on TMZ because our guy didn't offer a helping hand ... and Tiffany took that as a slight and lack of chivalry.

Now, it all seems to be water under a bridge. While there might've been confusion as to what exactly happened -- Tiffany ultimately accepted our cameraman's gesture.

She went on to post her own view of the interaction, and a caption that we'd like to think is a message of love. Happy to talk (and help) anytime, Tiff!

Takeru Kobayashi -- one of the greatest eaters in the history of man -- can chug.

He's already dominated everything from wieners to cow brains to soba noodles, but when we saw the human garbage disposal in NYC this week, our guy wanted to test his liquid skills!

Chug-off.

Right there. On the spot. In front of everyone.

Warning: Careful with the drinking contests at home. Overhydration can be seriously dangerous. Look it up.

Dan Aykroyd's suddenly fired up to get the band back together, and this time his 'Blues Brothers' reboot could have 2 of the hottest women in hip-hop and comedy ... if Dan and our camera guy get their way.

We got Elwood Blues leaving e. baldi restaurant in Bev Hills, and asked him about his rumored "Soul Sisters" project. He excitedly told us he's making serious progress, and then our guy dropped the casting gem on him.

Cardi B and Tiffany Haddish! You gotta see Dan's reaction -- he's down with it. In fact, he even made our photog an offer he probably shouldn't refuse.

Rep. Joe Kennedy III put new meaning into dirty politics when he had to go digging for his phone through a fast food restaurant's trash can.

People who were there tell us JK3 had finished eating an early dinner Wednesday at Santa Rosa Taqueria on Capitol Hill and accidentally threw out his tray of food with his phone on it.

Joe was alone, so he took off his suit jacket, rolled up his sleeves and got to work. Problem is ... the phone's heavy and went to the bottom of the bin, so Joe was diggin' for a good 10 minutes, according to restaurant-goers who were more into watching and taking pictures than helping out. Can't blame them for not wanting to get covered in leftover taco meat and guacamole.

Joe, who delivered this year's Democratic response to the State of the Union, eventually got his phone out and cleaned up in the bathroom.

Heidi Klum can't pass up a good beat when she hears one -- even if it's in the middle of a shopping trip ... girl's just gotta dance.

We got Heidi Tuesday night walking up Melrose Ave. in WeHo, where she stumbled across a Dundas pop-up store -- which was bumpin' some tunes that she clearly dug.

The German model got her groove on with the Norwegian designer, Peter Dundas, himself. Maybe it's a Euro thing, 'cause he didn't miss a step as soon as she stepped into his space.

Pretty hot scene ... in the middle of a clothing store.