Paparazzi Video

File this under: Things you NEVER say to your fiancee.

Kris Humphries was lumbering around L.A. yesterday when he was asked -- IN FRONT OF Kim Kardashian -- if he was with "the most beautiful girl in world" ... and HE SAID, gasp, NO!

Just 2 days after he was released from the hospital following a disastrous boogie boarding accident -- Christopher Schwarzenegger walked around L.A. with a big smile on his face ... claiming he's doing "excellent!"

As we previously reported, Chappelle was performing at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Florida on Friday night ... when things got so bad, he began texting in the middle of his show.

But the next day, he apologized for what he called a "wild night" -- and gave a "big shout out to the Seminoles."

Knight was doing a photoshoot near L.A. earlier today when he explained, "We just need some perspective ... that's all it is."

Sheen took the stage around 8:37 PM ET to a semi-standing ovation. The crowd was mostly on his side ... but booed him when he said he quit drugs. Security tossed out a few hecklers early on.

Charlie invited "Two and a Half Men" creator Chuck Lorre to join him on stage at Radio City for Sunday night's show to "work this s**t out. Of course I want my job back man!"

Our sources connected to "Men" tell us producers will never let Sheen back on the show. Sorry, Charlie.

Sheen told barely coherent stories about the different hotels he stayed in, his incident at the plaza, locking himself in an airplane bathroom with a seven-gram cocaine rock, and how he once performed CPR on a model in a heroin coma. Who hasn't?

But by the end, Charlie had lost the crowd. The show ended abruptly -- roughly 30 minutes shorter than Sheen's shows in Ohio -- to a mix of boos and cheers ... but the boos carried the night.

Charlie's closer -- "I love you New York ... you're the best crowd ever. Well, some of you."

On his way out, Charlie was met by several fans and autograph seekers, but he seemed focused on just getting out of there.

Jolie was playing the part of goodwill ambassador for the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees when some people in the crowd got physical with each other.

Sources behind the scenes at the Grammys tell TMZ ... the woman in the box was spotted backstage right around the time Gaga had finished rehearsing for her performance. And the gang of staffers surrounding the coffin suggests that the person inside was kind of a big deal.

Hours after the video was shot, Gaga famously arrived to the awards inside of a crazy alien egg thing.

Sheen was at an office building in Calabasas, CA -- when the photog asked, "How ya been man?" Charlie kissed the babe ... and then responded, "Winning."

After taking some photos with fans, Charlie locked hands with the mystery lady and walked her to his $300,000 Maybach ... before the two drove off.

The PDA went down just hours before Charlie appeared on TMZ Live ... where he revealed he's got TWO "goddesses" in his life ... though we've yet to see what lucky lady #2 looks like.

The other driver involved in the accident claims he was severely injured in the wreck -- and eventually needed surgery to fix his neck, back and shoulder.

According to the lawsuit filed in L.A. County Superior Court by attorney Michael Marzban -- the other driver is suing for unspecified damages ... including wage loss and medical expenses.

As we previously reported, Grammer is all set to marry Camille's 29-year-old replacement, Kayte Walsh, by the end of the month.

Blake was supposed to sign autographs at something called The Hollywood Show at the Burbank Airport Marriott Hotel & Convention Center over the weekend. Kevin Martin, co-owner of The Hollywood Show, tells us Blake was "being a diva" yesterday and complaining the line at his table was too short. Blake eventually left early.

Martin says Blake then showed up several hours late today and told the organizers of the event to make an announcement saying he would sign autographs for free. Martin says Robert became unruly yet again and was asked to leave. Martin says security escorted him out of the hotel.

But then, according to Martin, Blake began signing autographs for fans in the parking lot, which didn't sit well with the organizers -- so they had security order him off the property.

No one was murdered.

Mayer was spotted out at a martini bar in Hollywood and then later on at the Chateau Marmont. Mayer traveled with his pack of pals all night, until it came time to leave the Chateau ... and one of the girls got left on the curb.

The two reconnected last night in NYC after Jennifer's off-Broadway play, "Gruesome Playground Injuries."

Perla -- who touched down at LAX yesterday -- took a pretty cheap shot at Slopes' weight before calling the entire situation "retarded."