Weird News

First Tom Cruise, now Kanye West is comparing his profession to BEING AT WAR ... saying just like soldiers and cops, HE PUTS HIS LIFE ON THE LINE when he goes to work.

Yeezus made the statements to Saturday Night Online this weekend, saying rapping is very dangerous work -- "This is like being a police officer or something ... or like war or something."

"You're literally going out to do your job every day knowing that something could happen to you."

But Kanye says it's not JUST the physical risks (he says he could slip on the stage) ... KW also risks getting his feelings hurt -- because people could watch a show and decide they don't like him.

Yeah, just like a cop or a soldier.

Justin Bieber is whining about being Justin Bieber ... and even though he's been doing everything he can to be seen as a grown-up, he now claims he's just a misunderstood "19-year-old-boy."

JB was on the radio with Ryan Seacrest this morning to plug his new documentary, "Justin Bieber's Believe" ... which he claims will show how difficult it's been for him to go from teen star to manhood in the public spotlight.

That's odd, talking about becoming a man ... while complaining he's just a boy? Can't have it both ways, Biebs.

Some deranged creep tried to make a quick buck off Paul Walker's death by selling pieces of burned bark he claims he took from the tree Paul crashed into ... TMZ has learned.

The seller says he took 6 pieces of charred tree (pictured below) from the crash site and put them on eBay -- asking for at least $100 per item.

But we've learned ... the seller had a change of heart (which might have had something to do with the hate mail he got) and he decided to to pull the auction for good.

I saw Miley Cyrus twerking on Santa Claus ... underneath his big red crotch last night.
She didn't seem too creepy ... until she grabbed a little teat.
Then she, began to wave her tongue and shake her ass on sexy reindeer treats.

And what a laugh it would have been, if Billy Ray walked in ...
And saw Miley twerking Santa Claus last night.

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "burger joint" -- TMZ has learned, a Wendy's employee was arrested last month in Georgia ... after allegedly making a cheeseburger with one crazy off-the-menu ingredient ... marijuana.

According to the Lovejoy Police Department, 32-year-old Amy Seiber was busted during her shift on November 1 ... after a customer called 911, complaining she had found a half-smoked blunt in her cheeseburger.

The customer met with police at the Wendy's location where she ordered the burger, and cops claim Seiber immediately admitted the blunt was hers.

According to police, Seiber said she had been smoking pot on the job and conveniently "misplaced" the blunt inside the customer's burger ... right on top of the pickle.

The blunt was taken as evidence and Seiber was arrested for possession of marijuana ... oh yeah, she was also promptly fired.

We spoke to the lucky customer, who tells us she experienced food poisoning-type symptoms after the incident and had to be hospitalized.

So far, she says Wendy's has offered to help pay for her medical bills ... and has even generously thrown in a $50 gift certificate. Like she'll ever eat at Wendy's ever again.

A rep for Wendy's tells TMZ, "Obviously the employee broke the rules and did not follow proper food handling steps ... We are deeply sorry that this incident occurred.” The rep says the franchisee is working out a favorable solution with the customer, including paying her medical bills.

There's a reason Bruce Jenner threw on some blue lipstick ... his favorite Kris Jenner wig ... and shaped his eyebrows perfectly -- the guy just got a NEW MOVIE ROLE, TMZ has learned.

Jenner scored himself a part in the upcoming flick, "The Hungover Games" ... which spoofs "The Hunger Games" and "The Hangover" ... along with other films like "Ted" and "Django."

As for Bruce's role -- he plays one of the weird futuristic "Hunger Games" play-by-play announcer guys ... alongside former NFL star Hank Baskett. No word when the film will be released.

It's not Bruce's first acting gig -- he's been in all sorts of stuff including, "CHiPs," "Murder She Wrote" and "Can't Stop the Music." Memba the crop top????

Justin Bieber picked the wrong city to spray tag, 'cause the mayor of Gold Coast, Australia just issued an ultimatum to the "pop princess" -- clean up your mess ... OR SING FOR ME!!!!!

Mayor Tom Tate just issued a video message to Bieber after the singer went graffiti crazy all over a hotel wall during a visit to the city last week.

"I've got a message for pop princess Justin Beaver," Tate said ... "We love your music but we hate your graffiti and your vandalism here in our city."

He continued ... "Mate, you've got two choices -- come back and clean up your mess or come back and sing at the [Mayor's Christmas Carols event] on the 7th of December."

It's unclear what will happen if Bieber ignores both requests ... but here's our advice for Mayor Tate: Don't hold your breath.

Kelly Rutherford's custody battle with her ex-husband is so hateful … they're now under a court order to speak politely to each other, and get this -- in certain situations they're legally required to follow a SCRIPT!

The custody orders -- obtained by TMZ -- spell out precisely what Rutherford and her ex, Daniel Giersch, can and can't say … and how to behave around their 2 young children.

The docs order them to "exchange polite and friendly greetings." And Giersch, who's German, has to speak in English whenever they meet for the hand off. -- so he can't trash her in a foreign language without her knowledge.

If a kid doesn't want to leave one parent ... there's a drill for that, too ... the adults must follow a script that's actually included in the court order:

"Have a great time with [other parent]. I'll talk to you tomorrow," and will say to the other parent, "[Name], please come and help me."

Libraries might be outdated with their ridiculous books made of paper ... but they still make great masturbation stations for the homeless ... this according to rapper Fabolous.

Fab was boarding a flight at LAX this week ... so we obviously had to ask his opinion on America's struggling libraries ... and the rapper made a solid argument for their place in the digital age.

Sure, real books are useless now ... but if we tear down the libraries, Fab says "where else are the homeless gonna get to j**k off at, man?"

Justin Bieber didn't let his Canadianness get in the way of a bad ass tattoo ... 'cause the singer just got a symbol of American pride inked on his body.

Bieb got the ink job done after a concert last night in Sydney, Australia ... opting for an eagle tattoo on his left shoulder.

The singer posted photos of the session -- and we're no ornithologists, but best we can tell ... it's a bald eagle.

Sharon Osbourne runs a tight ship when it comes to her lady parts -- and is proudly admitting getting "excruciating" plastic surgery on her vagina ... all for Ozzy Osbourne.

Sharon copped to all sorts of cosmetic procedures in the past, but on the BBC's "Graham Norton Show" this week she revealed her crotch chop was by far the most the most painful one.

As for the results -- you gotta hear Sharon's explanation as to why it was all worth it ... at least for Ozzy.

Designer vaginas -- by vaginaplasty and labiaplasty -- have become all the rage ... and not just in Beverly Hills.

As we first reported ... Anthony Wiener's sexting buddy Sydney Leathers got snipped and plans to auction off her spare labia bits.

David Beckham claims he was the victim of a bizarre hazing ritual as a young professional soccer player ... in which he had to touch himself sexually in front of his male teammates.

It happened in 1991 -- when Beckham was just 16 -- and he says he had to stare at a photo of a famous Welsh soccer player named Clayton Blackmore and (more or less) masturbate in front of his teammates.

He said, "Everyone had an initiation that you had to go through on the youth team, that was one of the most uncomfortable ones."

He added, "I was embarrassed when I was saying it on camera let alone talking about it more. But it’s something that we all had to go through. It was definitely something I wouldn’t like to go through again!"

Here's something crazy -- the Australian hotel Justin Bieber tagged up this week has ZERO plans to scrub off his crappy artwork from its walls ... in fact, a rep tells TMZ, they're stoked the Biebs left his mark.

We posted the video Wednesday, showing Bieber spray-painting hideous multi-colored monsters onto a wall at the Brisbane hotel where he was staying.

You'd think the hotel would be pissed, but it's not -- the rep for the QT Gold Coast hotel tells us, "It was a coup for the hotel to have Justin want to paint a piece of art in appreciation of his stay."

The rep adds, "This piece of art is now available to be viewed by fans of the artist and we believe that it is a wonderful addition to the colourful Gold Coast arts scene."

Steve Aoki -- EDM DJ/serial cake tosser -- is at it again ... pelting one of his fans straight in the face with a cake at point blank range ... and TMZ has the footage.

Aoki had just finished making an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" ... when he decided to take a break from signing autographs to whack an adoring fan in the face with a large cake.

The last time we caught Steve caking he connected on an 80 ft. heave that splattered all over a kid in a wheelchair. This latest stunt proves he's equally accurate at short range.

Check out the video ... Steve really, really loves to dish out a good caking.

Joanna Krupa is firing back at Brandi Glanville -- claiming her lady junk does NOT smell funky ... and she's trotted out two character witnesses to vouch for the pouch.

Krupa was leaving Mr. Chow in Bev Hills last night when we asked about her stinky feud with her "Real Housewives" rival -- which escalated earlier this month when Brandi began to compare Krupa's nether regions to a sea creature.

But Krupa didn't only defend her lady scent, she went right back after Brandi's crotch -- telling TMZ, "I understand she's bitter because her hot husband left her ... maybe hers smells and that's why he left her."

R. Kelly got straight up out-crazied by Lady Gaga at the AMAs Sunday night -- and after the show, he was man (and drunk) enough to admit it to TMZ.

The R&B legend was admittedly sauced before he even got to the Bootsy Bellows after-party ... and when we asked for his reaction to Gaga arriving to the show on a giant horse puppet ... all he could say was "why the f*ck didn't I think of that!?!"

It's pretty funny.

Kelly also told us he thinks Gaga is one of the GREAT performers of our time ... but where does she stack up compared to him??? Watch the clip -- he's boozy ... but he's honest.