You Might Want to Rethink

Joan Rivers is scoffing at the 2 women who were held hostage in a Cleveland, Ohio basement ... telling TMZ they shouldn't complain -- "They got to live rent free for more than a decade."

The women are pissed at Joan's comments on the "Today" show this week ... when she talked about her daughter's guest room, saying "Those women in the basement in Cleveland had more space."

The women -- Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus -- came out swinging, saying they were shocked and disappointed at the "hurtful" comment.

Joan tells us she WON'T apologize, telling them to lighten up, adding, "One of them has a book deal. Neither are in a psych ward. They're ok. I bet you within 3 years one of them will be on Dancing with the Stars."

HOW DELIGHTFUL!

Looking like the uncoolest person on the planet, Prince William did his best poor person impression Wednesday, hitting the "decks" for some "spinning" in Australia ... and Kate Middleton was obviously his only biggest fan.

Big Will and Kate are currently on a tour of New Zealand and Australia, and today's stop was the Northern Sound System in Adelaide, where William got some DJ lessons.

After dropping some "fat beats," William then pulled a Bieber, hitting up a nearby skate park for some "tagging." Or whatever the kids call it.

Kim Kardashian cannot get enough of herself ... hitting up a newsstand on Tuesday to buy up every issue of her Vogue magazine cover she could get her mitts on ... but why did she wait three weeks after the magazine hit shelves?

The video might answer the question ... as she and Kendall Jenner go rifling through the magazine racks, a camera crew (most likely from her reality show) is tracking their every move.

Someone needs to remind Roseanne Barr her ass is 61 years old ... 'cause last night she was shaking it like it belonged to Miley Cyrus.

The new slimmed down Roseanne jumped on stage at the Comedy Store on Sunset with comedian Red Grant -- and when the DJ dropped "30 Deep" by Chevy Woods ... RB got real loose.

By the way, some of the lyrics she's freaking to:

Jokers to the left and the right
See all my n*****
Same n***** that I started with
All my n*****

Widespread panic in the rap world -- the high-end cough syrup that's become the lean of choice for Justin Bieber, Soulja Boy, and MANY other rap figures has officially been taken off the market ... all because of its reputation as a widely abused drug.

A rep for Actavis -- famous for the highly-refined cough syrup -- tells TMZ, "Given [recent media attention], Actavis has made the bold and unprecedented decision to cease all production and sales of its Promethazine Codeine product."

As we reported, Bieber loves the stuff ... as does Soulja Boy, who regularly posts pictures of Actavis bottles on his Instagram.

The Actavis rep adds, "This attention has glamorized the unlawful and dangerous use of the product, which is contrary to its approved indication."

Before Actavis pulled the plug on the product, the street value of a pint bottle hovered around $800 -- but sources familiar with the market tell TMZ, rappers are now offering insane sums to buy up whatever's left. We're told one prominent rapper has already offered his dealer up to $100,000 to get whatever he can.

Hilariously, being the dumbass he is, Soulja Boy posted a photo of SIX bottles on Monday referencing the Actavis shortage -- "Soulja got the juice. They say the streets dry. I say you gotta be kiddin me. I serve everybody."

News flash to Soulja -- As far as Actavis is concerned, its game's over.

Katy Perry left children in tears at a recent birthday party where she dressed up like a clown, attacked some guy with a piñata stick, and staged a scary car accident ... all for a music video -- and TMZ has video from the scene.

The hidden camera gag was shot at Knollwood Country Club outside L.A. earlier this month for Katy's "Birthday" video -- Katy showed a little preview on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" Monday night ... but her clip didn't include the crazy fallout.

Eye witnesses tell TMZ, Katy pranked a REAL 5-year-old's birthday party ... and most guests had no idea they were getting punk'd. Children were crying. One woman stormed away, visibly upset.

Check out the video ... at one point a little girl says, "Mommy, I want to leave."

We know the feeling, kid.

Justin Bieber has once again managed to offend people via social media ... this time posting a photo of himself visiting a controversial Japanese war shrine ... mistaking it for a place of prayer.

Bieber posted (and then quickly deleted) the photo of himself and a friend standing in front of the Yasukuni Shrine, with the caption "Thank you for your blessings."

Bieber removed the photo and tried to explain the snafu later, saying, "While in Japan I asked my driver to pull over for which I saw a beautiful shrine. I was mislead to think the Shrines were only a place of prayer. To anyone I have offended I am extremely sorry. I love you China and I love you Japan."

The Yasukuni Shrine honors those Japanese who died during war ... including several imperial army who committed heinous war crimes. The shrine is a sensitive topic, particualry to the people in China and South Korea.

It was just a year ago Bieber made waves after visiting the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam and signing the guest book, "Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."

So riddle us this ... if it looks like Steven Spielberg, tokes like Steven Spielberg, and claims to BE Steven Spielberg puffin' away at the Cannabis Cup on 4/20 ... is it Steven Spielberg?

The annual celebration took place in Colorado and the guy who shot the video says Stoneyberg told everyone he WAS the famous director -- so potheads were hooking him up with free dabs.

And then there's this tidbit ... Spielberg's wife Kate Capshaw was at Coachella.

Sadly ... no midlife here. A rep tells us it's not S.S.

Wu-Tang affiliated rapper Andre Johnson is just plain Andre now ... because doctors weren't able to reattach his penis.

TMZ broke the story Johnson -- aka Christ Bearer -- cut his penis off Wednesday morning and then jumped off his 2nd floor North Hollywood apartment balcony. He was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center but we're told the penis was a lost cause.

Johnson/Christ Bearer is a member of the group Northstar, which was founded by Wu-Tang Clan member RZA. We're told RZA hasn't done work with the group for several years.

Johnson/Christ Bearer is remarkably in stable condition.

As we reported ... several rappers were present during the horrific scene. They say they were not doing any drugs that would cause such a thing. They believe Johnson/Christ Bearer may have mental issues.

Justin Bieber is sampling Kanye West -- not in music, but his contempt for photogs -- breaking out a stripped-down version of Yeezy's infamous "don't talk" rant.

Kanye unleashed the egomaniacal warning last July ... scolding our camera guy for having the gall to say he was a huge fan.

Bieber broke out his soft-spoken version on Wednesday at The Grove, telling our photog, "You can film me ... just don't talk."

Callahan, the crime fighting llama, needs to find a new watering hole -- because a public health investigation just got his ass banned from a popular Hollywood nightclub.

TMZ broke the story -- Como T. Llama, the camelid star of the show "Llama Cop," dropped by nightclub Bootsy Bellows recently for a premiere party, enraging the Los Angeles Department of Health.

The inspector tells us, he officially admonished the club -- which admitted allowing Como inside for the private party -- and reminded management that ZERO live animals, other than service animals, are allowed inside.

The club assured the health department it was an isolated incident -- and according to the inspector, vowed never to let it happen again.

We're told the club can only be cited if the inspector witnesses the incident first hand -- so Bootsy got off with a verbal warning this time, but it's now on the health department's radar.

Ice Cube is setting the record straight ... saying he was not taking a huge shot at Paul Walker when he griped about losing to him at the MTV Movie Awards -- and claims his words were misinterpreted.

Cube raised eyebrows when, according to USA Today, he said ... "We was robbed" in the Best Onscreen Duo category. He and Kevin Hart's "Ride Along" lost to Paul Walker and Vin Diesel's "Fast & Furious 6."

He added, "We had the best chemistry of everybody nominated, for us not to win was crazy."

Sounds like Cube was getting some heat ... because he's now saying, "I wasn't really mad we didn't win. So I would never diss the actors who won. Not even Paul Walker."

Ice Cube also tweeted, "Ice Cube is not a sore loser. I was born losing. This winning s*** is what I gotta get use to."

Sources close to the actor/rapper tell us he had a joking tone during the USA Today interview ... and was just busting on award shows since he doesn't take them seriously.

We feel you on that, Cube.

Elvis Presley loved guns, but he wasn't in the business of selling them -- so claims the King's estate, and now it's suing a famous firearm manufacturer for using Elvis's image in a giant ad campaign.

Elvis Presley Enterprises filed the suit against Beretta, claiming the gun co. hijacked Elvis's face and good name to hawk its new model 692 shotgun. Elvis impersonators even made an appearance at the Beretta booth at the 2013 SHOT show in Vegas.

According to the lawsuit, while Elvis was an outspoken gun enthusiast, neither he nor his estate ever gave Beretta permission to use his image in ad campaigns.

EPE is suing for damages. It also wants Beretta to stop using Elvis's image from here out.

Beretta had no comment.

67-year-old Cher is still super proud of her boobs ... and proved it by sportin' a pair of nipple pasties this week at a concert in Boston.

Cher -- who also rocked a pink wig, pink lip gloss at her Dressed to Kill tour -- seemed extra perky that night ... and also broke out her old low-plunging black onsie from her "If I Could Turn Back Time" video.

As for the nipple pasties ... one question -- doesn't it hurt to take those things off??

Ne-Yo thinks Chris Brown is being treated unfairly by the justice system because he's a celebrity. Ne-Yo is wrong, but that's what he thinks.

Our photog caught up with the R&B superstar yesterday after leaving the gym, where he voiced his clear support for CB ... saying the system "likes to make an example out of celebrities."

Let's not mince words here ... Chris Brown beat Rihanna to a pulp and got five years probation for it ... meaning he had to behave himself. But since then he's gotten in numerous brawls (one with Drake, another with Frank Ocean) before getting arrested for assault last year. He's tried going to rehab twice (once by court order) but was kicked out both times.

Justin Bieber is making a habit of making it look like he owns cool stuff, when he really doesn't -- this time he tried to pass off a super famous yacht as his own ... when everyone knows it's not his.

As TMZ first reported, Bieber posted a photo of himself in a Bugatti that he referred to as "my first Bugatti" ... but it was just a loaner from Birdman.

Then on Wednesday, Bieber posted a pic on board a yacht called "Never Say Never" -- which just happens to be the name of his concert film. But TMZ has learned Bieber does NOT own the boat ... not even close. The boat is registered to a family trust based in Coral Cables, FL.

Here's why Justin is particularly stupid for trying to lay claim to the yacht -- it's the same boat Lonely Island used for their LEGENDARY video, "I'm on a Boat."

If you want to make it in the rap game, Justin ... might want to start getting your own stuff instead of borrowing other people's.