Beauty

Bad news for chubby chasers ... fat Jessica Simpson has been replaced ... with a hotter, skinnier version.

The 33-year-old mom strolled though JFK this week like it was 2005 all over again ... sporting a pair of tight leather pants that would even make Nick Lachey's head spin.

Despite her appearance, Jessica recently said she's currently 15 POUNDS HEAVIER than she was back in 2009 ... when she rocked the infamous mom jeans on stage at a concert.

Sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Jack Nicholson upped the ante on duck-lip selfies by shooting his own ... of course he did it from $2500 COURTSIDE Lakers seats! Take that 25-year-old chicks.

76-year-old Jack struck the tired-ass pose with a cute blonde fan last night at Staples Center.

This was probably the closest he came to smiling last night since the Kobe Bryant-less Lakers got crushed by the Indiana Pacers 104-92.

Our best guess on Jack's thoughts during the game ... "This town team needs an enema!"

CeeLo knows ... nothing gets a party started like half-naked women jumping up and down -- which is why the guy booked 3 hot chicks to work a trampoline at his Grammy shindig last night.

TMZ has footage from inside CeeLo's bash at Lot 613 in L.A. ... and it looked AWESOME -- with food trucks and a mobile barber shop ... and oh yeah, HOT CHICKS ON TRAMPOLINES!

CeeLo couldn't have been cooler -- and kicked it with our camera guy while he was gettin' shaved up for the party.

Gotta stay fresh.

Justin Bieber will never get a sweet deal with Proactiv again if he keeps screwing up ... but even if Justin turns into a choir boy, he's gotta 86 those pimples.

It's hard to miss the zits on Bieber's face in the now famous mug ... pretty ironic, considering Bieber was a spokesperson for Proactiv in 2012.

Proactiv co-creator Dr. Kathy Fields tells us, she's seen the mugshot and it's clear Justin's stress is causing him to break out ... so they're gonna send him some Proactiv+ and X-Out to help get him back on track.

As for him getting a full-on spokesman deal again ... Fields says they look for people who are in "the right state to help others and right now Justin needs to get himself healthy."

The Seattle Seahawks have one HUGE advantage over the Broncos in the Super Bowl ... their cheerleaders' asses are wayyy bigger -- this according to bona fide booty-expert Sir Mix-A-Lot.

The "Baby Got Back" singer tells TMZ Sports ... there is no competition between the teams when it comes to butt-size, saying simply "Seattle cheerleaders got the best asses."

Mix -- who's from Seattle -- is a diehard Seahawks fan ... but his views on the cheerleaders aren't totally biased ... 'cause the rapper admits the "Denver cheerleaders have the best t**ties."

Wearing an unfinished dress by the Michelin tire company, Paris Hilton hit up an event in Hollywood last night ... and modeled her svelte groin area for a crowd of strangers.

42-year-old mother of four and cancer survivor Brooke Burke-Charvet knows how to live life to the fullest ... and tightest ... flaunting her ridiculously toned body at a gas station in Malibu today.

Just to recap: this "Dancing with the Stars" badass is 42, she has 4 kids (3 daughters and 1 son) and recently beat thyroid cancer following a scary diagnosis in 2012. And she can still look this good.

FYI, Brooke is currently married to former "Baywatch" star David Charvet.

Gotta love California.

Freedom isn't the only thing Jason Trawick gained after breaking up with Britney Spears -- and he's not tripping one bit ... proudly showing off his new gut during a weekend pizza run in Hollywood.

Oh yeah, he got Popeye's too.

Spears and Trawick -- her former agent -- famously started dating in 2010 and were engaged the following year. Barely a year after that, they were single again.

What a waist.

As for the pizza ... our own Gary says, "All fat guys know ... you never eat the pizza out of the box right outside the store. C'mon man."

4:28 PM PT -- Jason just responded on Twitter with a big belly photo, writing, "Thanks @tmz I needed this. Started my diet/workout program today. C u in a month!"

You're welcome ... but a month's pretty ambitious.

Forget supermodel butt washer ... there's a new best job in the world ... SUPERMODEL BOOB HOLDER.

And just in time too -- Maryna Linchuk nearly suffered a wardrobe emergency on the beach over the weekend in St. Barts ... stripping out of her bikini and into another outfit ... and her loyal boob-covering attendant jumped to the rescue. No nip slips here! Unfortunately.

Brad Pitt's enlisted a military style haircut, but it's not just for a movie role -- BP now says there's another, more vain, reason for the new 'do.

Pitt cruised into LAX on Sunday looking like he was heading to basic training -- sporting a high and tight fade ... telling paps, "It's fashion, baby."

Truth is Brad's also shooting a World War 2 drama called "Fury" -- but does it really matter?

"Sleepy Hollow" star Nicole Beharie is begging for a lawsuit ... so says her stylist, who tells TMZ, she's on the brink of taking the actress to court after Beharie stiffed her on a HUGE styling bill.

Sharone Blades tells us ... Beharie hired her to style the actress for a Television Critics Association event Monday ... and agreed to pay $5,000.

Sharone says she did a bang-up job and Nicole loved her dress ... but has only forked over $2,000. Sharone says she confronted Nicole ... who countered by saying she didn't like the dress after all.

WWE Diva Brie Bella's bachelorette party wasn't filled with muscular dudes thrusting their junk in her face ... it was packed with a bunch of hairy chicks instead.

Brie and her sister Nikki Bella celebrated Saturday night at Prep Kitchen in San Diego ... and judging by the photos, some of the bridal party enjoyed the fake beards a little too much -- we're looking at you four-eyes.

Brie's wedding to WWE Superstar Daniel Bryan -- who also has a giant beard -- is expected to be filmed for the second season of their reality show, "Total Divas."

Cate Blanchett's face has a curious case of the "Benjamin Button."

Here's the the 29-year-old "Elizabeth" actress at a premiere back in 1998 (left) -- and 16 years later, the flawless 44-year-old "Lord of the Rings" face at a Beverly Hills hotel last week (right).

Rihanna blew her top again yesterday -- and this time, the singer stripped down to just her bikini bottoms on the beach in Brazil ... in front of lots and lots of people.

Rihanna wasn't just getting naked for fun though -- not like she's opposed to it -- she was posing in a fashion shoot for Vogue magazine, which apparently continues to do God's work. Keep it up, folks.

Gotta love Brazil ... or as we like to call it, NO BRA-zil.