Hook Ups

This video is HILARIOUS -- a pretty hammered Brooklyn Nets player getting smothered by a hot chick with a big ass in the middle of the day -- and he wants NONE OF IT!!!!!

The NBA player is Andray Blatche -- who hit up Crustacean in Beverly Hills with a girl named Sandrina Smith ... and it's clear, they had been indulging in a few cocktails. Ok, a LOT of cocktails.

But the best part of the clip ... when Sandrina grabbed him around the waist and tried to get him to admit they have some sort of relationship -- Blatche bobs and weaves like a young Cassius Clay!!

You just gotta watch the video -- if they are together, he might be sleepin' on the couch tonight!

The girl whose ass Robin Thicke grabbed after the VMAs last year hasn't given up hope on a relationship -- she tells TMZ, she still wants to go out on a date with the singer ... especially now that he's separated from his wife.

As we reported, Robin and his wife Paula Patton announced they were separating today after 9 years of marriage.

It's unclear if the infamous ass grab photo is partly to blame for the split -- but 20-year-old blonde butt-grabbee Lana Scolaro is grateful for the chance to get back in there.

She says she regrets making out with him, but tells us, "I'd love to grab a drink with him if he asked."

Katy Perry may have famously kissed a girl and liked it ... but Saturday night in L.A. the singer straight up denied Miley Cyrus when she tried slipping Katy the tongue.

Miley's "Bangerz" tour rolled through the Staples Center last night and Katy was front row ... and when Cyrus spotted her she crawled off stage to go in for a smooch.

The look on Miley's face after being shut down is classic.

U.S. Olympic snowboarder Jamie Anderson says she's officially ditching her Tinder account ... telling TMZ Sports she's way too good-looking to be hunting for dudes through an app.

Anderson -- who won gold in Sochi -- famously told the media she used Tinder to meet other sexy athletes in Olympic Village ... but now, Jamie says she's having a serious change of heart.

"I don't need it," Jamie says ... telling us the app didn't ever lead her to a quality hookup during her stint in Russia.

So, what's Jamie's plan now?

There's always Jdate ... ChristianMingle ... BlackPeopleMeet ... FarmersOnly ...

Richie Incognito was lady-killin' in Hollywood last night ... with 5 GIRLS getting into his car outside of a Sunset Strip nightclub ... and TMZ Sports has the footage.

Incognito was partying at 1OAK last night ... where we asked him if he had any advice for another NFL star in crisis, Ray Rice.

But Richie was more focused on another situation -- the 5 ladies from Wisconsin who were clearly interested in spending some private time with the embattled football star.

The girls all piled into his waiting ride ... but got out after only a few minutes. They hinted they were gonna meet up with Richie later in the evening.

But the best part ... when we asked the girls if Richie could be considered a good role model -- one of the ladies shot back -- "NO!! Because we are 18-years-old!"

Ha.

Justin Bieber can toot it, boot it, then toot it again -- TMZ has learned, he's back getting it on with a Vegas Hooters waitress he hooked up with last summer ... after dumping her for several other girls in between.

22-year-old Jordan Ozuna posted this photo on Instagram February 16th from inside the spaceship mansion Bieber's currently renting in Atlanta. We won't say how we know, but we know.

Bieber and Jordan first hooked up in Vegas last June -- Jordan worked as a Hooters waitress at the time. They were photographed going indoor skydiving together ... and even kissing ... but we haven't seen much of her since ... until now.

And if the bed photo isn't convincing, here's a picture of Ozuna playing around at a Dave & Buster's in Atlanta the day before Valentine's Day -- the same day Bieber was also photographed at the same location.

It's unclear what happened to Bieber's Miami chick Chantel Jeffries, but she's been replaced ... at least for now.

Model Cara Delevingne was the big winner ... when Michelle Rodriguez emerged nearly naked from their limo in London. Well, honestly -- we're ALL winners on this one.

Just ask M-Rod and CD's limo driver.

No one had a better ride than Michelle Rodriguez last night -- just ask her pants ... which disappeared off her body while she was in the backseat of a limo with her new GF Cara Delevingne!

Here's what we know.

Fact: Michelle was wearing white pants when she and Cara hopped a ride back to their London hotel.

Fact: Michelle stepped out of the car cloaked in her bodyguard's jacket ... WITHOUT pants.

FUN FACT: CD stepped out of the car right after Michelle ... holding white pants.

Fact: These pictures tell an AWESOME story, and this is our new favorite celeb couple.

Jessica Simpson's dad Joe has found a young man to spend his time with ... and photograph ... shirtless ... in Miami.

The pics were taken Saturday in South Beach, showing 55-year-old Joe getting his tan on with a much younger man ... and then taking shirtless photos of the guy, sprawled out on the sand.

Joe divorced ex-wife Tina in April after 35 years of marriage.

Whatever ... looks like he's having fun.

Michelle Rodriguez and supermodel Cara Delevingne are acknowledging the obvious -- they're the hottest lesbian couple in the universe -- and to prove it they ate out last night.

Michelle and Cara were photographed leaving a London restaurant together, looking very coupley.

And to make it official -- before their date, Michelle told The Mirror they're an item, saying, "It's going really well. She's so cool. When we started hanging out, I just thought she was awesome, and we have the best time together."

35-year-old Michelle and 21-year-old Cara have been all over each other for 6 weeks now -- starting last month with a drunken makeout session courtside at a Knicks game -- so nothing fishy about this hookup.

Julianne caught some So. Cal. rays with Washington Capitals center Brooks Laich. With photogs in plain sight they clearly wanted to make a statement as they walked with her teeny tiny dogs.

It's not like Ryan Seacrest will be heartbroken. He's moved on with another hot chick, who apparently is cool that he sees other people as well. In other words, don't feel sorry for him.

Sorry, Adam Devine ... but you probably won't get to bang Rebel Wilson in "Pitch Perfect 2" -- the actress says her love interest in the sequel may actually be Drake.

Rebel dropped the casting spoiler while leaving a West Hollywood salon after our photog asked about Drake's Rolling Stone drama this week.

The 28-year-old actress was tight lipped on more "P.P." details ... but did say what she would have done with the popular magazine in Drake's shoes.

Christina Aguilera just gave her production assistant a huge promotion -- fiance.

Matt Rutler met Christina on the set of the 2010 film "Burlesque," where he worked as a P.A.

She was divorced and he was there ... and they hooked up. They're living together in her new, $10 million mansion.

Lots of people thought it wouldn't last, but now -- 3 years later -- she just posted a Facebook pic of an ENORMOUS ring with the caption, "He asked and I said ......"

As for who plunked down money for the ring ......

4:25 PM PT -- the baby's name is ERIC ... after Simon's father.

Simon Cowell is officially a father ... his pregnant GF Lauren Silverman has finally popped in NYC.

36-year-old Silverman just gave birth to a healthy baby boy at Lenox Hill Hospital -- after Simon flew across the ocean from London to be by her side for the delivery. As we reported, Lauren went into labor early this morning and Simon hopped on a plane as soon as he heard.

We're told the baby was born at 5:45 PM EST at 6 pounds, 7 ounces.

The boy is 54-year-old Simon's first child and Lauren's second -- she also has an 8-year-old son with her ex Andrew Silverman.

So far, no word on the baby's name.

Erin Andrews took a break from being yelled at by NFL superstars to remind you ... she's actually in pretty good shape.

Andrews and L.A. Kings star Jarret Stoll are on a little couples retreat at the moment -- and decided to spice things up with a stand-up paddle board session.

Not as exciting as getting screamed at by Richard Sherman ... but still, impressive.

Love sucks -- at least for supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, who stepped out in L.A. Thursday with what appears to be a GIANT HICKEY on her neck.

Alessandra was with her millionaire businessman fiance Jamie Mazur at the time, so it makes sense. Especially since today is Valentine's Day (sorry for the reminder).