Nurse!

Seems someone is going to be walking the plank ... because police in Australia have captured the guy who allegedly threatened a security guard with a knife after trying to sneak onto the set of the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.

The 22-year-old was charged Wednesday with one count of "going armed as to cause fear" ... he'll appear in court on March 27, presumably without his bird.

The guy was taken into custody with the parrot still on his shoulder. Way to stay committed to the bit, pal!

As for the actual movie ... shooting is being interrupted slightly after Johnny Depp mysteriously injured his hand (not during shooting) and flew back to the U.S. for surgery. The injury is not expected to affect the release date.

Cincinnati Reds prospect Tanner Jeremy Rahier went into a drunken rage after he was cut off at an Arizona bar ... and that's what led to him accidentally hitting his girlfriend with a rock ... this according to the 911 call.

TMZ Sports has obtained the call, made by an employee of the bar where the incident went down. In the 911 call, the employee explains that Rahier became enraged when he was cut off ... and that caused Rahier to throw rocks at the bar.

The 911 caller told police one of the rocks was meant for another a customer, but missed ... and instead hit Rahier's girlfriend in the face. The caller described Rahier as "obviously nuts."

Rahier was booked into jail on suspicion of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and assault with intent to injure. He told police he didn't know the woman and denied throwing the rocks.

Windell D. Middlebrooks -- the actor best known for playing the straight-talking Miller High Life delivery man -- died suddenly at his home ... TMZ has learned.

Sources close to Middlebrooks tell us he was found unconscious at home in the San Fernando Valley Monday morning -- and was transported by ambulance to a hospital ... where he was pronounced dead.

We're told it does not appear there was any foul play.

While he was best known for the Miller commercials ... Middlebrooks was also a very successful TV actor with roles on "Cougar Town," "Parks and Rec," "Scrubs," "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia," and the "Bernie Mac Show."

He was also a series regular on ABC's "Body Of Proof."

Middlebrooks was 36 years old.

A rep for MillerCoors tells us ... "He connected with people so naturally because he was one of the kindest, most genuine folks around. We will miss him a great deal and he will always hold a special place with us."

10:27 AM PT -- Swearinger just issued a statement saying ... "For the record.....my dog and clowney were just playing and it wasnt a serious bite."

"They were only playing....cool out on all that. #thanks."

Houston Texans star Jadeveon Clowney was HOSPITALIZED after the former #1 draft pick was reportedly bit in the arm by his teammate's pit bull.

According to police records obtained by SportsRadio 610, the dog -- owned by Texans safety D.J. Swearinger -- got Clowney in the right arm ... piercing the skin.

Clowney was taken to a nearby emergency room where he was treated -- and officials determined the dog had all of his shots.

The pit bull was ordered to be on home quarantine -- and we're told Swearinger agreed..

Mama June was rushed to a hospital Friday in Georgia after her temperature went through the roof ... and doctors said she has pneumonia.

Sources close to June tell TMZ ... she was having trouble getting out of bed Friday morning. Turns out she had a 103 fever, so a family member immediately drove her to the ER.

In addition to the pneumonia ... she also had extreme dehydration.

Mama June was at the hospital all day and eventually got some shots and meds ... then doctors sent her home, but told Honey Boo Boo's mom to stay in bed for a few days.

We're told Sugar Bear pitched in to watch the kids while June was getting treated ... and he's gonna hang around for a few days to help out while June is stuck in bed.

A concert for the rap group Migos turned violent Friday in New York ... with concertgoers throwing trash cans while fighting -- and SIX stabbings were reported.

Albany PD officials tell us the multiple stabbings -- and one robbery -- all went down at the Washington Avenue Armory during, and after, the concert.

We're told cops arrived on scene for a stabbing call around 12:50 AM ... and found two victims -- both were hospitalized. Minutes later ... victims 3 and 4 came into the ER.

Less than hour later, cops went to a home over a report of a stabbing ... and found victims 5 and 6. Plus, a girl claims she was beat up and robbed in the bathroom.

Local police and fire were dispatched en masse to the Harrison Ford crash scene Thursday afternoon and once they got to the scene, they deemed the legendary actor "critical."

TMZ has obtained the calls made by first responders as they rushed to rescue Ford after his plane crashed at the Penmar Golf Club shortly after takeoff from a nearby airport.

While Ford's condition was later upgraded, in the moments following the crash he was classified as "critical" on more than one occasion.

"Basketball Wives LA" star Laura Govan says she recently suffered a miscarriage when she was pregnant with her 5th child with Gilbert Arenas ... but says she's finally ready to move on.

Govan says she only found out she was pregnant about a month ago ... and says she believes she was about 3 months along ... but lost the child a short time later.

"When it happened I didn't want to talk about or deal with it," Laura said on Instagram ... "but now I'm ready to get my life back on track!"

Laura says she gained roughly 15 pounds during the pregnancy -- but is now focused on losing the weight.

"This is something REAL that happens every day to women like you and me and it's real easy to feel alone, confused and unsure about how to handle or deal with the struggle."

Three guys who were near the Santa Monica Airport freaked out as they watched Harrison Ford's plane go down seconds before it crashed.

It appears at least 2 of the men were movers, who were blocks from the airport when they looked up and saw Harrison's WWII plane gliding in ... with the engine stopped.

It's as if they're trying to will the plane to the airport ... rooting it on as it makes the glide.

Listen closely to the audio ... you never hear an engine noise, which reinforces their notion that the plane had no power.

TMZ has obtained video of Harrison Ford's WWII vintage plane, rumbling down the Santa Monica Airport runway ... just seconds before Ford realized something was seriously wrong with the aircraft.

A pilot who was taxiing to the runway spotted Ford's plane and shot the video, NOT because Harrison was piloting the plane. The other pilot just thought Ford's plane looked awesome ... he had no idea Ford was the pilot.

The pilot who shot the video says he waved at Ford, who returned the wave and then accelerated for takeoff.

6:20 PM PT -- A rep for Ford says, "Harrison was flying a WW2 vintage plane today which stalled upon takeoff." They added, "He had no other choice but to make an emergency landing, which he did safely. The injuries sustained are not life-threatening, and he is expected to make a full recovery."

5:05 PM PT -- TMZ just obtained video of first responders on the scene treating Harrison ... just yards away from the plane he just crash landed on the golf course.

5:00 PM PT -- Harrison's son Ben just tweeted, "At the hospital. Dad is ok. Battered, but ok! He is every bit the man you would think he is."

4:30 PM PT -- We've obtained intense audio of Harrison talking to the Santa Monica Airport control tower just moments after he'd taken off. Listen ... you hear him report engine failure and request an emergency return to the airport.

4:41 PM PT -- A witness who was golfing at the time of the crash tells us she heard the engine sputter ... and watched the plane do a "nose dive straight on the 8th hole tee box."

The witness adds, "I was one of the first people to run from the hole toward the plane. 4 to 5 men pulled the pilot out of the plane."

"They got him away from the plane. They were concerned it would catch on fire."

"Two doctors were there – and they had a 1st aid box with them. He was conscious, talking a little -- a HUGE cut on his head."

The witness tells us the cut was VERY deep -- "A swath of his skin was missing. There was blood dripping down his face."

A small plane piloted by Harrison Ford has crash-landed at an L.A. golf course ... but we're told the actor has survived.

TMZ has learned ... Ford was piloting what appears to be a vintage 2-seater fighter plane Thursday ... when something went wrong and he crashed into Penmar golf course in Venice, CA. Remarkably, it appears Ford veered off course from the runway in order to avoid crashing into homes.

We're told Ford suffered multiple gashes to his head and was bleeding. Two doctors who happened to be at the golf course rushed over to treat the actor.

Emergency personnel arrived to the scene a short time later. Ford was transported to a nearby hospital.

72-year-old Ford is a longtime aviator -- piloting planes and helicopters -- and has crashed multiple times in the past.

Kendall Jenner drew crowds in Paris that rivaled Charles Lindbergh ... well, maybe not exactly, but pretty close.

Kendall was leaving the Balmain Fashion Show where she had just walked the runway and when she left it was next to impossible to traverse the hundreds of crazed fans.

Kendall was with a bodyguard who was way too small for the task.

Bobby Brown was the one given a gift on Bobbi Kristina's 22nd birthday ... he was allowed to gather both sides of the family together to celebrate her special day.

Sources close to the family say Bobby and his wife, Alicia Etheredge, were allowed to invite several members of the Brown family to join them, along with the Houstons -- who've been at the hospital every day -- for Bobbi Kristina's birthday vigil.

Tyler Perry and Bobby's brother Tommy were among the family and friends who joined them at Emory University Hospital Wednesday for cake and some semblance of normalcy during this difficult situation.

As you know ... Bobbi Kristina was found submerged in her bathtub on January 31 ... and has been in a medically induced coma and on life support ever since.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's bodyguard launched himself into the crowd outside a Paris Fashion Week event when fans and photogs got way too close for Kanye's comfort.

Kimye was heading into the Balmain show Thursday morning -- entering through the back door -- to go see Kendall Jenner walk the runway. But the instant they stepped out of their car ... the crowd started to swarm and Kanye barked at security to clear a path for Kim ... which they did on her side of the car.

But on his side, things started to get hairy -- and that's when the hired muscle sprung into action.

Bad news ladies, Mr. Big from "Sex and the City" is now walking with a big cane.

Chris Noth's been pulling off the sexy distinguished gentleman thing for years -- but Wednesday he was spotted in NYC's East Village with a new prop.

Nick Gordon will finally tell his version of events that led to Bobbi Kristina face down in a bathtub near death, but he won't be telling cops ... he'll be yakking to Dr. Phil.

We're told Phil will meet Nick in the next few days and they will set a time for the formal sit-down. We're told the good doctor will ask about his battles with Bobby Brown and family ... battles that have kept him from Bobbi Kristina's hospital bed.

Here's the tricky part. Nick is the target of a criminal investigation that was launched when authorities noticed that Bobbi Kristina had visible injuries. As the saying goes ... whatever Nick says can be held against him, and it would be weird, to say the least, if Nick pled the 5th on Phil's show.

And finally, warning to Dr. Phil ... Nick has proven flaky in the past, so cross your fingers and hope he shows.