TV

"American Horror Story: Freak Show" star Ben Woolf is in critical condition after he was struck in the head by a moving car in Hollywood Thursday night ... TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell us ... the 4'4" actor -- who plays Meep and was heavily featured in the current season of the show -- was struck in the head by the mirror of a passing SUV as he crossed a Hollywood street. He was rushed to a nearby hospital.

Cops say they did not ticket the driver because Ben was jaywalking when he was struck.

As for Ben ... he remains in intensive care.

Chuck Lorre and the folks at "Two and a Half Men" used the finale to rip on Charlie Sheen all episode long … and then gruesomely kill him … all because Charlie wouldn't do as he was told.

Long story short, the show set up a scenario where Charlie's character wasn't really dead. In the final scene, a man who looks like Charlie (seen only from behind) shows up at the house ... but is killed by a falling piano, much to the delight of Lorre.

Lorre's infamous vanity card explained the show wanted Charlie to return for real in the finale, but Sheen refused. Lorre claims Sheen instead wanted a heartwarming scene to set the stage for a spin-off show with Jon Cryer.

Lorre was having NONE of that, but watch -- he still copped Sheen's catchphrase to close the show.

Harris Wittels, one of the executive producers of "Parks and Recreation" died at his home Thursday from a possible drug overdose ... TMZ has learned.

According to law enforcement sources ... Wittels was pronounced dead around 1 PM. We're told the 30-year-old was found lying on his couch ... and there was drug paraphernalia in the house. There were no signs of trauma to his body.

Wittels spoke openly about his battles with drug addiction. He'd gone to rehab twice.

In addition to working on 'Parks & Rec' ... Wittels produced and wrote for "Eastbound and Down" and "The Sarah Silverman Program." He's also credited with making "Humblebrag," a thing on social media ... and even turned it into a coffee table book.

'Parks & Rec' is in its final season, and the last episode is set to air next week.

Wittels performed stand-up Wednesday night at The Meltdown -- an L.A.comedy theater. During his set he talked about being clean and sober ... and said he was in a good place.

WWE superstar Seth Rollins has a NEW message for Jon Stewart -- BRING IT ON!!!

After the "Daily Show" host called him out in a smack talk video, Rollins responded on "TMZ Hollywood Sports" on Reelz and fired back at Stewart ... calling him old, frail and a total wuss.

We raised the issue that Stewart was a college athlete who played soccer for William & Mary ... but Rollins didn't seem fazed. In fact, he talked even more smack.

"People think WE take falls? Look at soccer players!"

There's more ... much, much more. Can't wait to see if Stewart hits back -- again.

Make sure to check out "TMZ Hollywood Sports" on Reelz -- weekdays 3 PM ET, 6 PM PT.

Eddie Murphy threw a David Spade-style shot at a "Saturday Night Live" alum way back in 1981 ... making his decades-long grudge against "SNL" puzzling.

We found this clip of Murphy on "Weekend Update" during Season 6 ... talking about his fear that the military draft would return -- and then offering up the perfect draft candidate -- Garrett Morris.

Eddie then held up Morris' head shot and added, "I know he's a little over age, but word has it he's got a lot of free time right now."

WWE superstar Seth Rollins has a HUGE problem ... there's "160 pounds of dynamite" ready to explode on his ass for talking smack about "The Daily Show" ... and that man is Jon Stewart.

Stewart just shot a video response to Rollins -- who went on "Raw" this week and said he should take over for Jon ... who was UNWATCHABLE as the host of the Comedy Central show.

Well, Stewart didn't take too kindly to the smack talk ... and came back HARD at Rollins with some threats of his own ... and it's EPIC!!!

Everyone loves Taraji P. Henson on "Empire" ... but can you imagine her in the White House?? It was closer to happening than you think -- since TPH used to work inside the Pentagon.

President Cookie! Think how awesome that would've been ... boo boo kitties.

Through a rep, Cosby responded to the Murphy story, saying, "I am very appreciative of Eddie and I applaud his actions."

Eddie Murphy had Bill Cosby's back during the "SNL" 40th anniversary special, refusing to "kick a man when he's down" ... so says Norm Macdonald.

Apparently Eddie had a few epic lines for the best skit on the show -- "Celebrity Jeopardy." The category was "Potent Potables" and Eddie was supposed to appear as Cosby. That alone, Macdonald said, would have gotten the biggest laugh ... period.

But Macdonald says on the day of the show, Murphy had a change of heart. Macdonald tweeted, "He knew the laughs would bring the house down. Eddie Murphy knows what will work on 'SNL' better than anyone," adding, "Eddie decides the laughs are not worth it. He will not kick a man when he's down."

The skit went on without Eddie, with Keenan Thompson playing Cosby.

UFC star Luke Rockhold says he got DONE DIRTY on "The Millionaire Matchmaker" -- and was made to look like a scumbag on the show ... but claims it was worth it 'cause he hooked up with one of Patti Stanger's smokin' hot co-stars.

Of course, Rockhold's appearance on the show earlier this year was super controversial -- after he asked one of his potential matches if she "spits or swallows."

Patti tore Luke's ass up in a post-date meeting -- a meeting where Luke can be seen putting the moves on Patti's attractive assistant.

Check out the clip -- Luke makes it seem as though SOMEONE in Patti's office wanted a piece of The Rock ... but he's mum as to which lady got the tongue.

And there's even MORE silver lining ... Luke says his social media pages have been blowing up with chicks who wanna hook up ... and as Luke puts it, "They don't say they spit."

You stay classy, Rockhold.

Honey Boo Boo is far from done ... the fam is back in L.A. meeting with producers this week ... but convicted sex-offender Mark McDaniel could derail everything.

Sources say several networks believe the world has been Boo-deprived for too long ... TLC cancelled the show back in October. The idea being shopped is a "Beverly Hillbillies" theme with a new house, money, and drivers while they adjust to being famous around town.

But here's the problem ... we're told producers want to drudge up Chickadee's molestation business with McDaniel and use it to inaugurate the series, but the family says they're dealing with it privately in therapy and want to move on.

But people love it when couples reunite ... por ejemplo Mama June and Sugar Bear ... we're told producers are pushing to see them fix things and co-parent for the show.

Decisions ... decisions.

Vanilla Ice has been arrested and charged with burglary and grand theft for allegedly stealing furniture, a pool heater, bicycles and other stuff from a vacant home in Florida.

Lantana PD tells TMZ ... it's all connected to Ice's TV show, "The Vanilla Ice Project." Ice was renovating a nearby home and allegedly thought it was a good idea to go to the abandoned place and take the items in question.

Apparently, even though the house was vacant, the rightful owner had a problem with someone jacking their belongings ... thus the burglary charge.

The cops got a search warrant and recovered some of the items.

"The Bachelor" host Chris Harrison tells TMZ Sports he has a job for Dez Bryant next year if the Cowboys don't pay up ... handing out roses to thirsty co-eds as the next "Bachelor"!!

Harrison was freezing his butt off in NYC (we love you, L.A.) when our camera guy asked if there was an ideal pro athlete who could take over the lead role for next season.

It's not a crazy question ... considering the show has featured several athletes in prior seasons including football player Jesse Palmer, soccer stud Juan Pablo Galavis, and baseball pro Josh Murray.

Check out the clip -- Chris has a fresh, new and slightly more chocolate idea for the show ... saying that Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant -- and his killer abs -- would be perfect for the next installment.

Jerry, dig deep into your wallet ... 'cause this isn't a half bad idea.

NBC hung Brian Williams out to dry, and guaranteed he will never return to its "Nightly News" desk ... according to veteran news guy Geraldo Rivera.

The "Celebrity Apprentice" runner-up told us Williams got a raw deal when NBC suspended him for 6 months, because it prolonged the inevitable -- what he calls a "death penalty" to BW's career.

Geraldo added ... the Peacock should've just ripped off the band-aid and canned Williams now. Not that he thinks that would've been fair.

Watch the video ... it's the staunchest defense we've seen yet -- blasting network execs and everyone who's judging Brian from "the safety of their parents' basement with their hands on their computer saying tsk tsk."

We smell a budding bromance.

2:20 PM PT -- Brendon's rep tells TMZ, "Nicholas is, unfortunately, battling a disease that many of us don't understand. We are working with him to improve upon the situation at hand and look toward the future. He's sorry for his actions and takes what happened last night very seriously. We will take great care to ensure his safety in the future."

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" star Nicholas Brendon is in big trouble ... he was arrested for felony grand theft at a Hilton hotel.

Brendon was in Ft. Lauderdale for a comic book convention and authorities say he got rip-roaring drunk, trashed his hotel room and ended up asleep in a hotel employee's office.

According to the police report -- obtained by TMZ -- Brendon did $450 worth of damage to the room and was on the hook for nearly $380 in food and beverage charges.

Cops say Brendon refused to pay, and that's why he's been charged with grand theft. Sounds a little like the whole Randy Quaid incident at a hotel near Santa Barbara.

Sounds like the convention folks paid for Brendon's room, but he was pissed he didn't get more, because just hours before his arrest he tweeted, "Hey Twatters! I'm stuck in Ft Lauderdale w/no per diem. No hotel. No ride to the airport. Thanks @Shockpopcc."

Brendon has had issues at comic conventions before this ... he was arrested last October for a disturbance at an Idaho hotel. Two days later, he apologized and said he was going to rehab.

A few days before the latest arrest, Brendon said he split from his wife of five months.

"Real Housewives of New Jersey" star Teresa Aprea has been slapped with a huge laundry bill -- her employees claim she shorted their checks and made 'em pay to clean their own uniforms.

According to court docs ... a former bartender and server at Aprea's NYC restaurant Angelo's of Mulberry St. says Aprea and her husband would only pay them for 7 hours -- even though they routinely worked 10 hour shifts. They also claim they paid out-of-pocket to wash their unis ... but NY law requires employers to pony up.

It's gotta sting ... Aprea famously told Teresa Giudice -- serving 15-months for fraud -- "karma's a bitch" ... but now she's the one facing a class action suit.

The employees' attorney -- David Gottlieb -- is demanding the Apreas shell out up to $2500 per worker for unpaid wages and overtime, uniform cleaning costs, plus an unspecified amount of damages.

Bravo, Karma.

"The Bachelor" star Chris Soules welcomed his girlfriends into his Iowa hometown, and they crapped all over it -- while producers made it seem deserted ... and now Chris' old neighbors are pissed.

If you missed the last 2 episodes ... 4 of the 5 final girls showed up unannounced in Arlington, Iowa for a tour that would lead you to believe everyone's fleeing the one-horse town. Stores were closed, Main Street was dead, and one of the locals slammed Arlington for being boring.

City Clerk Mary Jo Brown tells TMZ it was a totally unfair depiction. She says the town has a ton going for it -- parks, a community center, and plenty of job options.

Brown shared her laundry list of complaints about the production:

-- the use of ghost town music to hype the episode

-- one of the shops shown was only closed the day they taped, but business is doing well

-- producers didn't shoot on a weekday when main street is way busier

'Bachelor' producers had no comment.

Brown says she'd welcome Chris and the girls back to town -- and insists there's plenty to see and do in Arlington.