Emile Hirsch Preppiest Mug Shot Ever

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Emile Hirsch was in and out of a Park City courthouse Monday for his Sundance assault case ... but he did stay long enough to take this epic mug shot.

Hirsch's first appearance was an uneventful one -- a status conference was set for April 13.

Hirsch is facing a felony assault charge stemming from an incident on January 25. Hirsch allegedly put Daniele Bernfeld, a film executive, into a chokehold at a festival event.

Hirsch faces up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine.

He checked himself into rehab following the incident.

Kate Hudson Did Chris Martin Make Cold Play at Beach?

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Kate Hudson was hanging at the beach Saturday with Chris Martin ... which is interesting, right?

Kate split from hubby Matthew Bellamy in December, and Chris has parted ways with Gwyneth Paltrow and moved on to Jennifer Lawrence. So the fun-in-the-sun day in Malibu is kinda curious.

Kate and Chris both brought their kids along, and they've been friends for a long time, but it's still interesting, right?

Kellan Lutz 30th Birthday a Real Croc!!!

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Kellan Lutz celebrated his 30th birthday Saturday night with a flair ... at Dan Bilzerian's Hollywood Hills pad.

There were hot naked chicks and dudes wearing very little, per the invitation, which says, "The pool is heated to 95 degrees, and the Jacuzzi is on! We bought 150 white towels, and encourage everyone to bring a bathing suit (white bathing suit preferred)."

Everything was white. The invite makes it clear it's "an all white party. You will not get in if you are not wearing all white."

The only other celebs we spotted were boxer Victor Ortiz and "Twilight" star Ashley Greene.

Mel Gibson I'd Be Harrison Ford's Wingman Any Day

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Mel Gibson thinks Harrison Ford is supremely airworthy, despite a crash here and there.

Mel was leaving the grocery store Saturday in Malibu when we asked if he had enough confidence in Ford to soar with him. Mel didn't bat an eye, showing full confidence in the 72-year-old pilot.

The 2 guys have history ... both were in "Expendables 3" and they've known each other for decades.

John Madden Blasts Will Ferrell MLB Stunt Was a Travesty

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BOOM!!!!

John Madden just WENT OFF on Will Ferrell -- ripping the guy over his MLB Spring Training stunt ... saying it was disrespectful and insulting to the game of baseball ... and yes, he's being serious.

The NFL legend called in to KCBS Morning Newswatch right before Ferrell took the field with 10 MLB teams in Arizona yesterday ... and essentially said the stunt robbed real players of REAL opportunities and made a mockery of the game.

"I hate it," Madden said of the stunt ... "That's a lack of respect for the game and for what players have to do to get where they are."

Unclear if Madden knew Ferrell's antics were part of a charity fundraiser that helped to benefit multiple cancer organizations.

Still, probably shouldn't count on a Madden cameo in Ferrell's next flick.

'Frozen 2' Disney Just Can't ... Let It Go

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Just when you thought your kids were done singing "Let It Go" over and over and over and over and over ... Disney announced Thursday they are going forward with plans for "Frozen 2."

The first film had a worldwide take of over $1.2 billion, so this wasn't exactly a tough decision.

"Frozen" co-directors Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck will both be involved in the sequel. The original film won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film.

Plans are also in the works for a "Frozen" musical.

Kevin Hart Drops a Deuce on Justin Bieber In Charity Tennis Match

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Justin Bieber took on Kevin Hart in a charity tennis match yesterday ... with Will Ferrell acting as line judge. Here's what we learned:

-- Kevin Hart sucks at tennis
-- Justin Bieber sucks less
-- Will Ferrell didn't play because he has an inflamed buttock

It was actually a pretty cool event ... the 11th annual Desert Smash in La Quinta, CA to raise money for Cancer for College, which provides college scholarships to cancer survivors.

Check out the clip ... you can see Bieber vs. Hart ... with Ferrell roasting the athletes during the match. Funny stuff.

But one of the most interesting parts of the day ... Bieber was partnered up with Canadian tennis pro Genie Bouchard (pictured below).

Of course, you probably remember Bouchard as the 21-year-old tennis hottie who made headlines last year during a post-game interview when she said Bieber was her dream date.

So, what happened when they were partnered up? They high-fived a lot, they posed for pics together and they seemed to be getting along ... but so far, no word on what happened after the game.

'Pirates of the Caribbean' Knife-Wielding Intruder CAPTURED

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Seems someone is going to be walking the plank ... because police in Australia have captured the guy who allegedly threatened a security guard with a knife after trying to sneak onto the set of the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.

The 22-year-old was charged Wednesday with one count of "going armed as to cause fear" ... he'll appear in court on March 27, presumably without his bird.

The guy was taken into custody with the parrot still on his shoulder. Way to stay committed to the bit, pal!

As for the actual movie ... shooting is being interrupted slightly after Johnny Depp mysteriously injured his hand (not during shooting) and flew back to the U.S. for surgery. The injury is not expected to affect the release date.

(H/T Gold Coast Bulletin for the intruder pic)

Pirates of the Caribbean Fraud On Set & ... A Parrot Too! [TMZ TV]

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All it took was some messy hair, a 'do rag, and a shady looking parrot ... for a dangerous dude to sneak on the set of the new"Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.

The guy used a KMart changing room to make a clean escape -- but we're still thinking the parrot should be a dead giveaway.

Macaulay Culkin Smoke Alone Too

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Macaulay Culkin racked up even more "me time" during an introspective smoke and stroll ... while sporting his best grandpa sweater Monday in NYC.

In the "make you feel old as hell" department ... this year marks the 25th anniversary of Mac's breakout role in "Home Alone." The facial hair, cigarette, combat boots, and ponytail hair are sure signs a lot's changed since then -- but the John Hughes classic still holds up.

We'd be lying if we said we weren't jonesin' for a little Wet Bandit action.

Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson It's a Walk-Off! Hansel & Derek Crash Fashion Week

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Derek Zoolander and Hansel McDonald un-retired for a surprise appearance in Paris today ... treating the crowd at the Valentino show to an epic "walk-off."

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson stunned the crowd by bringing back the characters for Fashion Week ... as sort of a dry-run for the upcoming "Zoolander" sequel.

Neither said a word -- in true male model fashion -- but worked their magic on the runway.

Finally ... more funding for "The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too."

They're so hot right now.

'Pirates of the Caribbean' Long Arrrrrm of the Law Hunting for Arrrmed Pirate

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APB Australia -- be on the lookout for a pirate with a knife and a grudge and a parrot.

The pirate in question apparently is interested in breaking into showbiz, because he snuck on the set of the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie and allegedly pulled a knife on security.

The pirate sure looked authentic ... down to a parrot on his shoulder. He fled into the bushland before cops arrived.

The pirate somehow made his way to a Kmart. There's surveillance video of him hiding in one of the changing rooms while cops were trying to hunt him down.

The pirate and the bird are still on the loose.

'Twilight' Star Sues You Trashed My Recording Studio!!!

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"Twilight" co-star Jackson Rathbone claims he thought he was getting a studio in Studio City ... but he got a dirty shell from the unscrupulous sellers.

Rathbone bought a $1.2 million spread, which he insists included a recording studio that was up and running when he made the offer. But when he moved in, the actor claims the sellers had gutted the studio. To add insult to injury, he says the sellers turned the front lawn into a garbage heap.

Rathbone says the studio was an important selling point since he's a musician who was in the group, 100 Monkeys. He demanded that the sellers return and restore the studio to its glory but they refused.

A rep for the sellers had no comment.

Jackson wants more than $50k to get what he claims is what he bargained for.

Chris Evans Captain America And Star-Lord Assemble For Super Bowl Promise

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When Captain America makes a promise ... he always follows through -- especially when it involves a deal he made with Chris Pratt over the Super Bowl.

As you may recall ... Pratt, a Seahawks fan, lost a bet to Chris Evans over the big game last month and visited a children's hospital dressed as Star-Lord from "Guardians of the Galaxy." Afterward, Evans agreed to the do the same, as Cap.

The 33 year-old hunk visited Seattle Children's Hospital Saturday in his Captain America costume ... and it's clear by the looks on these kids faces that their day was made.

The only thing Captain America couldn't do ... was explain why Marshawn Lynch didn't get the ball on the last play.

Harrison Ford LAFD Scanner Audio ... 'One Critical Patient'

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Local police and fire were dispatched en masse to the Harrison Ford crash scene Thursday afternoon and once they got to the scene, they deemed the legendary actor "critical."

TMZ has obtained the calls made by first responders as they rushed to rescue Ford after his plane crashed at the Penmar Golf Club shortly after takeoff from a nearby airport.

While Ford's condition was later upgraded, in the moments following the crash he was classified as "critical" on more than one occasion.

He's expected to make a full recovery.

Harrison Fore!! Golf Course Reopens for Play

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Santa Monica golfers can officially play through Harrison Ford's massive divot on the 8th hole ... the municipal course is open for play again ... TMZ Sports has learned.

Penmar Golf Course officials tell us they reopened as soon as Ford's wreckage was removed from the tee box for the 8th hole on Friday afternoon. We're told the damage to the course hasn't been fully repaired yet, but golfers are being told to treat it as a hazard.

One last thing ... anyone whose play was interrupted by Harrison's was eligible for a refund.