Foxnews Latino

Chris Christie got himself into one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations with the Dallas Cowboys ... so says Sen. Marco Rubio who tells TMZ Sports this won't end well for the NJ Gov.

As everyone sits and waits to see if Christie once again joins Jerry Jones in the owner's box when the team takes on the Green Bay Packers this weekend ... Rubio says, "He can't win either way."

Jennifer Lopez passed the "Vegas Residency Test" with flying colors on New Year's Eve, and in the process scored more than $400K.

Our Vegas sources tell us ... Lopez raked in $410,000 for her NYE performance at Caesars Palace, plus she gets back end. Even though the show was sold out, the venue only netted slightly more than $600K.

It's still good, and our sources say the point of the gig was to see if Lopez was a sufficient draw for a full-on residency.

To put Lopez's payday in context, Britney makes around $475K a show with her new contract.

We're told Caesars was pleased.

Jennifer Lopez just massacred Marc Anthony, Ben Affleck, Diddy and worst of all ... Casper Smart!

JLo had a little truth slip on "American Idol" Wednesday night ... letting fellow judges Harry Connick Jr. and Keith Urban in on a secret -- she's awesome, but the problem lies with the men she chooses.

We forgot poor Chris Judd. She thinks he sucks too.

Charlie Sheen went on a rant early Thursday AM, this time apparently mocking "Two and a Half Men" ... and it seems like it all has to do with drama surrounding the final episode.

In a bizarre, hard-to-understand diatribe, Charlie seemed to use his former show's theme song to express his displeasure:

men men men
men - men me suck,
gotta suk me more men before they suk me more men

It's impossible to figure out exactly what he's saying ... he tried to use TwitLonger to better explain himself, but the link leads to a post with even LESS text.

Deciphering this is next to impossible -- but a likely theory is that Charlie wanted to be included on the finale show, but Chuck Lorre may not have extended an invite.

It was one of the most famous jheri curls in the history of sports ... which is why Pedro Martinez tells TMZ Sports he HOPES his luscious locks will be enshrined on his Hall of Fame plaque.

The 3-time Cy Young winner was at the Waldorf Astoria in NYC when asked about the all-important image that will be on display in Cooperstown when he's inducted later this year.

Martinez says his hair defined him -- and he was damn proud of it.

He also gave us some H.O.F. advice about to keep your jehri curl as wondrous as his ... you gotta watch this clip, it'll make your soul glow!

It looks like a KKK rally, but it's actually a clumsily designed shroud to protect famous bride Cameron Diaz from the paparazzi.

Multiple pics were taken by various photogs of the backyard scene. Cameron and Benji Madden didn't want their entrance captured by outsiders, so 4 people carried the contraption to the altar, with the bride safely tucked inside.

Unclear if the big reveal will be in a magazine, but we're betting that's the case.

Friendly advice ... a chuppa would have done nicely.

11:30 AM PT -- Sheen tweeted an apology to Kim. He wrote:

Dear Kim,
my extreme bad.
really embarrassed by my
actions.
I was already pissed about some other crap that had nothing to do with you.
I heard a story that
bothered me.
wrote some trash you didn't deserve. Ever.
I'm an idiot as often as I'm a genius.
that day, clearly I was the
former.
xox
c
#ShutUpSheen

Charlie Sheen isn't done with Kim Kardashian, telling TMZ, "Zero gratitude, zero awareness, zero talent, a pox on the face of entertainment she is!"

Charlie tells us he actually didn't mean to send the vicious tweet this morning, saying he wrote it a month ago and it accidentally posted Tuesday morning. Nevertheless, he says he stands by it.

Charlie ranted that Kim turned a cold shoulder to a 6-year-old girl who wanted her autograph. Charlie wrote, "Go f yourself," saying Kim's ass was "gross" and "giggly."

Although he deleted the post, he says he stands by his comments. Charlie tells us it's a true story which he heard from C. Thomas Howell. Charlie says Howell told him the girl waited for Kim at a lunch place and politely asked her for her John Hancock when they were alone in the parking lot. He says Kim told her assistant, "Oh God, can you handle this."

Charlie says, "The assistant and dooshy got in her car and pulled out and sped past the poor little 6-year-old without even a glance to the child."

Charlie Sheen went on a wild rant against Kim Kardashian in the wee hours Tuesday morning, telling her to go "f yourself" for allegedly crushing a little girl's dream.

Charlie says a friend told him about a 6-year-old girl who worshiped Kim and asked her for her autograph. Charlie says Kim turned the kid down flat, adding, "She cries about it every night before she goes to sleep."

And that's when he goes off: "you are lucky that ANYONE cares about your gross and giggly [sic] bag of funk you dare call an ass."

He dares her to compare resumes with him, and then says, "your public loves u. give something back or go f yourself."

His parting shot, "My apologies to your hubby, great guy I'm sure, I hope his vision returns one day."

He signs it "c." Not even a "sincerely."

Sheen deleted the post a short while later.

11:30 AM PT -- Charlie has now apologized.

"Modern Family" star Sofia Vergara is engaged to marry one of the hottest guys in town ... so why is she hiding her massive engagement ring?

"True Blood" star Joe Manganiello popped the question over the holiday weekend after just six months of dating (and Sofia only broke up with her other fiancé less than two months before that).

Vergara was spotted at the airport with her ring turned around so nobody could see it.

The ring is rumored to be at least 10 carats ... who's gonna miss it?

Salma Hayek is not one to flaunt her curves -- we rarely see her rocking little black bikinis -- which is why we're showing you these pics of her ... rocking a little black bikini.

Salma was yachting in St. Barts with her husband Francois-Henri Pinault over the holiday weekend.

The guy who smashed into Jennifer Lopez's brand new Rolls-Royce was bombed -- nearly twice the legal limit -- and now could face time behind bars ... according to prosecutors.

The L.A. County D.A.'s office is charging Robert John Reitz with two misdemeanor counts of DUI for the September rear-ender on Pacific Coast Highway -- and they say his blood alcohol content was an astonishing .15.

You'll recall JLo and her pal Leah Remini were cruising in Jennifer's Rolls at the time of the accident. They posted a pic of themselves looking fabulous ... just seconds before Reitz hit them and fled the scene.

Reitz faces 6 months in jail and a $1,000 fine if convicted.

Christina Aguilera is not in the Christmas spirit ... she spent her birthday in "The Happiest Place On Earth" ... in a heated argument with Mickey Mouse ... TMZ has learned.

Our theme park source tells us while ringing in her 34th b-day at Disney California Adventure, Christina and her crew tried to get a pic with Mickey, but he was going on a break ... so Christina was told she had to wait. Cue meltdown!

Aguilera lost it, and called Mickey an "a**hole." We're told she even dropped the dreaded, "Do you know who I am?"

Xtina's crew started hurling threats, we're told ... and Mickey had to be ushered to a safe zone -- out of public view. Security was called, but by the time they arrived ... the former Mouseketeer had already split.

Aguilera's rep had no comment.

The finger Jose Canseco SHOT OFF HIS HAND is almost as good as new ... so says the MLB star's ex-wife who just showed TMZ Sports some pretty gnarly never-before-seen pics of Jose's progress.

Jessica Canseco was leaving 1 Oak in Hollywood when she admitted she told Jose to have the finger amputated after he put a bullet through the digit back in October.

But fortunately Jose didn't take her advice ... and now Jessica says he's on his way to one of the most miraculous recoveries she's ever seen -- thanks to an insane surgical procedure involving a piece of Jose's hip bone!!!

Check out the clip -- Jessica not only gives the medical update ... but shows off graphic pics of Jose's hand just weeks after the accident.

Better put your food down for this one ...

As we first reported ... hip-hop dancer/teacher Honey Rockwell sued the studio for millions, saying she never gave them permission to make the movie that mirrors her life. She claims she busted out the "Honey" stage name more than 20 years ago ... way before its release.

But a judge decided her claims came too little too late and says the studio was protected by the First Amendment -- that means, no matter how bad it was, the movie was artistic expression.

Rockwell says she couldn't file sooner because she wasn't familiar with the film industry and didn't know who to sue ... the court said that's no excuse and decided she also doesn't own any rights to the name.

Selena Gomez brought home a new friend to meet the parents in Texas ... one Cara Delevingne!

Selena and Cara became fast friends this summer. We first saw them on a yacht in St. Tropez where they celebrated Selena's birthday and showered down together.

Fast forward to this week ... Selena went to her parents home outside Dallas for XMAS, and brought along Cara.

Selena and Cara hit up North Park Mall in Dallas, where they paraded around Victoria's Secret ... where they shopped for bras. They then made a beeline for Nordstrom, where they held hands and Cara slapped Selena's ass.

Justin who?

Vanessa Bryant takes her Christmas card photo VERY SERIOUSLY -- so seriously in fact that Mrs. Mamba tapped one of the top designers from "Project Runway" to make her dress.

Kobe Bryant's wife called upon MTCostello -- who has designed clothes for huge stars like Beyonce and Ariana Grande.

They got together and picked out MTCostello's signature "Black Widow" gown -- which comes with a $6,500 price tag!!

Vanessa had flirted with a bronze version of the dress during an earlier fitting ... but ultimately, decided to go with black.

Sources close to the situation tell us ... Vanessa has always been passionate about Xmas cards. As one person put it, "She takes great pride and puts great thought into celebrating because she's very religious."