Humor

It's pretty much impossible not to laugh at this -- Arnold Schwarzenegger completely losing his crap while trying to do the Nae Nae on TV ... and then taking it up a notch ... with the Stanky Legg.

Arnold and Joe Manganiello just appeared on BET's "106 & Park" to promote their new movie together -- and hosts Bow Wow and Keshia put the guys' dance moves to the test.

James Van Der Beek thinks it would be sacrilegious if a new actor donned Harrison Ford's iconic fedora in a new Indiana Jones movie ... unless that actor was him.

Our photogs caught up with the "Friends With Better Lives" star in New York City yesterday ... where we asked him about the huge rumor that Bradley Cooper might be the next Indy.

Van Der Beek was dead set against the idea of anyone new taking the role, but when we asked if he would want to do it ... he hilariously deadpanned, "Absolutely. F*** Harrison Ford."

Khloe Kardashian is steaming mad at Joan Rivers for spoofing her sister's sex tape by doing a pretty hilarious rendition with Ray J ... so she bailed on co-hosting Joan's show at the last minute.

Khloe was scheduled to shoot Wednesday for Joan's E! show "Fashion Police," but sources close to production tell us ... Khloe pulled out .... hmmm, just like Ray J.

It's thrown Joan's show into panic mode -- probably to the satisfaction of Khloe -- because they have to scramble for a new co-host and re-do the script.

TMZ broke the story ... Joan filmed a comedy sketch with Ray J for her new WE tv show "Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?" -- spoofing Ray J and Kim Kardashian's famous sex romp.

It's pretty hilarious ... but the Kardashians aren't laughing.

James Franco and Seth Rogen have improved the Vogue cover with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West ... although they missed one slight detail.

Rogen tweeted the cover -- we're guessing it's photoshopped -- with Seth playing bitch. We might add, not an unattractive bride.

They almost had us fooled ... but then we looked at in the vicinity of the ring and, well, you don't get that from a Hawaiian vacation.

As you recall ... the duo hilariously spoofed Kimye in November with their music video "Bound 3."

It was bound 2 happen.

The "Today" show has an interesting new strategy for regaining its king-of-the-morning title ... do a phony, f***-laced meltdown with Al Roker ... but the show needs some pointers ... which TMZ will gladly offer.

We just got this video of Al going off on Billy Bush, who was interviewing Johnny Weir during the Sochi Olympics. The clip has a whispery set-up, where Al seems to be schooling Billy who just doesn't know his place on the broadcasting food chain.

And then Al rants ... and it's dirty. And NBC clearly wanted us and everyone else to run it ... which we will gladly do.

Advice to NBC: Lose the crew from the shot. The camera guy can barely focus he's laughing so hard. Also, use a lavalier mic (clip-on), rather than a boom. The boom is in Al's face so there's no way anyone would believe it's authentic. And, get Al an acting lesson or 2. The overacting is felonious.

Ray J has re-entered the world of porn ... and he's gone from blow jobs to nose jobs.

The man famous for making Kim Kardashian a star hit the sheets with Joan Rivers for a very dirty session. Ok ... nowhere near as dirty as he got with Kim, but in old lady terms, it's raunchy.

As Joan does so well ... they faked sex for her WE tv show, "Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?" (which premieres March 29). You gotta watch ... it's pretty funny.

Even though it's all for gags ... Vivid Entertainment honcho Steven Hirsch tells TMZ he did meet with Joan to discuss the possibility of making her his first GILF star. He tells us, "I'd pay her $100,000 right now!"

The question is ...

Billy Crystal didn't need to shower his wife with fancy jewels on her birthday this weekend -- he took her on a scavenger hunt in Santa Monica instead ... along with Bette Midler and Rob Reiner ... and the video is hilarious.

It's called the Fantastic Santa Monica Race -- basically a fun scavenger hunt tour of the city -- and we're told Billy and co. did the whole shebang Sunday ... the trivia, other weird games, the cheerleading, an interactive mystery novel ... and the beer celebration at the end.

The best part -- at $89 a head, the Fantastic Race is a hell of a lot cheaper than renting out an expensive restaurant or lounging on some boring yacht ... and Billy had a blast.

Whattya know. Money really doesn't buy happiness.

We're rockin' and rollin' in L.A. this morning ... 'cause we just had an EEEAAARTHQUAKEE!!!!

Early reports are that SoCal was hit with a 4.7 and the epicenter is near Westwood, home of UCLA.

We definitely felt it here at the TMZ offices (except for a few people in the kitchen) .... don't worry we're fine.

During the shake, Harvey terrifyingly jumped off a live radio interview ... either because he was that concerned about the staff or because he thought he was going to die. We're not really sure.

Samuel L. Jackson isn't the kind of guy who beats around the bush -- so when we asked if he thinks Kobe Bryant will ever win another NBA title, the guy was as brutally honest as it gets.

But don't crawl into a ball just yet Laker fans, there is a silver lining ... according to Sam, there's still a way for the Mamba to fetch another ring ... but it won't be due to his performance ON the court.

Legendary comedian David Brenner has died at the age of 78 ... and he went out with a joke.

Brenner's rep says David passed away peacefully Saturday evening at his NYC home surrounded by family.

As we previously reported ... Brenner slipped into a coma this week after his cancer got aggressive and started spreading rapidly.

D.B. holds the record for most "Tonight Show" appearances with 158 couch sessions. He also hosted the show a handful of times.

We're told David had one final request -- $100 in small bills be placed in his sock -- and said it was "just in case tipping is recommended where I'm going."

David Brenner -- who holds the record for number of appearances on the "Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson -- is on his death bed and people close to him say it's just a matter of days.

Sources close to Brenner say the 78-year-old comedian has cancer that has been aggressive ... spreading rapidly.

We're told Brenner slipped into a coma this week ... and doctors don't expect him to pull through.

David sat on Carson's couch 158 times ... and even hosted the "Tonight Show" a few times.

He was also a frequent guest on Howard Stern's radio show.

The $4 MILLION apology ring Kobe Bryant gave to Vanessa screwed things up for cheaters everywhere ... so says Marlon Wayans who says Kobe set the price of forgiveness way too damn high.

Marlon dished out the knowledge after we asked if Robin Thicke's apparent flower offensive would help the singer win back his wife after she broke things off.

"Robin's trying to bring it back to simplicity," Marlon said ... "Kobe changed the game."

"How is any man that f**ks up ... and we all f**k up ... how am I gonna compete with that?!"

For the record, Kobe didn't just splurge on a ring ... he also gave Vanessa 3 MANSIONS!

Unlike the rest of the universe, Joan Rivers isn't all that curious about seeing how big Johnny Carson's penis really is in that sex tape -- because she says ... she's already seen it up close and personal.

Joan -- who guest hosted on Carson's "Tonight Show" for years -- said she and Carson had a "one night bounce" back in the day ... and he was hung like a horse.

A NYC cabbie who pranked passengers with a live snake -- and posted their reactions to YouTube -- doesn't give two craps if the Taxi and Limousine Commission yanks his license ... he tells TMZ, he's on to much bigger things now.

Check out Jimmy Failla's video above -- it's pretty funny -- but New York City's TLC isn't laughing ... calling the prank "monumentally poor judgement on the driver's part." A rep says the commission is now actively reviewing Jimmy's TLC license. It's up for renewal next week.

But Jimmy tells us, if TLC wants to take his license away ... they can have it.

He says he shot the YouTube video to promote his new book ... and he's also making a living as a stand-up comedian -- so he doesn't need to drive cabs anymore. He never really liked doing it anyway.

It'll take more than Johnny Carson's 10-inch kielbasa to get a rise out of Dave Chappelle -- but only because DC's a legend when it comes to exposing junk on TV.

Dude got Snoop Dogg and Q-Tip to collabo with singing STDs! God, we miss Chappelle.