Humor

Rule #1 of live reporting during a massive snowstorm -- don't jinx yourself by speaking a snowball into existence, unless you wanna take an icy shot to the face ... like this reporter did.

Lauren Dawn was covering the nor'easter Wednesday for FOX 29 in Philly, and foolishly attempted a little man-on-the-street reporting from the middle of a snowball fight.

Next thing ya know, Lauren found herself surrounded by kids who couldn't care less about her camera, her microphone ... or her face. Mentioning the fact she'd been hit before going on the air was a big mistake, and we're pretty sure the kids made sure she doesn't repeat it.

Comedian Michael Blackson seriously wants to beat the crap outta Kevin Hart -- telling TMZ Sports he's bringing in 2 of the best boxers in the world so he can get the job done!!

Just last month, Blackson told us he wanted to fight Kev to settle their beef ... but we kinda figured he was joking since, you know, we're talking about Michael Blackson here.

But when we got him out at Argyle in Hollywood the other day -- MB claimed both Adrien Broner and Deontay Wilder have agreed to train him for the potential comedy superfight.

Michael says he tried hitting up Floyd, too, but got big-timed.

Elton John's still down to fight unruly fans -- Saturday night or not -- if they get onstage and refuse to keep their hands to themselves.

Sir Elton got pissed off, and stormed off his stage Thursday night in Las Vegas, right in the middle of his classic, 'Saturday Night.' Typically, he lets fans gather around his grand piano while he plays it, but a couple of 'em got way too close for Elton's comfort.

After an expletive or two -- off mic, of course, he's a pro -- EJ stormed offstage. You'll recall, he also took a shot during this song a couple weeks ago.

The crowd was pretty sure the show was over, but Elton came back to let 'em know there would be no more fan interaction. He blurted out, "You f**ked it up!" ... and then played "Circle of Life."

John Kelly says he's being punished by God ... and that's why he's working as Donald Trump's Chief of Staff.

Gen. Kelly made the joke Thursday at a Homeland Security event, where he was addressing his former colleagues at the department -- which he used to run. He says he must've done something wrong ... and the man upstairs took notice.

He also told his old crew he missed them ... the implication ... working for 45 ain't no walk in the park.

Robert De Niro and Bobby Cannavale displayed raw emotions on set ... with a side of beef.

The duo was filming Martin Scorsese's mobster thriller "The Irishman" on Tuesday in Queens. Robert and Bobby looked a little perplexed as a slab of beef arrived on set. That feeling clearly didn't last long ... the legendary actor later laughed his ass off.

Classic De Niro.

Unclear if anyone started punching the meat a la Rocky ... but what is very clear is De Niro is NOT wearing those hideous lifts. Remember? The guy De Niro is portraying stands at an intimidating 6'4". De Niro's only 5'10". All good ... De Niro still nails the mobster role.

Ted Cruz said Democrats were the party of Lisa Simpson, and that the GOP was the party of Homer, Bart, Maggie and Marge ... now he's explaining how so.

We got the TX senator Monday at Reagan National Airport in D.C. and asked him to elaborate on the comment he made last week at CPAC, which drew ridicule left and right.

Cruz offers a VERY thorough explanation into why each character -- sans Lisa -- represents Republican values and mirrors the traditional American family. Our question ... he reachin'?

One of the voice actors on the cartoon show clearly thinks so. We got Harry Shearer over the weekend, and he thought Cruz was way out of his element tying conservatism to Springfield.

Jon Stewart says you can't count anyone out of a U.S. political race these days -- and that even goes for staunch conservative Stacey Dash ... who's now eyeing D.C.

We got Jon Monday night leaving Madison Square Garden after a Knicks game, and asked about the "Clueless" star filing docs to run for Congress in California as a Republican.

The former 'Daily Show' host doesn't seem surprised at all by her intentions. Even more interesting ... he gives her a real chance at winning. Hey, it's the Trump era after all.

A kid who started peeing all over an elevator seriously pissed off the powers that be ... 'cause he got stuck in the elevator.

The video is hilarious -- the boy, who was alone in the lift, decided to empty his bladder. Wizzin' in the corner wasn't good enough for him either. Instead, he sprayed down the wall of the elevator, including the buttons ... which caused a short circuit.

Iman Shumpert says just because his wife is down with G.O.O.D. music, it doesn't mean he is ... telling TMZ Sports he's never even gotten so much as a beat from his boss-in-law, Kanye West.

Shumpert is a pretty serious rapper himself, having released his Mixtape "Shumpman: The MD" back in 2016, and continuing to flood social media with new verses on the regular.

We got Iman at LAX, and asked him if his wife's label boss, Kanye West, has ever given Shump any help AT ALL in his rap career ... and here's a shocker, it's never happened.

Iman says he's never asked ... not outright at least ... however we did find a recent freestyle he dropped over Kanye's "Grammy Family" beat (and he killed it), so we gotta ask ...

Reese Witherspoon knows if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself ... which is why she spruced up her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Reese filmed herself out on Hollywood Blvd. Sunday morning, and told her IG followers she'd be visiting an old friend in the area. That friend ... 2010 sidewalk Reese.

She playfully cleaned up some smudges on her star ... while also giving the hardware a nice little pep talk on not letting the world walk all over it, despite its permanent position in life.

John Shuster and the U.S. curling team are probably flying back home on something less than first class after winning gold at the Olympics ... all 'cause Delta denied 'em an upgrade.

The official U.S. Curling handle hit up Delta on Twitter Saturday asking if there was a way to get upgraded on the flight home from PyeongChang after taking 1st in men's curling.

Unfortunately, Delta said it had nothing for them upgrade-wise ... but at least if offered a congratulations and a warm welcome to the flight.

The curlers were gracious in their response, thanking Delta for looking into it and hoping for a smooth ride home. John and co. won the USA its first gold medal in the winter sport ever ... beating out Sweden for top honors.

Chrissy Teigen called an audible on an airport carry-on that paid off big time -- 'cause she was able to bring scalloped potatoes onto her flight without security gettin' fussy.

We got Chrissy heading into LAX Saturday, where just hours before she'd tweeted a very important question at American Airlines ... is ceramic all good with TSA?

Luckily, both AA and TSA hit her back letting her know the potatoes were fine in her originally intended casserole dish ... but it sounds like she switched up the container last minute.

Maybe she wanted to play it safe with some good ol' fashioned plastic. Whatever the reason ... the grub got the all-clear, as she quickly pointed out on social media.

Joe Jonas tried to take a stand in Australia -- on his surfboard -- and he eventually got there ... for about 2 seconds.

The DNCE singer went out looking to ride some waves at Bondi Beach Friday, but even with the help of a surfing instructor ... he couldn't quite get his body moves to sync up.

You gotta admire the Jonas bro's determination, though -- he kept hopping back up on his board even after eating it several times, and it finally paid off ...

Jaden and Willow Smith had no dad jokes when Will spoofed Jaden's "ICON" music video -- far from it, but they were in the mood to laugh about lots of other things.

We got Jaden and Willow separately Thursday night in Calabasas as they left the movies. We tried to ask Jaden about the new short film he's in, "Can Cowboys Cry" ... but he was more interested in jokingly ordering his gf, Odessa Adlon, to flee. Watch, it's pretty funny.

Willow was way more calm and collected when we approached her about Will's spoof of Jaden. In fact, she said she was kind of freaked out how dead-on Dad's version was to her bro's.

Of course, Will's become quite the social media sensation since joining Instagram -- so we had to ask what she thinks about his posts, and then ... BAM! Willow took a page out of Jaden's playbook, all in good fun.

Well played, kiddos.

There's only one person capable of hosting "The Wendy Williams Show," even if she's sidelined due to illness ... and God help you, if you suggest otherwise!

We got Wendy Williams Tuesday afternoon outside her NYC studio right after she announced she's been diagnosed with Graves' diseases and needs to take time off. She had a nice farewell message for her fans, but her tone changed dramatically when we raised the possibility of a ... guest host?

Remember, doctors recommended Wendy take 3 weeks of vacation, stat -- so it seemed like a reasonable question.

Let's just say Wendy did NOT see things the way our photog did!

Just when you thought the sale of the "Dumb and Dumber" mini bike couldn't possibly be any dumber, it was.

The hog featured in the classic 1994 comedy, and used to get Lloyd and Harry to Aspen ... hauled in $50,000 for the Houston man who sold it on eBay to fortify his kid's college fund. Considering the opening bid was $8,500 ... nice work, Dad.

The new owner is Todd Lyons from New York, who tells us one of his friends told him he wanted to bid on it, but his wife lowered the boom. Todd had no one dissuading him, so he went for it. Three cheers for bachelorhood!

As we reported ... the mini bike was one of 2 used in the film, specifically in all the close-up riding scenes with Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels.