Weird News

We now know why Chris Brown kept the silky panties some chick handed him​ while performing on stage Saturday -- the chick is SUPER HOT, and her panties came unused ... but sweaty.

TMZ has learned the undies tosser is 21-year-old Carol Quiroz -- and she tells us she's such a HUGE CB fan ... she had to make her presence known at the Anaheim show Saturday night.

Carol says her plan was simple ... "I wrote my name, number and Instagram on the thong in permanent marker. I got his attention and handed it to him."

Groupie 101.

Carol also cleared up the most important detail -- the panties were NOT used, but she admits she was holding on to them in her bra. "I definitely had boob sweat on the panties."

For the record ... Carol says Chris hasn't contacted her. Yet.

The "Girls Gone Wild" honcho tells TMZ ... he rents a Sea Lion named "Litibu" once a week from Vallarta Adventures to hang out with him and his GF Abbey Wilson at his casa near Puerta Vallarta.

It's pretty incredible ... he says the 11-year-old mammal is so well trained he arrives via boat ... swims up to the beach ... walks to Joe's backyard ... and then dives straight into his pool.

Not only that, Joe says Litibu has a slew of tricks up his blubber ... he can do handstands, give kisses, stand and clap, roar on command and lets Joe and Abbey take rides on his back in the pool.

Kim Kardashian's breasts have swelled to a record-sized G-CUP following her pregnancy -- and sources close to the reality star tell TMZ, she LOVES whipping out her massive new mammaries for baby-suckling time.

Sources tell us, Kim's taking to motherhood like a newborn to a nipple -- in fact, she actively looks forward to her "feedings" with baby North West ... EVEN CHANGING DIRTY DIAPERS!!! As one source put it, "She does it all."

It's pretty crazy ... considering how vocal Kim's been about motherly duties in the past. Back in 2010, she got into hot water for criticizing a mom for breastfeeding at a restaurant.

EWW Im at lunch,the woman at the table next 2 me is breast feeding her baby w no coverup then puts baby on the table and changes her diaper

— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) June 19, 2010

As for Kanye, we're told he's a natural dad -- "No one has ever seen him like this."

Now for another famous G-cup ...

Beyonce shaking it on stage ... the L.A. Sparks ... the B.E.T awards ... all events Grammy Crasher Vitalii Sediuk won't be seeing in L.A. anytime soon -- because he's been BANNED from L.A. LIVE.

Vitalii -- the prankster who ruined Adele's big moment when he ran on stage during the Grammy Awards this year -- faced up to 6 months in jail for his crime. But according to court docs, he copped a plea deal with prosecutors on June 20th and won't spend a day behind bars.

Instead Vitalii was sentenced to 3 years probation AND banned from L.A. Live -- the entertainment complex where the Grammys (and many other glorious events) are held.

And in case you forgot ... this is the same guy who tried to kiss Will Smith on the red carpet in Moscow and gave Madonna a bouquet of hydrangeas -- her "most loathed" flower.

All we can say is, Madison Square Garden: watch your back.

Talk about fearless ... contestants on "Naked and Afraid" saw how a snake nearly killed one of the TV show's producers -- and still refused to back out of the competition.

Sources connected to the Discovery show tell TMZ the players were warned after Steve Rankin was bitten by a poisonous fer-de-lance snake while location scouting in Costa Rica. Rankin barely survived, and as we previously reported ... the flesh rotted right off his foot.

We're told honchos warned players they could face the same fate as Rankin, and gave them the option to quit the show ... which drops naked contestants into the wild and watches them survive.

No one backed down from the potentially deadly danger.

Warning: You can see that danger HERE (if you dare).

Paula Deen has been 86'd from the Food Network for confessing during a deposition that she used the N-word in 1986. So we gotta ask ...

5:10 PM -- The plane just took off with Bieber inside. We don't know if the monkey made it in time.

Justin Bieber has pissed off a private jet company ... because his plane has been grounded in Miami for 8 hours, while Justin searches for his pet monkey ... TMZ has learned.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... Justin rented a private jet to take him from Miami to Burbank. The plane was supposed to take off at 11 AM ET, but the Biebs called to say he was running late.

Hours passed ... and he showed up at around 3 PM. But we're told he wasn't ready to smoke out of Miami because he needed to pick up his monkey from West Palm Beach.

Four more hours passed, and the monkey hasn't surfaced at the airport. We're told Bieber actually chartered a helicopter to bypass street traffic and retrieve the primate.

We're told Bieber has 30 minutes left at the time of this post ... before the pilot pulls the plug because he's about to run out of duty time.

5:10 PM PT -- Paula has just released a statement, thanking the Food Network for 11 "great years." She said, "Because of the gift the Food Network gave me, I've had the pleasure of being allowed into so many homes across the country."

Paula Deen's goose has been cooked at the Food Network. Officials tell TMZ they are not renewing her contract, which expires at the end of this month.

Paula apparently was done in for her comments during a deposition in a civil lawsuit, in which she freely admitted to using the N-word in the past.

Deen issued an apology this morning that bordered on ridiculous -- it was heavily edited and frankly insincere.

She issued a second apology shortly before the Food Network said it would not renew her contract.

Paula Deen must have realized how insincere her first video apology was when she posted it several hours ago ... because she's decided to do it again, and this one is much better.

Paula says in the new video she wanted to speak from her heart -- something she clearly didn't do in her first, heavily-edited and publicist-vetted disaster.

This time she speaks in one take, saying she doesn't discriminate against African Americans, Jews or gays. It's not polished, but it seems way more authentic.

You be the judge.

1:00 PM PT -- FYI, Paula just yanked the video apology from her YouTube channel.

Paula Deen continues to step in it, and we know part of the problem is that her team doesn't have a clue.

She just issued a weird, video apology with an edit after almost every sentence. It's as if some publicist is feeding her lines that she has trouble delivering.

Rather than explaining why she used the N-word in the past -- something she might have been able to explain given her background -- she's just begging for forgiveness. It feels like it's coming from a bunch of suits, and not from her heart. Huge miss.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West decided nothing would go between their new daughter North West, because the kid doesn't have a middle name ... this according to the birth certificate obtained by TMZ.

The birth certificate was signed only by Kim and gives the time of birth 5:34 AM June 15th. It was filed in L.A. County.

We broke the story -- the baby was born at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in West Hollywood. The baby was born 5 weeks early and weighed in just shy of 5 lbs.

It's the boobie battle you've all been waiting for -- 22-year-old "Teen Mom" porn star Farrah Abraham (with her brand new D cups) and the legendary Tanning Mom (with her genuine leather speed bags).

It's actually a hilarious coincidence ... Farrah and 45-year-old Patricia Krentcil both posed for topless photo shoots on the beaches of Malibu Thursday.

Malibu beaches are a hot spot for celeb photo shoots, so it's not that surprising they showed up around the same place -- but it's incredible they BOTH decided to drop their tops.

Forget Wyclef Jean ... Amanda Bynes is hashing out a record deal with rapper Waka Flocka Flame for her upcoming hip hop album -- and Waka tells TMZ, it's going to be legendary.

Waka -- who runs Brick Squad Monopoly records -- tells us, the deal hasn't been signed yet but it's basically in the bag ... in fact, he's already hired people to start penning Amanda's songs.

Waka says he and Amanda FaceTime at least once a week and text every day -- mostly about her rap career ... but also about motivational stuff, like "keeping her head up from the haters."

Waka tells us the album will be called "Shots" -- adding, "It's going to be crazy hot." So far, there's no projected release date.

As for whether Waka thinks there's something a little off about Amanda ... he said, "Not at all. She has it all together to me. She is cool as hell and ready for the rap world. I think she is going to kill the game."

And just to make sure it's a success ... Waka says he'll be featured on several of Amanda's songs as well.

Justin Bieber just posted a video on Instagram ... and let's just say he appears a bit elevated.

Bieber -- with his shirt off and a chain around his neck -- is trying to deliver a message to his fans about his excitement over the new ability to post video on Instagram ... but can't get through 3 words without cracking up.

Now, we're no weed experts ... (ok, some of us are) ... but it seems like Bieber's next move was probably a munchie run.

Miley Cyrus' new "We Can't Stop" music video features twerking, girl-on-girl, girl-on-doll, furries -- y'know standard freak show stuff ... and the official death knell for her old Disney persona.

Oh, and it's also ... awesome!

Taylor Lautner doesn't need no stinking stunt man -- the shredded "Twilight" star can do it all himself ... including running up a tree trunk into a sick backflip. You gotta see it!

Oh, and for the 'Team Edward' dorks ... there's also a total fail on one stunt.