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Give Shaun Weiss this -- he's got a helluva sense of humor. Check out how the guy who played Goldberg in "The Mighty Ducks" announced checking into rehab.

Shaun posted an emotional but also hilarious message Tuesday on Facebook announcing he's checked into a long-term rehab center. TMZ broke the story ... Shaun was busted earlier this month for public intoxication. Shaun spent a few hours in the drunk tank and, though he wasn't cited, his arrest did produce this incredibly sad mug shot that had his fans feeling bummed for him.

Shaun wrote, "At this time, in an effort to break free from the self destructive patterns of behavior and drug abuse that have landed me at rock bottom, (to be real... BELOW rock bottom. Even rock bottom is like 'holy sh!t, how'd you get all the way down there?') I have checked in to a well reguarded, long term rehabilitation center. I have surrendered to the reality that without immediate treatment my life is in eminant danger. My spirit was until recently depleted, weak and shrouded by darkness has been renewedby the overwhelming out-pouring of love and support from fans of my early work as an actor."

P.K. Subban learned the hard way Tuesday the turf ain't the ice ... 'cause the hockey superstar just got DUSTED by Terrell Owens in a sprint!!

It all went down at UCLA's track in Drake Stadium ... where the two gym rats decided to get a workout in.

At some point ... the stretching and hurdling moves turned toward sprinting -- and that's when the 44-year-old T.O. had to show the 29-year-old Subban the jets.

Owens jumps out to a big lead ... then cruises to the finish line -- leaving Subban with nothing left to say other than, "#Subbanator vs #halloffamer .... Hall of Fame always wins!"

Owens has been angling for a football comeback for a while now -- and after eating Owens' dust ... count Subban in as a believer.

3:20 PM PT -- Stormy Daniels responded to the news in a statement to NBC, where she said she and her lawyer, Avenatti, "are vindicated and we look forward to the apologies from the people who claimed we were wrong."

Donald Trump's former lawyer has just pled guilty to a plethora of federal tax and campaign finance crimes ... so get ready for a tweetstorm from the Prez for the ages.

Michael Cohen pled guilty to 8 counts, including 5 counts of tax fraud and 2 campaign finance violations. He's also admitted to making false statements and violating federal law in relation to the notorious $130k "hush money" deal he struck with porn star Stormy Daniels in order to keep her quiet about her alleged tryst with Trump ... and says it was at the direction of Trump.

He also reportedly admits he acted for the purpose of influencing the election.

Cohen's plea deal could reportedly include a sentence of 5 years ... sentencing is set for December. He could have faced up to 65 years behind bars.

His guilty plea reportedly also covers charges related to $20 mil in loans he obtained for his family's taxi companies.

As you'll recall, the months-long investigation of Cohen was referred to NY's Southern District by special counsel Robert Mueller ... and kicked into full gear after an April FBI raid on Cohen's office, hotel room and home.

Cohen had been Trump's lawyer and a loyal member of his inner circle for over a decade, but began to show signs of breaking with his former boss before audio tapes of his convos with Trump surfaced last month.

One such tape includes the 2 discussing paying off former Playboy model Karen McDougal in order to also keep her quiet about an alleged affair with Trump ... which resulted in the Prez tweeting that it was "perhaps illegal" for a lawyer to record a client.

Stormy Daniels' lawyer, Michael Avenatti, predicted to us that Cohen would release more Trump tapes soon ... or turn over more evidence to help his cause and "spank" the President.

12:00 PM PT -- TMZ Sports spoke with Corey, who says he's determined to clear his name with the Beer Mile community and work on his chugging to make sure he never gets disqualified again.

The dude who crushed a Beer Mile run in less than four and a half minutes had his time officially disqualified ... 'cause he left too much foam in his bottles.

For real.

The poor guy's name is Corey Bellemore ... and after recording a new world-record time of 4:24 in this month's Beer Mile World Classic -- he was DQ'd 'cause he didn't chug his beers all the way.

FYI ... the Beer Mile is a race where competitors slam a 12-ounce beer at the beginning of every quarter mile.

Officials ruled Bellemore left roughly 4.5 ounces in his bottles after chugging ... which is about a sip over the 4-ounce limit.

Corey took the L in stride ... tweeting after the ruling, "Never rush through life better luck next time!"

Don't feel too bad for the guy ... his 2017 Beer Mile World Classic time of 4:33 still stands as the world record.

Ever seen a person giddy to be smashed to the ground by a 6-foot-3, 265-pound man??

Well, now you have ... 'cause Andrew Luck says he was downright HAPPY to have been destroyed by Terrell Suggs during the Ravens-Colts tilt Monday night.

"I told Anthony [Castonzo] on the sideline, I said, 'Man, it was sort of fun to get hit by Suggs right there!'" Luck said.

The Indianapolis QB hasn't gone crazy ... he's just been out for the past year nursing a shoulder injury -- and when he came up from the hard tackle and felt no pain, it was a happy moment.

"I was like, 'Oh, I landed on my right elbow.' It was sort of reminiscent of how I injured my shoulder a couple years ago. And, I didn't feel anything."

"I didn't give it a second thought. So, I think that's actually a big deal for me."

It was just about the only happy moment for Luck against Baltimore ... he ended the night just 6-for-13 with a brutal interception.

Baker Mayfield is not only the Browns' best backup QB ... he's clearly the team's best shirtless model too -- 'cause dude is selling underwear now, and he's killin' it!!

The Cleveland rookie announced his partnership with undie company PSD Underwear on Tuesday ... and he did it topless -- with a Tiger AND a Rolls-Royce.

The abs were out ... the underwear was exposed. It was great.

But ... what exactly are the under garments of Baker's choice?? Per the company, they're 88% polyester and 12% spandex with a "breathable athletic feel."

Plus ... they not only come with his Browns' No. 6 embroidered on them -- they also feature a "contoured sealed pouch."

Which ... if you're unfamiliar -- is VERY important for the ex-Oklahoma QB.

Trevor Bauer is much less pissed off at ESPN today ... 'cause it turns out the company DIDN'T actually air a tweet that he says made him look like a "lunatic" after all.

ICYMI ... the Indians superstar is famous for being a baseball brainiac -- and when he broke his leg last week, a reporter had some fun at Trevor's expense with the diagnosis news.

"Trevor Bauer says that the doctors' timeline for his return is based on outdated mainstream medicine and he's begun a course of blood transfusions and colloidal silver to rid his body of CIA nanites," Ringer staff writer Michael Baumann tweeted.

"He anticipates missing two starts, three tops."

Bauer initially found the tweet hilarious ... but when he believed MLB Network and ESPN ran with the tweet as fact -- he was not happy.

"Presenting it as fact on tv, thus painting me as some lunatic that’s off his rocker, is not ok at all," Bauer tweeted.

He continued in another tweet: "Hey @MLBNetwork and @espn I would like public statements on social media and on your networks clarifying that the information you wrongly reported as fact earlier regarding my recovery timetable and process is false and not a quote from me. The report is damaging and absurd."

Turns out ... ESPN didn't actually run the tweet -- which caused Trevor to issue a 35-second apology video Monday evening.

"It appears the information I was given and what I believed to have seen was wrong, and ESPN never aired the fake tweet."

Chicago White Sox manager Rick Renteria was transported to a hospital in Minnesota on Monday after falling ill at Target Stadium ... but he appears to be okay.

Renteria and the Sox were gearing up to play the Twins on Monday when Rick began to feel lightheaded, according to the AP.

The team didn't mess around -- and the 56-year-old was transported to Hennepin County Medical Center for treatment.

The good news ... the team told the AP preliminary test results are good and he doesn't appear to be in danger.

In the meantime, Joe McEwing will take over for Renteria.

The L.A. County Sheriff's Dept. has done an about-face and now says it will investigate allegations by a man that he was sexually assaulted by Asia Argento when he was 17 years old.

Several Sheriff's officials told TMZ Monday morning the department would ONLY investigate if the alleged victim -- now 22-year-old Jimmy Bennett -- came forward and filed a complaint. One official now tells us the media attention on the case has made them do an about-face.

Bennett claims when he was 17, Argento -- who became one of the first women in the #MeToo movement to accuse Harvey Weinstein of rape -- plied him with alcohol, performed oral sex on him and then got on top of him and had intercourse ... this according to documents obtained by the New York Times.

Well, Jon Gruden hates Tom Cruise movies.

The Oakland Raiders coach was asked about his reported $100 million deal with the team -- and while trying to explain his high salary ... he randomly took a shot at Tom Cruise.

Here's the quote from his interview with Peter King ...

"I’m not making $100 million, just so you know. Well, I never thought Tom Cruise, never thought his movies were any good but he’s making plenty of money."

Weird and random Tom Cruise shot -- but alas, there's more.

"There’s a lot of things that I don’t understand. No disrespect to Tom Cruise. I’m sure he’s a great actor. But you know what? You just go about your life as hard as you can. You try to find something you love and you do the best you can at it."

No word on why Jon dragged Tom Cruise into the conversation -- maybe he finally got around to seeing "Rock of Ages" or "The Mummy" ... both trash.

But what Gruden's clearly forgetting in his weird Tom Cruise rant is "Top Gun" and "Jerry Maguire" and "Jack Reacher" (the first one) was actually pretty solid.

And several people in this office are adamant the new 'Mission Impossible' movie was "f**king awesome" and they're actually mad at Gruden for throwing shade.

By the way, Jon Gruden had a cameo in "DRAFT DAY" -- THE WORST FOOTBALL MOVIE EVER MADE!!!

Question: What's black and white and red all over?

Answer: Ed Sheeran and Don McLean performing 'Vincent' together. And it's beautiful.

The two got together to perform the song as part of a fundraiser in the Pacific Palisades for UCLA Health and Teen Cancer America ... but before they hit the stage, they got together for a private rehearsal.

Sheeran brought the guitar -- and his finest red cargo shorts -- and strummed away while he and Don took turns with the verses.

72-year-old McLean was clearly impressed with his 27-year-old duet partner -- saying, "Ed is a quick study...turned out great"

Rest easy, Redskins fans ... a living god is about to fix your star running back.

Derrius Guice ripped up his knee in Washington's first preseason game earlier this month ... and now, he's turning to legendary doc James Andrews to sew his ACL back together.

In case you're unfamiliar ... James is a magician with a scalpel -- having fixed just about every injured star athlete known to man (including John Cena when he had that NASTY elbow injury in 2013).

Did you know ... Michael Phelps got a $1,000,000 bonus check for racking up 8 gold medals at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing???

Neither did we ... but it's true -- and what's even cooler is the way Phelps spent the money.

"10 years ago after winning 8 golds in Beijing I received a million dollar bonus," Phelps said on Instagram.

"There was one thing and one thing only that I wanted to do with that bonus. I started the [Michael Phelps Foundation]."

Phelps says the foundation was initially created to teach the importance of water safety and how to live healthy and active lifestyles.

But since then, Phelps has dealt with substance abuse and mental health issues -- and says he's drawing from his own experience to help others.

"Since becoming aware of the importance of my own mental health we have worked hard to add a mental health awareness component. I’m incredibly proud of how far my foundation has come, but there’s still more work to be done!!!"

Matt Barnes just hit Mario Chalmers with an epic diss ... telling the ex-Miami Heat star he straight-up has MOOBS!!

It all went down in the comments section of Chalmers' latest IG post -- an innocent pic of a shirtless Mario announcing he's about to have a baby with his girlfriend, Paijey Baby. She's 7 and a half months preggo!

Barnes -- who played with Mario in Memphis in the 2015-16 season -- was one of the first to see it ... and decided to celebrate with a friendly body shaming zing.

"Congrats bro! I see you carrying the milk for her," the ex-NBA star wrote.

Barnes went on to hit Mario with a "jk" and some playful emojis.

FYI ... Mario's been steadily taking Ls of this nature throughout his career -- with even Barack Obama getting in on the act at the White House in 2014!!

IndyCar driver Robert Wickens was just taken to a hospital by helicopter after a horrifying crash he was involved in on the track ... which sent him and his vehicle spiraling.

Wickens was racing Sunday at Pocono Raceway in Pennsylvania for the ABC Supply 500 Series when he tried passing another driver, Ryan Hunter-Reay, on lap 6 ... but bumped him instead, and got launched into the air and against the side fence in a terrifying collision.

According to IndyCar Series' official Twitter account, Wickens was awake and alert as he was being transported to nearby Lehigh Valley Hospital-Cedar Crest. At least 4 other drivers involved in the wreck were reportedly being treated on the scene as well.

The rest of the race is currently delayed, but it's expected to resume as soon as debris is cleared from the track.

At least 14 Backstreet Boys fans waiting for their show to begin were injured when nasty weather caused a structure to collapse ... according to various reports.

The outdoor pavilion concertgoers at the WinStar World Casino and Resort in Thackerville, Oklahoma venue were treated by emergency personnel and taken to local hospitals.

Reports say they were waiting in a large tent area when the severe weather caused the awning to fall on top of them.

BB members Kevin Richardson and Nick Carter tweeted about the ordeal, saying emergency crews were helping their fans ... and Kevin just informed everyone the show's been canceled.

Carter echoed the "safety first" sentiment earlier, as well.

Footage of the aftermath shows several people were hurt, but as far as we know ... there have fortunately been no deaths as a result.