Humor

Chanel West Coast is happy to TALK about dropping a deuce at Coachella ... as long as it's only talk because she has some very strict rules about the music fest and porta-potties.

We got the "Ridiculousness" star right after she did some pre 'chella prep at a tanning salon, and she spoke openly -- maybe too much -- about her phobia.

Check out CWC's revelation ... and a little explanation for her now infamous "Don't You Know Who I Am" incident last year at Coachella.

Sen. Ted Cruz could have taken a big bite out of Donald Trump's lead when we lobbed him a question about his favorite subject ... soup!

Ted's made no secret about his love for Campbell's soup, so our photog asked what's his favorite kind. Mind you, he's trailing Trump and John Kasich in NY, where Tuesday's key primary is being held.

Check out the video ... apparently, the senator thought he was in Dixieland, instead of Yankeeland. Our photog gave him what would've been the right answer to suck up to NYC voters.

Lance Bass and Joey Fatone jumped ship for a night ... doing a more than respectable rendition of a Backstreet Boys song.

Lance is the featured performer on a Caribbean cruise. With Joey in tow they hosted some karaoke and broke into "I Want It That Way."

The brothers who convinced their half-sedated little sister the zombie apocalypse was upon them ... are getting their shot to make it in Hollywood.

Cabot Phillips, the main prankster behind the viral faux zombie attack video, tells us that since the video went viral they've gotten offers from producers to do reality shows. He says one of them even had a test shoot planned for the fam.

If you missed it, Cabot sprang the zombie plot on his sister, Millicent, right after she got her wisdom teeth pulled. It's brilliantly hysterical.

Even though Millicent's reaction was painfully real ... Cabot says she's getting offers from talent agents who want to rep her as an actress. He says she's more interested in writing comedy, but adds they'd all love cameos on "The Walking Dead" -- which was the inspiration for their prank.

Nothing says "18-year-old NBA millionaire pimp" like loaded potato skins ... just ask Kobe Bryant who took Tamar Braxton on a date to Friday's.

Braxton was dishing about her "sorta" date with Kobe on "The Real" (airs April 13th, check local listings) -- saying the two got dinner in Philly right after Mamba got drafted back in 1996 ... but the vibe was more friendly than freaky.

In the end, Braxton says the two ended up as "homies."

Moral of the story ... if Friday's is good enough for Kobe Bryant, it's good enough for you!

Miranda Kerr wants you to know something about her boyfriend ... he did not create a boob app.

This is a super fun clip ... our photog -- a scrawny Aussie -- eased into the conversation by talking muscles and quickly moved to the subject of boobs, which he says is the staple of Snapchat.

Miranda, who's dating Evan Spiegel, begged to differ, but our photog then raised the penis.

Kate Middleton's been fully exposed ... 'cause now the world knows her royal dogs bark just like her royal subjects' do.

The Duchess of Cambridge kicked off her shoes during a visit to the Gandhi Museum in Delhi with Prince William -- and lo and behold, Kate's feet do NOT get the royal treatment. There is zero evidence of any fancy pedicure or nail polish.

Sure, you'd expect her feet to be done up to the nines, but Kate clearly does things her own way.

So, there ya go ... a princess (duchess) is NOT always waited on hand and foot.

Harrison Ford was the unwitting victim of a police training session gone awry ... TMZ has learned.

Cops in Huntington Beach, CA tells us Ford's name was entered into their arrest records by a newly hired officer during data entry training. It's S.O.P. for officers to enter fake names and info while learning how to use the system -- but they're supposed to delete all entries after each training session.

We're told that didn't happen with Harrison ... so his "arrest" for corporal injury on his spouse was auto-populated into the real police blotter. It's since been removed.

HBPD wants to stress it was an honest mistake, and Ford was never in any trouble whatsoever.

Guess that's why they call it training.

Peyton Manning's new karaoke singing career just hit an unexpected snag ... 'cause one of the most famous names in R&B history says it would be a good idea if Manning stopped forever.

We got music legend Johnny Gill out in L.A. and showed him video of Peyton crooning in a Nashville bar earlier this week ... and let's put it this way ... Johnny was not impressed.

Gill knows good music ... he's been in the iconic group New Edition since 1987, and his solo album sold over 3 million copies and spawned a #1 hit.

He says none of that is EVER going to happen for Manning ... giving Peyton the age old send-off of "Don't quit your day job."

Sorry Johnny ... but he kinda already did.

Check out the clip.

Kris Humphries' sister, Kaela, had some serious fun with that Vera Wang couture bridesmaid dress she wore when Kim Kardashian married her bro -- and then trashed it!

We got photos of Kaela and her pal, Angela Kosteliz, rocking the old frock, which reportedly cost $10,000, during a fun girls night fueled by wine.

Angela tells us the pics were taken a couple years ago before Kaela moved from Minnesota to NYC. She invited friends over to help her pack, and they took turns posing in the dress.

During the evening they tore strands of tulle off the gown to make headbands. Big difference from the first time Kaela wore it -- next to Kourtney, Kylie, Khloe, and Kendall. We're gonna guess Kaela had way more fun with her GFs.

Angela says the dress ended up in a Goodwill donations pile.

Justin Theroux is the most dedicated celeb fan of Howard Stern -- that's the only reasonable explanation for the giant prosthetic face now hanging on his wall.

Theroux scored a lifecast of Stern Wack Packer, Beetlejuice ... from special effects artist Mike Marino of Prosthetic Renaissance. Marino says Justin was in his studio a couple weeks ago when he saw the mold and freaked out.

We knew JT was tight with Stern -- who spoke at his wedding to Jennifer Aniston -- but we didn't know it was this deep. Marino says Justin immediately recognized the Beet mold from 2004, when he first made it on the 'Stern Show.'

He says he brought it out of retirement, made a replica, painted it bronze and shipped it to Justin as a gift. Jennifer's gonna love it.

UFC bantamweight champ Dominick Cruz says Urijah Faber's chin looks like a butt -- so, we decided to see if he could seriously tell the difference in a game called, "Butt ... or Urijah Faber's Chin."

Cruz appeared on the "TMZ Sports" TV show (airs Friday night on FS1) -- and played the game ... and did surprisingly well!!

Here's a teaser clip -- but make sure to watch the WHOLE THING on the show tonight ... it's pretty hilarious.

George Lopez says he's NOT racist for only using white caddies when he golfs -- telling TMZ Sports, "How is it racist if it's a fact?"

Just last week, Lopez -- a huge golf fanatic -- told us when it comes to selecting caddies, "I use the whitest guy I can find."

Most people found it funny, some people called it racist.

So, when we got Lopez out at LAX Thursday -- he basically told his critics to stop being so damn sensitive.

Then he took a shot at Donald Trump and Trump's ancestors.

JCPenney is defending its "period skirt" to the max, touting it looks good any time of the month.

The chain is now responding to criticism that the design on the fabric looks like a woman bleeding out as she strolls down the street ... seemingly unaware she's attracting sharks.

The store responds, "We think it's a fab skirt for any time of the month. Period."

Now for what we think is the real story. Penney's new CEO, Marvin Ellison, has vowed to rebrand the struggling chain, making it more modern. He's already made strides, and you gotta believe someone in his brain trust mentioned the design would be slammed by angry women.

Here's the other side ... Ellison clearly knew the skirt would attract attention, so at least to us it seems like a clever plan from the get-go.

Ralphie May just got smacked in the wallet -- his upcoming concert has been canceled after audio surfaced of an old routine he did ripping Native Americans for being drunks.

The Sanford Center in Bemidji, MN tells TMZ it's pulling the plug on Ralphie's concert that was set for Saturday. Bemidji has a large Native American population, and we're told the show was yanked in direct response to the audio of a bit May did in 2007.

He's been getting blasted for saying things like, "F**k a bunch of Indians" ... and "dry up you bunch of alcoholics." Ralphie posted an apology Wednesday night, saying the audio is highly edited and omitted his punchline, which made it clear the rant was all a joke.

For folks in Bemidji ... we're told full refunds will be given, and the box office is throwing in a ticket to "Celtic Fire" Irish step dancing for your troubles.

Justin Bieber ate it onstage Wednesday night during his Kansas City concert, and the song that brought him down was pretty mellow.

Justin was jumping around singing "Sorry" when his ass met the hardwood.

The latest in a storied history of concert falls.