Humor

Don Lemon is kinda awesome ... seems the way he sees it, why do you need big Hollywood stars when he and others in his biz shine just as bright?

Don was stylin' in his tux, walking into the White House Correspondents' Dinner Saturday night at the Washington Hilton, when our photog asked about the absence of A-listers at the bash. Stars like Kim Kardashian, Morgan Freeman and Reese Witherspoon have all attended in recent years.

The CNN host doesn't hesitate ... you look in the mirror and then look around and that will do the trick.

Kathy Hilton does NOT appreciate A-list actresses allegedly snubbing her or fans --- even if it is Amy Adams ... or Isla Fisher ... or whoever just walked by.

We got the Hilton family Saturday night at Craig's where they were talking about a possible wedding between Paris Hilton and BF Chris Zylka ... when all of a sudden a female star walked by and hijacked the moment with paps.

Our camera guy wrongly ID'd the celeb -- it was actually Amy, not Isla. Either way ... Kathy isn't a fan. As far as we can tell, Kathy says the star wouldn't take a pic inside the restaurant with a fan, and on top of that didn't thank Ms. Hilton for a compliment about her dress.

Oprah was ready and willing to fork over $10 if a kid knew her name, but let's just say ... she still has the money.

O's company took part in Thursday's Take Your Kid to Work Day. One OWN employee's child came face-to-face with the TV legend, and she made a bet: say my name and you get the cash.

You gotta see it! The kid stands silent ... no clue who dad's boss is. Awkward? For Dad?

"The Simpsons" envision Ivanka Trump as a Supreme Court Justice, and Sean Spicer killing himself ... at least in the show's version of Donald Trump's first 100 days in office.

The spoof airs on Sunday's episode, and even the staunchest Trump haters would have to say it's super dark -- Spicer hanging himself in the White House Press Room, Ruth Bader Ginsburg getting 86'd for Ivanka, while hawking robes and the prez himself weeping over ... well, you gotta watch.

Of course, Trump's made no secret of his love for FOX News. Gotta wonder if he'll be watching the mother ship Sunday night.

Ya win some, ya lose some ...

Here's Neymar -- one of the greatest soccer players on the planet -- proving even juggling masters screw up every now and then.

Neymar has a reputation of being an excellent ball-handler ... but he biffed it while trying to bust out a trick Thursday morning.

Go ahead, laugh ... he's still wayyyy better than you.

It was stank on a plane for the Toronto Raptors ... when 7-foot center Jonas Valanciunas blew a fart on the team jet and nearly killed all of his teammates.

P.J. Tucker captured the aftermath (asstermath) on video -- showing stars like Demar DeRozan, Kyle Lowry and others struggling to breathe.

But the funniest reaction is Serge Ibaka -- who looks genuinely pissed about the ass gas at 30,000 feet.

P.J. says the fart was so bad the team needs to burn the seat.

#BREAKING ... Doris Roberts died more than a year ago, but it seems some people are just now hearing the news ... and sending SUPER belated condolences.

For some reason ... Doris was trending online Wednesday, and a lot of folks seemed to just now realize the actress had passed away ... linking back to TMZ's exclusive story as evidence.

Doris' 1-year death anniversary was actually last Monday ... so we're not too sure how to explain the delayed reactions. Either these well-wishers have been living under a rock all this time, or ... no, that's the only explanation.

As we reported ... Doris died from a massive stroke at her home in L.A. She'd been suffering from hypertension for years.

Soooo ... RIP, Doris. Again ... still.

Al Pacino is feeling great at 77, but apparently his hot girlfriend's boob feels even better.

Al was down in Mexico Tuesday celebrating his birthday with gf Lucila Sola ... who's just about 40 years younger than Al. Looks like he's totally tuned in to her.

During a stroll down the beach, Al snuck in a feel -- or maybe he was trying to regain his balance. Hard to say.

Whatever the case ... Al looks great, Lucila does too. Feliz cumpleaños, bud!

Ted Cruz has the perfect solution on how to pay for Donald Trump's border wall ... pass a law to use El Chapo's billions and loot from other lords to underwrite construction.

The Texas senator introduced a new bill Tuesday called the Ensuring Lawful Collection of Hidden Assets to Provide Order Act -- aka the EL CHAPO Act ... which does just that.

The bill would allow the U.S. to use all cash forfeited by drug lords to pay for the wall and border security.

According to Ted ... the U.S. is already gunning for more than $14 billion in drug money and other profits that the Mexican drug lords collected, and Cruz says that will go a long way toward the estimated $20 plus billion in construction costs.

The government is on the verge of shutting down this week, in part because of funding for the border wall project. Looks like Ted's trying to get creative with a solution.

Matt Goggin wants justice for his broken golf clubs -- he's just afraid to demand it from United Airlines for fear of getting manhandled a la Dr. David Dao.

The Australian pro golfer's pissed off about 3 of his clubs getting snapped at the head. As he put it ... it's the first time in more than 20 years his gear got destroyed in flight.

Naturally, Goggin was looking to give someone an earful -- if only he had flown a different airline. He tweeted, "I was going to complain but I must admit I'm a little intimidated by @united."

He's obviously referring to the infamous video of Dao getting jacked up.

Lucky for Matt, TaylorMade Golf responded and promised to replace the clubs. As for United? Maybe they've just got bigger fish to fry.

"Silicon Valley" star Amanda Crew got an eyeful of some guy's junk when she checked her text messages ... but her cool chick reaction made his day.

Amanda says the strange schlong came in the middle of a string of texts from a guy who thought he was texting someone named Sarah. He started, "Hey sexy girl. Can't wait to see you again."

Then came the pecker shot. Amanda let him down easily, and then posted the full exchange. She was nice enough to remove his phallus though.

The lesson: beware wrong numbers while sexting. Ya probably won't be as lucky as this guy.

It's the question everyone who loves Sidney Deane wants to know -- will Wesley Snipes give his blessing for the "White Men Can't Jump" remake????

Snipes knew all about the project when we spotted him out in L.A. -- and cracked a bunch of jokes about the guy expected to star in the flick, Blake Griffin.

He even pondered if Griffin would play the black guy or the white guy in the movie ... and gave a pretty hilarious idea about it.

As we previously reported, Hollywood power player Kenya Barris -- producer of "Black-ish" -- is spearheading the project WITH Griffin and told us they are dead serious about making it happen.

Check out the clip of Wesley and don't just listen ... HEAR IT!!!

Bill Clinton's got a new bug on the lawn of the Clinton Center ... and a new joke for Donald Trump too.

Bill posed with a big ole grasshopper recently installed on the premises in Little Rock. He tweeted ... "BREAKING: We just learned that the @ClintonCenter has been bugged."

He was clearly taking a jab at Trump's claim Obama had Trump Tower wiretapped during the 2016 election.

BTW ... the critter Bill's posing with is part of the Clinton Center's Xtreme BUGS exhibit, which opened Saturday in honor of Earth Day.

Prince William might be royalty, but he's not above a good squirt in the face ... especially when he's on the front lines of a marathon handing out H2O.

William and Kate were at the London Marathon Sunday, being good citizens and handing out water to runners -- and this is the thanks they got.

At least the unknown practical joker had the decency to avoid the Duchess's mug.

We're guessing Will was a good sport about it. He's been known to be a happy-go-lucky future king from time to time.

Kevin Hart wants Prince's new music to be released to the public, but he's also got a theory -- a short, sweet one -- on why it's being blocked.

We got Kevin Saturday heading into Tao in L.A. and caught him up on the Prince news ... that the new album was pulled after his estate got a restraining order against the producer of the unreleased tracks.

He makes no bones about whether it should eventually be released -- but check out what he thinks is behind the legal battle in the first place.

Fluffy to Buffy? Gabriel Iglesias says that's the plan, and even though he's boxing to get it done ... do NOT call him the Mexican Butterbean!

We caught up with the comedian Friday at LAX, where he gave us a weight loss update. Remember, Fluffy canceled a few tour dates and rearranged some others to focus on his health. He took up boxing and says he's already had double digit success.

Gabriel flexed his new muscle for us, dropped a few jokes about his fitness regimen ... but also had a message for anyone else struggling with demons.

Oh, and since he brought him up -- take us out, Butterbean!