Claudia Jordan wants to make two things clear: Her dislike of Nene Leakes is LEGIT ... and her pleasure point is doing just fine.

Claudia and Nene engaged in an epic war of words during the last "Real Housewives of Atlanta" -- when Nene accused Claudia of sleeping with so many men ... her clitoris had bailed on her. Whatever that means.

But CJ set the record straight in NYC Monday night with a gynecological update (based on her last shower) -- and took a few new shots at Nene for her lack of clever insults.

She even suggests ... it might be time for the reigning queen of 'RHOA' to move on.

Ooohh, yes she did!

Terrell Owens got the boot from "Celebrity Apprentice" last night ... but he didn't get the wrath of The Donald -- he got one of the nicest sackings in the history of the show.

T.O. -- along with Johnny Damon and Ian Ziering -- were called into the boardroom after losing a fundraiser in which the gang had to sell wedding dresses.

But Owens didn't go nuts when Ian called him out for raising the least amount of money -- instead, T.O. owned up to the failure and essentially called on Trump to give him the axe.

Teresa Giudice may have just had a reversal of fortune, because we've learned Bravo is seriously considering shelving "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" until Teresa gets sprung ... they think she's THAT important to the success of the show.

Our sources say Bravo execs have been holding meetings and they're "strongly leaning" in the direction of putting the show on ice, because without Teresa it's boring. Bravo is worried a bad season could tank the show, and it's just safer to wait.

This is not sitting well with the rest of the cast. Bruised egos aside, the women are pissed at the prospect of not pulling in a paycheck for more than a year. She's serving 15 months.

Teresa, who has a conflict with virtually every other "housewife" on the show, can almost certainly use this turn of events to her financial advantage. It's pretty basic ... the more the network needs you, the more you make.

Uncle Poodle is lucky to be alive after a New Year's Day health scare ... and no one cared.

Poodle tells TMZ he woke up with a dangerously elevated heart rate ... it felt like his heart was pounding out of his chest.

Docs put him under and used paddles to shock his heart back into rhythm.

The "Honey Boo Boo" clan never showed up ... not a single one of them. Poodle's bro, Sugar Bear, texted him a few times but otherwise it was radio silence. Not even a damn flower.

Poodle says he specifically texted Mama June but she clearly was not on his "get well soon" list.

Here's the bigger problem. Poodle was laid up in a hospital bed for a week, and the $150K bill is all his ... no health insurance.

"Deadliest Catch" star Elliott Neese isn't happy with his latest catch -- the salty captain just caught a stiff fine for hauling in undersized crabs.

We found out Neese was busted back in November at Dutch Harbor after Alaskan officials sampled his ship's cargo -- highly valuable red king crab -- and pulled 13 undersized "bugs." That's a rookie mistake and huge no-no, especially when you catch professionally on TV.

Elliott pled guilty and the fine was slashed from $6,000 to $3K.

Teresa Giudice doesn't have access to MAC products, but a company has jerry-rigged a Sephora-like experience that will keep her fresh and young-ish.

PRIV -- an app that sends a beauty expert straight to your door -- sent Teresa a letter offering beauty hacks for pretty women behind bars. The products generally have a primary purpose that is not cosmetic, but they work in a pinch. They include:

-- Vaseline, which acts as a lip exfoliant. PRIV advises that Teresa gently use a toothbrush to buff her lips with the lubricant, wipe with cool water and dab dry.

-- Advil Liqui-Gels. Break open the capsule. It's great for acne.

-- Protein Powder. Add a few scoops to the commissary conditioner. It boosts hair growth and locks in the moisture and shine.

-- Uncooked Oatmeal and Coffee Grinds. Great for the skin. Combine in equal parts and add just enough water to make a paste for a simple scrub. The oatmeal soothes while the coffee invigorates the skin.

But that's not all ... the inebriated reality star also says the people who are famous in 2015 don't deserve it -- because they don't put in the same kind of work he did.

"Bachelorette" stars Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray have called off their engagement ... their rep tells TMZ.

It's pretty weird and pretty sudden. Three days ago they were on the red carpet for the Season 19 premiere of "The Bachelor." Chris Harrison asked them, "So when's the wedding?" He said there were no immediate plans as Andi rubbed his back.

The former couple got engaged after appearing on the show last year.

Andi and Josh, through the rep, tell TMZ, "After several months of being engaged and working on our relationship, we have decided that it's best for both of us to go our separate ways. We are very sad that it has come to this point, but this is what's best for both of us individually."

Kylie Jenner is scoffing at reports she got a boob job ... she's saying her busty Instagram photo is just the work of a fancy bra.

Our Kardashians sources say Kylie bought a new Victoria's Secret bra -- called Bombshell -- which increases your bust by 2 cup sizes. It's the bra Taylor Swift wore at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

There are reports Bruce is upset over Kris allowing Kylie to get plastic surgery, but it's not true because she didn't go under the knife.

And, we're told Kris, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney thought the bra made Kylie look so good they ordered some for themselves.

Maddie Ziegler had no business dancing in a cage with Shia LaBeouf and the images get mighty close to pedophilia ... so claims "Dance Moms" stage mom Cathy Nesbitt-Stein.

Cathy, who calls the video "vile," says "I nearly threw up" watching Shia and Maddie writhing on the ground. She says it was so upsetting she couldn't watch the whole video.

Cathy calls out the 12-year-old's mom, saying, "I am flabbergasted Melissa would go to the levels she is going to get her daughter famous."

But "Dance Moms" chieftain Abby Lee Miller thinks the critics are stupid, not understanding Maddie and Shia were simply portraying werewolves and exhibited awesome athleticism and timing.

But Abby clearly knows the sexually provocative dance would get people talking ... she calls it "icing on the cake." So she can't really believe the people she's calling stupid are really stupid.

As for Abby, one diss was enough. She told us, "Oh, I don't think Sia has her phone number."

It's confirmed ... Kim Kardashian isn't a terrorist ... but TSA just got all up in that bitch just to make sure.

Kim's five-alarm booty must have tripped the sensors Wednesday at a LAX security checkpoint ... she got the royal pat down by a female TSA officer while an annoyed Kanye West looked on.

It's unclear how long it took or what prompted it, but one thing we know for sure ... nothing fell between the cracks in this search.

Jennifer Lopez just massacred Marc Anthony, Ben Affleck, Diddy and worst of all ... Casper Smart!

JLo had a little truth slip on "American Idol" Wednesday night ... letting fellow judges Harry Connick Jr. and Keith Urban in on a secret -- she's awesome, but the problem lies with the men she chooses.

We forgot poor Chris Judd. She thinks he sucks too.

Good news for Draya Michele ... sounds like she's gonna get her engagement ring!!!

Bad news for Draya Michele ... sounds like she's gonna have to be patient!

Draya's BF, Dallas Cowboys star Orlando Scandrick appeared on "Fox Sports Live Countdown" On FS1 (airing tonight at 9 PM PT, 12 ET) and was asked if he'll be hitting the diamond store anytime soon.

He blushed. He raved about Draya ... but he also bobbed and weaved like a champ.

Bottom line -- Scandrick says it'll all work itself out "in due time."

So ... congrats???

Jog your memory with the 9 "AI" champs whose careers hit a bum note.

Anna "Chickadee" Cardwell wants to pick up where her little sis left off, because we've learned she's shopping her very own reality show.

Chickadee tells us she's hired an agent who's pitching a family-centric show, but not Mama June's family. Chickadee wants the show to revolve around her small brood -- her, her hubby and their kid.

They think they can create compelling TV around their day-to-day life, which includes hunting, fishing and figuring out how two 20-year-olds can survive in a cold, cruel world.

As for June ... Chickadee says her mama can make occasional appearances along with the rest of the family, but they won't steer the ship.

And Chickadee says Mark McDaniel -- the man who sexually assaulted her when he was June's boyfriend -- will be fair game.