Hot Mamas

Refusing to age with even a hint of grace, 55-year-old Madonna clung desperately to her youth on stage last night with Miley Cyrus ... like a narcissistic mother trying to be hotter than her daughter.

It's just ... painful.

Madonna and Miley (who's 21 by the way) hit the stage together last night in cowboy get-ups for Miley's "MTV Unplugged" show in Hollywood ... but it felt more like a TLC special.

It's just the latest in Madonna's "I'm still hip" campaign -- in 2012, she named her tour "MDNA" an obvious play on MDMA ... and even once asked a crowd if they'd "seen Molly" ... a sad out-of-the-loop reference to the same drug.

Oh yeah, and a couple weeks ago she referred to her white son as "dis n**ga." Good lord.

Bad news for chubby chasers ... fat Jessica Simpson has been replaced ... with a hotter, skinnier version.

The 33-year-old mom strolled though JFK this week like it was 2005 all over again ... sporting a pair of tight leather pants that would even make Nick Lachey's head spin.

Despite her appearance, Jessica recently said she's currently 15 POUNDS HEAVIER than she was back in 2009 ... when she rocked the infamous mom jeans on stage at a concert.

Sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Tom Brady recently announced he would not be watching the Super Bowl ... now, it's pretty obvious why.

The New England Patriots QB ran away to the Bahamas this week with his supermodel wife to take his mind off the fact his team won't be competing for the Lombardi Trophy on Sunday.

The 36-year-old future Hall of Famer recently told a media outlet ... "Truthfully, I could care less about watching the game. That's pretty much how I feel."

Yeah, we get it.

42-year-old mother of four and cancer survivor Brooke Burke-Charvet knows how to live life to the fullest ... and tightest ... flaunting her ridiculously toned body at a gas station in Malibu today.

Just to recap: this "Dancing with the Stars" badass is 42, she has 4 kids (3 daughters and 1 son) and recently beat thyroid cancer following a scary diagnosis in 2012. And she can still look this good.

FYI, Brooke is currently married to former "Baywatch" star David Charvet.

Gotta love California.

Ciara is so protective of her unborn child ... she had a 'baby clause' written into her baby daddy's tour contract ... TMZ has learned.

Ciara -- who's engaged to rapper Future -- just announced her pregnancy, but people in Future's camp have known about it for months.

We're told Future's tour contract called for a "clean" backstage environment whenever Ciara traveled with him -- no smoking, healthy foods and nothing that could be detrimental to her pregnancy.

Our sources tell us Ciara is about 7 months pregnant. Turns out the tour contract may have been for naught -- she only attended two concerts because of horrible morning sickness.

This is Ciara's first child. Future has 3 other children ... with 3 different women.

A few times she's been around this track ... but she ain't no pregnant fat girl, she ain't no pregnant fat girl!

Gwen Stefani stepped out for lunch Friday in Beverly Hills at Mr. Chow ... and despite being several months pregnant -- with her third chld -- the singer still looked extremely do-able.

Hey baby, hey baby.

Kim Kardashian's great ass and post-preg toned body didn't come naturally ... and last night in Beverly Hills she told us her secrets to being a full-blown MILF.

Kim was leaving La Scala with Brittny Gastineau when we asked about the Instagram photos she and Blac Chyna posted hours before ... showing off their hot mom butts after a workout sesh.

A humble Kim had no problem telling us how she got super fit.

Hint: She didn't say photoshop.

Former "Teen Mom" star Maci Bookout had a momcation in Miami this week ... and with no kid to look after, the 22-year-old let everyone know it was BOOZIN' TIME!!!

Sportin' a shirt that read, "Off Duty," Bookout was seen smokin' ciggies, drinking beer and even swiggin' a champagne cocktail on the beach.

Bookout also posted video of a dancing session in her hotel ... good times.

Of course, Bookout has a 5-year-old son Bentley, but he was reportedly at home with his father Ryan Edwards.

This is it ... the last bikini objectification of the year ... and so, we proudly present -- KATIE HOLMES VS. JENNIFER ANISTON!!!!

Katie was out in Miami, flaunting her post-Tom Cruise physique in a hot pink 2-piece.

Jennifer is still in Cabo ... hangin' out with her man Justin Theroux.

Two hot bodies -- but there can only be one winner.

So, we gotta ask ...

Britney Spears admits ... she ain't exactly the sexual dynamo she used to be back in her "I'm a Slave for U" days ... but the 32-year-old says she still LOVES to get down.

Spears confessed her love of coitus during an interview for her documentary, "I Am Britney Jean" .... saying, "I love sex. I think sex is great ... but I feel a little different about it now that I’m older. Sometimes I feel like I’m 20 and then sometimes I feel like I’m 50."

It's an interesting comment, considering Britney has been very outspoken about wanting to tone down her sexuality. She recently said she was being pushed too far sexually in her music videos and in the "Britney Jean" doc, she implied her most sexually charged concert performances are behind her.

Still, Britney insists she's all about bangin' ... so, congrats David Lucado.

It's a lot for Julia Roberts to stomach ... questions that she's pregnant again.

Julia was with hubby Danny Moder at his parents' home in LA ... and something was poppin' out of her baggy sweater.

Check out the pics above ... and then the Clooney pic from early last month.

So we gotta ask ...

It's a battle of the brunettes!

Here's "Desperate Housewives" hottie Eva Longoria (38) smiling in a semi-sheer black dress (left) -- and "Spice Girls" singer and style icon Victoria Beckham (39) showing off her patented pout while wearing an equally black dress earlier this week (right).

"Teen Mom" star Amber Portwood is no longer a prisoner to fashion... especially prison fashions ... and TMZ has learned she's embracing her freedom by creating a whole new glam look for herself.

After serving 17 months behind bars ... Portwood has freed herself from her harsh, mugshot makeup ... and is now showing off a post-prison makeover that gives her a softer, more sophisticated look.

Sources close to Amber tell us ... she's treated herself to a whole new set of clothes ... and a stylish new haircut.

But the biggest change ... they say ... she no longer uses homemade, prison-style hairspray (which is often made from Jolly Rancher candies because it's sticky and provides excellent hold).

So, the good news -- she looks great.
The bad news -- her hair no longer tastes like grape.

Jennifer Lopez doesn’t always do her own stunts … but when she does, she makes leaping 20 feet off the hood of a car in 5 inch stilettos look easy … and TMZ has the footage.

It all went down in Downtown LA on Tuesday … sources tell us JLo’s filming a super secret national commercial campaign, set to air during the American Music Awards.

We’re told Jenny performed the stunt several times … she takes a running jump and flies through the air from the hood of one car to another … like she's straight outta the Matrix (Though she is wearing a harness, so it ain't like she's Jackie Chan).

Kim Kardashian went to a yard sale, and then nearly had one of her own -- tripping over a pile of old crap ... right in front of cameras.

Kim showed up for the sale in a parking lot in the San Fernando Valley ... and proceeded to step backward onto a pile of old stuff while talking to Jonathan Cheban.

Result ... Kim go boom! Although her fall was well cushioned.

Now, before you laugh too hysterically ... you should know the sale was organized by Kendall, Kylie, and Kris Jenner to support NoKidHungry.org -- a worthy and important cause.

Bootyful day for a stroll in Santa Barbara today -- Kim Kardashian and Kanye West ventured out this morning for a walk with baby daughter North West, and even though the sun was shining ... it was a full moon.

Nice break from L.A. court, where Kanye's lawyer Blair Berk pled not guilty on the rapper's behalf just a few hours ago in the photog-beating case.

For Kim, Kanye, and North West -- life is just a walk in the park.