Weird News

I think it went blech, blech, blech ... I think it went grrble, grrble, grrble ...

So, it wasn't exactly the Best Puke Ever ... but Louis Tomlinson from One Direction yacked his face off during a charity soccer match in Europe this weekend ... and it was all caught on tape.

The boy bander had just passed the ball off to a teammate, when Gabriel Agbonlahor -- a really good pro soccer player -- came flying in and knocked Louis on his ass.

Louis rolled around in pain clutching his leg (like soccer players do) ... but eventually got up and made his way to the sidelines.

But as soon as he got off the field, Tomlinson upchucked ... spewing all over the sidelines.

"Twilight" actor Bronson Pelletier has officially learned his lesson after drunkenly whipping out his junk and peeing in the middle of LAX -- finally completing his court-ordered alcohol ed classes ... TMZ has learned.

As we reported, Pelletier was sentenced to 44 classes following his public intoxication arrest for the pee incident in December 2012 (aka one of the greatest videos ever).

The classes -- designed to teach him the error of his drunk asshat ways -- were part of a plea deal Pelletier struck with prosecutors in exchange for no jail time.

Lady Gaga did her best Rorschach yesterday while strolling around NYC for Fashion Week in some weird face mask.

The 27-year old singer hit the streets of Greenwich Village Saturday in what looked like chic hospital scrubs, the mask and freakishly tall high heels.

It's unclear who she's holding hands with in the pic ... but he clearly has no shame walking around with someone wearing that.

Suck it, Lady Gaga -- TMZ has learned, 63-year-old Dr. Phil has his OWN giant mysterious egg-shaped pod thing ... except Phil's isn't some publicity stunt ... it's a $65,000 piece of technology that could help reverse the aging process.

It's called a CVAC, which stands for Cyclic Variations in Adaptive Conditioning, and there are only 16 in the world, used by all kinds of rich people and famous athletes.

According to CVAC, the chamber uses a computer-controlled valve and a vacuum pump to simulate high altitude and compress the muscles at rhythmic intervals, which purportedly improves circulation, boosts oxygen-rich blood cells, and even stimulates biogenesis and stem cell production. Translation: it could be the fountain of youth.

And we've learned Dr. Phil has one IN HIS HOUSE. We're told Phil purchased the contraption because he's very active and it helps with his shoulder and knee problems.

Not bad for $65,000 -- and with a reported net worth of $240 million, Dr. Phil can afford it.

Apparently Dennis Rodman didn't have enough good/il will with Kim Jong Un to get captured American missionary Kenneth Bae out of North Korea.

As Rodman bid farewell at Beijing's international airport Saturday morning, he confessed he didnt even raise the issue with the crazy prez because, "That's not my job to ask."

The Worm added, "Ask Obama about that. Ask Hillary Clinton, I don't give a sh*t."

For what it's worth -- Rodman said before his trip that he wasn't going to orchestrate a release for Bae.

Nevertheless, it won't enhance his prospect to become the next secretary of state.

Jui Jitsu master Rodrigo Gracie -- a member of the legendary Gracie MMA fighting family -- is begging the court for protection against an allegedly drunk and violent enemy ... TMZ has learned.

In one corner ... 6'0", 185-pound Gracie -- a 5th degree black belt and 4-time Pride fighting winner.

In the other corner ... 5'3", 135-pound woman named Tiffany -- who lives in an apartment above Gracie's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu studio in Torrance, CA.

Rodrigo filed a request for a restraining order against Tiffany last month, claiming she's been terrorizing his training center:

"[Tiffany has been] cursing, yelling, hitting my door, hitting the glass ... knocked a hole in my door ... comes drunk every time."

The judge sided with Rodrigo ... at least for now ... granting a temporary restraining order against Tiffany, requiring her to stop pestering Rodrigo and his studio.

The case is due back in court later this month -- when Rodrigo will likely ask the court for more permanent protection from his allegedly pain-in-the-ass neighbor.

Attempts to reach Tiffany were unsuccessful.

Ashley Tisdale is no David Caruso ... which is exactly why she was KICKED OUT of his SUV at LAX yesterday!!!!

The video is pretty good ... Ashley and her entourage arrived to LAX and got into the first black SUV they saw, thinking it was waiting there for them.

Problem is ... there was another actor being picked up from the airport ... a magnificent ginger who starred in such TV classics as "CSI: Miami" and "NYPD Blue" ... DAVID CARUSO!!

They got the boot ... eventually found their car (a smaller black towncar) ... and cleared the way for Caruso to be driven home in the manner he deserves.

YOU DON'T MESS WITH HORATIO'S RIDE!!

First Carrie Underwood ... now this -- Sofia Vergara ALSO fell down hard yesterday ... landing squarely on her ass during a lunch run in Beverly Hills.

Sofia was entering the back of a restaurant when she slipped, tripped and crumbled ... right in front of someone with a camera.

Don't worry ... Sofia appeared to be OK and went shopping after the fall.

Now, here's a picture of Sofia in happier times ...

American swimming legend Diana Nyad finally returned home to L.A. last night after her historic Cuba to Florida swim ... and told TMZ she got some new "homies" after the feat ... Barack and Michelle Obama.

The 64-year-old ultra-athlete received a hero's welcome when she arrived at LAX (balloons, kazoos, posters) ... and of course, we needed to know one thing -- how much did she pee out there??

Nyad's answer --well, let's just say she may have raised the water table in the Atlantic.

Diana also told us about how she stayed safe from possible shark attacks. Interesting stuff.

Bottom line -- Diana's a friggin' STUD.

Justin Bieber may -- or may not -- have pulled a major stoner faux pas in Calabasas yesterday ... 'cause someone inside the singer's van dumped BONG WATER on the side of the road.

MAJOR STONER NO NO!!!!!

It's unclear WHOSE HAND is attached to the bong ... but we do know it's Bieber's ride. He's been toolin' around L.A. in the pimped out Mercedes party van all week long.

Here's what we know ... the bong dumper is definitely NOT Lil Za or Lil Twist ... 'cause, well ... the hand is white. Duh.

We're also told the van was en route to Jim Henson Studios ... and later that day, JB snapped a photo of himself inside a record studio.

Still, since there are no shots of the bong dumper's face ... it's impossible to tell if the perp is Bieber ... or one of Bieber's white friends.

Actually, does Bieber even have white friends anymore? Hmmmmm ...

Here's something you probably didn't know: the stars of "Duck Dynasty" are hardcore Christian evangelists who frequently preach at their local church ... and TMZ has video of some of last weekend's sermons.

A ministry assistant at White's Ferry Road Church of Christ in West Monroe, LA tells TMZ, Phil Robertson and his family have been active at the church for more than 30 years.

We're told Phil regularly gives fiery sermons -- but last weekend, the entire family joined in, when the church celebrated Duck Commander Sunday ... a yearly tradition where the entire Robertson family preaches to the congregation in full camo (not kidding).

Funny... we're told the Duck Commander Sunday tradition existed long before the A&E reality show.

Anthony Weiner isn't just an a-hole to Brits and women and school teachers ... he's also a prick to Jews -- and today in NY, he screamed at one inside of a Jewish bakery.

Weiner was being his typical unlikable self ... when a voter made a comment about why he thought the habitual self-dong photographer should fold his campaign.

Weiner, unhappy with the comment, called the guy a jackass ... and went off on another condescending attack ... proving, once again, he's the worst campaigner of all time.

Happy Rosh Hashanah everybody.

9/5/13 -- Turns out, the guy Weiner was screaming at had talked smack about Anthony's wife right before the eruption ... and it was all caught on tape.

In new footage, you can hear the Jewish man tell Weiner, "You're a real scumbag" .... and, "You're married to an Arab."

That's when Weiner lost his cool.

So, now that we know this information, do ya blame Weiner for going ballistic on the guy?

Dave Chappelle is lashing out about the people who heckled him in Hartford, CT last week ... calling the crowd a bunch of "young, white alcoholics" and saying he wanted to pull a "reverse Kramer."

Chappelle took the stage at a show in Chicago last night ... and immediately went off on Hartford -- where he engaged in a nasty stand-off with the crowd after several loudmouthed fans heckled him during his set.

"I don't want anything bad to happen to the United States," Chappelle said ... "but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God I hope it lands in Hartford, Connecticut."

Chappelle then called the crowd "evil" ... and described them as a bunch of "young, white alcoholics."

"I wanted to pull a reverse Kramer and call them all crackers or something crazy like that."

Chappelle was obviously referring to the TMZ footage of Michael Richards during his insane N-bomb tirade at the Laugh Factory back in 2006.

In the end, Dave says the crowd in Hartford was lucky to see him "freak out" that night -- explaining, "That s**t's like being at a f**king tiger show the night Sigfried and Roy got their throats bit out by the tiger ... you don't go to see somebody be safe."

John Cusack has been haunted for years by emails, letters, tweets, and voice mails from a woman who claims angels told her she and Cusack are supposed to be together -- the very same woman who was arrested at his home yesterday.

As TMZ first reported ... Cusack requested, and was granted, a temporary restraining order against Elizabeth Pahlke, on August 30 ... which requires her to stay 100 yards away from the actor and his security guard.

In his filing, Cusack says Pahlke has been blasting him with every form of communication under the sun for the past 3 years -- but the last straw came Aug. 29 when she left a letter at his house, and then waited for him outside.

Cusack says when Pahlke followed him as he left the house ... he called cops, and she was arrested and placed on a 5150 hold.

In the docs, Cusack says Pahlke "claims that the angels told her that we were together in a previous life, and that she needs to be with me now in order for me to remember how special she was to me."

Law enforcement sources tell us Pahlke was informed of the TRO yesterday -- and shortly afterward went straight to Cusack's house.

As we previously reported ... she was arrested for felony stalking and burglary. The L.A. County Sheriff's Department was at the house today ... dusting for fingerprints.

Suri Cruise is on the mend after breaking her arm recently, rocking a badass plaster cast in NYC yesterday filled with signatures and doodles from friends -- including some mysterious words of advice ... "no butt smacking with this."

We don't know who would write "no butt smacking" on a 7-year-old's cast, OR WHY, but Suri should probably listen.

Luckily, Suri looked in good spirits despite the busted limb, holding on to her mama's hand.

Ex-beauty queen Shanna Moakler knows all about quick weight loss ... because she just had 2.5 liters of fat slurped right out of her ... and TMZ has the photo to prove it.

Shanna stopped by Elite Body Sculpture in Beverly Hills on Tuesday for some quick body work -- a procedure called Airbrush Laser Liposculpture.

According to the EBS website, the doctor doesn't use a scalpel, but rather a circular-shaped device that leaves a scar that's smaller than a pencil top eraser.

We're told Shanna wanted some extra help tightening up her stomach ... because she's had a tough time getting back into pre-baby shape after birthing 3 kids.

After the procedure, the doc gave Shanna a jar of the removed lard -- which measured out to 2.5 liters of the fat stuff.

For all you metrically-challenged people -- 2.5 liters is equal to 84.5 ounces ... which is almost 3 Big Gulps.

The best part -- after Shanna lost the fat, she raced straight from the doc's office to Boa Steakhouse on the Sunset Strip and woofed down a big ol' juicy steak ... 'cause why the hell not?