Levi Johnston -- No Palin, No Gain

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We're not sure if he's gonna show his front or backside, but one thing's certain: Levi Johnston wants to make sure both sides look good for his upcoming Playgirl spread just in case.

Johnston's handler tells us the 19-year-old father of one is preparing for the shoot by hittin' the gym hard -- at least six days a week for the last three weeks -- with the help of a newly hired personal trainer.

Levi agreed to pose for Playgirl last month for an undisclosed amount ... but the real question is what he's willing to bare.

We'll find out soon enough -- the photo shoot happens sometime this month.

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Lawsuit Dr. Phil Trapped Me, Touched My Boob

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Dr. Phil is being sued by a woman who claims the TV shrink held her captive inside his production offices, forced her to stare at a naked man -- and then grabbed her left breast.

According to the suit, filed today in L.A. County Superior Court, a woman named Shirley Dieu claims she went to Phil to seek therapy in 2007 -- but instead she claims the doc tried to "brainwash" her and force her to endure all sorts of physical and emotional abuse.

In the docs, Shirley claims Phil forced her to "be in the same room with a completely naked live man while he exposed his entire naked body, genitals and all."

Shirley alleges she tried to escape the building, but "was blocked by the staff to prevent her from leaving."

In the docs, Shirley also claims Phil "touched her left breast during her therapy session."

Shirley also claims Phil lied to her about being a "real" doctor -- alleging that the TV shrink "is not licensed to practice in the state of California."

Shirley doesn't specify how much money she wants from Phil -- but we're assuming it's an insane figure.

Anna's Ex: Smith Wanted Me to Kill Pierce

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We just spoke with the guy who triggered the murder-for-hire investigation into Anna Nicole Smith -- and he says she repeatedly asked him to kill the son of her late husband, J. Howard Marshall II.

Anna's Ex Smith Wanted Me to Kill Pierce :: 1007_hatten_anna_audio_ex_myspace-1

Mark "Hollywood" Hatten, Anna's ex-BF, says a drug-addled Smith was continually "begging with me to kill E. Pierce Marshall" claiming after her husband died, Pierce was "standing in the way of her money."

Hatten says he told Pierce's lawyer about the alleged plot. Mark claims he was then interviewed by the FBI twice about the matter while he was in jail for an unrelated crime.

TMZ sources confirm that when Anna and Howard K. Stern met with the FBI, an agent told them Hatten was the one who made the claim. We're also told the agent didn't believe Hatten's story.

Ultimately, the FBI determined there was "insufficient evidence to establish that there was a murder-for-hire plot."

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Mel Gibson -- Bye-Bye DUI

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Mel Gibson's 2006 DUI is now officially off his record.

Judge Lawrence Mira just signed legal documents in Malibu, expunging the misdemeanor DUI from Mel's record.

The judge noted the conviction still is relevant for "gun control purposes." It can also be used as a prior conviction if Gibson gets popped for DUI in the future.

Mel's lawyer, Blair Berk, requested the motion to dismiss on September 21 after Mel successfully completed the terms of his three-year probation.

So, it's kinda like a legal version of Yom Kippur ... he atoned for his sins and he gets a clean slate. Mazel Tov, Mel.

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CBS 'No Secrets' Policy Doesn't Apply to Dave

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David Letterman may have violated CBS rules on bosses having relationships with their employees, but there's a catch -- Dave doesn't work for CBS.

CBS has guidelines on the conduct of its employees -- the Business Conduct Statement. TMZ has a copy of a provision titled "Supervisor/Subordinate Relationships." It reads:

"CBS recognizes that consenting romantic or sexual relationships may develop between a supervisor and a subordinate (whether such supervision is direct or indirect). These relationships frequently lead to complications and significant difficulties for the supervisor, the subordinate, others in the workplace, and CBS. If a consenting romantic or sexual relationship between a supervisor and a direct or indirect subordinate should develop, CBS requires the supervisor to disclose this information to his or her Company's Human Resources Department to ensure that there are no issues of actual or apparent favoritism, conflict of interest, sexual harassment, or any other negative impact on others in the work environment."

The Statement continues: "Upon being informed or learning of the existence of such a relationship, CBS will take steps that it deems appropriate to protect the workplace environment."

That said .... Dave is not an employee of CBS. He's employed by Worldwide Pants (WWP), his production company. WWP says, "We have a written policy in our employee manual that covers harassment. It is circulated to every employee every year. Dave is not in violation of our policy and no one has ever raised a complaint against him."

We do not know if WWP has a policy of requiring employees to disclose relationships with subordinates.

We contacted CBS but the company declined comment.

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Jon and Kate -- Overextended

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We're told Jon & Kate Gosselin aren't living hand to mouth, but the $200,000 account that Jon raided was the only real source of living income.

There's a report out that the couple is saddled with a $720,000 mortgage on their $1.12 million house. There was talk that TLC bought the house for them outright but we've learned that is not true. TLC paid them a salary and that's it.

We're told Jon and Kate have established a trust fund for their kids and it's well into the 6 figures, but they have significant debt. They still haven't been able to sell their first house and they owe a mortgage on it.

The reality is ..."Jon & Kate Plus 8" is good for the 8 but Jon and Kate are kinda strapped.

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Paul Rodriguez -- Et Tu, Carne Asada?

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Looks like real Mexicans aren't even immune to some old fashioned belly-busting Mexican food.

We're told Paul Rodriguez -- the famous Mexican-born comedian -- went out to a Mexican restaurant in Washington the night before he got really sick and had to go to the hospital for 4 days. Now he's thinking the whole thing was a bad case of food poisoning.

While doctors haven't been able to confirm this, we spoke to Paul's friend who said the comedian ordered the "Carne Asada Plate" -- and he spent the rest of the night in the bathroom ... before eventually calling an ambulance.

Paul stayed at the hospital Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night ... then checked out yesterday.

Just goes to show -- Mexican restaurants are all fun and games until someone is rushed to the ICU.

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David Letterman's Other Other Woman

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TMZ has obtained photos of Holly Hester -- the woman who acknowledged she had a relationship with David Letterman in the early 1990s -- back when she worked as an intern for Dave.

The pics show Hester with segment producer Frank Gannon (top) and writer Joe Furey (bottom) and were taken in Dave's outer offices back when he was at NBC.

Hester said her relationship with Letterman lasted a year and that she was "madly in love with him."

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Kate's Lawyer: Jon & His Lawyer are Frauds

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TMZ has obtained a letter Kate Gosselin's lawyer fired off to the lawyer for Jon -- and, to put it mildly, it's war.

Legal pit bull Marty Singer wrote the letter this past Friday. TMZ obtained a copy. In it, Singer expresses outrage that Jon secretly raided Jon and Kate's money market account "of hundreds of thousands of dollars," leaving only about $1,000. Singer says the withdrawal is not only "outrageous," it directly violates the Arbitration Award in the divorce which requires both parties to agree before any money is withdrawn.

Singer -- who says the withdrawal of funds is fraudulent and contemptible -- claims both Jon and his lawyer, Mark Heller, are hypocrites, after they went on Larry King's show and claimed family values (not money) was the important thing.

Singer says Heller has done this before, citing a New York Supreme Court decision which says Heller directed one of his clients in a divorce to "withdraw everything that's in the bank" so the money could be used to pay his fee.

And then there's this ... Singer blasts Heller, noting that the New York Supreme Court "addressed charges that you violated 'thirty-eight counts alleging multiple violations of the disciplinary rules,' and charges that you 'had engaged in a pattern of misconduct involving misrepresentations, deceit, abusive treatment of clients, fee gouging, neglect and willful failure to return unearned retainers to his clients' in matters which involved your 'mishandling of the matters of twelve separate clients.'" The letter goes on to claim Heller admitted to engaging in "professional misconduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit, or misrepresentation."

As we first reported, Kate's lawyers are going to court tomorrow, demanding that the monies be returned to the account and asking for a contempt citation.

We called Heller but he was not available for comment.

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Jackson Doc Had Propofol Sent to GF's Place

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Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Dr. Conrad Murray had a Las Vegas pharmacy send a steady supply of Propofol to his girlfriend's Santa Monica apartment -- the apartment where he was living.

Our sources tell us Dr. Murray had Applied Pharmacy send Propofol by Fed Ex to the address of Nicole Alvarez, the mother of the doctor's 7th child.

We've also confirmed with our law enforcement sources in the weeks preceding Jackson's death Dr. Murray was living at Alvarez's home during the days ... and only went to Jackson's home at night when he administered drugs to the singer.

Our sources say they have traced some but not all of the Propofol bottles found in Jackson's home after he died, to Applied Pharmacy.

Alvarez has been uncooperative with law enforcement and was forced to appear before the L.A. County Grand Jury last month to testify.

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Dave May Have Had His Very Own Intern

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A woman who interned for David Letterman in the early 90's says she was one of Letterman's top 10 -- on the staff.

Holly Hester
tells TMZ the internship was her first job in TV. At the time she was a student at NYU. Hester says during a hiatus, Dave called her up and asked her to the movies. It began a series of secret dates, with no one on the staff having any idea. She says, "I was madly in love with him at the time. I would have married him. He was hilarious."

Hester says Dave ended it after a year -- she says he told her the age span was just too great.

We placed several calls to Dave's rep. So far, no comment.

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Rodriguez Still Hospitalized with Mystery Ailment

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Comedian Paul Rodriguez is still in the hospital with what seems to be a mystery illness.

Paul was rushed to George Washington University Hospital in D.C. on Thursday after complaining of severe abdominal pain. He was placed in ICU, where he remains.

Rodriguez is a leader in the California Latino Water Coalition and was in D.C. to lobby Congress. Mario Santoya, a fellow member of the organization who has been by his bedside, told TMZ a few minutes ago doctors still don't know what is ailing Paul. They're doing tests, he said.

Santoya says they have taken the tubes out of Paul's nose but he's still in bad pain. Doctors will continue to do tests and he's expected to be hospitalized for a few more days, minimum.

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Beyonce's Dad Slapped with Paternity Suit

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TMZ has learned a woman has filed a paternity case against Beyonce's dad, Mathew Knowles.

We've learned Alexsandra Wright filed the case in L.A. County Superior Court. Wright lives in L.A. -- she works in the name-branding business. We're told she's in her late 30s.

Wright, who is 6-months pregnant, filed the case last week, alleges Knowles is the father. Sources say Wright is repped by Neal Hersh, who is currently repping Lamar Odom in the prenup negotiations with Khloe Kardashian.

Mathew has been married to Tina Knowles since 1980.

Mathew could not be immediately reached for comment. Ditto Neal Hersh.

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Alleged Extortionist Tried to Cash $2 Mil Check

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The Manhattan DA's press conference over David Letterman's extortion case just ended -- and revealed Robert "Joe" Halderman was busted after he tried depositing his $2 million check. Which raises the question ... who takes a check?

Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau said three meetings were held between Halderman and Letterman's lawyers at the Essex House -- Dave was not present -- and at the 3rd meeting, the check was turned over to Halderman.

Morgenthau says Letterman's lawyer wore a wire -- and the last two meetings were audio taped.

Halderman deposited the check -- which was designed to bounce -- the next morning, yesterday, and was then arrested.

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Letterman Says Someone's Extorting Him

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SECOND UPDATE: 11:58 PM ET TMZ has learned the identity of the alleged extortionist who was arrested today for attempted grand larceny in the first degree. He is 51-year-old Robert "Joe" Halderman who lives in Norwalk, CT. He is a producer for "48 Hours" and has been suspended pending results of the investigation.

David Letterman
says someone has demanded $2 million from him in return for not blowing the lid on Letterman's sexual liaisons in his office.

Letterman said on his show tonight he received a package 3 weeks ago from someone claiming to have info about sexual escapades between Letterman and some female employees on his staff.

The individual said Letterman would have to pay $2 million to keep the info secret.

Letterman went on to say he contacted the Special Prosecution Bureau of the Manhattan D.A.'s office. He said the D.A. investigated and cut a phony $2 million check to the alleged extortionist who was arrested today.

Letterman says he testified today before the grand jury. In his testimony, he says he acknowledged sexual relationships with members of his staff.

Letterman married his girlfriend of 23 years last March.

The Quaids -- All Paid Up

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We've learned Randy and Evi Quaid are all square with the hotel they allegedly stiffed on a roughly $10,000 bill -- but that doesn't mean they're out of the woods quite yet.

The San Ysidro Ranch -- the place where the Quaids ran up the big bill -- tells us the couple cut them a check for the remaining $5,000 balance yesterday. The first $5,000 was paid shortly after a warrant was issued for their arrest last week on three felonies -- burglary, conspiracy and defrauding an innkeeper.

The Santa Barbara County D.A. tells us they still face the original charges and are expected in court on October 19.

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